


When the Sun Stops Shining

by volleydorks



Series: Haikyuu!! Behind Bars [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Prison, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hinata and Kageyama are end game don't worry, I'm Sorry, M/M, Murder, Oikawa's your bOikawa, Prison, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Smut, Violence, You might need tissues, asahi and tanaka cook too, daisuga is in trouble, director ennoshita, inspired by oitnb and prison break ayy, nishinoya's a cook, passing notes, suga's kinky af, there's so much angst i'm sorry, these boys make so MANY MISTAKES, yamamoto's head cook, you're going to hate Tendou here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 107,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleydorks/pseuds/volleydorks
Summary: “Takeru, will we be together forever?”“Forever and ever, Shou-chan.”---Hinata Shouyou was living the best life he could’ve been living. He was the ace on Japan’s national volleyball team, playing alongside nationally-acclaimed players. He could spike anything, anywhere. He was a beast on and off the court. And most of all, he was finally engaged to the most beautiful woman he'd ever known, Yachi Hitoka. But, there was once a time where he’d met a wild beast along his journey. Little did Hinata know that the wild beast would return to destroy his career and his livelihood. One stupid mistake put the orange-haired male behind bars, being forced to manoeuvre his way through a prison full of rapists, paedophiles and murderers. But when he meets Kageyama Tobio, the king of the prison, everything changes. For a moment, fifteen years in prison begins to seem just a tad more bearable.What was the mistake Hinata made, again? Oh, that’s right. Falling in love with the wrong man.





	1. Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: If violence triggers you, you shouldn't read this. This fic revolves around prison/gangs, therefore much of it is violence-based. Flashbacks may also depict graphic descriptions of murder.  
> There may also be other possible triggers, but warnings will all be placed in their relevant chapters.

      “Shouyou! How could you not tell me?” The orange-haired man was looking over at the blonde Yachi Hitoka, the woman who was currently pacing around the living room in worry. She was clutching her head, looking as if she were about to throw up. “A _criminal_? How could you… we’ve been together five years. Five years.”

      “And I want to be with you for the rest of the years I’ve got left,” Hinata assured her, rushing towards the still-panicking Hitoka. He took her hand, which had a golden band adorning it, and kissed it. “I love you, Hitoka. You know that.”

      “Then… why wouldn’t you tell me?” Her brown eyes were watering, but she wasn’t making any attempt to pull away from him. Hinata had just gotten home from court. He’d taken a plea deal of fifteen years for being an accomplice in an armed robbery and for being part of the notorious gang, Wakunan. The original charge had been twenty-four years. However… the robbery had happened ages ago. He never once thought that it would come back to haunt him all of a sudden. It had been back when he was in high school, dating the eccentric Takeru. They’d all been part of gangs then. Hinata and Takeru had been part of the Wakunan gang. Even though Hinata had left the gang during his university years, his crimes hadn’t left him. He’d done a lot of bad things, but he’d never expected that they would catch up with him. Well, at least until the police pulled up outside of his suburban home and carted him out in handcuffs. Somehow, the handcuffs made him look more criminal than you’d expect.

      “I… it was in the past, Hitoka.”

      “I told you everything about me! I even told you about the time I… I had a hair… growing from you-know-where!” Her face went bright red, but she didn’t stop talking. “So… why? I thought we knew each other, Shouyou.”

      “We do! It’s just stupid stuff in the past, okay? I was part of a gang. But… I’ve got nothing to do with that now.”

      “I’ve known you five years, Shouyou. Why would you join that gang? You’ve spent years and years working towards going pro, so why? You finally made it, so…” The tears were starting to fall down her cheeks, slick and salty. The sight was almost enough to bring the orange-haired ace to tears — but it didn’t. He knew he had to stay strong, not only for himself, but for his beautiful fiancée, Hitoka.

      “It… it was never meant to happen.”

***

_It was eight years ago when Hinata was fifteen. Annoyingly enough, as a twenty-three year old, he’d only grown two centimetres taller in the five years he’d spent playing volleyball at high school and university. It was also eight years ago when Hinata happened to go out volleyball shopping at night-time. He’d spiked a ball so hard that it’d gone flat. Since he couldn’t wait until morning to get a new ball, he had decided to rush down to the store. It was then that he saw the leader of Wakunan, Takeru. Nakashima Takeru. And his clothes were covered in blood. He could see the scarlet red, glistening underneath the dim of the street lights._

_“Woah! You’re covered in juice!” The oblivious Hinata ran towards Takeru, who had emerged from a nearby alleyway. But when he reached the alleyway, he saw the dismembered body behind Takeru. “Woah! Is that a dummy? Cool!”_

_“Idiot,” Takeru muttered, grabbing onto Hinata’s arm. “Oi, Teppei! You can come out now, the idiot’s dead.”_

_“D…Dead?” Hinata pulled away from Takeru, looked at him once again. The scowl that lined his face, sharper than any spike Hinata had ever pulled off, his sharp vampire-like tooth and his pointed jaw. With his shaved head, he looked like the kind of guy that Hinata’s parents would’ve warned him about. In the back of the brain, he could hear them warning him that he ‘shouldn’t talk to strangers’. But… Hinata couldn’t help but find him attractive._

***

      “That doesn’t change the fact that you lied.”

      “I’m sorry, Hitoka.” _Pause_. “Are you going to leave me?”

      “Well…” Hinata didn’t miss how she’d hesitated. Lately, he’d noticed that Hitoka had been getting quite cosy with the next door neighbour, Tsukishima Akiteru. He’d never said anything to Hitoka about it, but he’d kept the thought in his mind. “Of course not. I’ll wait for you, Shouyou. I love you.”

      “I love you too, Hitoka.” He kissed the blonde and wrapped his arms around her, holding her like he never wanted to let her go. His lips caressed hers, just as gentle as they’d been when they first kissed, and his teeth gently nipped at her sensitive lips. She gasped, but she didn’t pull away. She gripped the orange-haired man’s back and began to push him towards the stairs.

      “Take me,” she groaned, still stumbling her way up the stairs. “Take me like it’s the last time you’ll ever take me.”

      “Take you where?” Hinata pulled away, looking at her in confusion. The blonde looked like she was ready to push him down the stairs, but she simply rolled her eyes and kissed him once again, pulling him down the hallway.

      “Please don’t change, Shouyou. You’re an idiot, and I love you.”

***

      It was late evening when Hinata woke up. Yachi was quietly snuffling beside him, deep in sleep. He’d woken up to the sound of his mobile phone ringing on the bedside table. Groaning, he picked up the phone and put it to his ear without checking who the caller was.

      “So, Hinata. Why would you just randomly text _I’m going to jail_? Don’t joke around. We’ve got the tournament coming up soon. We need our ace.” His coach, Irihata, was on the other end. And he sounded _pissed_.

      “I am going to jail though,” Hinata insisted. “Tomorrow.”

      “You?” Irihata snorted. “Come on, stop messing around.”

      “Why don’t you believe me?” The orange-haired man forgot that he had a sleeping female beside him — well, at least until she slapped his shoulder and mumbled at him to “stop being so loud”.

      “Well, what did you do? Stream movies illegally?”

      “Six years ago, I helped out in an armed robbery,” Hinata finally said, letting out a deep sigh. “A man died. The owner of the jewellery shop. The prosecution wanted me to get twenty-five years, but my lawyers managed to get me fifteen.”

      The silence on the other end of the phone was killing Hinata. He knew that he’d never be able to play for Japan’s national team ever again once this got out to the media. That was the worst part. He hadn’t cried when he’d been given the sentence. Nor had he cried when Hitoka was there to drive him home. He hadn’t cried when Hitoka cried. But now, he was bawling. He was bawling down the phone, barely unable to control his emotions.

      “I—I didn’t know that he’d shoot anyone! I told h—him, but he didn’t listen, and now, now, now—”

      “Hey, Hinata. _Hinata_.” He could hear the sounds of the team in the background. The teammates he’d grown to love, respect and envy (for their height, of course). He would never get to see them again once he stepped inside Fukurodani Penitentiary. He wouldn’t get to see the bubbly Bokuto or his reserved boyfriend, Akaashi. Nor would he get to see Washio, Sarukui or Komi.

      “I’m sorry, Coach! I’m sorry!”

      “Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto was on the other end of the line. “Shouyou, stop blubbering. We can’t have our ace in tears now, can we? Akaashi, say something!”

      “Shouyou. Jail’s just a place. As long as you keep to yourself, nothing will happen.” Akaashi’s smooth-flowing voice was in Hinata’s ears, already calming him down. Akaashi had always had a knack for saying the right thing. He’d learnt the habit thanks to his eccentric boyfriend, Bokuto.

      “Y…Yeah.” Hinata wiped his tears away, breathing in and out as he allowed himself to calm down. Over the years, he’d gotten better at controlling his emotions. He didn’t get upset often (at least, that’s what he liked to believe) but when it concerned volleyball, he’d be in tears.

      “Hey, why don’t we send him off properly?” Washio was in the background. Even through the phone, it felt like Washio was right there yelling into Hinata’s ear. “We can go down to that Sakanoshita restaurant place. Their yakisoba’s amazing.”

      “Washio, are you drunk? Sending him off to _jail_? That’s hardly a celebration, is it?” Akaashi was speaking once again, his tone now expressing slight disbelief.

      “Well, if he’s got fifteen years, then we should let him taste the best yakisoba possible before he goes. Right?”

      “Party! Hey hey hey! Akaashi, come on. Help me cool down so we can go pick an outfit for me to wear!” Hinata’s heart was beginning to ache. He was going to miss his energetic team. He was going to miss slicking away Yachi’s blonde strands of hair in the mornings. He was going to miss looking out of his window while chomping on curry bread. He was going to miss life on the outside. Because, once he goes inside, he won’t come back outside as the same person.

      “Wait, guys. I don’t think going out’s the right decision—”

      “Nonsense, Shouyou,” Washio said. “We’re picking you up in an hour.” Before Hinata could muster a protest, he hung up the phone. Hinata clicked his tongue at the phone, but he didn’t bother trying to phone them back. Once his team made up their minds on something, _their minds were made up_.

      With that decided, he decided to click onto his camera roll. Even though he made one million yen a month from endorsements and winning tournaments with his team, he hadn’t bothered to invest in a new phone. Hinata wanted to keep all of his memories, the good and the bad. He’d gotten this phone upon entering his first year at his high school, and he’d cherished it. He looked at the first picture he’d ever taken — a selfie. He hadn’t changed much since then, not really. He was still tiny. His hair was still just as orange as ever (although he regularly worried about his hair turning grey one day) and his smile was still just as infectious.

      “You look cute there,” Yachi murmured, shifting her head onto Hinata’s shoulder. “So eager. Carefree. I remember how energetic you were when I first met you.”

      “I’m still energetic!” Hinata insisted, pouting at the blonde on his shoulder. “Didn’t you see how many spikes I pulled off in my last match? I _destroyed_ China. So did Bokuto. We’re the best spiker duo ever.”

      “I know, but… you’ve changed a lot since I first met you.” She kissed Hinata on the cheek before crawling out of bed, her bedsheets still draped over her body. “I heard your phone conversation, by the way. Sakanoshita? We haven’t been there since university, have we?”

      “I don’t want to go,” Hinata muttered.

      “It’s the last time you’ll see your team,” Yachi reminded him. He looked back down at his phone, unable to help his slight grin at the fifteen-year-old version of him who was smiling back at him. “Let yourself feel like you’re nineteen for the night.”

      “Ehh.” He clambered out of bed and walked towards his wardrobe, retrieving a pair of clean boxers. “I guess I’ll give it a try. But—”

      “Yay!” Yachi pumped one fist in the air. “Last one downstairs is a sour gooseberry!” Yachi turned to sprint out of the room, dropping the sheets from around her body.

      “Wait, Yachi! Aren’t you going to put your clothes on?”

      “Sour gooseberry!” She sprinted out of the room, leaving Hinata with no choice but to sprint after her. He’d never once won the race down the stairs. He always insisted that he _could_ if he wanted to and that he didn’t _care_ if Yachi won, but they both knew that he’d always let her win. Yachi hated losing. Hinata liked keeping Yachi happy. It worked for the both of them. Their relationship had always been easy; simple. That was all that they needed.

***

      “Chug, chug, chug, chug… hey!” Hinata slammed his empty cup down onto the table, maintaining eye contact with Bokuto, who was chanting just as loudly as ever. “Me next!” Hinata slid another glass of beer over to Bokuto, who eagerly downed the beverage. They’d only been at Sakanoshita for an hour, and most of the team were beginning to get tispy. They weren’t drunk though — well, except Bokuto and Hinata. Bokuto spent half of his time drunk, but he still managed to perform extremely well during games.

      “Bokuto, I think you’ve had too much to drink,” Akaashi scolded, trying to tug the glass out of Bokuto’s hand. However, Bokuto wasn’t letting go. The two of them kept tugging until the glass spilt over, tipping lukewarm beer over the both of them.

      “No! My outfit!” The glass fell to the table, miraculously managing to stay intact. It rolled off over to Sarukui’s side of the table. He righted it, raised his eyebrows at the panicking Bokuto, and took a bite out of the bowl of oyakodon in front of him. “Akaashi, help me!” He stood up, pulled the raven-haired man up and rushed towards the men’s toilets with him. Yachi was deep in conversation with the coach, who was telling an anecdote about his first time eating soup. The other team members were talking amongst themselves, eating and sipping on some liquor. But then, out of nowhere, Hinata stumbled to his feet. He began to walk away from the table.

      “Hey, Shouyou. What’s up—” The orange-haired man rushed out of the restaurant, not even bothering to explain himself to Washio. He’d seen _him_. It had _had_ to be him, he knew it.

      “Takeru!” His feet were thundering on the concrete as he sprinted along the concrete, looking for that familiar shaved head that he’d rubbed lovingly so many times when the owner of that head was asleep. Hinata didn’t know why he was so desperate to see him. After all, their breakup had been pretty explosive. But… he wanted to know why he wasn’t in jail. Had he just thrown in Hinata’s name to save himself, or was he planning to come and get his revenge on the ace later?

      “Takeru!” The name was tearing from his lips, raw and aching. The wind kept snatching it away from him, so Hinata was trying to get it back. He couldn’t let some natural force hold the guy’s name the same way Hinata had. “Takeru!”

      Would he send assassins, maybe? Takeru could easily pay someone to erase the ace as if he’d never existed. Hinata had tried to disappear from Takeru’s life, but what if the Wakunan leader would make sure he disappeared for good?

      He gasped. “Takeru!”

      It didn’t mean that Hinata had never loved him. But Hinata couldn’t keep torturing himself the way he did whenever he was with that guy, watching him torture the world as if it was only there to be hurt. Takeru had tortured the world; tortured him.

      Suddenly, fifteen years was beginning to feel like a death sentence.

 

 

 


	2. The First Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata thinks back to his first meeting with Nakashima Takeru eight years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note as of 26/12/17: This chapter's being really weird. Ever since I updated this chapter and the first one (Redemption) with some minor details about two weeks ago, it keeps duplicating. I'll change the title of this back to 'The First Flashback' and make sure that the contents of the chapter hasn't somehow gone back to the contents of the last chapter, but when I come the next day to change a few more details, it just goes back to being a duplicate. I'm not really sure how to fix it. As of now, I'm trying to figure it out, but I may just get rid of this chapter and merge it into the first chapter if I'm unable to find a proper solution. I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused by this >_<

      “You… you killed a man?” Hinata was stuttering, backing away from the scowling boy. He was really, _really_ beginning to wish that he’d listened to his parents about not talking to strangers. “The only thing you should kill is a volley…volleyball!”

      The other male clicked his tongue. “Volleyball. Heh.”

      “What? You don’t like volleyball?”

      “So… you come across a guy who’s just killed someone, and your concern is that I don’t like volleyball.” He blinked at the orange-haired boy, who was blinking right back at him. “Wow. Well, you’re too cute to kill.”

      “Ehh?” Hinata wasn’t sure if he’d heard the boy right. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he’d heard the boy at all. His thoughts were beginning to drown out reality. He was trying to fathom why someone _wouldn’t_ like volleyball.

      “Tell me your name.” The boy grinned. It was then that Hinata lost his bearings. The boy was cute, _so_ cute. There was a sort of danger about him when he scowled with that sharp vampire tooth of his, but when he _smiled_ … he looked his age. He looked innocent, despite the blood on his clothes. He looked like someone Hinata could easily fall for.

      “Hinata… Hinata Shouyou.”

      “Hmm. Well, I’ll call you Shou-chan. Only I can call you that, okay?”

      “Shou-chan…” Hinata might as well have had stars in his eyes. The way it rolled off the boy’s tongue made it sound near-erotic. Hinata might have missed a _lot_ of things at that age, but he didn’t miss that.

      “I’m Takeru. The leader of Wakunan.”

      “Ooh, Wakunan! So cool!” Hinata’s eyes were glistening. But then, the young boy tilted his head in confusion. “Wait, what _is_ Wakunan?”

      Takeru rolled his eyes. “Wakunan is one of the best gangs out there. We all wear pink.” He pointed to the pink wrapping on his wrist, which was slightly torn and tatty. “We all carry guns. And we all shoot to kill.”

      “You look young though. You’re not that much taller than me—” At the mention of his height, Takeru grabbed Hinata and pushed him up against the wall. His one hand had Hinata firmly anchored to the brick wall. Hinata should’ve been scared, but all he could focus on was the heat coming off Takeru’s hand. It was so _warm_. And even though he was strong, he could tell that Takeru had soft hands. Hinata’s hands had hardened up after spiking so many times.

      “Do you want to know what happened last time someone mentioned my height?”

      “Ah… uh… hmm…”

      “I shot him in the knees and said, ‘Look who the shorty is now’. Then, I put a bullet in his head. That was fun.” He snorted with laughter, the gentle tones way too calming for a man, boy, kid, whatever the _fuck_ he is, who had just killed a man. Hinata wasn’t sure how to feel right now. He knew that he was at least safe from being shot in the knees since he was slightly shorter than Takeru, but he gained little reassurance from that fact. It seemed like Takeru had been in the game for so long that he was capable of killing a human being, any way he liked without feeling any remorse. _What if Takeru uses him as some sort of test subject?_

      “You killed him for something like that?” Hinata couldn’t look past his apparent sadism anymore. Sure, Takeru was cute, but… _he’s a killer_. Having reached that conclusion, Hinata struggled in Takeru’s grip, attempting to wriggle his way free. This boy in front of him could _kill_ him and his family would be none the wiser. When Takeru’s grip shifted from Hinata’s chest to both hands, Hinata only found himself even _more_ trapped than he was before.

      “Well, that’s kind of obvious. You don’t disrespect a gang leader.” Takeru lifted his free hand and poked Hinata on the nose, smearing the dead man’s blood on him. Hinata’s eyes widened in horror as the smell of the blood reached his nose: bitter, metallic. It was rustic. Dark. It was still pooling on the floor, bright red and glistening. However, it was still so dark that he could barely see. He was far from any streetlights, streetlights that may have testified to the events that had taken place tonight. Again, Hinata mentally scolded himself for being so _naïve_. “Now, you’re an accomplice. Won’t you be a darling and drive me over to the hideout?”

      “But I… I’m only fifteen…”

      “Takeru, stop toying around with pedestrians.” A blonde-haired man appeared at the mouth of the alleyway, tilting his head over at the smirking Takeru. “Our ride’s here. Tsuyoshi’s driving. You got the guy’s shit, right?”

      “Yup. We’re stinking rich now, hmm?” Takeru pulled out a whole load of credit and debit cards from his pockets, smiling at the sight of them. “Those Nekoma assholes better know not to fuck with us now. We’re going to keep hitting them and we’re going to hit them _hard_. Karasuno too. They’re all a bunch of _pussies_.” He let Hinata go in the process. The orange-haired boy sank to his knees, shaking as he realised the seriousness of the situation. _Did he just stumble head-first into some sort of gang rivalry?_

      “I… I need to go to the police!” He hopped up to his feet and tried to sprint away, but the blonde-haired man stepped in front of him and punched him before Hinata could even react. He’d gotten used to taking balls to the face on the court, but getting punched by a man with virtually no muscles had been a _lot_ more painful than Hinata would’ve expected.

      “Oi, you! Don’t punch him!” Hinata staggered back, footsteps disjointed until he felt the cold bricks pressing into his back, breathing heavily while he held his bleeding nose. He was shocked when he noticed that Takeru was advancing towards the blonde-haired man. Takeru had a predatory air about him. It was clear in the way his footsteps were quick yet silent, the way he moved so swiftly. Then, Takeru lifted his gun, causing Hinata’s eyes to widen in horror. _Just how crazy is he?_

      “Don’t shoot him!” The words left Hinata’s lips before he could even think. He didn’t think about the possibility that Takeru might shoot him to shut him up, nor did he think about the possibility of some pedestrian overhearing and calling the police on all three of them. The only thing on his mind was stopping Takeru from shooting yet another man.

      Takeru slammed the barrel of the gun against the guy’s head, causing the blonde to fall to the ground. He let out a yell, but he wasn’t dead. Just a little hurt. Takeru tucked the gun back into his waistband before advancing towards Hinata, who looked like death personified at this point.

      “I’m not going to shoot my own team.” He held out his hand to Hinata. “And I’m not going to shoot you either, so you can stop looking at me like that. Hey, you were going to the volleyball shop nearby, right? Come on. Let’s go get cleaned up and then I’ll buy you whatever to make up for dragging you into this. Because, I can’t let you drag yourself back out now.” Right now, Takeru sounded like a father talking to his son. His tone was soft, _oh so soft_ , but there was still that hard edge in his eyes.

      Hinata looked down at his clothes. He’d been wearing his volleyball kit, which was a dark black. Thankfully, it was dark enough that it hid all the blood stains he’d gotten from Takeru touching him. But, just the thought of that rustic blood on his clothes made him _sick_.

      “I don’t want to join a gang,” Hinata whispered at last. “I just want to spike.”

      “Shou-chan,” Takeru whispered, getting down onto his knees. “You don’t have a choice.”

***

      After some aimless running, he realised that he hadn’t seen Takeru. He was drunk, after all. He’d probably just imagined it. Sighing, he swayed back over to Sakanoshita, determined to see the night through. Although, at this rate, he’d probably end up passing out on the streets. He was sick of thinking. After all, he’d lost volleyball. He knew what the team’s celebration was for. Bokuto was going to become the team’s new ace, the one with the height and the power. The one who can do things Hinata can’t. Hinata had lost his volleyball. Hinata knew just as well as everyone else that without volleyball, he was nothing but another eccentric male with a couple of funny stories.


	3. Fukurodani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata defends his fiancee for the last time before walking into Fukurodani and resigning himself to his fate. It's then that he comes across the pervert C.O., otherwise known as the 'Guess Monster'.

      When Hitoka stopped the car outside of Fukurodani, Hinata let his volleyball drop out of his hands and onto his lap. It lingered there for a few moments before tumbling down to his feet, where it remained. His volleyball, the one he’d cherished for so many years. He was disappointed, that much was evident. He wanted to stay on the court for longer; he wanted to win more matches. He wanted to have more fans. But then his past had caught up and dragged him to _this_ place. The couple stepped out of the car, looking at the plain building. Brick walls, barred windows and a sign in front. _Fukurodani Penitentiary_. They had an owl as their logo. It looked suspiciously similar to Hinata’s teammate, Bokuto. Underneath, it said, “We’re watching you”. If Hinata hadn’t been so tense, he might have chuckled at that.

      “I’ll visit you,” Hitoka eventually said. “I promise.”

      “Yeah.” Hinata knew that she couldn’t promise something like that. Akiteru would take his chance to make a move on Hitoka while Hinata was out of the picture and there was nothing that he could do about it. He knew that Hitoka wouldn’t be able to wait fifteen years. They’d known each other for five, but even Hitoka hadn’t known about his gang activity. None of his friends had known. But now, it was out there in the open. It was already appearing in the media.

      “Hey! It’s him!” Suddenly, there was a swarm of reporters coming out from behind trees and bushes, wielding cameras and microphones as if they were weapons. “Hinata Shouyou, Japan’s volleyball ace! Tell me, Hinata-kun. No, tell the _world_. How do you feel?” There was a microphone thrust into his face. One cameraman even had the gall to shove Hitoka to one side so that he could get a side-angle of Hinata.

      “I feel like you need to stop shoving my fiancée.” Hinata’s gang side was beginning to kick in. Hinata had in no way been a feared gang member, but he’d learnt bad habits. He’d learnt how to fight with his fists. He’d learnt how to use his speed. He’d learnt how to intimidate with his words. The average Joe on the street would’ve been terrified of Hinata back in his gang days (even if Hinata _did_ mess up every now and again) and right now, this reporter looked quite startled by the look in Hinata’s eyes. Dark, cold and nothing like the Hinata everyone knew.

      “Shouyou, it’s okay—”

      “No.” Hinata went towards his fiancée, ignoring the cameras around them. He took her by the hands, kissed both of them. “Don’t let anyone push you around while I’m gone. And don’t play sour gooseberry with anyone until I’m out. Alright?” He mustered a grin, knowing that it would make his fiancée happy.

      “Yeah.” Hitoka managed a smile and gripped Hinata’s hands, kissing them with her soft lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

      “Hinata-kun, is it true that you were in a gang during your childhood?”

      “Hinata-kun, how do you feel now that you’ve lost your spot on Japan’s national team?”

      “Hinata-kun, how is it that you—”

      “L—Leave him alone!” Hitoka’s nervousness was beginning to show. Even though she had a famous athlete as her fiancé, she still wasn’t used to cameras, let alone big people. These reporters were massive.

      Hinata turned to face the reporters, who were still bombarding him with all sorts of questions. “I could tell you the answers to those questions, but what would be the point? So people can titter at me from behind their TV screens, laughing at the athlete who’s gone crashing all the way back down? My past caught up to me, and that’s all there is to it. Now, I suggest you all leave me _and_ my fiancée alone before my past catches up to you reporters too.”

      The reporters all let out various gasps, but none of them tried to question Hinata any further. They simply swarmed away, keeping the camera trained on him as they left. Although they’d disappeared out of sight, Hinata could still feel the lens trained on him and Hitoka. He clicked his tongue, but he didn’t push the issue any further.

      “You should probably go in now,” Hitoka murmured.

      “Mmm.” Hinata still had a banging headache from all the alcohol he’d drunk last night. Even though he technically wasn’t meant to drink alcohol right before going into prison, he didn’t care anymore. He’d lost his career. He had nothing left to do, right?

      “I… I love you.” Hitoka gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Then, she hurried back into the driver’s seat of her car, looking out at Hinata from the window. She waved, but he didn’t wave back. He was too focused on one fact: she didn’t want to walk him into the place. To him, that was the same as her outright saying “I’m giving up on you”.

      He drifted into the place, not even sure if he was still functioning. He wanted to muster a smile, he wanted to laugh and cheer and run about until his legs were burning in that same pleasant way they would in matches. He wanted to play volleyball. Volleyball. _Volleyball_.

      “Hello, this is Fukurodani—”

      “Volleyball!” Hinata went bright red after yelling the word out loud. The woman at reception simply raised her eyebrow at him. Then, she blinked a couple of times. Adjusted her glasses.

      “Wait, you’re Hinata-kun. Right?”

      “Mmm.” He didn’t trust himself to speak coherent English at this point.

      “Oh. Right. Well… let’s process you then.” The woman disappeared out of view, but Hinata could still hear her. “Hey, Wakatoshi! We got the new inmate, the volleyball freak!” The word ‘freak’ would’ve irritated Hinata if he’d actually been _listening_ to the words. He could hear her, but he wasn’t actually listening to what she was saying.

      Moments later, the door opened to reveal a bulky-looking man. He was wearing a dark blue button-up shirt with a pair of dark slacks which clung to his muscular frame. The first thing which Hinata noticed was the Japan pin which was on his shirt.

      “J…Japan!” Hinata pointed at the pin on his shirt. The man simply blinked at him, not saying anything. His jaw was quite defined, Hinata noticed. He had a very prominent aura, but at the same time, he seemed quite reserved.

      “Did that guy just call you Japan?” A red-haired man appeared alongside him, looking at Hinata as if he were fresh meat. “Ah! Classic!” He laughed, although it didn’t seem like mirthful laughter. It seemed more like it was meant to intimidate Hinata.

      “You seem to be in high moods today, Tendou.”

      “Of course! We got the volleyball freak in our prison!” Tendou advanced towards Hinata and grabbed him by the arm. “Now, let’s go _process_ him.”

      “Wait!” Hinata tried to pull himself out of Tendou’s grip. “Why did you say it like that—”

      “Let’s go _process_ him,” Tendou repeated, tugging Hinata down the hallway. The muscular man who Hinata had dubbed ‘Japan’ simply shut the door and followed behind the other two.

      “Wait! Wait! Stop dragging me!”

      “Inmate, I’ll do more than drag you if you don’t stop struggling,” Tendou said, letting an eerie smile cross his face. “Hey, Wakatoshi. I’ll take care of the processing.”

      “Do what you please.” Japan made his way down the hall while Tendou pulled the struggling Hinata off towards the processing room. Hinata was loudly protesting and calling for Japan to “save him”, but nobody heeded his protests. He was simply there, struggling until the door to the processing room slammed shut.

***

      “Pervert! He’s such a pervert!” Hinata was muttering to himself in frustration, clad in clothes that were many sizes too big for him. He looked like he’d decided to go playing around in his dad’s closet. He wished that was the case, that he’d just decided to wear prison colours for some fancy dress party. But, he could still feel the shackles on his wrists, even though they’d long gone. The ghost of his failures, wrapped around him and binding him to this place. But this wasn’t just any place; it wasn’t just another building. This was _prison_. And now, he was stuck in these stupid clothes which Tendou had picked out for him ‘specially’. Tendou had made a comment about Hinata having such a ‘small, child-like stature’ when he’d finally managed to wrestle the athlete out of his volleyball attire. Hinata had been very, _very_ reluctant to take his clothes off, especially in front of Tendou. Already, he seemed way too interested in Hinata. His eyes had lingered on Hinata’s athletic body for a _lot_ longer than necessary, especially when Hinata had been required to do the ‘squat and cough’.

      “Hey, you’re the new fish, right? On you get.” Hinata looked up to see that there was a grey-haired man driving a van. He wasn’t in the same colours as Hinata — this man was wearing a muddy-brown uniform. To Hinata’s pleasure, the clothes that he was wearing were bright orange, just like his hair. Of course, Tendou had made a creepy comment about how he’d be more than willing to help Hinata undress if he wanted smaller clothes, but Hinata just wanted to get _away_ from him. Despite the size of his clothes, they were his favourite colour. Orange. He stood out even more than usual, although he didn’t mind. He’d been in the spotlight his entire life — that wasn’t going to end anytime soon. Even if he _was_ still feeling a little tipsy, he’d make the most of it. He didn’t have time to mope around, not now. He had to adjust.

      Hinata hopped into the van, looking around himself. There were worn red seats, a shade of red which reminded him of the moment he met Takeru. _Takeru_ …

      “Guard, is he the last one today?”

      “Mmm.”

      Hinata blinked over at the person who was sitting in the back. He was wearing a thick white coat, although Hinata spotted a brief glimpse of blue beneath that coat. Blue as in C.O. uniform blue. “Wait, you have no eyebrows!” Hinata pointed at his lack of eyebrows, not even stopping to think that he might be making the C.O. uncomfortable.

      “Uh.” The white-haired man nodded. Like Wakatoshi, this guy also seemed to be quite reserved. His stance was closed off and his lips were set in a thin line. However, his eyes were cold. _Really_ cold. His lack of eyebrows didn’t help much either.

      “Hey, hey. Sit down.” The grey-haired man was chuckling in the front, looking over at Hinata in the rear view mirror. He had a mole under his left eye and his eyes themselves were a pleasant hazel-brown shade. There were wrinkles forming in the corners of his eyes as he smiled, although his eyebrows furrowed together slightly as he began to focus his attention on the path in front of him. “What’s your name?”

      “H…Hinata.”

      “I’m Sugawara, but everyone calls me Suga.” The van turned a little, bumped along the road. All Hinata could see was the wired fences that were surrounding them. _If he tried hard enough, he could jump over them. Maybe_. It’s what he’s always done, after all. He jumps, and life does the rest for him.

      “Aren’t you a prisoner? Why are you allowed to drive?”

      “Inmate,” Suga corrected. “We’re inmates. The term prisoner is a bit _mundane_ , don’t you think? Tsukki taught me that term. He’d kill me if he knew I was referring to him as Tsukki though, jeez.” He rolled his eyes, letting out a little chuckle. Already, Hinata could tell that Sugawara was a very jolly man. “And this place is pretty broke, so they prefer to get us inmates to do everything. Saves money. You’d think they’d be able to get us some better movies up in here with all the money they’re saving.”

      “Do… do you know if there’s a man called Take— I mean, Nakashima, in here?”

      “Nakashima? Nope. Why?”

      “Just wondering.” Hinata was thinking about the Wakunan gang that he’d spent all those years in. All the way through those three years of high school. The armed robbery wasn’t the only illegal thing Hinata had been involved in. He’d done a _lot_ more than that. He’d witnessed murders (even though he didn’t agree with any of them) and he’d engaged in hand-to-hand combat with rival gang members many times. But, the only thing he’d been caught for was being an accomplice to an armed robbery. He knew what had happened. One of the Wakunan members had dropped his name and single-handedly ruined his life. But the real question was, _who did it_? He knew that none of the Wakunan members had liked him; they just saw him as Takeru’s little boy toy. They’d often treat him like he was below them. However, after one unfortunate young boy had insulted Hinata in Takeru’s presence, Takeru had decided to make an example out of him. Predictably enough, the bullying stopped after that particular event. But Hinata had still felt them silently judging him, silently hating him. Any single one of them could’ve ratted him out. _But who?_

      The van eventually stopped. Once Hinata clambered out of the van, the first thing he noticed were the inmates. They looked rowdy. Rowdy and _angry_. The only thing keeping them from clawing him apart were the wiry fences topped with barbed wire. But they were all watching him with Tendou-like facial expressions.

      “What’s with these Tendou copies?!”

      “Tendou copies?” Suga looked confused for a moment, but once his eyes glanced over the yelling inmates, realisation clicked in his eyes. “Oh. _Oh_.” He burst into laughter as he began to skip down the path, his eyes set on the building in front of them. It looked even more depressing than the sight of a spiker’s spike getting blocked.

      “Hey, do you want to know something about Tendou?”

      “Yeah!” Hinata was hopping from foot to foot, clutching his toothbrush and toothpaste in his hand. He’d also been given a towel, which he’d chosen to wrap around his neck so that it was hanging down. He looked more like a junior high student running around a playground rather than a fully-grown adult stepping into prison.

      “Legend is that he can guess the size of an inmate’s dick just from looking at the inmate’s eyes. They call him the Guess Monster.” This fact made Hinata’s eyes widen.

      “Guess Monster…”

      Hinata wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted or awed. However, he didn’t have time to dwell upon it since he could already hear the leering and yelling coming from behind those wired fences.

      “Hey! Fish! Wiggle that tight little ass for us, ey?” The words forced a shiver down Hinata’s spine as he turned to face the crowd. He stopped walking. However, one look from the white-haired guard was enough to silence the man who’d been yelling over at Hinata. The guard nodded once at Hinata, then resumed his blank staring into the distance.

      “That’s Terushima. He’s with the Johzenji crew,” Suga explained. “Stay away from Johzenji. They’re a bad lot. Most of them have life sentences, so they pretty much do whatever they want. They don’t care about consequences.”

      “Ah.” Hinata nodded. He was subconsciously beginning to walk quicker and quicker. It wasn’t until Suga asked him to slow down that he realised just how nervous he was.

      Finally, they reached the building. They’d only been walking for about three minutes, but it felt like _years_. Plus, Suga was a pretty slow walker. Once they got in, the guard removed his thick white coat. There was a nametag on his shirt which read ‘Aone’.

      “Did Guess Monster tell you which counsellor you’ve been assigned?”

      “He said I was with some guy called Oikawa, but if I ever needed to talk about feelings, he’d listen to all of them. Even the dirty ones.”

      Suga rolled his eyes. “Guess Monster comes onto _everyone_. He’s just a horny old man. Don’t pay attention to his words. Anyway, we all know he’s got a raging hard-on for Ushiwaka.” Hinata was slightly shocked at Suga’s forwardness, but he couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled forth from his lips. Right now, he needed it.

      It was then that Aone made a small sound of annoyance.

      “Sorry, Guard.” Suga smiled an innocent smile, showing that he clearly wasn’t sorry. However, the guard didn’t seem too bothered. “Alright. Well, I’ll take you down to Oikawa.” The look on Suga’s face was anything _but_ smiley. Just the mention of Oikawa had turned his smile into a scowl.

      “Is there something wrong with Oikawa?”

      “He’s just really stuck-up,” Suga muttered. “It’s like he thinks he runs the prison. He gets paid the same minimum wage everyone else does. Cocky motherfucking—” Aone cleared his throat, stopping any further expletives from leaving Suga’s lips. “Sorry, Guard.” Aone grunted, but he didn’t say anything else.

      “Who else is there?”

      “Iwaizumi. He’s kind of hot, actually,” Suga murmured. “You know, I hear he plays volleyball outside of work—”

      “Volleyball! Is there a court?!”

      “Hey, hold on—”

      “Volleyball!” Hinata tried to sprint back outside, but Aone was there in an instant, restraining the small man. “I want to play volleyball!”

      “Hey, hey. Calm down,” Suga said. “There’s no volleyball here. There’s a running track, but that’s it.” Hinata stopped struggling once he heard those words. _No volleyball_. Aone let him go. It took everything Hinata had to keep standing, to stay upright. It was then that he realised. Even if he’d been able to retain his place in the national volleyball team fifreen years later, he wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as he’d been before getting thrown in jail. His receiving and serving would become _horrible_ if he couldn’t at least practice at some point during these fifteen years.

      “Take me… take me to Oikawa.”


	4. Chibi-Chan in the Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's obsessed with Iwaizumi. He's also strangely talented at configuring things for his office. He also manages to piss off nearly every single person he meets, including Hinata.

      “Chibi-chan!” Oikawa’s eyes lit up in joy when the orange-haired man walked in. He was speaking as if he knew the man personally, although Hinata had never met a man named Oikawa in his entire life. Hinata would’ve preferred if things had _stayed_ that way, but fate didn’t seem to be tilting in his favour. At least, not the way this year had been going for him.

      Hinata frowned at him. “The name’s Hinata.”

      “Chibi-chan,” Oikawa repeated, folding his arms stubbornly.

      “Hi. Na. Ta.”

      “Chi. Bi. Chan.”

      “Grr,” Hinata said, kicking over a chair in his frustration. He wasn’t even _that_ frustrated, but the man sitting in front of him was very annoying indeed. Hinata was beginning to understand why Suga wasn’t very fond of him. He had this air of superiority about him and he seemed to lack respect for people. In fact, he hadn’t even bothered to ask Hinata any questions. He was too focused on giving him that _stupid_ nickname.

      “Shrimp don’t growl.”

      “I never knew buttholes could talk,” Hinata muttered.

      “Butthole? I was expecting stronger language than that from… hmm, let’s see…” He grabbed a file from in front of him and opened it to a random page, pretending to read it (even though Hinata could see that it was clearly blank) before closing it again. “One of the most prominent members of Wakunan. Accomplice in armed robbery, huh? I’m not surprised you got caught, considering that bright hair. Is it dyed?”

      “No. It’s not.”

      “Well, chibi-chan, I’m here if you ever want to talk about your feelings and worries. And if anyone’s bullying you, tell me.” Oikawa stood up, grabbed a remote and pressed a button. A _spotlight_ shone on him, allowing him to tilt his head up in all his glory as the blinds rolled down on their own. The focus was on him. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, the saviour of Fukurodani Penitentiary. Everyone loves me, in case you haven’t noticed. I won’t blame you if you love me too.” He even pouted and twirled around in the spotlight. “Last year, I won a modelling competition. First place. I got one-thousand yen!” Hinata couldn’t help but notice that Oikawa _did_ have a nice body. His jaw was sharp and defined, he had quite thick-looking thighs and his short-sleeved shirt displayed his muscular arms. However, the personality was a deal-breaker.

      “A modelling competition for what, Halloween?” Oikawa gasped at Hinata’s roast. His finger on the remote slipped. He pressed a wrong button. All of a sudden, romantic music began to play out, the kind of music you’d hear when a sex scene comes up on TV. The room was even beginning to light up with rose-coloured lights, ‘setting the mood’. Oikawa was scrambling at his remote, trying to get it to turn off, but it seemed to be malfunctioning.

      “This—this isn’t for you,” Oikawa insisted, still pressing furiously at the remote. “It’s for Iwa-chan. He doesn’t love me yet, but he will.”

      “I’m going to go…” Hinata said, slowly walking out of the room. Oikawa seemed to be a lot of things. Professional wasn’t one of them. Hinata already knew that he _definitely_ wouldn’t be going to Oikawa for anything. He seemed about as useful as a bucket with a hole in it. A narcissistic, overly dramatic bucket.

      When Hinata stepped outside of the room, Suga was there waiting for him.

      “So, what did you think?”

      “People here are weird…” Hinata felt a shudder roll down his spine, the same way a droplet of water would roll down a cold, tall glass.

      “Well, it’s prison. Expect to find more weird people.” Suga grabbed Hinata by the arm and pulled him along. There were some inmates standing about in the corridors, although they didn’t seem too bothered about the presence of a new inmate (much to Hinata’s relief).

      Eventually, after receiving a brief tour of the prison from the overly enthusiastic Suga, they stopped outside of a random door. “This is where I’m leaving you. You’ll be rooming here,” Suga explained. “They do counts every day, twice on weekdays and three times on the weekend. It’s only one p.m. now, so you’ve got time before the next count. It’s at four, by the way.”

      “Okay.” Hinata nodded. “Thanks, Suga.”

      “No problem!” The grey-haired boy grinned mischievously before hurrying off into a different direction. “Hey, Daichi! Wait up!”

      Once Suga had disappeared, Hinata warily pushed the door open. His heart caught in his throat when he laid eyes upon the three other men in there. They were all members of Nekoma, a rival gang of Wakunan. Hinata had come across them multiple times during his time in Wakunan, although he’d been lucky enough not to have to fight any of the members.

      “So, the law caught up with you too.” There was a dark-haired man whose hair was done half-up and half down. He was regarding Hinata with a dark look in his eyes. It was that distinctive hairstyle which Hinata remembered. It was impossible to forget. This was Kuroo Tetsurou, the leader of Nekoma. Wakunan’s rival gang. “You were Takeru’s boy toy, right? Wakunan’s decoy.”

      “Kuroo, shut up.” Yaku walked towards Hinata, who was still pressed right up against the door. He’d never been so scared in his entire life. That time when he once bumped into a two-metre guy had _nothing_ on this moment. He was surrounded by members of a rival gang and he was expected to room with them. Hinata was beginning to forget that he’d left the gang. Looking at the Nekoma members now, it was like he was still part of Wakunan. “Hey. Ignore him, alright? You’ll be sleeping on top of Kenma’s bunk.” He handed the orange-haired man a pack of tissues. “Here. The first night can be a little rough,” he explained.

      Hinata looked over at the third man who hadn’t introduced himself yet. Kenma was curled up on the bottom bunk. Every now and again, little _pews_ and _bangs_ came from the little device he was wielding in his hands.

      “I thought electronics weren’t allowed,” Hinata mumbled.

      “We’re criminals,” Kuroo reminded Hinata. “Who gives a fuck?” Kuroo and Yaku started laughing, but Hinata was still too nervous to laugh. He was on edge, his mind flooding with thoughts of them trying to kill him in his sleep.

      “It looks like they got all the gang members at once, right?” Yaku looked around the room, tapping his foot in thought. “I mean, us three left Nekoma about two, three years ago. Kenma was working at a video game store, I was working as a butcher and I don’t know _what_ the hell Kuroo was doing. Probably prostituting himself to men—”

      “Hey. I do _not_ prostitute myself to men. Men prostitute themselves to _me_.” Kuroo had a proud grin on his face.

      “Keep telling yourself that, bud.” Yaku patted Kuroo on the back before turning his attention back to Hinata. “But seriously, they all just came for us. They pulled up some bogus charges, but the fact remains that they’re targeting gang members. Former or not former, we’re being targeted.”

      “So… does that mean they’ll all end up here?” Hinata was thinking about Takeru. He couldn’t help himself; he couldn’t stop wondering about his Takeru with the vampire tooth and the alluring smirk. He was already beginning to forget that he was engaged to Yachi Hitoka.

      “Most likely, yeah.”

      “Also, why do we have orange uniforms?”

      “Because we’re new meat,” Kuroo explained. “We haven’t been assigned dorms yet. Give it a couple of days. Just hope that you don’t end up with the Johzenji. You know, they—”

      “I know, I know,” Hinata said, not wanting to hear a repeat about the lawless Johzenji. He knew and he was _scared_. “When’s dinner?” Food was always a great way to take Hinata’s mind off things. When volleyball wasn’t an option, food was the next best thing. He could take curry buns and spike them at people.

      “Six,” Kuroo said. “Well, that’s when they start sending us down. Usually, it’s people like the King and his delinquents that go down first, then it’s—”

      “The King? Who’s that?” Hinata’s interest was piqued as he began to set up his bed, making it the way he remembered Yachi doing it. _She used to do this side first… or was it the other side?_

      “You don’t want to mess with the King,” Kuroo and Yaku warned at the same time. “Hey, we spoke at the same time! Ha, again!” The two were laughing and pointing at each other. The two were almost like carbon copies of Bokuto, much to Hinata’s amusement.

      “Who’s the King?” Hinata urged when he realised that the two men were too busy joking about with one another. Hinata found this interesting. He was wondering if the king was the equivalent of the ace. Because if Hinata couldn’t be the ace in a court, he wanted to be the ace of the prison.

      “Kageyama Tobio,” Kuroo eventually managed to say once he’d stopped laughing. “They call him the King. He hasn’t been here as long as other people, but he’s in charge of everything. _Everything_. He’s in charge of where we shit, what we eat and what we do. He might as well be in charge of what we breathe too.”

      “His case was pretty high-profile too,” Yaku supplemented.

      “Yeah, yeah. It was. Oh, chibi-chan. Rumours say that he annihilated Kitagawa Daiichi,” Kuroo informed Hinata, wiggling his eyebrows ominously. “They stole something from him, I think. No idea what it was, but the King wasn’t happy about it. So, in response, he went to their hideout and took every single last one of them on. One man against a whole dozen of members. The King left unscathed.”

      “Woah!” Hinata was goggle-eyed at the sound of this information. He’d stopped attempting to make his bunk. It was hopeless — the only thing he could just about set up was a volleyball. Nothing else. “Tell me more!”

      “They call him the King because he has control over everything. Most people think it’s a good thing, but it emphasises just how alone he is. He uses people as his pawns and then discards them when he’s done,” Kuroo explained. “You’d do well to stay away from him. I mean, I still like the guy, but you gotta remember that the whole of Karasuno is dangerous. Especially for you, since you're Wakunan. Nekoma and Karasuno are allies, so I don't need to be scared of him. But seriously, be careful. The King has the highest body count of anyone in this place.”

      Hinata’s eyes might as well have been replaced with stars. “Cool… he’s so cool! I want to meet him!” During his time in Wakunan, he’d heard a lot about Karasuno. Takeru had _despised_ them, but he’d never outright done anything to hurt them. Hinata had never once met any of the members, let alone be fortunate enough to find out their names.

      “Hey, hey. He doesn’t come out that often, so you won’t meet him. He has his own special dorm and everything. He picks who’s allowed to go in that dorm with him,” Kuroo explained. “Everyone’s scared of him. He’s powerful, _really_ powerful. I think I’d shit myself if I ever got on his bad side.”

      “You’d shit yourself regardless. I remember that time you got yelled at by that one C.O. and you shit yourself because you were so scared,” Yaku pointed out, cackling at Kuroo’s distraught expression.

      “Shut up, Demon-senpai.”

      “I didn’t do anything,” Yaku said, mimicking Kuroo’s voice. “Well, you kind of did,” he added, returning to his normal voice. He cackled even louder — well, at least until Kenma spoke for the first time.

      “Can you two be quiet? I’m trying to get past this level.” He was so quiet that Hinata had to strain to hear his voice. He couldn’t help but wonder how a prison could harbour so many shy types. Aone, Wakatoshi and now Kenma. Hinata wanted to be on a friendly basis with all of them (except Wakatoshi since he left him alone with Tendou, the pervert C.O.). He figured that if he was going to be in there for the next fifteen years, he might as well make some friends.

      “Sorry, Kenma,” Kuroo yelled. Kuroo’s sudden yell startled Kenma, whose hand fumbled with the console. It slipped out from his nimble fingers. There was one loud _thud_ , a growl from the device, then nothing.

      “Ah.” Kenma scrambled out of his bed and grabbed the console, staring at it for a few moments. “It’s broken.” Hinata was beginning to forget about all the gang divisions. Right now, they were all just people, rooming together while they waited for their dorm assignments to come. They all seemed quite normal once you removed the ‘Nekoma’ label. There was just a loud rooster-haired guy, a video game fanatic and a guy with a pretty messy haircut. Hinata _really_ wanted to know more about the King, but he knew that it wasn’t the time to ask.

      “Kenma, you’re doing your _silent despair_ face,” Kuroo said, walking towards the blonde. “I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new console. Your birthday’s coming up, right?” Kenma didn’t bother to mention that his birthday was nowhere near coming up. It didn’t matter since he’d never bothered to celebrate it; he didn’t plan on celebrating anytime soon.

      “I don’t celebrate my birthday.”

      “You do now.” He turned away from Kenma and put both his hands up in the air. “Guys! We’re having a birthday party for Kenma! Gifts, drinks and par-tay!”

      “You don’t know when my birthday is,” Kenma interjected.

      “Then I’ll make you a birthday!” Kuroo proclaimed, spreading his arms as if he were Jesus Christ. “Today, I bestow upon you the date of… um… hell, I don’t even know what the date is.”

      Yaku snorted. “In case you can’t tell, this idiot here almost failed uni. You spent a lot of time under that professor’s desk, didn’t you Kuroo?”

      “A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” Kuroo slapped a fist to his chest. “He gave me passing grades. Oh, and his number. I deleted it after graduation.”

      “Kuroo, where’s your shame?” Kenma turned his head to face Kuroo.

      “Kenma, not you too!” Kuroo groaned. “Isn’t _one_ person going to commend me for seducing my way into a passing grade?!”

      “We’d commend you if you had actually studied,” Yaku said. “And don’t use the gang as an excuse. All of _us_ passed, didn’t we? I passed my history course, Kenma passed his programming course and even _Yamamoto_ passed his course in cooking.”

      Kuroo growled in annoyance. “You’ll all appreciate me one day.”

      “Yeah, when you’re six feet underground,” Yaku snapped back.

      It was then that Hinata decided to turn towards the door and unlock it, yelling one word over to the three men before sprinting his way out of the room. “Toilet!”

***

      Over many, many, many, _many_ years, Hinata had learnt that the bathroom was often a bad place to go to before matches. He’d always end up getting himself caught up in the jungle of tall, intimidating-looking players. But, this wasn’t volleyball, Hinata reasoned. This was just prison.

      He stepped into the bathroom, only to bump into a dark-haired man. He was tall, definitely at least six feet tall. And he was scowling, _really_ scowling. He had two men at his sides. There was one with a turnip head and one who had a slightly more reserved look than the domineering six-foot man.

      “S—Sorry!” Hinata backed up slightly. The dark-haired man’s glare only seemed to deepen. He looked as if he could’ve ripped Hinata apart without a second glance. In fact, Hinata wouldn’t have put it past him. He’d always had a really bad habit of bumping into people much taller than him. Some people saw it as Hinata trying to start a fight (when in fact, he just wanted to relieve himself).

      “You shouldn’t be here. This is the Karasuno bathroom.” At the word ‘Karasuno’, Hinata took another close look at the man in front of him. _Yup. That must be the King_. He had an aura about him, a stance which told onlookers that he could crush them if he wanted to. Hinata was fascinated.

      “Sorry…” Hinata put his hands up. “I’m new, so—”

      “Watch where you’re going.” The King shoved his way past Hinata, his two minions following closely behind. Moments later, they’d disappeared down the hall. Hinata rushed out to look at the three of them, but all he saw were the backs of their heads. They were all wearing the muddy-brown uniform that Suga had been wearing, and they were all dark-haired. Hinata concluded that they were all part of the same gang and darted back into the bathroom, this time managing to relieve himself without incident. On the interior of the stall door, there was a page from some male erotic magazine stuck to it, with a note written above it: **Came here to pump your pipe? Have some material to help you out! (If you’re not into muscly guys, feel free to solicit something else from mine and Daichi’s collection for the cost of three Ramen packets) – Suga.**

      Hinata cracked a smile at the message, although he couldn’t really see himself taking Suga up on his offer. Not only because he didn’t have a speck of ramen to his name, but because he had to stay loyal to Yachi. Even if he wouldn’t have his spot on the national volleyball team, he’d have Yachi through it all. He was choosing to remain optimistic about that, at least.

      When he came back out, he realised that there were other men in there. Naked.

      “Ah! Sorry!” He turned away from one naked guy, who’d been spiking his hair up in the mirror. But then, he was facing yet _another_ naked guy, who was tying his long hair into a bun. “Ah! Sorry! I’m sorry!” Hinata sprinted out of the bathroom before anyone could inform him that they didn’t _care_ about him staring. The orange-haired man was blushing so hard that he probably resembled the sun, considering that he was wearing all orange.

      Once he’d made it a safe distance away from the bathroom, he found himself standing nearby some phones. _Phones_. He rushed forwards and dialled Yachi’s number, desperate to hear a familiar voice. He hadn’t even been in this place for two hours and he already wanted to go out. How was he meant to last fifteen years in a place like this?

      Annoyingly enough, the phone call wouldn’t go through.

      “Agh!” Hinata slammed the phone against the brick wall.

      “Inmate! I’m giving you a shot!” There was a blonde-haired man holding a shot book in his hands. He’d been holding the pen to his lips before, which was cleverly designed to look like a cigarette. The badge on his shirt read ‘Ukai’.

      “A shot? No! Don’t shoot me!” Hinata got on his knees, prostrating himself, as he pleaded with the blonde. Hinata was aware of many pairs of eyes watching him, but he didn’t care. He just couldn’t believe that this guard had threatened to shoot him and no-one was bothering to jump in! _You really need to be able to look out for yourself in prison… huh_.

      “Shoot?” The blonde rubbed his head, slicking the dyed strands of hair back. “No. A shot’s an incident report. In this case, excessive violence is your crime. Now, on your feet, inmate.”

      “Violence? But the phone’s not working—”

      “On your feet, inmate!” Hinata scrambled to his feet, standing to attention.

      “Sorry! Please don’t shoot me! I mean shot me! Agh!”

      “Hinata!” Suga rushed towards the panicking orange-haired man, who was waving his hands about haphazardly. This time, he had another man in tow with him, a muscular-looking man who had dark hair and a welcoming smile. Judging by the way that he was looking at Suga, Hinata quietly assumed to himself that this was the aforementioned Daichi. “Ahh, Kei-chan— I mean, Ukai. He’s new. Just came in today,” Suga explained. “Please, don’t give him a shot. He’s still working out the ropes.”

      “He broke a phone!” Ukai looked like he’d rather be anywhere _but_ speaking to these people. Then again, he’d always been a pretty lazy man.

      “The phone was already broken,” Hinata insisted. “It won’t let me call my fiancée.”

      Something clicked in Suga’s eyes. “So, you haven’t got your PAC number.”

      “My what number?”

      Ukai groaned. “Idiot. Breaking a phone that wasn’t broken in the first place. Suga, isn’t it your job to make sure inmates know everything before they get here?”

      “I did! I explained it all to him! I even told him about Guess Mon—”

      “Koushi, are you an idiot?” The dark-haired man slapped a hand over Suga’s lips, now wearing an irritated expression on his face. “Sorry. He’s babbling nonsense again, Ukai.”

      “Whatever. I’m still giving the inmate a shot.”

      “Mmph! No, don’t — Daichi, move your damn hand!”

      “Ow!” Daichi pulled his hand away from Suga, who was now grinning mischievously. “You bit me!”

      “Don’t act like you don’t like it, Thighchi.”

      “Don’t call me that!” Ukai and Hinata looked over at Suga and Daichi, then at each other. Ukai looked irritated, judging by the scowl on his face. It was times like this that he wished that he’d done better in school. He’d never been a regular in high school volleyball, nor had he passed his exams with flying colours. And now, he was making minimum wage in a prison full of rapists, druggies and murderers.

      “Thighchi, Thighchi, he’s got a really nice di—”

      “Koushi!”

      Hinata began to walk away from the two, who were bickering like an old couple. Although, judging by how familiar they seemed to be, they probably _were_ a couple. Hinata couldn’t help but wonder if _everyone_ was gay in this prison. He’d heard the rumours about straight people ‘being turned gay’ while in prison, but he’d never known if they were true or not. Hinata himself was bisexual, which he’d learnt through a lot and _lot_ of experimentation.

      He eventually stopped outside of his counsellor’s office. Although he wasn’t very keen on Oikawa, he needed his PAC number if he was going to phone Yachi.

      Hinata opened the door, rolling his eyes when he saw what Oikawa was doing. He was sitting at his desk, scribbling down a very, _very_ intense-looking letter. It even had a little sketch on it and everything.

      “Um… Oikawa?”

      The brunette looked up from his letter. “Chibi-chan! What is it?”

      Hinata would’ve disputed the less-than-savoury nickname, but he didn’t have the energy to. Oikawa had made it very clear that he didn’t intend to stop calling Hinata that. “I need my PAC number.”

      “Your PAC number’s CHI816544. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m writing an apology letter to Iwa-chan.”

      “Wait, wait! Write it down!”

      “I am! See?” He held out the apology letter to him — although, it looked more like a _book_. Pages and pages of rambling and kanji and all sorts of words that Hinata himself couldn’t read (although, he’d never been much good at understanding kanji). Oikawa had even gone as far as to insert detailed drawings of himself apologising and smiling and so on. Hinata couldn’t help but wonder who this _Iwa-chan_ was.

      “No! My number!”

      “What, you want me to give your number to Iwa-chan? He’s _my_ Iwa-chan!” Oikawa threw a pencil at Hinata. “Get out.”

      “You’re my counsellor,” Hinata insisted. “Aren’t you meant to _help_ me?”

      “Get out!”

      “Give me my PAC number!” Hinata yelled back.

      “Stop trying to make a move on Iwa-chan!”

      “I’m not! I’m engaged!”

      “Stop being so small!”

      “I can’t help that!” Hinata went towards the desk and slammed his hands down on the desk, slightly crumpling the edge of Oikawa’s apology ‘letter’ in the process. The glare Oikawa gave Hinata was enough to make him feel like he needed to go to the toilet a second time.

      “I’ll give you your PAC number,” Oikawa growled, grabbing a separate piece of paper and writing each letter and number down. For some reason, just the act of Oikawa _writing_ was beginning to scare Hinata. Even though Hinata had been in a gang, he was easily scared and hated to be in confrontational situations. Hinata was the last person you’d expect to be part of a gang like Wakunan.

      Finally, Oikawa handed Hinata the piece of paper. Instead of his PAC number, Oikawa had drawn an overly detailed middle finger, complete with shading and fancy nail art. Next to it were the words ‘Go Away, Chibi-chan’. Just when Hinata was about to complain, he noticed that his PAC number had been written in very, _very_ small font underneath the picture. He could just about make out what each figure was meant to be.

      “Thanks,” Hinata said through gritted teeth. He went out of Oikawa’s room, only to bump into yet _another_ tall guy. “I’m sor—” The apology stopped short in his throat when he read the guy’s nametag. _Iwaizumi_. Hinata quickly figured out that Iwaizumi was the Iwa-chan that Oikawa had been babbling on about.

      “No problem.” Although Iwaizumi looked quite scary with his spiked hair and dark eyes, he sounded like a kind person. “I know who you are. Hinata Shouyou, the former ace of Japan’s volleyball team. I play volleyball,” Iwaizumi explained, offering his hand to Hinata. “I also have a great deal of respect for you. It’s nice to meet you.”

      “Oh. _Oh_. Well, thank you.” Hinata took his hand and shook it, slightly shocked by Iwaizumi’s welcoming demeanour. He was so different from Oikawa. “Are you a counsellor?”

      “Yes, I am. There’s just me and Oikawa here. What, am I your counsellor?” Iwaizumi seemed pretty excited. When shaking Iwaizumi’s hands, Hinata had noticed how hard they’d been. Hard from spiking countless balls, serving and so on. He also had pretty noticeable muscle which had most likely built up over the years of playing volleyball. It was very evident that the two of them would be able to get along well.

      “No, Oikawa is. He’s not really helpful though,” Hinata admitted.

      “Ugh, that Kusokawa,” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath, storming towards Oikawa’s door. “I’m sorry about him. He’s an idiot.” He disappeared through the door after directing an “Excuse me” in Hinata’s direction. Moments later, Iwaizumi’s loud yelling could be heard.

      With nothing else to do, Hinata made his way back towards his room, all the while thinking about how he could kill time for the next fifteen years.


	5. Milk's on the Menu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm Hinata Shouyou, and I'm from the concrete."  
> Now everyone knows who he is. He's the inmate who got on the wrong side of Kageyama Tobio.

      Hinata was relieved when he finally made it down to lunch. He was thinking that he’d be able to get himself some protein-filled meals. Because, while he knew he wouldn’t be able to play volleyball, he at least wanted to keep his physique. He’d built up lean muscle over the years; he’d resisted eating all those extra meat buns and he’d even eaten his _vegetables_. Not once, but _fhrice_. (They really should invent a word for that, shouldn’t they? You’ve got once, twice, thrice but you don’t have _fourice_ or _fhrice_!) Granted, he had his five vegetables five times a _week_ rather than five times a _day_ , but it’s the thought that counts, right? Either way, he was not going to lose his hard-earned physique because of prison. No way.

      He stood in line, waiting alongside Kuroo and Yaku. Kenma was there too, trying not to draw attention to himself. However, his unusual hair colour drew quite a bit of attention from the other inmates.

      “H—Here.” A tall guy with a slight goatee scooped some slop into a tray, some bread, some dry-looking rice and a pot of what appeared to be yoghurt. Hinata could feel the tips of his ears flushing bright red when he realised that this was the guy he'd seen naked just hours ago, the one with the long hair. He didn't seem to recognise Hinata, much to his relief. The food itself was all squished together in a way which made it look more unappetising than anything he’d ever eaten.

      “Wait, what is _this_?” Hinata had a disgusted look on his face as he regarded the tray.

      “Hinata, _shut up_.” Kuroo grabbed the tray from the goatee guy and forced it into Hinata’s hands before dragging him away from the food line. Once they were a reasonable distance away, Kuroo spoke once again. “Don’t speak bad about the food, otherwise you won’t get any at all.”

      “Eh?”

      “Yamamoto hates it when people talk smack about his cooking. There’s not much he can do, since the prison doesn’t give him much to work with. He uses the best ingredients for Karasuno and Nekoma. You guys get the standard shit.”

      “But I need protein! Where’s the protein in this? Fish? Eggs? Nuts?”

      “Now, _nuts_ aren’t hard to find. You’re surrounded by them. Might as well find a pair that suit your fancy,” Kuroo said, wiggling his eyebrows in jest. Hinata simply blinked at him, not understanding what the dark-haired man was talking about.

      “Eh?”

      Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Hey, you should come sit with us. Don’t worry, those Wakuwankers aren’t here. They all got transferred to max since they were plotting to murder a whole load of C.Os and start a riot. It was all Guess Monster’s fault. He—”

      “Inmates! Sit down or you’ll get shots!” The same blonde-haired Ukai from earlier was glaring at the two inmates, who were now scrambling over to their tables. For the first time since walking into the cafeteria, Hinata looked around himself. Everyone seemed to be sitting in gang groups, since each table had a distinct aura about them. Although he didn’t know who any of them were, he expected that Kuroo would explain each table to him. Well, _hopefully_.

      When they reached the table, Kuroo pushed Hinata down into a random seat and plopped himself right next to Hinata, much to the annoyance of everyone else. There were other various men sitting at the table, none of which Hinata recognised (well, apart from Kenma and Yaku).

      “Hey. You can’t just invite new fish to our table,” one rowdy-looking male insisted. “He’s not one of us.”

      “He is now. Hinata Shouyou, guys.”

      “Wasn’t he with Wakunan?” A dark-skinned man raised his eyebrow at Kuroo. Hinata was wishing that he knew their names, but he didn’t.

      “Not anymore. Come on guys, didn’t we leave all that gang shit behind?”

      “ _You_ did,” the rowdy male pointed out. “We’re still Nekoma. We put our blood into this gang, so we’re not pulling out. Our blood runs _red_ , not pink,” he added, sneering at Hinata. He was receiving similar glares and reactions from everyone else at the table — although, it was understandable. Wakunan was responsible for the death of one of the Nekoma gang members. If anything, Hinata was surprised that no-one had made an attempt on his life yet.

      “I—I’ll go!” Hinata hopped up, forgetting to take the tray with him. Although, he didn’t _want_ the tray anymore. He’d rather starve than eat that slop they dared to call ‘food’. He thought that airplane food was bad, but _prison_ food was something else entirely.

      “Wait, Hinata—” The volleyball ace sprinted away from the table before Kuroo could make a physical attempt to stop him. Hinata could hear Kuroo scolding his table for being rude to Hinata, but he didn’t care. All he was focused on was getting out.

      “Ooh, _Hinata_.” Tendou was standing at the exit of the cafeteria, ogling Hinata with his downturned eyes. He usually looked sleepy, but right now, he looked like he was _living_. “You’re not allowed to leave, but if you need _help_ with something, I’m more than willing—”

      “Tendou.” Ushijima stepped in, his face just as stoic as usual. “You’re meant to be monitoring the people in the electrical department. Your lunch shift’s tomorrow.”

      “Ahh! Don’t tell the boss, Ushiwaka!” Tendou sprinted away, but not before turning around and winking at Hinata. With Tendou gone, Hinata looked up at the dark-haired man who had turned up. Hinata looked at his nametag, surprised when he saw that it read Ushijima.

      “Why did he call you Ushiwaka if your name’s Ushijima?”

      The man didn’t respond to Hinata’s question. “Sit down, inmate.”

      “I need to go.” Hinata tried to move past the large man, but he was too _large_ to move past.

      “Sit down, inmate.”

      “I’m _not_ an inmate!” Out of nowhere, Hinata stepped, ran up to the man and did a vertical leap, elevating himself above the much taller man. Hinata’s jump had always been pretty impressive, but over the years, he’d learnt how to jump higher and higher. Ushijima appeared surprised by the orange-haired man’s sudden jump, although he didn’t speak. When Hinata landed on his feet again, he realised that the whole cafeteria had gone quiet. They were all staring at him. So, he took the opportunity to make himself known. “I’m Hinata Shouyou, and I’m from the concrete.”

      “Inmate. Sit down.”

      _He wasn’t even fazed by that?_ Hinata thought, angrily stomping away from the dark haired C.O. _Well, at least he’s not Tendou_. It was then that he bumped into someone else once again. It was the same dark-haired man from earlier, the six-foot one with the really scary scowl.

      “Ah! It’s you!”

      “Sit down, you bloody idiot.” He tugged Hinata over to a nearby table, forcing him down before moving to sit opposite Hinata. “I want to have a quiet lunch. I can’t do that if you’re jumping around like you’re Spiderman.” Hinata looked around the new table he’d been placed on. Suga was sitting next to Daichi. The scowling man had his two henchmen sitting on either side of him, just as intimidating as usual. His table was in the centre of the room, right next to Nekoma’s.

      “S…Sorry.”

      “Hey, don’t be so mean to him,” Suga scolded, wagging his finger at the scowling man. “He just got here. Give him a break.”

      “Whatever,” the scowling man said before taking a mouthful of his dinner. Hinata noticed that everyone on this table had dinner trays which appeared a _lot_ more appetising than the one he’d been given. Their rice looked feather-soft, there was no slop to be seen and they had _two_ milk cartons each, rather than one. They all had small portions of meat.

      “Hey, guys! Let’s all introduce ourselves to Hinata,” Suga said, now sounding quite enthusiastic. “I already introduced myself to him, so you go first, Leader.”

      The dark-haired man simply grunted and slurped at his milk. Hinata almost shrieked in fear when he noticed how the man _strangled_ the milk carton, sucking up every last bit of its contents.

      “He’s a tsundere, don’t you worry, Hinata. That’s Kageyama,” Suga explained. “Guy to the left is Kindaichi, guy to his left is Kunimi.”

      “K…Kageyama…” Hinata’s eyes widened. “So, you’re the King.” At the mention of the nickname, everyone on the table stopped eating. They stared at Hinata. But the scariest part was Kageyama. For the first time since starting on his dinner, he looked up to face Hinata.

      “Idiot,” Kunimi muttered. “Actual fucking _idiot_.”

      “King, huh?” Kageyama smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was _scary_.

      “Yeah! You know, the one who rules the prison, the one who leads everyone—” Kageyama grabbed a milk carton from his tray and launched it at Hinata. The moment it hit his face, it burst, the force of it pushing Hinata back and right off his seat. He had milk running up his nose, dripping into his mouth and even in his _eyes_. On top of that, his face was stinging really, _really_ bad.

      “Oi!” Even though Hinata couldn’t see yet, he knew that it was a C.O. rushing towards the table. “I’m giving you a shot for that—”

      “Kiss my ass,” Kageyama responded coolly.

      “Mind your language, inmate.” Hinata managed to force his eyes open at last, despite the incessant stinging. Everyone at the table was wearing expressions of shock. Hinata’s guess was that Kageyama didn’t usually react so… _violently_.

      “Tobio…” Sugawara couldn’t say anything to lift the dark-haired man’s mood. Hinata’s thoughtless remark had rubbed Kageyama the wrong way. Most days, he could handle the odd ‘King’ but today wasn’t one of those days. Everything about the volleyball ace irritated Kageyama. The way he was smiling, the way he was so stupid it _hurt_ … it irritated him.

      “Get up. You need to cool off, inmate.” Kageyama stood up, not bothering to protest the decision. Ukai put a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder and escorted him out of the cafeteria. Everyone’s eyes were on Kageyama. His two minions didn’t step in to save him, nor did Suga try to defend him. But, Hinata knew very well that the mood in the entire cafeteria had just changed. He also knew that the entire table probably _hated_ him at this point.

      “You,” Kindaichi eventually said, pointing his finger at Hinata. “Don’t sit here again.” Nobody stepped in to defend the decision. He could feel everyone staring at him. Some people were even laughing. Hinata was still on the ground, covered in milk. It was taking everything he had not to burst into tears.

      “Sorry,” he mumbled, getting to his feet and running out of the cafeteria. This time, nobody was there to stop him. He had milk dripping on the ground as he ran towards the first empty room he saw, an empty storage room. He shut himself in there, breathing heavily as he tried to gather his bearings. In and out, in and out. His breathing was speeding up against his will, getting faster and faster. His breath was running away from him, but when he tried to catch up to it, it only seemed to get further and further away.

      Why was he here?

      The only thing he’d ever done was walk down the wrong street at the wrong time. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and put him into this situation.

      Now, he’s in a prison where everyone hates him.

      They loathe him.

      Hinata can’t stop breathing. He doesn’t need the oxygen anymore, he knows that. But he’s trying to keep it in his body before it bursts out and leaves him a lifeless corpse. He can’t live if he hasn’t got oxygen. He’s got a lot of oxygen right now, but he’s still feeling so breathless.

      It brings him back to the time he broke up with Takeru. The yelling matches, the punching and the screaming. Takeru didn’t want to let Hinata go. The orange-haired boy had ended up having to move out of his house and into his university campus just to escape Takeru. But, he should’ve known that Takeru would find him.

      Takeru would destroy him.

      Takeru had him cornered now, in a place like this.

      He’s here. He’s waiting for Hinata, isn’t he? Takeru’s waiting. Takeru. Takeru. Takeru.


	6. When Tsunderes Become Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I said I'll protect you, but we're not friends."

      “Hey. Breathe.” Hinata’s eyes snapped open, his breathing reaching record speeds when he saw who it was in front of him. _Kageyama_. For once, he wasn’t scowling. “Come on. Breathe with me.” Hinata became even more nervous when Kageyama grabbed him by the hands.

      “Ah…ah…” Hinata was trying to back up against the wall, even though he was very much backed up against it. He would’ve spoken, but he felt like he’d pass out any second.

      “Breathe!” Kageyama commanded. At that moment, Hinata’s fear of Kageyama defeated his fear of his breath running away from him. The orange-haired man took in a deep breath as Kageyama had told him to. “Now, release.” He exhaled. Weirdly enough, he could feel the stress beginning to roll out through his lips as he kept the breathing pattern going. Kageyama spent a few minutes instructing Hinata until his breathing had calmed down once again. Hinata slid onto the ground, clutching his knees to his chest.

      “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking up at Kageyama. “I… I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Hinata really was a special type of stupid. Only _he_ could piss off the most important guy in the prison, right? Maybe Kageyama’s planning to shank him. _They’re in a quiet place after all_. But, the look in Kageyama’s eyes didn’t appear to be scheming. Those eyes of his were still blank; both his hands were in view. He wasn’t holding anything.

      “No. I shouldn’t have thrown that milk at you.” Kageyama sighed. “Noya’s going to be so pissed when he finds out I threw his milk carton.”

      “I’m sorry.” Hinata had come to the conclusion that Kageyama wasn’t planning to kill him, at least not today. _But that doesn’t mean he can let his guard down_.

      “Stop apologising, idiot.”

      “Oh. I’m sorry.” Hinata’s face went bright red once he realised that he’d just said yet _another_ apology. However, Kageyama didn’t yell at him. He instead crouched down onto the floor so that he could look directly into the orange-haired man’s eyes.

      “I don’t like being called King,” Kageyama eventually explained, his voice quiet. “It was what they called me on the outside, back when I was the leader of Karasuno. Every time I hear that name, it reminds me of what could’ve been. I got too cocky, and I fell. The entire team fell. I was getting connected to all sorts of crimes; crimes that I’d forgotten I’d committed in the first place. They were desperate to take me down, even for little things like parking and illegal streaming. People were coming forwards; submitting evidence; crushing me. I thought I was indestructible. But, I fell harder than anyone else. I ended up with fifty years. I’ve served seven of those years so far.”

      “W…Why are you telling me this?” Hinata had been under the impression that Kageyama couldn’t _stand_ him. After all, whenever he’d seen Kageyama around the prison, the dark-haired man had been wearing a glare and a scowl on his face. But now, he seemed _gentle_. He looked like the kind of guy you’d see feeding random cats on the street.

      “Because I hate you.” _Oh_.

      Hinata knew best not to argue the point. “Well… I don’t hate you.”

      “Why? Everyone else does.”

      “Eh?” Hinata was _shocked_. Kageyama had been surrounded by all sorts of people at that table. He had his own henchmen. He got special treatment, special _everything_. Extra milk cartons, meat, his own dorm. How could everyone hate him?

      “I was really bad on the outside,” Kageyama explained. “I used people. Some people in here are here because of me. I forced them to commit crimes they didn’t want to commit. People with kids on the outside are here because of me.”

      “I’m here because I was involved in an armed robbery,” Hinata quietly admitted, his eyes beginning to water. “A man died. Take— I mean, the boss, shot him dead. I didn’t know. I was just there to act as a decoy. It wasn’t the only thing I did… but, I got caught for it. So, I’m here.”

      “I’ve killed so many people I’ve lost count.” Kageyama’s hands drifted over to a mini broom. He picked it up, turned it about in his hands. “I was a sniper. Known for my precision. I killed politicians, celebrities, normal Joes on the street… anyone, really. I’m pretty fucked.”

      “You don’t regret it?”

      “I stopped caring after a while.” Kageyama stretched his legs out, letting out a deep yawn. “I wouldn’t do it again if I had the chance to turn back time, but I wouldn’t regret it either.”

      “Ah.” Hinata stretched his legs out too, allowing them to overlap Kageyama’s legs.

      “Oi, don’t do that. Idiot.” Kageyama pulled his legs back, shooting a glare over at Hinata. Hinata wasn’t as intimidated by Kageyama now that he’d seen a more gentle side to him. In fact, Kageyama didn’t seem too bad. He had the hardened cold eyes of a criminal, but at the same time, they could melt. Blue as the sea, flecks of bright blue that reflected some sort of joy he’d once had. “You can sit with us if you want,” Kageyama eventually said.

      “But… they hate me. I got you shots.”

      “It’s alright. I didn’t have any shots before then,” Kageyama admitted. “It’s five shots for the SHU, so I’ll be fine. As long as you don’t show me up, dumbass.”

      “What’s the SHU?”

      “It’s where you’ll end up if you argue with C.Os the way you are right now.” He grabbed some nearby tissue and began to wipe the milk away from Hinata’s face. “Stick with me, alright? I’ll protect you.”

      “But you hate me.”

      “You know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Seemingly satisfied with the work he’d done on Hinata’s face, he tossed the tissue paper to one side and got up onto his feet. “Now, Hinata. You know about me. I want to know about you now. What gang did you belong to?”

      “How do you know I belonged to one?”

      “Haven’t you noticed? Fukurodani is exclusively for inmates that are in for gang-related issues. So, everyone tends to stay with their own gangs. It can get a bit jumbled up sometimes though,” Kageyama explained. "You won't see someone in here if they weren't part of a gang at some point."

      “Oh…” Hinata nodded, although he still didn’t fully understand what Kageyama meant. “I used to be with Wakunan.”

      “Wakunan?” Kageyama wrinkled his nose. “You dug yourself into a grave. Everyone down here _hates_ Wakunan. The only gang that’s worse than Wakunan is Johzenji, and that’s because they’re all rapists.” Hinata didn’t like the idea of being ranked in the same place as a bunch of rapists, he really didn’t.

      Hinata slowly got up onto his feet, shaking stray droplets of milk out of his hair. Then, he looked up at Kageyama. The only source of light in the room was the dingy lightbulb which hung above the two of them. “Do you hate Wakunan?”

      “I don’t care for them. They use underhanded tactics.”

      “Wait, wait. I left Wakunan. I left them _years_ ago. I’m not a gang member anymore, I’m good—”

      “Blood in, blood out.” Kageyama leaned against the door, his foot propped up against the rustic metal. “Once you join a gang, you’re _always_ part of that gang. Just like how I’m always going to be the leader of Karasuno.”

      “But nobody from Wakunan is here!” Hinata was sure of that. He’d asked multiple people and he’d looked around the cafeteria. There was no Takeru, no Wakunan gang members. They were all gone. “Where will I go? Nekoma don’t want me, your table doesn’t want me—”

      “I already told you, idiot. I’ll protect you.”

      “Why?”

      “I don’t feel like someone like you belongs here,” he said bluntly. Hinata felt slightly offended — it’s not like he was some helpless little sheep, after all — but he didn’t protest the point. He knew that Kageyama had more power in his pinkie than Hinata had ever had in his entire life. “You’re surrounded by killers like me and rapists like the Johzenji. Why are you here, Hinata? Why in a prison like this? Why did you join a gang? You get scared so easily… how could you get yourself into a situation like this?”

      “I do _not_ get scared easily!” Hinata stomped his foot in indignation. “I could easily scare _you_ , Bakageyama.” Kageyama’s jaw tightened at the nickname, but he didn’t make a move to hurt the smaller man.

      “Every time I see you, you look at me as if you’re a lost puppy,” he pointed out. “I’m pretty sure you shrieked when I looked up at you. It’s clear that you’re intimidated by me.”

      “S…Shut up. Idiot Kageyama. I’m not scared of you. You’re just a milk-thrower.”

      “You seem to be forgetting the sniper part, Hinata.” The older man smirked. Hinata couldn’t help but find himself intrigued by the sight of Kageyama _smirking_. Strangely enough, it suited his face well. The coldness seemed to melt away from his eyes, a slight glimpse into the person that Kageyama had once been before ending up in Fukurodani.

      “Well… I’m a decoy! An ultimate decoy!”

      “That makes us the perfect pair then, doesn’t it?”

      “Don’t you hate me?!”

      “Shut up, idiot.”

      “Hello! I asked you a question! Do! You! Hate! Me?!”

      “Stop yelling!”

      Just to be obnoxious, Hinata started yelling even louder. Kageyama pushed the orange-haired male up against the wall and slammed his hand against his lips, silencing any further protests that he might’ve had. Hinata was shocked, so shocked that he forgot to consider the possibility that Kageyama could’ve just killed him. _It’s easy enough, right? Just get a knife, stuff it in his gut and it’s over_. He was just thinking about how cold Kageyama’s hand felt against his lips; thinking about how close Kageyama was to him.

      “You’re alright,” Kageyama eventually said after a suitable pause. “Happy?”

      “Mmm!” Kageyama was slightly taken aback by how _cheerful_ the man looked. He’d just told Hinata about his sniping escapades and how much of a fucked-up person he was, but Hinata didn’t seem too bothered. In fact, Hinata had been pretty excited to meet the King (no, stop calling him King — it’s Kageyama!) and as it turns out, he didn’t disappoint.

      Kageyama removed his hand from Hinata’s lips. Hinata was slightly taken aback when he realised that Kageyama was blushing. He’d seemed so _cold_ at first, so cold that Hinata had assumed that he was incapable of blushing.

      “Oi, Hinata. How many months do you have?”

      “Months? Uh…” Hinata began to count on his fingers, muttering to himself for a few moments before returning his attention back to Kageyama at last. “Well, there’s eleven months in a year.”

      “There’s twelve.”

      “No. There’s January, February, March, April, May, June, August, September, October—”

      “You forgot July!”

      “July sucks! It doesn’t deserve to be a month!”

      “Such an _idiot_ ,” Kageyama muttered, slapping his own forehead. “Jesus Christ. So, you have twelve months?”

      “Um… twelve times fifteen is… I don’t know. It’s a big number. Kageyama, why do I have to say it in months? Years is easier! Months just reminds me that I’m here for longer and longer than I want to be…” Hinata was beginning to feel sad again. _He’ll be so old when he makes it out. What if he just ages all of a sudden and goes from looking like a child to someone who’s standing at their own deathbed?_ Then again, that’s if he manages to make it out in one piece. “But, I can’t complain. You have forty-three years…”

      “I deserve it. Don’t feel sorry for me. I can handle myself in here. But you… it’s your first day and you’ve already pissed off a lot of people,” he said, his tone of voice progressively darkening as he muttered, “including me.”

      Hinata didn’t even seem to be fazed by Kageyama this time around, since he simply looked up with that same sunny look in his eyes, tapping his fingers against his palm as he said, “Hey, Kageyama.”

      “What?”

      “Earlier, when you were talking about keeping your enemies closer… do you consider everyone an enemy?”

      “Well, I only have two people who I can call friends,” Kageyama admitted. His facial expression wasn’t revealing anything. “At least, in the true sense of the word. I’ve got my teammates, but I’ve been pretty distant from them lately. I feel guilty about what I did to them. I don’t deserve friends, not really.”

      “That’s in the past, Kageyama. All I care about is the man I’m looking at right now!” Hinata slapped Kageyama’s shoulder, startling the dark-haired man. “I want to be your friend!”

      “No.”

      “Ehh?” Hinata hadn’t been expecting Kageyama to shoot him down so quickly. He was meant to accept and then they were meant to sit together at lunch and eat yoghurt and Hinata could teach Kageyama about volleyball. But, Kageyama seemed just as closed off as ever.

      “I said I’ll protect you, but we’re not friends.”

      “So confusing!” Hinata growled. “Make up your mind! I’m not weak, so I don’t need to be protected by you!” The last person that had offered to protect Hinata was Takeru. Hinata couldn’t help but wonder why murderers were so interested in him. _And to some extent, why he was so interested in murderers_. It was as if his sexual orientation just happened to be one that Tumblr was yet to discover.

      “For a volleyball player, I would’ve thought that you’d be a bit more muscular,” Kageyama said, lifting up one of Hinata’s arms. Hinata’s arm was smooth and pale, devoid of any hair or branding typical of a Wakunan gang member. Most of their members had tattoos. “They don’t seem that muscular…”

      “Shut up! You’re no bodybuilder either, stupid Kageyama!” He pulled his arm out of Kageyama’s grasp. The sniper simply shrugged, hands flopping down to his sides as he looked up at the dingy lightbulb.

      “I’m a sniper, not a sportsman.”

      “And I’m a spiker, not a strong guy!”

      “Aren’t spikers meant to be strong?” Kageyama narrowed his eyes in thought as he turned his attention to Hinata, who was childishly pouting. “I don’t know much about volleyball, but I’m pretty sure that strength is a necessity.”

      “I _am_ strong!”

      “You just said you’re not strong.”

      “Well, I am! You’re just jealous! Idiot!”

      “You fell over after being hit with a milk carton.”

      Hinata stomped his foot in annoyance. “You know what? I don’t want to be friends with you anyway! You’re just mean! Mean!” Hinata pushed past Kageyama and opened the door, intending to leave, but he was yanked back into the room by the older man.

      “You really need to grow up if you’re going to be in a place like this,” Kageyama quietly informed Hinata, who was still grumbling and muttering under his breath. “Before you go, just remember one thing: stay clear of the Johzenji. I don’t want someone like you getting caught up with them.” Everyone keeps warning him about the Johzenji. Why? He knows already, but people keep telling him over and over again.

      “Why do you care?”

      “Like I said. You’re alright, Hinata.” Kageyama walked out of the storage room, Hinata following behind him. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go and grab myself another milk carton. I better see you at my table tomorrow, Hinata. And for God’s sake, don’t cause any more fucking trouble.”

      “Don’t tell me what to…” Hinata drifted off when he saw that Kageyama was determinedly stomping off in the direction of the cafeteria. Soon, the tall figure had disappeared, leaving Hinata standing on his own once again. Letting out a deep sigh, he walked back over to his room, intending to take a nap. It was the only thing he could do right now. The prison knew him, hated him and his face was still stinging from the milk carton. Kageyama’s throw had made the milk carton feel more like a moderately-sized rock flying straight at his face. _God, Kageyama_. Hinata was already irritated by the sniper. He was so _demanding_. He'd just directed a bunch of instructions at Hinata and walked off without letting Hinata finish. He hated being told what to do, he really did.

      Hinata glared down at the floor as he shuffled through the corridors. Chances were that his nose would have a bruise on it come next morning, thanks to Kageyama and his temper. Hinata growled to himself. “Damn you, Kageyama.”


	7. Less Than Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tendou shows his true colours.  
> (TW: There's a rape scene in this chapter. If you don't want to read it, you can skip this chapter. It's not graphic, I promise (although it does focus on Hinata's emotions a lot). If you're okay with reading it, then skip this and start reading the chapter. If you don't want to read this chapter, just read the short summary down below and go to the next chapter.)
> 
> Hinata gets thrown in the SHU by Tendou after refusing to get up for count and Kageyama gets worried about him since two weeks have passed since he last saw him. Upon asking Kuroo, Kageyama finds out what happened, realising that Hinata's nothing like the rest of Wakunan, and he gets pissed at the idea of Hinata "giving up".  
> Chapter ends as follows (talking about Kageyama):  
> He was alone in this room, this room that was bigger than all the others in the entire prison. That was one of his privileges as Kageyama, the leader of Karasuno. Leaders were meant to be adored, but he was feared. The only man who didn’t seem to fear him was Hinata. And he’d vanished. It was then that Kageyama decided: he’d find Hinata Shouyou, no matter what. And he’d save him.

      Hinata’s first night was horrible. He was blubbering in his sleep, clutching his shapeless pillow like it was the last thing he’d ever hold. He’d gotten so used to holding Yachi’s slim body close as the two of them fell asleep, but now he didn’t have that. He couldn’t slick away those blonde strands in the morning. He couldn’t kiss her; he couldn’t touch her. All he could do was think about her, knowing damn well that he’d never get the chance to love her again.

      “It’s count time, count time,” the officer yelled out over the speaker system. Hinata sat up, but he didn’t move. He didn’t want to. He was tired. It was just morning, not even twenty-four hours since he’d first arrived, but he wasn’t in the mood. Everyone hated him because he’d been with Wakunan. There weren’t any volleyball courts. He’d lost his fiancée and he’d lost his team. He couldn’t help but wonder how Bokuto and Akaashi were doing.

      “Hey, Shouyou.” Kenma had climbed up the bunk stairs, waving a hand over at the orange-haired male. “You have to get down for count.”

      “No.”

      A spark of fear lit up in Kenma’s eyes. “You have to,” he urged. “You’ll end up in the hole if you don’t.”

      “I think that’s the best place for me right now.” Hinata was too scared to go to the cafeteria. He hated the idea of being hated. On the outside, while people had found him annoying at times, he was still loved by his fans, teammates and family. But now, he was surrounded by people that could probably kill him if he went too far. And he had no-one to protect him except the ever-mysterious Kageyama. But Hinata wasn’t sure if he should trust Kageyama. _What if he turns out to be like Takeru?_

      “Oi oi oi, what’s going on here?” Kuroo approached the opposite bunk, where Hinata was vehemently refusing to get out of his bed.

      “Nothing,” Hinata muttered. “You can all line up.”

      “Hey, don’t be—” The door burst open, cutting Kuroo off mid-sentence. Tendou burst in, his eyes darting around all over the room. His eyes lingered on Hinata’s half-asleep form for a few moments too long. Then, he looked over at the rest of them. Yaku was standing diligently, his head held at a normal height. Kuroo had done his best to make his bed, although it still looked like the work of a four-year-old. Kenma had clambered back down and was now standing up, looking over at Tendou. But Hinata wasn’t moving.

      “Hey, four-inches. Why isn’t _Hinata-kun_ moving from his bunk?” Judging from Kenma’s flushed cheeks, Tendou was probably addressing him.

      “I don’t know,” he quietly responded.

      “What about you, seven-inches?”

      “Actually, I’m seven-point-seven,” Kuroo responded, a mischievous grin on his face. “Your guessing’s off today, Tendou-san.”

      “No, I was talking to him.” Everyone turned to face Yaku, who had gone bright red.

      “I… uhh… I don’t know…” He looked uncomfortable.

      “Alright. I’ll ask the man himself,” Tendou said, turning around to face Hinata. “Why don’t you want to get up, Hinata-kun?”

      “F—F—Fuck off,” Hinata forcefully spat out, trying to make the curse sound as strong as possible.

      “Alright then.” Tendou walked out of the room, but the four roomies could hear him yelling some commands down the hall. “Hey, Wakatoshi! We got a resister! Let’s take him down!”

      Tendou and Ushijima walked back into the room, headed straight towards the bunks. The bunks were purposely made to be low so that inmates could simply be _dragged_ out of their beds whenever the time called for it. And right now, Tendou and Ushijima were dragging him out.

      “Let me go!”

      “Oh, Hinata-kun. I’ll fuck off, that’s for sure. But you’re fucking off with me.” Tendou _accidentally_ slipped and let Hinata’s head whack off against the door. Next thing he knew, everything went dark.

***

      Hinata wasn’t sure how many days he spent in the hole, but he could feel himself beginning to lose touch with himself. He could’ve sworn that some days, they forgot to feed him. It didn’t matter though; he wasn’t going to eat what they gave him. He was _sure_ that he’d seen mould growing on some of that stuff; he was _sure_ that he didn’t want to catch a disease. Maybe they were going to poison him and leave him to rot in there. He couldn’t trust anyone in this place. It was okay, though. He was able to block out his hunger pangs.

      Finally, the metal door slammed open. He saw the red-haired C.O. standing there with a smug grin on his face.

      “Hi, _Hinata-kun_.” Hinata was too drained to move. He would’ve stood up, but the muscles in his legs weren’t working. He hadn’t spoken; he hadn’t moved. He’d just remained in the same spot he’d been tossed into, blinking and breathing. He felt more like a robot that had been programmed to do those things, rather than an actual human. “Feeling tired?”

      Hinata didn’t respond.

      “I’m here to wake you up a little,” he said, stepping into the confined space. “For the small fee of four-thousand yen, I’m being permitted to do whatever I see fit with you.” Hinata knew what was going to happen. While he was oblivious to most things, he wasn’t oblivious to this. He didn’t miss the way Tendou was ogling him, nor did he miss the very obvious bulge in his slacks. But, he was tired. Too tired.

      The door slammed shut.

      “Why?” Hinata whispered to himself. He wanted to cry, but he’d gone so long without water that he didn’t feel like he had any tears left to cry. His only crime had been refusing to get up for count. His only crime had been walking down the streets at night and meeting Takeru. His only crime had been loving volleyball. And in Fukurodani, each crime faces punishment.

      _Why is he staring at me like that_ , Hinata thought, trying to back himself up against the wall. His muscles were beginning to work now. It was slight, but they were working. After days of inactivity, it felt impossible to escape him.

      _Why is he doing that? Why is he making me do this?_

      “N—No…”

      Hinata could hear the sound of doors slamming in the distance. He guessed that it was night time. The bed-bugs usually come out at night, don’t they? Well… Hinata’s lucky he doesn’t have a bed. The bed-bugs can’t get him that way. But Tendou can.

      Clothes rustling, heavy grunting. The room feels more like a cage than anything else, Hinata thought. No matter where he moves, he can’t escape. It’s small, compact. And Tendou won’t stop touching him.

      “I don’t want this…” His throat was dry, his voice kept cracking. He wanted to think about everything _but_ what was happening to him right now. He wondered if Yachi was doing alright. He was wondering if anyone was looking for him; if anyone remembered him. He was wondering about the team. Their match against China was meant to be in a couple of weeks, although Hinata wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the hole for.

      Hinata could hear Tendou behind him, breathing the name “Wakatoshi”. Again, again and again. Hinata felt numb. His body felt like it was on fire, an unpleasant fire, but his brain was blocking everything out. He wanted to sleep. He hadn’t slept in a long time. He was scared, scared of the people in this place. He was scared of the man behind him. It was easy to act tough and pretend that he wasn’t scared, but he _was_. He was terrified.

      “Stop,” Hinata whimpered once again, trying to pull himself out of Tendou’s grasp. But the seasoned C.O. was easily able to stop the orange-haired man from struggling, although he wasn’t able to put up much of a fight. He was weak; tired and weak. He didn’t want to feel this way. He didn’t like this; he _doesn’t like this_.

      “You like that, Wakatoshi? I know you do, don’t you?” Again, and again. Hinata’s head thrust up against the wall, again and again. The jagged wall was cutting his face. Hurting him. He knew that Tendou wasn’t listening to him. He was stuck in his head, imagining a little fantasy with his colleague, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

      Hinata wasn’t sure when the red-haired C.O. finally got up and left him alone, but the aching of his body all over was evidence that he’d just been ravaged in the worst way possible. And it had only cost a mere four-thousand yen. In exchange, he’d been left with those painful memories. Memories of Takeru hurting him. Memories of dead bodies, screams and blood, again and again. He was pretty sure he was bleeding, actually. Maybe that’s why his body was burning so badly.

      Hinata knew that he’d be seeing him again.

***

      Meanwhile, Kageyama was pacing about in his room, feeling quite worried. Ever since his meeting with Hinata, he hadn’t seen the little ball of sunny energy. He’d kept a keen eye out for Hinata each day in the cafeteria, but he hadn’t spotted him. He’d eventually made the decision to approach Kuroo, since he’d noticed that Kuroo was also in the same bright orange clothing that Hinata had been wearing.

      “Where’s Hinata?” Kuroo had appeared quite surprised when Kageyama had asked the question, but he didn’t think to ask about why Kageyama was concerned about Hinata’s whereabouts.

      “He was taken to the SHU by Tendou,” Kuroo said.

      “Why?”

      “He refused to get up for count.” Kuroo sighed. “I think he gave up. He’s really different from the other Wakunan members, you know. They would’ve tried to kill the C.Os just for touching them, but Hinata didn’t bother to resist. He let them drag him out of there.” Kageyama was glaring without even realising it. He was angry, _really_ angry.

      “Idiot,” Kageyama muttered, storming away from the confused Kuroo. “Why is he giving up? Why?!” He felt eyes watching him. _Of course_. He was Kageyama, after all. Everyone was scared of him. Out of everyone in the prison, he had the highest body count. He could kill anyone he wanted to. And he would, if he saw it as necessary. If someone was weak, then they didn’t deserve to play on the court of life. As the king of the court, it’s his job to eradicate the weak. _But Hinata’s not weak_ , popped the little voice in his head.

      And now, he was in his room, pacing from side to side. He was pretty sure that two weeks had passed since Hinata had disappeared. _Where is he?_ They didn’t usually put newcomers in the SHU, so why? Hinata’s rich, he could easily bribe his way out of it. _Why?_

      He didn’t have anyone else around him. He was alone in this room, this room that was bigger than all the others in the entire prison. That was one of his privileges as Kageyama, the leader of Karasuno. Leaders were meant to be adored, but he was feared. The only man who didn’t seem to fear him was Hinata. And he’d vanished. It was then that Kageyama decided: he’d find Hinata Shouyou, no matter what. And he’d save him.


	8. The Day That Never Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama pledges to do his best to protect Hinata.  
> (Yes, the chapter title is a Metallica reference. I was listening to Death Magnetic while writing this chapter and 'The Day That Never Comes' started playing. It reminded me of Hinata's situation, so that's why it's the title. Hehe. *salutes Metallica*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Day That Never Comes (You can skip the lyrics down below if you want and go straight to the story, but it basically summarises the mood in this chapter):  
> Born to push you around  
> Better just stay down  
> You pull away  
> He hits the flesh  
> You hit the ground
> 
> Mouth so full of lies  
> Tend to black your eyes  
> Just keep them closed  
> Keep praying  
> Just keep waiting
> 
> Waiting for the one  
> The day that never comes  
> When you stand up and feel the warmth  
> But the sunshine never comes  
> No, the sunshine never comes
> 
> Push you 'cross that line  
> Just stay down this time  
> Hide in yourself  
> Crawl in yourself  
> You’ll have your time
> 
> God, I’ll make them pay  
> Take it back one day  
> I’ll end this day  
> I’ll splatter color on this gray
> 
> Waiting for the one  
> The day that never comes  
> When you stand up and feel the warmth  
> But the sunshine never comes
> 
> Love is a four letter word  
> And never spoken here  
> Love is a four letter word  
> Here in this prison
> 
> I suffer this no longer  
> I’ll put an end to this, I swear  
> This, I swear  
> The Sun will shine  
> This, I swear  
> This, I swear  
> This, I swear!

      When Hinata finally saw daylight again, he was unable to walk on his own. He had to be taken straight to the medical area in the prison. He’d been discovered lying on the floor by C.O. Ukai, who had decided to open the door to Hinata’s cell after hearing strange noises coming from there. Hinata had been lying there, stripped entirely of the clothes on his lower half. His once porcelain skin was now covered with red blemishes and bruises. Ukai had tried to get the orange-haired man to talk, but his lips had been sealed shut.

      “Oi, Sensei. You here?”

      “Ah, Ukai-kun!” A peppy-looking man came into view, holding a cheese sandwich in his hand. “I’m on lunch break. What do you need…” He dropped his sandwich when he saw Hinata. Ukai had managed to get a towel to cover his essentials with, but nothing could be done for the broken look in Hinata’s eyes.

      “I found him in SHU. He’d been left in one of the old rooms. You know, the ones we’re not meant to use for inmates anymore…”

      “Are there any… injuries?”

      “T…There are, but I think his mental health’s taken quite a toll too.”

      “How long was he in there for? Were the higher-ups informed about this? Wait, look at his shirt, it’s bright orange. He’s new. Why would he be put in the SHU?”

      “Sensei, I think we should sort him out first before we ask questions.”

      “Ah, you’re right.” The dark-haired man rushed towards the closest bed and pulled the sheets back. Then, he went towards Hinata and led the small man over to the bed, lying him down with the utmost care. He turned to Ukai, who still looked quite troubled. “In my office, there’s some spare trousers and underwear. Bring them over, please. They’re in a box with ‘Spare Clothes’ written on them.”

      “Alright.” Ukai rushed over to the office, leaving Hinata alone with the doctor. The nametag on his shirt read _Takeda Ittetsu_. Takeda seemed slightly alarmed when he realised that Hinata wasn’t blinking. His eyes were just wide open. His pupils would dart from side to side every now and again, but he wasn’t moving.

      “Ukai-kun is just going to get you some clothes, alright? H—Here, have some water too!” Takeda rushed over and grabbed a nearby water bottle. He poured it out into a plastic cup and handed it to Hinata. However, he didn’t take the water. He didn’t move his hand. “Are you thirsty?” Hinata didn’t respond. He blinked once at the doctor, but he didn’t make any movements.

      “Got them,” Ukai said, rushing back into the room with the clothing in hand. Takeda rushed back over to where he’d placed the water bottle and set the cup of water down. Ukai tossed the bottoms to Takeda, who caught them one-handed. Takeda then placed them on Hinata’s bed.

      “Do you feel up to dressing yourself?” Hinata still wasn’t responding to Takeda. “Can you hear me?”

      “Sensei, I think it might be best if we let him get some rest. He looks pretty tired, don’t you think?”

      “But…”

      “I don’t think he’s up for talking right now. He was left in a freezing-cold cell, he was bleeding and the room didn’t have a futon. Just a toilet in the corner of the room,” Ukai said. He recognised him now. Hinata Shouyou, the man who had thrown a phone up against a wall and broken it. Ukai had written up a shot for him the same day. But now, seeing him like this, he was regretting the way he’d spoken to the orange-haired man. Maybe if he’d done something differently, he wouldn’t have ended up in the SHU. _If only…_

      “Okay. I’ll run down to the kitchen and see if they can make something for him. Ukai-kun, please go and ask his roommates if they know anything about what might have happened to him in there. It’ll allow me to treat him more effectively,” he explained. Ukai nodded and turned on his heel to leave, but he stopped in his tracks just seconds later.

      “Wakatoshi…” Hinata whispered, his voice nothing like it had been when he first arrived. It had been lively, but now it was _dead_. Husky and dead, nothing like it had been before. It was as if he’d just aged twenty years.

      “Wakatoshi?” Ukai rushed back to Hinata’s still body, his eyes widened in shock. “Did he do this to you?”

      “Wakatoshi,” Hinata repeated, incapable of saying much else. He’d protested and screamed so many times that he just couldn’t speak anymore. He didn’t see the point. And right now, that was the only word he could hear in his mind clearly. Tendou’s strangled gasps of “Wakatoshi” floated about in Hinata’s head, day after day. He didn’t understand. Hinata looked nothing like the stoic C.O.

      He didn’t act like the C.O.

      So, why?

      Ukai and Takeda exchanged worried looks. Ukai was wearing a look of horror, most likely because he’d known Ushijima ever since university. Ushijima had come to work at this prison straight after graduating, whereas Ukai had decided to try and ‘get rich quick’ using an online scheme on his computer. After ending up waist-deep in debt, he’d reluctantly gotten himself a job at the prison as well. He’d only been working here for three months, but he’d realised just how professional Ushijima was when it came to working this job. He couldn’t _imagine_ the quiet C.O. doing something as horrific as this. So, why?

      “Ta…Takeru…” Hinata didn’t want the name in his head. He wanted it to disappear. He wanted the memories to disappear. He wished that he’d fought until the end; he wished that he hadn’t accepted the plea deal; he wished that he’d never met Nakashima Takeru. He wished that he’d just left volleyball alone and focused on his studies like his mother said he should. He wished that he’d listened to people, done what they’d told him. He’d made it through life trying to defy it. And now, it was kicking him all the way back down.

      The two older men didn’t know what to say to Hinata. All they could do was kneel down at his side, watching him until those eyelashes of his fluttered shut. He was finally asleep. There were dark shadows under his eyes and cuts and gashes on both sides of his cheeks. He even had a missing tooth. But, there was nothing that the two men could do about it. All they could do was try to find out the truth and get justice for Japan’s volleyball ace.

***

      “Hinata? Well, he refused to get up for count. So, he got taken to the SHU.” Ukai had taken the initiative to go down to the newcomer's dorm where Hinata had been staying. His bed was still messy. None of the three remaining men had bothered to make it after Hinata had left. And right now, he was questioning Yaku.

      “Who took him to the SHU?”

      “Guess Mon— I mean, C.O. Tendou and C.O. Ushijima.” _Ushijima_. Yaku’s words only confirmed Ukai’s fears. _Ushijima was responsible for Hinata’s injuries_.

      “How long ago was this?”

      “Almost one month ago, I think.”

      “Twenty-seven days,” Kenma quietly interjected from the safety of his bunk. “I remember because it was the same day they served pancakes for breakfast.”

      “So, you’re telling me that he’s been down there for a _month_ for refusing to get up for count.” To say Ukai was horrified would be an understatement. He’d heard a lot of bad things about the prison system, but experiencing them first-hand was a shock.

      “Yes,” Yaku responded. “Why? Is he being taken out?”

      “I’m asking the questions, inmate.”

      “Aw, come on. Don’t be like that. We’re worried about him too,” Kuroo interjected, hopping down from his top bunk. “Is he still in the SHU?”

      “No,” Ukai eventually chose to say. “He’s in medical.”

      “Medical? Oh God,” Kuroo said, rushing towards the door. “I should’ve dragged his stupid ass out of that bed. Fuck. Those sick Johzenji bastards probably got to him, didn’t they? I bet…” Ukai knew very well who the Johzenji were. A gang of rapists and no-gooders who would do what they wanted _when_ they wanted. No matter the consequences.

      “Inmate, language,” Ukai warned.

      “What? They treat us like we’re fucking replaceable in this place. We’re thrown around like toys, beaten and abused and if we’re too broke to afford lawyers, we put up with it. We go through so fucking much. And what did I do? Make a mistake as a teen. I joined a gang. But why am I being punished when I left that in the past? Fuck, I might _look_ like a criminal. But I had a life, alright? Hinata had a life too. You know, he’s an athlete. How’s his body? If he gets fucked up in this place, then he’ll never get a chance to go back into sports. It’s bullshit, alright?” The three men in the room were staring at Kuroo, slightly shocked by his outburst of anger.

      “I didn’t know you cared so much,” Yaku said after a few moments of silence.

      “Well, I see myself in him. A stupid fucking idiot who made some wrong decisions in the past. It just… it makes me angry.” Kuroo walked away from the door and moved to stand by his bunk instead, letting out a deep sigh. It was a sigh which shuddered, a sigh which was full of regrets and sorrow. He was wishing that he’d fought harder to convince Nekoma that Hinata wasn’t like the rest of Wakunan, that he wasn’t as murderous as the rest of them. He could’ve done better.

      “I…I want justice for Hinata too,” Ukai eventually said, pulling on the sleeves of his shirt. “I’ll try.”

      “You’re still a rookie, ain’t ya?” Kuroo shook his head. “You don’t understand. They call it the justice system, but the two are mutually exclusive. There’s nothing _just_ about a system. As long as systems are man-made, there’ll always be some sort of flaw.”

      “O…Oh.” The usually snappy C.O. was now speechless, just like the other two men in the room. They’d never seen Kuroo act so _philosophical_ before. He usually just talked about romance and joked around about stupid things. He’d never been so _serious_ , like he was now.

      “Anyway. If you want answers, try the King. He was going all over the place trying to find out what happened to Hinata,” Kuroo said, kicking his feet up against the wall. “I don’t see why the bastard cares. He threw a milk carton at him in front of everyone. How’s he not in the SHU yet?”

      “It’s the King,” Yaku reminded Kuroo. “You think they’d put him in the SHU? He’s the reason everyone does what they’re told in this place. They throw him in SHU, everyone goes wild because there’s no leader.”

      “I… I’ll go ask him.” Ukai was familiar with the ‘King’. After all, Ukai himself had had to take the dark-haired man out of certain places a couple of times, since he had quite a short temper. If the King were to snap, then it would dampen the mood of the entire prison. It was insane how one person could have so much control over an entire system. He controlled what contraband came in through the kitchens, he controlled how everything was run; he even had control over the exchange rates. One day, a chocolate bar could be worth five packets of noodles and the next, it would be worth a small pack of gum.

      “Wait,” Kuroo said. “What exactly is wrong with Hinata?”

      “That’s what I’m trying to find out.” The tone of Ukai’s voice sent chills going down the spines of the inmates. Ukai turned on his heel and walked out, this time uninterrupted. He was headed straight for the dorm which Kageyama controlled, the King’s Palace.

***

      It took Ukai a long time before he finally located Kageyama. He could usually be found snacking on some Gun Gun Yoghurt in a lonely corner, listening to music with his own MP3 player. When Kageyama spotted the blonde, he removed his earbuds and looked up at him.

      “What.”

      “I’m here about Hinata,” Ukai said. “Do you—”

      “Where is he?”

      Ukai was taken aback by the urgency in his voice. Kageyama even got up onto his feet and clutched the older man’s shoulders. “Please, you need to tell me. Where’s Hinata?”

      “He’s in medical. But you can’t go—” Kageyama was already sprinting away from Ukai, not bothering to let the man finish his sentence. “Oi! Kageyama! Come back here!” It was too late. Kageyama was at full throttle, sprinting for dear life.

      Kageyama was fully focused on making it to Hinata. _Hinata, Hinata, Hinata, where are you? What happened to you? Why did you disappear for so long? Why did you refuse to follow orders? Why are you here? Why did you join Wakunan? Why are you in Medical? Did someone hurt you, Hinata? Did the Johzenji get to you? Why? Why is this happening? Why am I so scared for you, Hinata? I need to know. Give me answers, Hinata_.

      When Kageyama made it into the medical room at last, he froze for a couple of moments. He’d spotted Hinata the second his feet crossed that imaginary line from hallway into medical. He was in a bed, but Kageyama wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. The man looked like he was dead. His chest didn’t appear to be heaving — if it was, the action was very, _very_ slight — and he wasn’t twitching at all. He was a lot more still than he should’ve been. Nothing like the man who had shown off his jumping skills in the cafeteria.

      “Hi…Hinata…” Kageyama rushed towards the man, crouching down at his bedside. “Hinata, Hinata, _Hinata_ …” He clutched Hinata’s hand, relieved when he discovered that it was warm. Kageyama had seen countless dead bodies, but he didn’t want to see this body dead. He wanted Hinata to live. _Live. Live. Live_.

      “Ah, Kageyama-kun. Are you here for your medication?” Takeda had appeared in the room, holding a bottle of water in his hands. “Here, drink this first. I’ll go and grab the Prozac,” he instructed.

      Kageyama couldn’t stop staring at Hinata. _What happened to you, Hinata?_ Kageyama was clutching the smaller man’s hand as hard as he could, hoping that it would bring some life back into him. However, Kageyama didn’t have any life left in him to _give_. All the medication he took helped to numb his obsessive thoughts slightly, but it didn’t change the fact that he was dissatisfied. Unhappy. Lonely. He hated being the way he was, so heartless and cold. But seeing Hinata had changed that. Maybe that was why Kageyama was so focused on keeping him safe, protecting him.

      “I failed you,” Kageyama whispered, laying his head down on Hinata’s frail chest. “I’m sorry, Hinata. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t going to cry. No. Kageyama didn’t cry, not even when he felt as guilty as he did now. People like him didn’t know _how_ to cry. It made Kageyama feel more like a human prototype than an actual human. He could recognise human behaviours, but he couldn’t mimic them properly. He couldn’t smile; he couldn’t laugh; he couldn’t frown. But he’d managed to let out his first genuine laugh after meeting Hinata.

      When Takeda came back into the room, he was taken aback by the sound of Kageyama’s laughter. He was kneeling at Hinata’s bedside, laughing manically. He didn’t want to laugh. He was sad. But, Kageyama was laughing at himself for being such a _fucking idiot_. He knew that people would be keeping an eye on Hinata since he’s such a high-profile player. He _knew_ that. He should’ve insisted on walking Hinata everywhere, even if he _was_ an argumentative little… _thing_. He should’ve done better. But at the end of the day, the only thing he was good at was removing weak players. Not saving them.

      “K—Kageyama-kun, I’ve got your medication—”

      “Do I really fucking need it anymore?” Kageyama was breathing heavily, trying to recover his breath after laughing so hard. “I’m fucked up either way. Maybe I should just let my brain work properly. Blocking out my thoughts won’t do shit.”

      “You can’t stop taking your medication suddenly,” Takeda warned. “Come on, Kageyama-kun. You need to—”

      “No, I don’t _need_ to. Ever since I started taking that shit, I’ve been sweating more than I’d like to. I’m always tired as well. It’s meant to stop my depression, but it doesn’t really _stop_. It’s just bullshit. All of it.” Kageyama stomped towards Takeda and snatched the water bottle out of his hand, avoiding the medication the doctor held in his other hand. “I’m not taking it anymore. Throw it away.”

      “I can’t do that.”

      “Throw it away,” Kageyama repeated. “I won’t take it.”

      “You know as well as I do what happens if you refuse to take medication,” Takeda warned. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, Kageyama-kun.”

      “If I take this medication, I’ll die in here. If I don’t take this medication, I’ll die in here. I’m going to die either way, so why should I give a fuck?”

      Takeda flinched at the venom in Kageyama’s tone. While the man had his moments every now and again, he’d never seen Kageyama looking so disconcerted. Sometimes, Takeda found himself wondering how a man like Kageyama could have been a murderer. But then Kageyama would snap into one of his sudden moods and it would become clear. The dark-haired man had it in him. But, Takeda was still hopeful that Kageyama could become a better man.

      “You’re only thirty. You’ll get out before you turn eighty. You could live to one-hundred, you could—”

      “I could, but I _won’t_.” Kageyama angrily slurped down his water. A surprised _yelp_ was heard from Takeda when Kageyama snatched the medication from Takeda’s outstretched hand, dropping the capsules into his mouth. He swallowed them without tasting them. Then, he crumpled up the little paper cup and threw it into the nearest bin with the most careful precision he could muster. It went in.

      “There.” Kageyama opened his mouth, proving that he’d swallowed the capsules. “All gone, Takeda-sensei.”

      “Alright." Takeda let out a sigh of relief. "Now, off you go—”

      “No. I want to know what happened to Hinata.”

      Takeda was slightly shocked by the younger man’s intensity, but he didn’t question it. “We don’t know what happened yet. He was discovered by Ukai-kun. He was half-naked, bleeding and cold to the bone. He was showing signs of starvation, although he’s been hooked up to this IV here,” Takeda explained, pointing to the IV drip nearby. “There’s signs of misconduct among the staff, although it’s not definite.”

      “Staff? So it wasn’t the Johzenji?” Usually, an event like this would point straight to them. They were known for doing awfully sadistic things to the newcomers, things that Kageyama didn’t even _want_ to think about.

      “No. The SHU is separate from the prison. From what I know, none of the Johzenji are in the SHU,” Takeda said. “I really shouldn’t be telling you this…”

      “Who’s responsible for raising the medical budget, Takeda-sensei?” Kageyama was so influential that he was even granted a seat at the table with the higher-ups. It was unthinkable that a murderer could sit with the warden and discuss plans, but it couldn’t be ignored that Kageyama had a certain intelligence that couldn’t be taught. He was good at coming up with ways and methods to keep the inmates docile and he was also good at keeping people around him in line. That made him irreplaceable.

      “You,” Takeda eventually responded.

      “So, I think I have a right to know what’s happening with the patients. Right, Takeda-sensei?”

      After a pause, Takeda continued to speak. “Staff from here are allowed to go down to the SHU, although the SHU also has their own distinct staff members. There was a possibility that it wasn’t one of ours, but…”

      “But,” Kageyama urged, gesturing for Takeda to finish his sentence.

      “Hinata said two names before falling asleep. Wakatoshi, and Takeru.”

      “Wakatoshi as in Ushijima Wakatoshi, the C.O.?”

      “That’s what we believe, yes.”

      Kageyama’s eyes darkened even further than they had before. In fact, their usual blue had melted into what seemed to be a murky black. He was furious, absolutely furious. “I’ll kill him.” Kageyama turned on his heel. He marched towards the door. “I’ll fucking kill—”

      “Kageyama!” Takeda grabbed the younger man by the arm and forcibly twisted him around, stopping him from going any further.

      “No honorific?” Kageyama raised an eyebrow at the doctor.

      “Sorry. But… you need to stay calm, Kageyama-kun.”

      “Calm?! So, some C.O.’s been throwing around Hinata like a rag doll and I’m meant to stay calm? _Calm_? He could be dead right now, Takeda-sensei. Aren’t you meant to be the doctor? Why don’t you understand, for fuck’s sake? Why? Why?”

      “ _Kageyama_ ,” he snapped. Then, as an afterthought, he added a “Kun” onto the end of his sentence. Takeda let Kageyama’s arm go when he was sure that Kageyama wouldn’t go looking for Ushijima. “I’m worried too. But running around shouting death threats at C.Os isn’t going to help anyone, okay? You know I want to help you, Kageyama-kun.”

      “You seem to be forgetting that I’m a murderer.”

      “You _were_ a murderer. If I judge a man based on his past, how can I ever hope to see that same man have a better future? As long as I see someone as a past version of themselves, I won’t be able to appreciate their growth. You’ve grown a lot in these past seven years, Kageyama-kun. Your mental health’s been steadily improving. You’ve managed to avoid the SHU entirely. You’re doing good. As long as you keep reminding yourself about what you were, you’ll never get to see what you could be. Focus on the future.”

      “But I… I don’t have a future.” Kageyama could feel his anger beginning to simmer down. It was still there, but it wasn’t as explosive. He could hold it back. “It’s not like they give us good jobs in this place. At this point, rehabilitation's just a myth.”

      “Do you remember how happy you were two years ago when you had some time knocked off your sentence for good behaviour? You were originally serving sixty years, but you had ten years knocked off. You’ve got forty-three years left, but you’ll most likely make it out before then. You’re an intelligent man, Kageyama-kun. You could do anything.”

      “Anything?”

      “Anything.”

      Kageyama didn’t believe the doctor, but he decided to swing with it. He nodded and walked back over to Hinata’s bedside, crouching down once again. The idea of a C.O. throwing around the energetic body made Kageyama sick to his stomach. _It’s all because I didn’t protect him_ , he thought.

      “Let me stay here, Takeda-sensei. I want to be here… when he wakes up.” Kageyama had never actually tried to nurture another human being before. He’d never grown up with siblings. Hell, he’d never even known his parents. His mom had died from a brain haemorrhage when Kageyama was just ten years old and his dad was a deadbeat who did nothing but obsess over volleyball. Kageyama still remembered his last meeting with his dad, actually.


	9. When I Was a Young Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Warning: Extreme violence in this chapter!]  
> Kageyama thinks back to his childhood.
> 
> Also, believe it or not, the title actually wasn't meant to be a reference to MCR's 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. I only JUST realised what I'd done when I actually copied this from Word onto here to upload, lmao. Although, now that I look at the lyrics, they fit the story perfectly. I'm making all these references without even realising it half of the time, Jesus H. Christ...
> 
> (In case you'd like to read the lyrics, I put them at the end of this chapter.)

      “Hey, Tobio.” The tall man walked in through the door, wearing a smug grin on his face. “I managed to get some yen for us today. Four-hundred!” He usually went over to a nearby bridge every day and sold volleyball lessons to kids for a hundred yen. Surprisingly enough, the kids didn’t seem to be suspicious of a scruffy-looking guy selling cheap volleyball lessons.

      Tobio himself was in the kitchen, doing the washing. It was often up to him to do all the housework, although there really wasn’t much to do. They lived in a dingy little flat where everything was cramped and there wasn’t much of anything. The fridge was often empty, too.

      “Although, I had to use the money to pay for a guy to drive me home from the bridge. So, I’m going to need you to go out over to that nearby shop and nab a few things for dinner. They never suspect little kids like you. I need my beer as well.” Tobio’s dad, Akihiro, was standing in the same room as Kageyama now. Although, everything was squished into one single room. The bathroom was just a tiny little shower in the corner and a hole in the ground, the kitchen was squashed up along one side, there was a tiny little TV in another corner (although it was broken) and there were two futons laid out nearby. There were also the countless beer bottles littering the ground.

      “It’s Mom’s birthday today,” Tobio whispered to himself.

      “What did you say?” Akihiro suddenly became hostile. Angry, hostile.

      “Mom. It’s her birthday,” he said a little louder. “June 1st.”

      “Don’t you talk about her!” Akihiro pushed the small boy away from the sink. Being weak, he fell to the ground. The sponge in his hand splashed right into his face. There was dirty water dripping down his face as he looked up at his father. His eyes were bloodshot red; his hair was unkempt and messy. It was very obvious that Akihiro was drunk. He’d always been an aggressive drunk. Tobio couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his father sober. Nor could he remember the last time he’d gone to school, let alone made a friend. Tobio was kept in the same old flat, day after day, cleaning up after his father’s mistakes.

      “It’s a year since she died,” Tobio said, clearly not heeding the warning that his father had given him. “Exactly three-hundred and sixty-five days. Dad, why haven’t you visited her grave?”

      “Shut up, you.”

      “You were never able to remember her birthday, were you? She’d buy herself something nice with her own money, only for you to pawn it off a couple of weeks later. Spend it on some beer, smack her about and leave the house to buy more beer. The only thing that’s changed is that she’s dead.” The boy was eerily calm as he spoke. Although his father was technically the one looking down on him, the way Tobio spoke to him made it seem otherwise.

      “I said _shut it_!” Akihiro kicked the small boy. Tobio didn’t show any visible signs of pain at first. He instead tried to play it cool. So, Akihiro kicked him again. The scuffs and scratches on Akihiro’s boots hurt Tobio more than he could’ve imagined. The second kick had him slumped up against a wall, coughing so hard he felt like he’d start coughing up blood any second.

      It wasn’t unusual for Akihiro to do this to Tobio. If he took too long to finish cleaning up the house, he’d get kicked. If he took too long to get Akihiro a beer from the fridge, he’d get slapped. If he _spilt_ a beer, he’d get whipped with one of Akihiro’s belts. If Tobio had been permitted to go to school, it wouldn’t have taken long for someone to realise what was going on at home. With all the bruises that the boy sported, any random person should’ve been able to figure it out.

      But, they didn’t. Tobio knew damn well that there were other people in that flat, people who could see what was happening. People who could probably hear Tobio snuffling at night. Hell, they could be peeking through the windows and still not care enough to do anything. It hurt Tobio, knowing that there were people who could help him but wouldn’t. He wanted to be a normal boy. Whenever he was granted a rare chance to leave the house, he’d see kids playing with each other on the streets. Chasing each other, laughing and joking with one another.

      Today was one of those days. After recovering from the kicks that Akihiro had given him, Tobio took a small plastic bag from the kitchen and made his way out of the flat. He saw the same kids he saw from the window nearly every day. They were running around and joking just as usual. They were all sporting big smiles on their faces, too. Tobio wasn’t sure if he _knew_ how to smile. But, he wanted to try. He wanted a break from the pain he felt, the sadness. He hadn’t been allowed to mourn his mother’s death, let alone visit her grave. He knew where it was. He just couldn’t get there. It was too far.

      “Hey! You going to keep staring, or do you want to join in?” A grey-haired kid was waving over at Tobio, wearing a cheeky grin on his face.

      “Suga! Don’t be so rude,” a dark-haired guy scolded, slapping Suga on the back. “I’m sorry about him,” he added, returning his gaze to Tobio.

      “I… I want to play,” Tobio said, hobbling towards the two kids. “My… my name’s Kageyama Tobio, but I like to be called just Tobio.” He didn’t like the name Kageyama. It reminded him of his father, his utterly spiteful father. His mother’s family name had been Chigusa. Chigusa Akane. While his mother and father had lived together, the two of them had never actually gotten married. They were more or less anchored together because of Tobio, their child.

      “Alright, Just Tobio! I’m Sugawara, but everyone calls me Suga. And that’s Dai-chan, but only I can call him that.”

      “No, you can’t. I don’t like you calling me that,” he insisted, narrowing his eyes at the grey-haired boy. “It’s _Daichi_.”

      “Dai-chan.”

      “Daichi.”

      “Dai-chan~”

      “Daichi!”

      “Thighchi.” Suga grinned devilishly. “Let’s run to the end of the street and back! Last one’s a grilled duck!” Before the two boys could react, Suga began to sprint down the street like an ostrich on steroids. Considering that he was around the same age as Tobio, he was unusually tall.

      “He’s an idiot,” Daichi said, rolling his eyes over at Tobio. “You don’t have to run if you don’t want to.”

      “No. I want to.”

      “Alright. On three. One, two—”

      “You guys are slow-pokes!” Suga had already made it back down. He was clutching his knees, breathing heavily as he looked up at the two boys. “Slowkie-pokies!”

      “Why are we friends?”

      “Because you love me, Thighchi!” Suga wrapped his arms around Daichi, despite his frequent attempts to stop the grey-haired boy from cutting off his oxygen supply. Tobio was stood there, wishing he had someone that he could joke around with like that. The only person Tobio could say he loved was his mother, and she was dead.

      “Hey, Suga. Get off.”

      “But—”

      “No, seriously. Get off. Tobio’s upset.” Suga withdrew his arms and turned around, gasping slightly when he saw that the raven-haired boy was crying. Tobio was a silent crier. He didn’t snuffle or make too much noise, but the tears would still slide down his cheeks and his eyes would water like they’d just been assaulted by onion ninjas.

      “Hey, Tobio,” Suga said, approaching the boy. “Are you alright?” Suga’s eyes looked him over. He had dark shadows under his eyes, even though he looked quite young, and his small frame was covered in reddish bruises. They were peeking out from beneath his long sleeves and the cuts in his shirt.

      “Fine,” Tobio said, hurriedly wiping away his tears. “I—I just remembered. I need to go to the shop.”

      “But…”

      “Suga.” Daichi put a hand on Suga’s shoulder, stopping him from going into mother mode.

      “Thank you,” Tobio said before running off in the direction of the shop. The two kids were puzzled at why exactly the boy had thanked them, but they didn’t dwell upon it for too long. Just moments later, they were bickering over an entirely different topic.

***

      Once in the shop, Tobio went into stealth mode. It was a fairly large supermarket, so it was easy to sneak a couple of beers into his bag and slip back out without incident. Tobio was incredibly skilled when it came to assessing situations. He could tell you the location of each camera without even being in the shop; he knew where the camera viewing area was located _and_ he knew when the security guards took breaks. It had taken him a while to gather this information, but once he’d compiled it all together, it became invaluable. He was able to slip through the aisles and take what he needed. Essentials like bread, milk and butter… then non-essentials like beer, beer and more beer.

      Despite his slight detour, he was still able to make it out of the supermarket once he’d gotten everything he needed. He’d also grabbed himself a small bag of jelly beans. It wasn’t often that he was allowed to eat candy, considering that he never had any money, so he looked forward to the rare moments he was able to eat something containing sugar. _It would fatten him up_ , he reasoned. After all, he was as skinny as a stick.

      As he walked the short distance home, he saw that the sun was setting. The cars were blazing past, an orangey tint lining each glass window. The streets weren’t as crowded as they usually were — there were only a few teenagers walking about in small groups. He also noticed an orange-haired kid carrying a volleyball with him. He was standing next to another boy with dark hair.

      Once Tobio reached his street, he saw that the two boys were still nearby. Daichi and Suga. He tried to make himself unnoticeable, but it was pretty hard since they were looking in his direction.

      “Hey, Tobio!” Suga ran towards him, wearing the same big grin on his face. “You went off so suddenly. Daichi and I wanted to ask you something.” Tobio’s face blanched slightly. He knew it was only a matter of time before they asked where he’d gotten his bruises from or how his clothes were so tatty.

      “W…What is it?”

      “Do you want to come have dinner at my house? My friend Azumane was meant to be coming, but he has some sort of ballet class,” Suga explained. “I know it’s sudden, but you seem cool. Plus, you could use some meat on those bones.”

      “Suga! Don’t say things like that,” Daichi scolded before turning his attention over to Tobio. “I’m sorry about him. He can be so tactless sometimes…”

      “No, no.” Tobio tried to return Suga’s grin. However, the two of them recoiled in shock at the sight of his smile. While he thought it was brightening his face the same way it did the grey-haired boy, it looked more like he was an alien who had learnt about human expressions from a book.

      “Are you… smiling?”

      “Of course he is, Suga. Don’t be stupid!” Daichi looked like he wanted to slap the grey-haired boy, but he instead slapped his own forehead. Right after he removed his hand from his forehead, some dark hair flopped down to form a slight fringe. “Jeez.”

      “Thank you! Very much!” Tobio bowed his head as far down as he could. He couldn’t believe that these two boys were being so kind. Tobio had never been treated kind by anyone but his mother, so for these two boys to be so kind towards him… it was enough to make him want to cry.

      “Jeez, you don’t need to bow.” Suga laughed and went towards the boy, tapping him on the shoulder. “Come on. Head up, Tobio. Have some confidence.”

      “Don’t make him like you!”

      “I’m amazing, Dai-chan.”

      Tobio lifted his head to see that the two were bickering with one another once again, Suga laughing while Daichi looked like he was ready to rip the shorter boy’s head off. At first, he didn’t understand how they could be so close when they argued as often as they did, but now he did. They never tried to intentionally hurt one another, nor did they look genuinely angry. The two would eventually end up grinning and nudging each other in jest.

      “I… I want to be friends with you!” Tobio’s eyes were shining with pride as he faced the two boys, who had now gone quiet. He was still clutching the heavy plastic bags in his hands, but he was clutching them with slightly more optimism.

      “Sure thing, Tobio.” Daichi grinned. “You can help me keep this idiot in line, huh?”

      “I’m _not_ an idiot! I got perfect marks in my most recent maths test!”

      “Yeah, because you cheated.” Daichi snorted with laughter. “You think I didn’t see you with your phone under the desk?”

      “I… I was checking the time!” Before Daichi could retort, Suga grabbed both Daichi’s arm and Tobio’s arm. “Speaking of the time, it’s starting to get dark. Let’s get home before my parents eat all of the katsudon.”

***

      Tobio was having so much fun at Suga’s house that he completely forgot about his father, who was waiting at home for him. He also forgot that the longer his father went without beer, the more violent he would become. After all, Tobio was too busy marvelling at all the fancy-looking equipment in Suga’s house.

      “A vacuum cleaner?!” Tobio’s eyes were shining as he looked at the glossy, globe-shaped object. “It’s got a retractable cord feature, a stream-lined canister and the handle is made out of _stainless steel_! Oh my God, does this even have swivel steering? This is amazing!”

      “You’re awfully passionate about vacuums,” Suga joked, exchanging a look with Daichi. Daichi himself was watching the dark-haired boy with an intrigued look on his face. He’d never quite known someone as peculiar as Tobio. When Tobio had spotted the dinner table, which was made up with a wide variety of food, he’d eaten like a starving man introduced to a massive feast. Right after, he’d apologised to Suga’s parents for being an inconvenience.

      “If only you were as passionate about your grades, Suga.”

      “I am!” Suga insisted. “Hey, Tobio. What school do you go to? You live close to Nagamushi Junior, don’t you? But I’ve never seen you there.”

      At the mention of school, Tobio suddenly remembered that he hadn’t given his father the beer. It was sitting in Suga’s hallway, just waiting to be taken home. But it had probably gone lukewarm by now, considering how warm it was in his house. Tobio’s own flat room was ice-cold, the only source of warmth the ratty blanket the small boy held close to him night after night.

      “Oh… um…” Tobio flushed. He wasn’t sure what to tell Suga. He didn’t want his new friends to worry, after all. “I go to I…Ichiban Junior.”

      “Oh. I’ve never heard of that,” Suga said, turning to face Daichi. “What about you, Dai-chan?”

      “Nope.” Daichi shook his head. “Say, Tobio. Where’s it located?”

      _Damn. More lies_ , Tobio thought. He wasn’t good at talking to people, let alone telling lies. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through this. He’d never even been anywhere apart from the nearby supermarket. He didn’t know any landmarks, nor did he know any common shops or places. “I’m not sure. I take the bus there.”

      Suga gasped. “Oh, cool! Which bus do you take?”

      “The big red one.”

      “Red?” Suga narrowed his eyes. “There’s no red buses around here.”

      “I… I’m sorry!” Tobio had gone bright red. He was never much good at lying. “Please don’t hate me! I… I’m sorry!” He wanted to melt into the ground. He’d been caught in a lie. He hadn’t even known his new friends for twenty-four hours and he was already telling lies.

      “Hey.” Daichi’s hand was on Tobio’s shoulder, stopping the small boy from shaking. In fact, Tobio hadn’t even been _aware_ that he was shaking so much. He was used to feeling nervous so often that he didn’t realise when he looked like he was nervous to other people. “Suga and I, we’re worried about you,” Daichi admitted. “We know you don’t know us well, but… is everything going alright?”

      “Yeah.” Tobio’s eyes glanced over at the window, where the sky was now beginning to darken even more. The sun had disappeared. _Oh no_. Tobio knew that he’d be in for it once he got home. Chances are, he wouldn’t be able to sit on his backside for at _least_ a week.

      “We… we saw what’s in your bags,” Daichi admitted. “Are you…”

      “I—I need to go!” Tobio sprinted out of the room, but the two kids ran after him.

      “Wait, Tobio! If something’s up, we can help,” Suga insisted.

      “Nothing’s up! I’m fine!” Tobio grabbed the bags stuffed full of alcoholic beverages and rushed towards the front door, but the two boys weren’t giving up.

      “No you’re not!” Suga forcibly put his hands on Tobio’s shoulders, halting the small boy’s movements. “You’ve been a nervous wreck ever since we started asking you questions—”

      “I need to go home.”

      “But…”

      “Suga, it _is_ late,” Daichi said, going towards the door. “My dad’s going to be here in half an hour. Say, Tobio. My dad can give you a lift if you want.”

      “No, I should walk. Thank you for your kindness, though.” Tobio went towards the door and opened it using his elbow. The door swung open, revealing the night sky. There were houses opposite, bright lights and empty driveways seen wherever Tobio looked.

      “To-bi-o!” Suga rushed in front of Tobio. Clearly, the grey-haired boy didn’t plan on giving up on finding out what was going on in Tobio’s life. “We’re your friends! Friends tell each other everything!”

      “In that case…” Tobio paused, mentally preparing himself to say the words he was about to say. “We can’t be friends.” Today had been one of the best days of Tobio’s life. That was for sure. He’d never eaten meat so tender, vegetables so rich, nor had he drank water as clear as Suga’s bottled water. But… Tobio couldn’t let his friends worry about him. Daichi and Suga were happy as they were, going to school and making friends. Tobio wished nothing more than to live a life as simple as that. But, he couldn’t.

      Before the two boys could respond, Tobio had already disappeared into the darkness. That was the kind of person Tobio was—the one that people didn’t notice. He had a prominent aura, but at the same time, since he was so small, it was easy for him to hide. If only he could hide from his father forever and not have to face him.

      “Tobio!” Suga ran out of his house, looking up and down for the boy. But he’d disappeared, just as quickly as he’d arrived. So, Suga ran back down the street, where Daichi was there waiting for him. “He’s gone, Daichi. I’m scared for him.”

      “We both are,” Daichi murmured, placing a hand on Suga’s shoulder. “But… Tobio looks like he can handle himself.”

      “You’re just saying that, Dai-chan!”

      “No. He’s awkward, but he looks like he has fighting spirit. We’ll be seeing him again,” Daichi assured, turning his attention back towards the open door. “Now, let’s go inside. We should finish clearing the dinner table.”

      Suga sighed. “Alright.”

      The two boys walked the short distance over to the front door and closed it once they’d both gotten inside. It was then that Tobio slipped out from behind the shrubbery, looking back and forth before he made his way out of the street and over to the adjacent one where his flat was located. Daichi’s words were stuck in Tobio’s mind. _He looks like he has fighting spirit_. Daichi was right. Tobio had to stop being so scared. He could use some of Suga’s confidence.

      “I’m scared,” Tobio whispered to himself. His stomach was full and he felt strangely relaxed after trying out Suga’s dad’s recliner chair, but he still had a sense of dread lurking about in his stomach. _I hate Dad_ , Tobio thought. He’d tried to banish the thought, reminding himself that it was wicked to hate the man who had created him, but it was becoming harder and harder. Weren’t dads meant to nurture their kids and take them to football games, or whatever games they play nowadays? Seeing how Suga had interacted with his parents really made Tobio realise that his life wasn’t normal. Tobio’s father had never said “I love you”. Nor had he encouraged the small boy to make friends — in fact, he’d done the opposite. Tobio hated his father. He wouldn’t deny it anymore. He hated him, hated him more than he hated fear. But, didn’t Tobio’s father hate him too?

***

      When Tobio finally walked back into the flat, he saw that Akihiro was sitting at his futon, staring at the door. Akihiro blinked a couple of times, then as if finally noticing the boy, he hopped to his feet.

      “You!” In a couple of strides, he’d shut the door and knocked the boy to his feet, his eyes blazing with anger. “I saw you messing around with those kids from the window! You were gone for three hours. _Three hours_. What do you think you’re doing?!” He picked up the bags of beer and pulled one out, inspecting the can. “This is the wrong brand! I asked for Sapporo, not Ichiban!”

      Tobio didn’t respond. He simply blinked up at his father. His back was aching, but he didn’t complain.

      “You…” Akihiro growled. “Absolutely useless! Useless! Useless!” He started throwing the beer bottles at the small Tobio, who was shielding his face with his hands. It didn’t help that Akihiro played aggressive volleyball, which meant he had a powerful throw. Thankfully, since he still had alcohol in his system, most of the bottles happened to miss Tobio’s small body. While some shattered around him, others just tumbled into his lap. He could taste the bitterness of the malty beverage on his lips. He smelt just like his father. Tobio felt disgusted.

      Once Akihiro had emptied the bag of beer, he walked away and went back to lying in his futon as if nothing had happened. Akihiro usually got pretty tired after his frequent bursts of anger. Tobio removed his hands from his face, noting that his hands were now covered in small cuts. Strangely enough, he didn’t feel emotional like he always did after falling victim to his father’s attacks. He just felt… blank.

      “I hate you,” Tobio mumbled, getting up onto his feet. He brushed away the stray pieces of glass from his clothes, but he kept a particularly large shard of glass. He grabbed a beer bottle with a broken neck and went towards Akihiro, who was now sluggish with sleep.

      “Eh? Go to sleep, you,” Akihiro mumbled, his eyes beginning to droop.

      “You’re disgusting,” Tobio said, his voice quieter than usual. “You do these horrible things to me and then you act as if it never happened. Why do you do that?”

      “Eh?” Akihiro was beginning to wake up now. He held his head up slightly, blinking over at Tobio. But Tobio chose that moment to strike. He forced his father’s head back down. “Oi, you. Stop—” Tobio forced the broken beer bottle down his father’s neck, the lukewarm beverage trickling down his throat. Tobio could hear the sound of his father choking on the drink, coughing and spluttering. He watched until every last drop had slicked out of the bottle and down his father’s throat, and then he spoke.

      “Since you never got Mom a birthday present, I’ll give it to her on your behalf. Your dead body.” The boy was eerily calm as he held his father’s head down, managing to avoid his thrashing body parts. He was forcing the broken neck of the beer bottle into his throat, pushing so hard that Akihiro was gargling on his own blood.

      “Ga…gah…” Tobio tore the empty beer bottle from Akihiro’s mouth, staring into his father’s eyes with his own dead ones.

      “They say that drunkenness kills. But right now, you’re pretty sober, aren’t you? You still look just as pathetic as ever. You still look like the guy who’d threaten to kill his own son.” Tobio remembered the many, _many_ incidents very well when his father had been close to fatally hurting him. He hadn’t forgotten any of them. It had happened so many times that he’d lost count. He wanted to be normal. Normal. _Normal_. “The only thing that makes us related is that we both want to see each other dead. Tell me, Akihiro. Why do you hate me so much?”

      The man didn’t respond. Sure, he was blinking. He was bleeding. But he just couldn’t talk. He was nowhere near dying, in all honesty. It would take more than some beer glass to kill someone like Akihiro.

      “You… you were an accident,” Akihiro managed to choke out. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be playing volleyball with the Suntory Sunbirds. You ruined me.” Each word was laced with venom. Even in Tobio’s altered state of mind, he could feel the pain in each word. It _hurt_. He just wanted to be loved. He wanted Akihiro to say that it had all just been the alcohol and that he didn’t hate him. But, that kind of stuff only happens in fairy tales. This was real life.

      “I wish I didn’t have your eyes,” Tobio eventually said, his eyes focused on his father’s blue ones. “Those are the same eyes that watched me cry, hurt and scream. Fuck you.” Tobio thrust his piece of glass into his father’s left eye. Blood instantly began to trickle out, although it wasn’t as explosive as Tobio had expected. However, Akihiro’s roars were near-deafening. They only got worse when Tobio went for the other eye, effectively blinding the man. Akihiro’s flailing arm managed to catch Tobio at last, whacking the small boy in the face. He fell back, but he quickly got back onto his feet and ran over to the pile of broken glass. His cut hand was dripping all over the pile. Meanwhile, Akihiro was still too much in shock to move. He was just flailing and wailing, putting his hands to his eyes and screaming “I can’t see!” again and again. His sight was completely drowned in blood.

      Tobio approached Akihiro once again, confident that the man wouldn’t be able to escape him now. Tobio had dreamt of getting revenge on his father so many times, but now that he was actually _seeing_ it, he felt kind of sick. But when he reminded himself why he was doing it, it made seeing all the blood just a little bit easier.

      “You don’t deserve those eyes. If you can’t see how pathetic you are, you don’t deserve to see at all.” Tobio steadied the piece of glass in his hand, which was icicle-shaped. Tobio’s body was burning hot right now, hotter than ever. It was strange. This room was so cold, this piece of glass in his hands was cold. But he was burning with adrenaline; it was something that he’d never felt before. He liked it.

      Tobio moved to Akihiro, whose movements had calmed down slightly. He was dying. Sure, Akihiro was strong. But there weren’t many people out there who could survive having their throat and eyes stabbed. Chances were that Tobio had probably hit some sort of major area in the brain. He’d spent a while studying the positions and meanings of each area of the brain. Hopefully, he’d managed to hit the area which affected movement. His precision was a little off right now, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was finishing the job.

      Kneeling down, he readied the piece of glass in his one hand and placed a hand on Akihiro’s chest with the other. “You don’t deserve this heart. You don’t deserve to be breathing; you don’t deserve to be living. I fucking hate you, Akihiro. You’re no dad to me. Now, die.” He drew the glass right across his father’s neck. It didn’t kill him. So he did it again, again and again. He was thrashing out at Tobio, trying to grab the glass out of his hand, but Tobio wasn’t having it. He’d dreamt of a moment like this too many times to give it up now. He wanted his father to die. He deserved to die. That was why Tobio was forcing the glass across his neck, again, again and again. The glass was also digging into Tobio’s small hands, but the boy didn’t care. He could only focus on the man in front of him. Everything else was just background noise.

      “Die!” In one final move, he thrust the glass directly into his father’s throat. The blood gargled from his throat even more, bubbling onto his face and onto the futon. It was crimson red, red like the sunset he’d seen when he was walking home from the supermarket. Crimson red, red like the dresses his mother used to wear. Tobio’s mother had loved red.

      _Red’s my favourite colour_ , Tobio remembered his mother saying. _Whenever you see red, think of me. And remember to clean your room, Tobio. It’s a dump_.

      Tobio stood up, went towards his futon and set up the blanket, making sure it was just as neat as usual. It didn’t matter if there were bloody handprints on the blanket. Tobio then picked up a shirt, placed it over in his clothing basket and went back to sit on his futon. Then, he grabbed his mother’s necklace from under his pillow, the one item that he’d managed to hide from his father, and held it in his hands.

      “Have I made you proud, Mom? I know I have, haven’t I?” The boy smiled, the new facial expression he’d learnt from Suga. “I’ll keep making you proud. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Black Parade (Lyrics):
> 
> When I was a young boy  
> My father took me into the city  
> To see a marching band
> 
> He said, "Son when you grow up  
> Would you be the savior of the broken  
> The beaten and the damned?"  
> He said "Will you defeat them  
> Your demons, and all the non-believers  
> The plans that they have made?"  
> "Because one day I'll leave you  
> A phantom to lead you in the summer  
> To join The Black Parade"
> 
> When I was a young boy  
> My father took me into the city  
> To see a marching band  
> He said, "Son when you grow up  
> Would you be the saviour of the broken  
> The beaten and the damned?"
> 
> Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me  
> And other times I feel like I should go  
> And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets  
> And when you're gone we want you all to know
> 
> We'll carry on  
> We'll carry on  
> And though you're dead and gone believe me  
> Your memory will carry on  
> We'll carry on  
> And in my heart I can't contain it  
> The anthem won't explain it
> 
> A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams  
> Your misery and hate will kill us all  
> So paint it black and take it back  
> Let's shout it loud and clear  
> Defiant to the end we hear the call
> 
> To carry on  
> We'll carry on  
> And though you're dead and gone believe me  
> Your memory will carry on  
> We'll carry on  
> And though you're broken and defeated  
> Your weary widow marches
> 
> On and on we carry through the fears  
> Ooh oh ohhhh  
> Disappointed faces of your peers  
> Ooh oh ohhhh  
> Take a look at me cause I could not care at all
> 
> Do or die, you'll never make me  
> Because the world will never take my heart  
> Go and try, you'll never break me  
> We want it all, we wanna play this part  
> I won't explain or say I'm sorry  
> I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar  
> Give a cheer for all the broken  
> Listen here, because it's who we are  
> I'm just a man, I'm not a hero  
> Just a boy, who had to sing this song  
> I'm just a man, I'm not a hero  
> I  
> Don't  
> Care!
> 
> We'll carry on  
> We'll carry on  
> And though you're dead and gone believe me  
> Your memory will carry on  
> You'll carry on  
> And though you're broken and defeated  
> Your weary widow marches on
> 
> Do or die, you'll never make me  
> Because the world will never take my heart  
> Go and try, you'll never break me  
> We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)
> 
> Do or die, you'll never make me (We'll carry on)  
> Because the world will never take my heart (We'll carry on)  
> Go and try, you'll never break me  
> We want it all, we wanna play this part  
> (We'll carry on!)


	10. Kings Sit on Thrones, Not Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was meant to be Karasuno’s survivor.  
> But he’d sacrificed them all to save himself.
> 
> It only made sense that karma would come to hit him, right?  
> But why? Why did it hit him so hard?

      That had been Kageyama’s last meeting with his father. His father had also been his first ever kill. And now, he was standing in the medical area of Fukurodani Penitentiary, serving his remaining forty-three years of a sixty year sentence. He’d been charged for a lot of murders, but he’d somehow managed to get away with that one.

      “I want to be here when Hinata wakes up,” Kageyama repeated, clutching the small ace’s hand. “He… he shouldn’t be alone when he’s hurt like this.” Kageyama was somewhat able to see himself in Hinata. Even though they were entirely different in appearance and personality — Kageyama was quiet and tall, Hinata was loud and short — Kageyama still felt a strange need to protect the orange-haired man. Kageyama himself was far gone, but Hinata could still be saved. There was still a chance.

      “You know the rules, Kageyama-kun. Inmates aren’t allowed to be in here if they aren’t injured.”

      “Medical budget,” Kageyama said, putting heavy emphasis on both words. “Budget, Takeda-sensei. The budget.”

      “Okay, okay.” Takeda sighed. “But don’t be… you. It looks like he’s been through a lot. Just… let him breathe, alright?”

      “Yeah.” Kageyama would’ve looked up at the doctor, but his eyes were glued to the still-asleep Hinata. The man’s chest was still heaving. Kageyama could see the slight fall-and-rise motion of the blanket; Hinata’s quiet breathing which sounded like music to his ears. “Could you go now?”

      “Wait, Kageyama-kun.”

      “What is it?”

      “Why are you so interested in Hinata-kun? Pardon me for asking, but it’s rare to see you like this.”

      “I’m not interested. I’m just angry at myself,” Kageyama answered, clenching his jaw. He couldn’t defend people. He could only watch them die. Couldn’t he do anything else? Couldn’t he learn how to save lives rather than take them? He’d been trying to please his mother, but along the path, he’d lost himself. _Would Mom be proud of me now?_ The thought popped into Kageyama’s head before he could try to force it out.

      “Angry?”

      “Yeah. Angry.” Kageyama sighed. “Are you done with your interrogation?”

      “Oh, sorry!” Kageyama could hear the embarrassment leaking into the doctor’s tone. “I… I never intended to interrogate you! I’m sorry; I’ll go now. I’ll be checking in though,” the doctor warned. “So behave.” Moments later, Kageyama could hear the sound of the door slamming shut. It reminded him of his first night in the prison.

***

      _Where did I mess up? When did everyone stop trusting me to lead them?_ Kageyama still couldn’t believe that he’d ended up in prison. _Prison_. He was expecting to wake up any minute and find that he was still Karasuno’s King. It had once been a name hailing his brilliance, his unrivalled skill. But now, it was mocking him. The “fallen king”. The “dictator king”. It was no longer a compliment.

      The doors slammed shut. He wanted to cry. He was never meant to fall like this. He’d planned every last detail scrupulously. He was never meant to fail like that. But, he’d been betrayed. He didn’t know who was to blame — in fact, he’d probably never find out. But when he’d gotten home that one fateful day, the police were there. They had an arrest warrant. His home was meant to be off-the-radar. It was meant to be impossible to find. But there’d been a whole army of police there, just _waiting_ for him to return. The courts had hated him. He’d hired the best lawyers, but there wasn’t much that they could do. Japan’s police force had been hunting him down for so long; they wanted him to face the full brunt of the law. His lawyers had managed to stop the courts from giving him a life sentence, arguing that Kageyama couldn’t be held accountable for the crimes committed by people that he was affiliated with, but forty-three years didn’t feel much different. He’d die before he got out, that much was for sure.

      He was meant to be Karasuno’s survivor.

      But he’d sacrificed them all to save himself.

      It only made sense that karma would come to hit him, right?

      But why? Why did it hit him so hard?

      “King, you wanna stop turning back and forth so much? The sound of your bed squeaking is annoying me.” He could hear the sound of the obnoxious Terushima, a member of the Johzenji. He’d been warned about the Johzenji by none other than the man he’d spent a good part of his life with. Sugawara.

      “Ah, is the King going to cry? How many years you got, ay? Ten? Hundred? Life?” Kageyama wasn’t sure who was speaking now, but he had a mean voice. He was probably part of the Johzenji too.

      “I could never support a little pussy like you who throws his teammates under the bus and gets all the credit,” Terushima said. “You ain’t shit, King.” _I know that. I’m a shitty person. I don’t need you to tell me that_ , Kageyama thought.

      The abuse didn’t stop. He spent the entire night being taunted by that same name. King, King, _King_. It was morning when Terushima woke him up by pouring a bottle of water over his face. Unfortunately, Kageyama had been dreaming about his first ever kill. Where the beer had washed over his face and he’d been burning with sudden, seething anger. Kageyama had sat up in bed and grabbed the unsuspecting Terushima by the throat, almost choking him to death. That was how Kageyama had ended up in the SHU after just one day of prison. He’d put up a fight, even attempting to take on all the C.Os that had attempted to try and stop Kageyama from hurting Terushima. Kageyama gave one C.O. a black eye, another C.O. a concussion and Terushima ended up with neck lesions. That first day of his was enough to make everyone in prison fear him.

      Deep down, he didn’t want everyone to be scared of him.

      He wanted someone to accept him, the way Suga and Daichi had accepted him all those years ago.

      Even if it was just one evening of bliss, he wanted it. He needed it.

      He wouldn’t be able to last without it.

      Without Hinata.

***

      “Pew… pew…” Hinata’s sleeping sounds had changed, much to Kageyama’s amusement. He sounded like he was playing a video game in his sleep. He’d been kneeling at Hinata’s bedside for a good half-hour, just watching the man sleep. He didn’t stop to think about how creepy it might’ve seemed — he only cared about making sure that Hinata was okay.

      Hinata sat up all of a sudden, batting his hands around haphazardly. The orange-haired man stopped once he realised that he was repeatedly hitting someone. He turned his head, blushing when he saw that Kageyama was there. The dark-haired man didn’t even seem the slightest bit fazed by Hinata’s slaps.

      “I—I’m so—” The words ‘I’m sorry’ were about to leave Hinata’s lips, but then he choked on his words slightly.

      “Water,” Kageyama said, grabbing the cup of water he’d prepared. He held it to Hinata’s lips and poured it in slowly, trying his best not to overwhelm the recovering Hinata. Hinata gulped the water down, not stopping until he’d finished the entire cup.

      Once it was empty, Kageyama set the paper cup to the floor once again and took Hinata’s hand in his. “Are you…” He was about to ask Hinata if he was alright, but he clearly wasn’t. He didn’t know what to ask Hinata. He’d been kneeling here for so long, waiting to talk to him, but now that the time had actually come… he didn’t know what to say.

      “I… I hurt,” Hinata whimpered, tears beginning to gather in his eyes.

      “You’re safe now,” Kageyama responded, gripping Hinata’s hand even harder. “I won’t leave you alone. I’ll protect you.” Kageyama’s mother had had the same eyes as Hinata, now that he thought of it. The same bright orange eyes which always fascinated Kageyama. She’d been a natural brunette, but she’d always dyed her hair red. Kageyama hadn’t ended up with any of his mother’s features, save for his pointy chin and pert lips.

      Hinata pulled his hand out of Kageyama’s. “Don’t touch me.”

      “Hinata…”

      “Don’t touch me!” His eyes widened, looking at Kageyama as if he were a monster. “I can’t trust you! Stay away from me! Stay away!” Takeda rushed into the room, but he didn’t speak at first. He looked at the scene. He saw the disappointment in Kageyama’s eyes, the frustration. Then the fear in Hinata’s eyes, the way he tried to shuffle himself further away from Kageyama.

      “Kageyama-kun… you should probably go,” Takeda said, approaching the two men. Takeda knew it was the last thing that Kageyama wanted to do, but Hinata was nowhere near recovering. He’d rested, but he hadn’t been checked over for any possible injuries yet.

      Kageyama clenched his jaw as he stood up, looking like he wanted to dispute with Takeda yet again. He opened his mouth. But then he looked down at Hinata, who was still quivering with fear at the sight of Kageyama. He shut his mouth. He nodded at Takeda. Then, turning on his heel, he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

      Once he’d made it a short distance away from medical, he slammed his fist against a nearby wall.

      “Fuck!” He leaned his head against the wall, breathing in and out. He couldn’t get over the way Hinata had looked at him. _God, he doesn’t even know the man that well. Why does he care so much?_ He was frustrated, so frustrated.

      “Hey, Kageyama.” Suddenly, he could feel a hand on his back. He knew the owner of the voice very well. “Yamamoto’s got your Gun Gun Yoghurt, if you still want it. He sent Kindaichi down to get you earlier on, but you didn't open your room door.” _Oh_. Kageyama had been so engrossed in his music that he hadn't heard the knocking.

      “Oh. I still want my yoghurt.” Kageyama turned around to face the spiky-haired Nishinoya, who worked in the kitchen alongside Yamamoto, Tanaka and Asahi. The four of them were an explosive quartet — that was a fact that many of the inmates had come to know. But since they meshed together so well, it meant that they would always put their all into making the food taste as good as humanly possible.

      “Good.” He grinned and grabbed Kageyama’s wrist, pulling him along the hallway. “Now, let’s go before one of those asshole C.Os come and give us a shot.”


	11. Takeru Will Tackle You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Implied rape at the end of this chapter]  
> Hinata reflects on his up-and-down relationship with Takeru, the wild leader of Wakunan.

      “Ta—Takeru!” His hands ran along Hinata’s strong arms, caressing and tickling wherever they could. Hinata lived for these moments, the moments when it was just those two and they didn’t have to think about anything but the present. He loved it when it was just him and Takeru sharing a bed and acting like kids. They’d been together for just over three years now. Hinata had managed to get himself into a decent university, but Takeru had insisted that he didn’t _need_ education, he just needed a piece and he’d be A-OK.

      “Shou-chan,” Takeru responds, ruffling Hinata’s soft bedhead. “You need to stop being so cute in the mornings.” Takeru kissed Hinata’s forehead, once then twice. And then a third time, for good luck.

      “All I did was say good morning,” Hinata huffed. He couldn’t hide his grin at all the kisses Takeru was giving him, though. To most people, Takeru seemed like a hard-ass. But, Takeru had his soft side, just like any other person. Hinata had seen all of his sides. He’d seen Takeru when he was angry, frustrated and disappointed. But he was also able to see him when he was fluffy and loving, the way he was now.

      “Exactly.” Takeru’s hands slipped under Hinata’s shirt and pulled the boy closer to him, chuckling when he heard Hinata’s yelp.

      “Gwaah! You’re cold!” Hinata rolled away from Takeru, only to end up rolling out of the bed itself. He was expecting Takeru to come and help him up with that concerned look on his face, but instead, he heard Takeru laughing so hard that Hinata was convinced he’d pass out any minute.

      “Jeez, Shou-chan. You really take _waking up on the wrong side of bed_ to a new level, don’t you?” Takeru had rolled onto Hinata’s side of the bed, watching the orange-haired boy with a soft look in his eyes. “Are you going to practice today?”

      “Yeah. I have a tournament coming up,” Hinata said.

      “Ah. I’ll drive you over if you want,” Takeru offered, his eyes twinkling. “I quite like the idea of honking the horn at you as I drive away.”

      “I think I should walk. It’ll help with my stamina.” Hinata didn’t want to admit that he was actually meeting up with a friend who was taking the same course as him. Her name was Yachi, Yachi Hitoka. Takeru got really jealous whenever Hinata talked about meeting other people. He always required Hinata to give him detailed information on every single person in his life, even things like blood type and zodiac signs (he thinks that the stars can tell him if someone’s trying to steal Hinata from him).

      “Ah, _stamina_. I could help you with that.” Takeru winked. Not once, but twice. Oh no, _thrice_. Hinata thought that’d he’d blinked the third time, but he hadn’t.

      “Huh? You want to walk with me?”

      Takeru facepalmed. “Jeez, Shou-chan.”

      “What?”

      “Nothing.” He shook his head. “Go get ready then, alright? You’ll be late otherwise.”

      “Alright.” Hinata hopped up to his feet and hurried over to the bathroom, intending to take a quick shower. He was at Takeru’s house, having been roped into sleeping over by the ever-devious gang leader. Takeru had been in high moods ever since pulling off a particularly risky heist. The boy loved danger; he lived for it.

***

      “I had fun today, Hinata-kun.”

      “Just Hinata,” he said, returning Yachi’s grin. “And so did I.”

      “When can we go out for burgers again?” The two of them were standing outside Sakanoshita, rubbing their stomachs as they walked down the streets. It was evening. They’d spent the day exchanging notes and tips for their university course, so it only made sense that they went for food as well.

      “Does next week sound good?”

      “Yeah!” Yachi wrapped her arms around Hinata. “Thanks! I’ll see you in class tomorrow!”

      “Yeah.” The two of them waved at one another as they went their separate ways. It wasn’t often that Hinata got to interact with people outside of Wakunan or volleyball, so he felt quite happy that he’d been able to make a new friend.

      Well, at least until Takeru’s car pulled up just moments later. The window rolled down, revealing a pissed-off Takeru.

      “Get in.”

      “I’m walking—”

      “Get in the fucking car, Shouyou.” Hinata got into the front seat before he could anger Takeru any further. Takeru rolled the window back up and zoomed away from the curb. He was _definitely_ going above the speed limit. And he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. Hinata had already buckled his in, but Takeru always insisted on ‘living wild’. Whenever Hinata tried to scold him about it, Takeru would become unusually hostile.

      Hinata reached towards the radio, intending to put on some smooth music, but Takeru slapped his hand away. _Oh_. Hinata put his hand back in his lap, staring awkwardly into the distance.

      “Can you drive me home?” Hinata finally managed to squeak. Takeru didn’t respond. He just kept on driving even faster. Hinata knew that they weren’t going in the direction of his house. They were going towards Takeru’s house. The boy was eighteen, just like Hinata, but he owned his own house. Hinata still lived with his parents. After all, a normal university student couldn’t afford his own place. Takeru had tried to convince Hinata to move in with him, but Hinata had vehemently refused. As much as he liked Takeru, he usually got scared when Takeru got into one of his angry/sulky moods.

      Soon, they were pulling up outside Takeru’s place. The doors opened automatically, allowing the both of them to step out. Hinata followed closely behind Takeru, who was still quiet. He hadn’t spoken once during the entire car journey, not even when a shooting star appeared.

      Once the front door slammed shut, Takeru let his anger loose.

      “You’re fucking cheating on me!”

      Hinata stared back at Takeru, slightly shocked by his sudden accusation. Takeru was usually quite patient and gentle with Hinata when he wanted to be, but now… he was treating Hinata the way he did everyone else.

      “I’m not.”

      “You refuse to let me drive you to uni, you refuse to move in with me… and it’s because you’re shacking up with some hussy?”

      “We’re just friends,” Hinata said, trying to keep his voice level. “We take the same uni course. We both like volleyball. We were exchanging notes.”

      “Yeah, because friends hug each other like that. Fuck you, Shou.” Takeru’s hand swung out, toppling a nearby vase over. It smashed upon hitting the ground, hundreds of multi-coloured shards covering the mosaic carpet.

      “Takeru… I don’t like it when you’re like this.”

      “Do you even fucking like me at all?! We’ve been in this relationship for _three_ years. Three years. And not once have we had sex. You’re never ready for anything, Shouyou! Never!”

      Hinata could feel himself becoming tearful, although he was trying his best to hold it back. He was part of Wakunan. He couldn’t cry. “You said… you said you didn’t mind waiting.”

      “Shou-chan. I fucking told you already,” Takeru said, stepping towards the orange-haired ace. “You’re mine. _Mine_. Don’t go behind my back like that.”

      “No… Takeru…” Hinata had been mulling over this thought for weeks. Weeks, weeks and weeks. Today’s meeting with Yachi had helped him to make up his mind for good. He was going to leave Wakunan. He was going to leave and focus on his volleyball career. After all, he wasn’t made out for gang activity. He hated it. None of the other Wakunan members liked him; he didn’t like doing all the heists and robberies. He’d only done it to keep Takeru happy. But no matter what Hinata did, Takeru would only end up getting angry at him in the end.

      “No, what?”

      “I don’t want to be in Wakunan anymore.”

      Takeru shook his head. “Oi. Stop joking about. This is serious.”

      “I’m being serious! I need to focus on my future, okay? If I keep this gang business up, my future’s going to result in me ending up behind bars. I want out, Takeru.” Hinata was shaking as he spoke the words. Takeru had forced him into Wakunan in the first place, all because he’d seen a murder that he shouldn’t have. Surely, he’d be allowed to leave now… right? Hinata wasn’t a snitch. He wouldn’t tell anyone about what he’d witnessed.

      “Don’t you fucking do that,” Takeru said, walking up to Hinata. “Don’t.”

      “Maybe you don’t care about your future, but I do.” Hinata breathed in, then out. In, then out. “You said you want to protect me, right? Let me go.”

      “So, you meet a new bitch and discard me so that you can elope with her. And I’m meant to just stand aside and take that?”

      “I don’t like Yachi like that! I want to play for Japan’s national volleyball team, Takeru. I can’t pass my uni exams, become an ace _and_ be part of Wakunan, okay? It’s too much!”

      “I don’t give a fuck,” Takeru snarled. “You’re mine. I’ve told you so many times to forget about uni. You don’t need it. You’ll just get people trying to steal you from me.”

      “I’m not your possession!”

      It was that comment that rubbed Takeru the wrong way. He narrowed his eyes, began to grind his teeth together. But he didn’t speak. He grabbed Hinata by the shoulders and pulled him out of the living room, tugging him in the direction of the bedroom.

      “Takeru, what are you doing?” He didn’t respond. “Takeru. _Takeru_.” They were in the bedroom now. Takeru let Hinata’s shoulders go, but he was still standing right up against the smaller boy.

      “Tell me, Shouyou. Do you love me?”

      “Yes! But—”

      “Then that’s all that matters.” Takeru pushed Hinata down onto the bed out of nowhere. Shocked, the boy fell back onto the soft covers.

      “Wait, Takeru. Stop. I need to go home.” Takeru clambered on top of the small boy and took his shirt off. Hinata was trying to stop the action, but Takeru was stronger. He forced Hinata’s arms out of the sleeves, then the shirt over his head. “Takeru!”

      “Try and leave me again. I’ll strangle you, Shou-chan!” He had an eerie smile on his lips as he spoke the words. He sounded almost happy, which was scaring Hinata even more.

      “Stop!”

      Takeru ripped Hinata’s shorts off too.

      “Stop it, Takeru!”

      Takeru began to undress himself.

      “I don’t want this!”

      He leant down to Hinata’s ear, whispered the four fatal words. “I love you, Shou-chan.”


	12. They Say Wounds Heal with Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa finally proves that he's not just a lovesick C.O. that likes to mess around with electronics.  
> The Daichi and Sugawara duo come to give Kageyama advice. (Suga's main priority is taking Kageyama's cigarettes and hiding them since he can't stand the smell, but he'll never confess to it.)

      “There you go, Hinata-kun. All better.” All of Hinata’s wounds had been treated. Well, _most_ of them. He’d had that stinging stuff put on them and some bandages to keep them hygienic and clean. The doctor had also shared some anecdotes about himself to keep Hinata amused during the long process. The ace was able to muster a smile or two, but he couldn’t laugh. He just… couldn’t.

      “Thank you,” Hinata mumbled, folding his arms around himself. Thanks to all the painkillers he’d been given, he could no longer feel any physical pain. However, he remembered every last thing that had happened during his time down in the hole. He remembered.

      “Now, Hinata-kun… I hate to ask about this, but… how did you get so many wounds?” Predictably enough, Hinata chose not to respond. He instead stared blankly at the doctor. “Alright. What happened to you during your time at the Secure Housing Unit?” Again, no response.

      Takeda produced a toffee chew from his pocket and held it up to Hinata. “Do you want some toffee?”

      He shook his head. “I… I don’t think I can chew. My mouth’s sore.”

      Takeda placed the toffee chew back in his pocket. “That’s OK. You didn’t have much problem eating those mushy peas, didn’t you? You’ll have to stick to soft foods for a while, but you’ll be fine soon. But, Hinata-kun… I can’t help you as well as I’d like to unless you tell me what happened to you.”

      “I’m fine. I can walk now.” Hinata slipped out of the bed. _Ouch_. He winced slightly, but brushed it off just moments later. He walked. His legs felt stiff and plank-like, but he could walk. It wasn’t as fast as he was used to walking, but he could still walk. “Can I leave?”

      “Wait, Hinata-kun. Someone’s coming to see you.”

      “Who?”

      “Chibi-chan!” Oikawa shuffled into the room, holding up a glitter flower. Oikawa’s head was in the middle of the flower. “I heard you’d fallen sick, so I made you a flooru.”

      “Flooru?”

      “My first name’s Tooru, so flower and Tooru makes flooru, which rhymes with floral,” he explained, handing out the flower to the now-standing patient. “Here you go, chibi-chan!” Hinata took the flower and inspected it. It had five petals, each petal a different colour. Purple glitter petal, pink glitter petal, blue glitter petal and so on. However, Oikawa’s head in the middle kind of ruined it. Even in a  _picture_ , Hinata could just feel that arrogant air coming off Oikawa. It didn't help that he'd chosen a picture with him tilting his head up. (He insisted that it was his best angle because it showed off his jawline. Duh.)

      “So, your head’s meant to make me feel better.” Looking around, Hinata noticed that the doctor had quietly excused himself to his office.

      “Yes, it is.” Oikawa pulled up a nearby chair and sat down. “Are you good at keeping secrets, chibi-chan?”

      “Yes.”

      “So am I. Now, you know one of my secrets.”

      “You’re a butthole?”

      “Well, another term for _butthole_ would be bottom, so you’re not wrong.”

      Hinata was confused. _Oikawa’s calling himself a butt?_ “Huh?”

      “Never mind.” Oikawa burst into laughter. “But, but. My point is that since you know one of my secrets, I should get to know one of yours.”

      “Go to hell,” Hinata muttered.

      “Why? I’m a good boy! At least, that’s what Tendou thinks.” At the mention of Tendou’s name, Hinata appeared visibly shaken. The eagle-eyed Oikawa didn’t miss Hinata’s change in demeanour.

      “I’m tired.” Hinata clambered back into bed and turned away from Oikawa, implying that it was time for him to _go away_. The eccentric counsellor didn’t take the hint.

      “Man, seems like everyone’s tired recently,” Oikawa pondered, switching sides so that he could see Hinata’s face. “Then again, Tendou always has that droopy-eyed thing that makes him look sleepy all of the time…” Hinata jerked once again at the mention of Tendou. Oikawa had had a suspicion, but Hinata’s reactions had just confirmed that suspicion. Tendou was the one to blame for Hinata’s countless injuries.

      “I said I’m tired. Go away, you… you… butthole.”

      “That lacked conviction, don’t you think, chibi-chan?” Oikawa kneeled over at Hinata’s bedside, looking down at the floor. “Agh! I’m going to get my slacks dirty! Iwa-chan might think that I was sucking off someone!”

      “I’m pretty sure he hates you,” Hinata muttered. He hadn’t seen much of Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s interactions, but he seemed to yell at Oikawa a lot. From what Hinata had seen, if someone got angry at you a lot, then it meant that they hated you. That might’ve been the case with him and Takeru.

      “Hmm?”

      “Nothing.”

      “Hey. I’ll make sure Tendou gets fired.” He stuck his tongue out at Hinata. “Sleep well, alright? Drop by my office once you’re well enough again. You’ve got letters.” Before Hinata could respond, Oikawa had already gotten up and made his way out of the room, whistling a theme song to himself. On the outside, he seemed like a useless counsellor who just obsessed over his Iwa-chan, but on the inside, he was a devious man who could read anyone and anything. He didn’t show it, but he cared a lot about the people he counselled. Each and every one of them.

***

_After that night, Takeru and Hinata’s relationship had begun to deteriorate. It had already been going downhill for a while, but when Hinata laid there, unable to move or speak, that was when he knew. Takeru was a bad man, a bad man that he so desperately didn’t want to love. Takeru had forced Hinata to get rid of his friends outside of volleyball. He’d had to fight just to get Takeru to consent to his being in a volleyball team. All Hinata wanted was freedom. But, even that was beginning to seem impossible._

_“I’m going to take a shower,” Takeru said, throwing himself out of the bed. Hinata was still in a state of shock. He was conscious, but he couldn’t really do anything. Hinata had spent a lot of time thinking about how his first time would be. What he’d say, what he’d do and what he’d feel. But… he hadn’t been in control for any of it. He’d just been used as a rag doll by Takeru. So, why does he still love Takeru? Why? He doesn’t want to love a man like that! He doesn’t! But, he can’t help but crave those smiles, those tender moments of his…_

_Hinata was still looking up at the ceiling, blinking up at the painted mural on the top. (Yes, Takeru made that much money.) He was aching so much that he couldn’t move. Takeru hadn’t bothered to prepare Hinata properly. Even if he had been well enough to go to campus, he knew that it was out of the question. Takeru would just get angry all over again._

_How does he escape Takeru?_

_He’s so scared._

***

      Come dinnertime, Kageyama is nowhere to be found. Usually, all inmates are required to go into the cafeteria for their dinner, but Kageyama didn’t bother to go in most days. He could usually be found smoking out by the sheds, trying to make himself invisible. Nobody ever went out when he was there. Well, at least until now.

      “Hey, Tobio.” Daichi walked out towards the sheds, holding a hand up to Kageyama in greeting. “Suga’s worried about you. He asked me to come and see how you’re doing.”

      “I’m fine. Just having a smoke.” He made a conscious effort to blow the smoke straight up, rather than in Daichi’s face.

      “You’ve been off ever since meeting that volleyball ace.” Daichi clicked his tongue at Kageyama. “What, did he finally melt that indomitable heart of yours?”

      “Ha-ha. We both know I have no heart.” Kageyama sighed and leaned against the shed, taking another puff of his cigarette. “I threw all of you under the bus, after all. I’m surprised you all still bother with me.”

      “I don’t know how the others feel, but Suga and I… we understand why you did what you did.”

      “Eh?” Kageyama was so shocked that his cigarette slipped out from between his fingers. “Damnit. I have to light a new one,” he murmured to himself, pulling out a menthol cigarette from his pocket along with a lighter. Daichi wrinkled his nose at the sight of the cigarette, but he didn’t comment on the habit.

      “I mean… I remember when we first met you. You’ve grown up not knowing who to trust. You didn’t understand. You were just young.”

      “That’s not an excuse for what I did. It doesn’t matter how old I am. If I throw you under the bus, then I did it. Why would you continue to trust me?”

      “Now, if Suga were here, he’d be towel-whipping you for suggesting that we should hate you,” Daichi said, a wistful smile appearing on his face. “We don’t. So get over it, Leader.”

      Kageyama took a long drag out of his cigarette, relishing the feeling of the cool sensation in his mouth. Then, he blew the smoke out, watching it drift into the air in puffy grey wisps. “I’m not a leader.”

      “Aw, come on. You’re the boss of the prison.”

      “I don’t want to be. I just want to serve my time.”

      “If you don’t want extra time, stay away from the ace. He’s with Wakunan. You know they’re trouble,” Daichi urged, narrowing his eyes at the smoker. “Come on. You know that better than anyone else.” During his first few weeks at the prison, he’d been jumped by Wakunan. Since Wakunan and Johzenji were close with one another, they’d made the decision to come after him once they heard that Kageyama had strangled Terushima, the leader of Johzenji.

      “Did you come here to see how I’m doing or did you come to lecture me?”

      “Both. Because you’re not doing well, so I need to lecture you. Idiot.” Daichi slapped Kageyama’s shoulder. “Things haven’t changed from when we were ten. Suga and I said we’d stick with you, no matter what. We’re in the same prison, same roof. It doesn’t matter if everyone blames you for the whole incident. You’re still with Karasuno. Understand?”

      “Yeah.” The cigarette was burning down just that little bit quicker. There was that orangey ring of fire, turning the previously white cigarette a singed black. Kageyama wasn’t sure when he’d picked up the habit, but he didn’t plan on dropping it. It was how he managed to remain somewhat sane in this place (although he’d become far gone a long time ago).

      “Now, what do you say you come inside? We’ve all saved you a seat at lunch. Yamamoto got an extra Gun Gun yoghurt for you,” Daichi added, knowing how much the man enjoyed Gun Gun yoghurt. Whether he was thirteen years old or thirty, he’d never stop enjoying the branded yoghurt.

      “Sorry. I still need to think.” Kageyama couldn’t get Hinata’s horrified expression out of his mind. He couldn’t stop wondering whether the orange-haired ace hated him or not. _It’s because he didn’t protect Hinata, right? Is that why?_

      “You look like you’re ready to murder someone.” The phrase was usually said in a joking manner, but when you remembered that Kageyama was a sniper who had a large body count, it was hard to see it in the same light.

      “I’m sure you heard about what happened to Hinata.”

      “Yeah,” Daichi said. “It’s gone around the prison. He got thrown in the SHU after one day. Hey, that’s kind of like you, isn’t it? Hmm. Maybe that’s why you like him so much.”

      “I don’t like him,” Kageyama said quickly. “I just want to protect him.”

      “…because you like him.” Daichi laughed. “Man, Tobio. You’ve never been good with emotions, have you? Just admit it, you want a new friend.”

      “Or boyfriend!” Suga burst out of nowhere, swaggering towards the two with a massive grin on his face. “Ah, Tobio. Put that cancer stick away. Only because I got smoky hair doesn’t mean I need to _smell_ like smoke too, you know.”

      “At least let me finish it,” Kageyama muttered. Suga simply plucked the cigarette out of Kageyama’s fingers, only to cry out and drop it when he touched the hot part.

      “Ow, ow, ow! Dai-chan, kiss my boo-boo better.” Suga thrusted his fingers into Daichi’s face.

      “Suga, unless you have good advice, go away.”

      “Alright, alright.” Suga chuckled. “I assume you two are talking about Hinata. You’ve got yourself in a predicament, don’t you, Tobio? Wanting to protect a member of Wakunan…”

      “He’s not like the rest of them,” Kageyama insisted. “He’s emotional. He’s not a bad man. So, since I’ve got a longer sentence than him, I might as well use my time to protect someone. I kind of see myself in him. So… I just have an urge to protect him.”

      The two men were speechless. During their silence, Kageyama pulled out yet another cigarette from his pocket and went to light it, but Suga snatched the lighter out of his hand.

      “Oi!” Kageyama narrowed his eyes. He wanted his lighter. There was no point having cigarettes if he couldn't light them with anything. _Ugh_. He didn’t usually smoke so much, but when he was stressed out, the amount of discarded cigarettes by the shed would increase ten-fold.

      “Tobio…” Suga was genuinely shocked by what Kageyama had said about Hinata. “That’s unlike you.”

      “W…Whatever.” Kageyama could feel his cheeks beginning to flush bright red, which only served to make the two men even _more_ speechless. Kageyama didn’t blush often.

      “Has all that smoke gone to your head or something?”

      “Suga!” Kageyama could hear the sound of Daichi’s hand thwacking against Suga’s back. “You never know when to stop,” he added, tutting.

      “Oh, shut up Thighchi.”

      “Can I smoke now?” Kageyama held his hand out, expecting Suga to hand the lighter back to him. It took everything he had in him not to yell when Suga launched it up into the air and _right_ over the barbed fence.

      “First of all, you need to kill that habit. Don’t smoke yourself six feet under,” Suga scolded, taking the unlit menthol cigarette away from Kageyama. “If you’re going to be protecting the newcomer, don’t be a bad boy. You have to be a model citizen for the prison!” His stance was practically saying ‘you should just be like me’. Daichi rolled his eyes, but he was still watching the grey-haired male with a fond smile on his lips.

      “A murderer becoming a model citizen. That’s new.” Kageyama was still thinking about that cigarette he hadn’t finished smoking, thanks to Suga. _Maybe he should have a funeral for it_. “Now, can I have my cigarette back?”

      “Nope!” Suga tucked the cigarette into his waistband, giving the sour-faced male a big ol’ grin. “It’s time to revamp you, Tobio! I’ll give you my crash course in how to score yourself a mans 101.”

      “A mans?” Kageyama raised an eyebrow at Suga. “I don’t have any _mans_ that I want to score.”

      “Man, he still doesn’t see it, does he?” Suga rolled his eyes. “You’ve got a big ol’ stinking crush on the volleyball ace. You’re welcome!”

      “I have no interest in either men or women,” Kageyama remarked crisply. “I don’t have an interest in anything.”

      “Don’t lie!” Suga tried to karate-kick the sniper, but he simply shifted out of the way. Suga’s foot ended up hitting the shed instead. “Owwie, owwie, owwie…”

      “Suga, you’re such an idiot.” Daichi shook his head at his boyfriend.

      “Whatever.” Suga stood on his foot and tested it out on the ground a little, before finishing what he’d been saying. “Electronics interest you. You always get all dorky whenever you see new appliances.”

      “I was born a virgin and I’ll die a virgin. Now, _can I have my cigarette_?”

      “I can’t believe you admitted that so easily,” Suga said, turning on his heel. He was heading back into the prison. “By the way, I’m telling Yamamoto not to let you get any more cigarettes. You’ve been smoking packs and packs over the past few days. You can finish the pack you’ve got on you right now, but _that’s it_. You get one pack of twenty a month. So, right now, it’s March 1 st. You’ll get your cigarettes next month.”

      “But—”

      “No arguments.” Daichi was beginning to make that scary face of his. Kageyama quickly nodded and followed Suga’s lead. He could hear Daichi just chuckling behind him. Daichi and Suga really made a good duo — Suga was the pushy one and Daichi was the scary one. Even though Kageyama was considered to be the leader of Karasuno (and the prison), he wasn’t exactly lawless. Daichi and Suga were the only ones who could tell Kageyama what to do.

      “…can I have my cigarette back—”

      “No.”


	13. That's a Killer Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see the Karasuno gang eating dinner at last.

      When they neared the dinner table, Kageyama could see all the usual people sitting there. Starting from the left, there was Tsukishima sitting next to Yamaguchi. Kageyama _really_ hated Tsukishima, though. He’d seemed useful when Kageyama first recruited him for Karasuno, but the blonde had soon shown his sadistic streak. Yamaguchi, on the other hand, was a peppy guy who enjoyed all things art.

      Opposite from the two of them sat Ennoshita and Kinoshita. Honestly, Kageyama found himself forgetting that Kinoshita even _existed_ most days. On the outside, Kinoshita had been the guy ‘behind the scenes’ who gathered information on targets and rival teams. Now, he was just a quiet guy who was serving time. Ennoshita had been an aspiring director, but then he’d gotten thrown in Fukurodani. He hadn’t given up though. He fully intended on making a film about his time in prison once he got out. He spent so much time carrying around notebooks and making notes on every little thing that Kageyama was sure that he’d probably spent more time writing than he had doing anything else (including serving time itself).

      Then, there was Kindaichi and Kunimi, who were talking amongst themselves. Kindaichi was a pretty docile guy who liked to run around doing errands, whereas Kunimi was quite a sassy guy. They always talked to Kageyama with respect, though. They _had_ to. After all, he’d spared those two after annihilating the rival team, Kitagawa Daiichi. They owed their lives to him.

      Kageyama could see Nishinoya and Tanaka approaching the table from the kitchen, juggling yoghurt pots in their hands. Suga and Daichi slipped into two free spots on the table, having retrieved their trays from the dinner line. Today’s menu was rice with chicken and vegetables. For a prison dinner, it looked strangely appetising. _Thank God for contraband_ , Kageyama thought. Everyone else was subject to the same old slop, but since Yamamoto knew people, he was able to get his hands on better-quality food. While Karasuno and Nekoma were separate from one another, the two gangs were still very close. It wasn’t weird for the two to sit together every now and again, nor was it weird for them to exchange items and whatnot.

      There was one very definitive space left on the table, the centre spot. That was where Kageyama had always sat. Nobody was allowed to sit in his spot. It was one of those unspoken rules — even if he’s not in the cafeteria, you _don’t sit in his seat_. He always had Kindaichi and Kunimi on either side of him, acting as bodyguards. Kunimi was lanky, but he was agile. Kindaichi was a bit slower, but his strength was one of a kind.

      “Hey, Kageyama. Here you go!” Tanaka handed him two pots of Gun Gun yoghurt, much to Kageyama’s delight. Nothing could stop him from eating that yoghurt, absolutely _nothing_.

      “Thanks.” Kageyama slid into his seat and opened the yoghurt pot, not even hesitating to dig into the small treat.

      “Hey, Kageyama. Aren’t you going to get dinner? It’s chicken,” Yamaguchi enquired.

      “He can’t eat himself, Yamaguchi. That would be cannibalism,” Tsukishima interjected with that sly smirk of his. Kageyama stuck his middle finger up in response, which only made the blonde laugh more than he should’ve been. Tsukishima really, _really_ loved riling people up. Yamaguchi was the only man alive who could tame Tsukishima.

      “Hey, were any of you in the rec room earlier on? Apparently there was some massive news story on TV,” Ennoshita remarked, pushing his spectacles up his nose with a grin. “They found the leader of Wakunan at last. He’d been hiding out in some abandoned restaurant, but some bystander spotted him taking a piss in a nearby bush and called the police on him. I wonder if they’re going to televise the trial; it would make such great material for my film! Oh God, imagine all the different lighting techniques I could use!”

      “We don’t talk about Wakuwankers at this table, Chikara. Come on, you know that.” Kinoshita had a sour look on his face. “Have you forgotten what they did to our Narita? They tore his intestines out and hung his body parts all over the prison. But they kept his heart! The fuckers had the audacity to leave me a letter saying 'Now you'll never get his heart'. They didn’t just kill him, they _defiled_ him!” Kinoshita had spent years crushing on the ever-elusive Narita, only for Wakunan to murder the Karasuno member in cold blood. The person responsible, Izaka, had been sent to max, but it didn't do much to ail Kinoshita's irritation.

      “I know! It would make such an interesting film plot,” Ennoshita said, scribbling down more notes. Kinoshita growled, but he didn’t say any more on the subject.

      “Honestly, I don’t think it was Wakunan that did that,” Tsukishima said. “They’re lazy. You think those no-good wankers have time to walk over the prison and hang up intestines? Sounds more like Johzenji.”

      “Johzenji? They’ve never done anything to us,” Kinoshita argued. “They keep their distance. Why would they kill Narita?” He sighed. “Man, Tsukki. I thought you were meant to be smart.”

      “Don’t call me that.” Tsukishima’s facial expression went sour. “And, I don’t want to hear anything about intelligence coming from a guy who couldn’t even read the kanji for his girlfriend’s name.”

      “Shut up! Kanji has multiple readings!”

      “Just so happens that the kanji for _naka_ only has three common readings, and you still got it wrong,” Tsukishima sang, wearing that signature smirk on his face. Yamaguchi had so much pride in his eyes as he looked over at Tsukishima. He loved how confident his best friend was. Even in court, he was brave enough to sass the judge. It had resulted in Tsukishima getting an extra three years for perjury, but the blonde didn’t care.

      “Shut _up_.”

      “No wonder she’s your ex now,” Tsukishima said, _still_ pushing the subject. “What’s next, you’re going to read Chikara as Ryoku?”

      Kinoshita reached out for Tsukishima’s glasses, probably intending to break them. But Tsukishima was quicker. In a simple move, his taped fingers shot towards Kinoshita’s eyes, poking them both. He didn’t push hard enough to blind the man, but Tsukishima pushed hard enough that Kinoshita wouldn’t be able to bother him for a while.

      “Argh!” Kinoshita’s hands dove towards his eyes, covering them both as he whimpered to himself in pain. “What the fuck, man?! We’re on the same team!”

      “Stay in line, Kinoshita. You try to blind me, I’ll blind you. Remember why I’m in prison again.” Tsukishima pushed his glasses up along his nose, smiling innocently at the man who was still whimpering in pain. Somehow, the C.Os had managed to miss the event. The C.Os in this prison were _useless_. They were undertrained, underpaid and they just didn’t care.

      “Inmate! Stop whimpering or you’ll get a shot!” C.O. Ukai finally made his appearance, holding his cigarette-styled pen to his lips. Apparently he was trying to quit smoking, so it was his way of fighting the urge. “You’re irritating me.”

      Tsukishima just sat there, still smirking to himself. He’d always been one of the more sadistic members of Karasuno. As a gang, Karasuno’s objective had been to take out all of the other weak gangs and make it to the top. In order to get to the top, they all had to kill. With the exception of Kinoshita and Ennoshita, everyone on this table had killed at least one person. Even Yamaguchi, despite his cheerful exterior.

      Technically, Tsukishima had never killed a man with his own two hands. His method of killing was to kidnap the target and _goad_ them into killing themselves. Sometimes, if he was bored, he’d put the target in a carefully constructed trap and give them a limited amount of time to get out. Yamaguchi was brilliant at constructing trap plans. He’d always had an eye for aesthetics, so he’d always been able to help Tsukishima out in that aspect. Most of the time, he made it utterly impossible for a victim to free themselves. It usually involved them chopping themselves up to get keys and parts to free themselves, only to get killed in the end. The sadistic Tsukishima had derived a _lot_ of pleasure from killing that way. He’d always waved it around as one of his strengths. He was so skilled that he didn’t even have to kill his victims himself — they’d literally kill themselves. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi would just kick their feet back and watch while eating popcorn and drinking cola. Yeah, they weren’t normal. But nobody at this table could fit into the narrow definition of ‘normal’.

      Even the other Karasuno members had found his method of killing quite… strange. It was efficient and guaranteed a kill in which the victim would definitely suffer, but it took time to set up traps and to lead the victim to those traps. Plus, many of them saw killing as something that had to be done, not something that was meant to be enjoyed. Tsukishima _loved_ death. He loved the very idea of it, the concept of it. It all fascinated him. And since Yamaguchi was accustomed to Tsukishima’s strange ways, the two of them were able to be really close to one another.

      Tsukishima’s downfall was that he really wasn’t that strong on his own. Sure, he was able to use his brain to his advantage, but if he had to fight to the death with nothing but his own two hands, he’d die in less than five minutes. Although, he was too stubborn to admit it.

      “Hey, Suga.” C.O. Ukai’s eyes were set on the grey-haired male who was currently trying to steal chicken from Daichi’s tray. Once Suga heard Ukai say his name, he instantly abandoned his mission and turned to face the blonde C.O.

      “Mmm?”

      “Come with me for a minute.”

      “Sure.” Suga hurried to his feet and rushed out of the cafeteria, Ukai following closely behind him. Daichi was watching the two of them with narrowed eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Kageyama, on the other hand, was demanding that Kunimi go and get more Gun Gun yoghurt from the kitchens. Kageyama couldn’t get enough of that yoghurt.

      “Well, looks like Kageyama’s back to himself,” Tsukishima said. He looked somewhat relieved, much to everyone’s surprise.

      “I’ve always been myself. Now, can someone give me some cigarettes? And a lighter. Preferably one with flames on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation for the kanji jokes:  
> Kanji usually have two different readings, on'yomi and kun'yomi (both of which are used in different circumstances). The joke is that since 中 (naka/chuu/uchi, etc.) is a common kanji, it makes you look stupid if you use the wrong reading. So basically, Tsukishima's making fun of Kinoshita for not being able to read common kanji correctly.  
> Same with the whole Chikara/Ryoku thing. 力 can be read as chikara, ryoku or riki.
> 
> I hope I didn't confuse anyone too much, haha


	14. You Do That So Well, Don't You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT ALERT!!!!  
> [you have been warned]

      “K—Keishin,” Suga moaned, clutching on the blonde C.O’s bare back. “You’re so… naughty…” Ukai was grinding the grey-haired male up against the wall, clutching his backside as he did so.

      “They—we won’t be caught here,” Ukai whispered into Suga’s ear, gently sliding the grey-haired male’s trousers down to his ankles. Suga was hard, _really_ hard. Ukai’s breath was warm and soft against Suga’s skin, the gentle caress that Suga craved so much.

      Suga stepped out of his trousers and pressed his near-naked body against Ukai’s, joining their lips into a passionate kiss. Ever since Ukai had arrived at the prison three months ago, Suga had been unable to take his eyes off the newbie. Clearly, Ukai had been unable to take his eyes off Suga either. At the time, Daichi and Suga had been going through a rough time in their relationship. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

***

      “Should you be out here?” Ukai narrowed his eyes at the grey-haired male, who was sulking. However, once Sugawara realised who he was looking at, his facial expression brightened up significantly. His brown eyes glowed in the warmth of the sun; his lips tugged upwards as he turned to address the C.O. standing nearby him.

      “Heya! I’m Sugawara, but everyone calls me Suga!”

      “You shouldn’t be so casual with me, inmate.” Ukai was trying to sound annoyed, but he had a small smile on his face. “It’s not appropriate.”

      “It’s also not appropriate for you to be smoking out here like this,” Suga pointed out, looking around himself. The two of them were standing out by the sheds. Suga had stormed out after a particularly explosive argument with Daichi, and Ukai was just leaning against the shed, puffing on his cigarette.

      “I won’t tell if you don’t tell.”

      “Deal.” Suga couldn’t help but smile up at Ukai. The blonde seemed slightly shocked by the action, but he soon regained his usual composure.

      “So, what do you think of this place? It’s a dump, right?”

      “Mmm. I came to work alongside a friend of mine, Wakatoshi.”

      “Ah, him. We call him Statue. He doesn’t really do anything,” Suga said, shrugging his shoulders. “Although, Icicle’s even worse. Can’t blame the guy, though. He’s hard of hearing.”

      “I don’t get the things you inmates say sometimes,” Ukai murmured, taking another puff of his cigarette. “Might as well be speaking Greek to me.”

      “I could speak a lot of languages for you,” Suga murmured, moving so that he was now standing next to Ukai. “I majored in languages at uni. I almost dropped out, but I had a friend that convinced me to keep going.” It had been hard for Suga — juggling gang life with campus life — but he’d managed it.

      “Mmm. I get the feeling you’re flirting, Sugawara.”

      “That’s the first time you haven’t called me inmate. Still got a long way to go, Ukai.” Suga grinned. “Hey, what’s your first name?”

      “I’m not telling you. I’ve heard the nicknames you give other people,” he added with a dark look on his face. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be going inside? You’ve got count in…” He paused, taking a quick look at his watch. “Five minutes.”

      Suga grabbed Ukai’s free hand, taking a look at the watch. It was digital. “You’re wrong. It’s a weekend, so we don’t have count as frequently. Count would be half an hour from now, right before lunch.” Ukai had quite big hands, Suga noticed. _What could he do with those hands?_ Suga tried to blink the thoughts away, but it was pretty hard when those hands were _right in front of him_. Ukai’s palm felt smooth, while the back of his hand felt quite rough. The contrast intrigued Suga greatly.

      “I’m still learning the ropes, I guess.” Ukai chuckled. “Should I be trusting someone like you to show me around, Sugawara?” Suga still hadn’t let go of Ukai’s wrist. It felt nice, touching his skin. _No. He’s still with Daichi, isn’t he? He shouldn’t be doing this_.

      “I’m pretty reliable, if I do say so myself. I can show you things you’ve never seen before.” The words were popping out through his lips before he could even bother to regulate them. _Damnit_. Suga had been unable to take his eyes off Ukai the second he’d walked through those prison gates, but he’d never actually had the chance to have a conversation with Ukai until now. He was loving every second of it. He’d spent his time building things up — casting long glances at Ukai, ‘accidentally’ touching him, even going as far as to jerk off to the thought of him… and now, it was beginning to pay off. But at the same time, Suga was slightly scared. He was beginning to fall out of love with Daichi.

      “I think you should mind what you say.” Ukai smirked. “You’re not allowed to take your offer back if I accept.”

      “I don’t plan on declining you, Ukai-chan.” The _chan_ slipped out through his lips before he could even think about it, but the effect it had on the blonde seemed to be quite profound. Ukai’s face broke into a massive blush, much to Suga’s delight. Taking advantage of the moment, he plucked Ukai’s cigarette out from his lips. Ukai’s eyes watched Suga carefully as he put the cigarette to his lips, taking a short puff. It felt atrocious to Suga, but he wanted to seem cool.

      He placed the cigarette back in Ukai’s parted lips, before letting his hand travel down from his face, to his shoulder, all the way down to his hand. “Although, if you keep that smoking up, I might have to.”

      “S…Suga…”

      “I’ll see you later, Ukai-chan. And _I’ll find out your first name_.” Before the blonde could respond, Sugawara had already begun to flounce back towards the prison, wearing a big smile on his face.

***

      And now, he was here.

      “Fuck, Keishin!” The name slipped out from Suga’s lips as the C.O. began to work his own lips against Suga’s length, slobbering and licking wherever he could. He was good with his mouth, _really_ good. Every now and again, he’d pull back to remind the grey-haired male that there could still be people walking around, but Sugawara would soon forget the warnings. He was too focused on the way that Keishin’s tongue lapped over the tip, again and again, before engulfing his length whole.

      “A…Ah…” Sugawara was holding onto Keishin’s head, although he was making a conscious effort not to pull on his hair too hard. He didn’t want to hurt Keishin. It was strange. Sugawara had known Daichi for twenty long years, and they’d loved each other for a lot of those years. But, he somehow felt like he was more in love with Keishin at this moment than he was with Daichi. _God. I’m fucked up, aren’t I? I’m cheating on my boyfriend and all I can think about is how much I want Keishin_ , Sugawara thought.

      “You okay?” Keishin had stopped sucking. He was now looking up at Sugawara, who was now wearing a troubled expression on his face.

      “Yeah.”

      “Hey, don’t lie.” Keishin got to his feet and put his hands on Suga’s shoulders, placing a kiss on Suga’s forehead. It was ridiculous how he felt so much for Suga. He had been a bit of a loser. He’d been so fixated on ‘getting rich quick’ that he hadn’t bothered with relationships. But then he’d met Suga and forgotten about his money schemes. He just wanted Suga. _But Suga’s an inmate_.

      “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to cry right now,” Suga admitted. “It’s awkward if I start crying while we’re both naked, right?”

      Ukai chuckled. “I’ll give you a pass.”

      “You know best.” Suga leaned into Ukai’s lips, kissing the blonde-haired C.O. as tenderly as he could. Their lips slipped together like puzzle pieces; their hands interlocked as Ukai gently led Suga against a wall, silencing his whimpers with the touch of his lips.

      “Hey, Suga…” Ukai kissed the tear running down Suga’s cheek, causing the smaller male to laugh. “This might be a bad time to tell you this, but I really fucking love you.”

      “Oh God.” Suga knew what he was meant to do. He was meant to say that he was with Daichi, that he couldn’t betray his childhood sweetheart any further. But all Suga could do was wrap his arms around Ukai even tighter. _I don’t know if I love him_ , Suga thought. _I care about him, but I don’t know if I love him_.

      “It’s alright if you don’t feel the same. After all, we won’t be able to be together normally as long as we’re in this prison together,” Ukai murmured, letting out a sad sigh. “How many years is it, again?”

      “Well, I’m twenty-eight right now. I got my nineteen year sentence seven years ago. The official reason was that I’d been connected to a murder scene, but it was really because they were cracking down on gang members,” Suga confessed. “So, I have twelve years left. I’ll be forty when I get out… damn. That’s _old_.”

      “Well… at least we’ll see each other around every day. You don’t get in trouble, so I won’t have to punish you.” Ukai took Suga’s nose inbetween his fingers and twiddled it, smiling when Suga wrinkled his nose at him.

      “Well, I’m asking you to punish me in the nicest way possible.” Suga kissed Ukai once again, sighing happily against the blonde’s lips. He was happy, _so_ happy. He loved the danger of being with Ukai, he loved how energetic he was when it came to being with him.

      Ukai was beginning to grind his hips against the grey-haired Suga, who was softly moaning against Ukai’s lips as he began to edge a lube-slicked finger into Suga’s behind.

      “Ah! When did you even get lube— _oh_ ,” Suga groaned, throwing his head back as the blonde continued to meet his every expectation. “Fuck, Keishin… you’re so good…”

      “Shh, Suga,” Keishin chided, biting on his own lip to stop any especially loud moans from escaping. It wouldn’t be too long before someone decided that they wanted to come down to electrical to get some work done. Right now, everyone was in the dinner cafeteria, so the two of them were alone. They probably had twenty minutes left, possibly thirty if they were lucky.

      “Can you thrust your finger right there?”

      “Like this?” Keishin curled his finger, then extended it, the motion smooth and sharp. The moan that Sugawara let out was so loud that Keishin had to cover Suga’s lips with his own. Keishin spanked Suga once, causing him to bite down sharply on Keishin’s lips. Keishin wasn’t fazed, though. He could feel Suga’s thighs beginning to tremble against his.

      “K…Kei-chan… I’m close,” Suga murmured, clutching onto the blonde’s broad back. He could feel his cock rubbing against Keishin’s. He’d never tried it before, but it felt _good_. Really, _really_ good. Keishin was touching his grey-haired Suga with the utmost tenderness, being harsh yet loving as he slipped yet another finger inside of Suga.

      “Come for me,” Keishin whispered, bucking his hips against Suga. “Ah… you’re perfect…” The breathy words were enough to tip Suga over the edge. Burying his head into Keishin’s shoulder, he cried out his release, arching his back sharply as he came.

      “Kei-chan…” The older man let out a deep groan as he came too, clutching onto Suga’s body even tighter. The two of them were breathing heavily as they recovered, but they both had smiles on their faces. Even if they were in a freezing cold room with come dripping down their bodies, they were still somewhat happy.

      Keishin eventually spoke after their heavy breathing had died down. “You okay, Suga?”

      “Fantastic.” Suga got on his tip-toes and leaned up for a kiss. Keishin was more than happy to oblige. Their lips meshed together. It was messy and their noses were bumping all over the place, but it was passionate. “I think… I think I might love you too,” Suga said once they’d pulled away from one another.

      “Hey. You’re in no rush to decide.”

      “Who’s rushing?” Suga rested his hands against Keishin’s abs, smiling at the way they felt under his hands. They still had traces of come covering them, which made Suga even happier. “If anything, we need to decide how we’re going to clean this up.”

      “They say two positives make a positive,” Keishin suggested. Suga looked down, groaning when he saw that the blonde was already beginning to get hard again.

      “Are you for real? Does your cock just defy life or something?” Suga couldn’t believe how much stamina the blonde had. Suga wouldn’t be able to get hard for at _least_ the next two hours or so, yet here was Keishin, clearly not struggling on that part.

      “Well… it’s kind of my first time doing this kind of thing,” Keishin admitted, a pinkish blush beginning to spread across his cheeks. “So… I guess I have more energy than usual…”

      “See, and you always act like the laziest C.O. around.” Suga dropped to his knees, looking up at the blonde with a seductive look in his eyes. While Suga usually looked innocent with his wide brown eyes and cute little mole on his face, it was that same innocence that could make him look so _sexy_. Suga knew that he was fine; he didn’t intend on acting otherwise. “I think it’s up to the inmate to teach you a lesson, huh?”

      “I never imagined you’d be like this,” Keishin admitted, putting his fingers into Suga’s hair. It was soft underneath his hands, soft and silky under his touch. It felt nice. “So utterly _kinky_.”

      “You’re welcome, Kei-chan.” Suga took Keishin into his mouth, feeling instant gratification when the blonde moaned straightaway. It was easy for Keishin to hide his arousal when _he_ was in charge, but when Suga took over, he was willing to do whatever it took to get his lover to be as loud as humanly possible. The only thing that turned him on just as much as being touched was hearing moans. Moans turned Suga on to the point where he could probably come just from listening to them.

      The ground was beneath Suga, his hands were clutching onto Keishin. They were so close, so _close_. Suga would most likely come to regret this once the arousal wore off, but right now, all he could focus on was getting this blonde hunk to fall apart from the touch of his lips alone.

      “You taste so good, Kei-chan.”

***

      It was late when Suga finally decided that it was time to take a shower. Even though the hot water had probably been used up by all the morning people, he didn’t care. Cold water was better for his skin anyway. He was relieved to see that the Karasuno showers were empty. Usually, Kuroo would sneak into them (even though Nekoma had their own showers) and masturbate there since "the jets are better". He simply dropped his towel in a random spot and sashayed over to the nearest shower cubicle, turning on the jets (or rather, sprinkles) of water. They trickled onto his hair, down his body and to the ground.

      Once he’d made himself comfortable and slathered some soap all over his body, he began to sing some Beyoncé songs to himself. He always felt sexy whenever he listened to the musical legend, after all. Suga’s singing voice wasn’t too bad, actually. It was a little rusty, but it was by no means _bad_. With a bit of polishing, he could easily make his way into the musical industry. Or at least, that’s what he’d like to think.

      “Take all, of me, I just wanna be the girl you like,” Suga sang, twirling and sashaying around the small cubicle. He loved being able to shower alone so that he could be cringey without being judged.

      However, he froze when he heard someone singing those exact words back to him.

      “Eh?” Sugawara peeked out from his shower curtain, looking around to see if anyone was there. It was just Daichi, standing there in his birthday suit. _Oh no_. Usually, Suga would’ve been happy to take the chance to shower with Daichi, since it was rare that the two were able to share a cubicle, but he couldn’t do that. He _couldn’t_. Not when he’d just been with another man.

      “Partition,” Daichi said, walking towards the shower cubicle. “You usually sing that when you’ve got something on your mind. What did Cigster want?” Cigster was the universal nickname for Keishin, since he always toted around that cigarette-styled pen of his. Suga was the reason he did that… the thought was enough to put a smile on his face. But then he remembered that he was still talking to Daichi.

      “Oh. I made a mistake in electrical, so I had to go and fix it. I linked up some wires wrong. You know, blue wire, red wire, that shit.”

      “Right.” Daichi had now slipped into the cubicle with Suga, taking the bar of soap out of his hands. “It’s been three minutes and you haven’t said something to piss me off yet. What’s up, Suga? You’ve been off for a while now.”

      “I’m on my period.”

      “You’re a man!”

      “I'm on my man period,” Suga insisted, folding his arms at Daichi.

      “Come on. I’m being serious,” Daichi said, poking Suga’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. I’m just worried about Tobio.” It wasn’t _really_ a lie. Sugawara was worried about the dark-haired man. He was just more focused on the blonde he’d just spent a good length of time with, that’s all. “Hey, can you soap my back for me?”

      “Sure.” Suga turned around, allowing Daichi full access to his back. He began to rub the soap into Suga’s back, slowly beginning to get rid of the kinks. If only it were able to get rid of Suga’s sexual kinks, too. That would make life a lot easier for both Suga _and_ Daichi.

      “I think Tobio will be alright,” Daichi eventually said. “We’ve dealt with it. He seems more like himself now. He’s probably still worried about Hinata, though. You know how Tobio is, he overthinks a _lot_ of things.”

      “Yeah.” Suga chuckled.

      “Hey, you know we’ve got the showers to ourselves?” Daichi placed the bar of soap into the soap holder before letting his hands slide down Suga’s frame. His hands settled at Suga’s ample backside. Playfully, he smacked his boyfriend’s butt, chuckling when he heard Suga’s yelp. But then, Daichi’s eyes zeroed in on the very distinct red mark which stood out on Suga’s otherwise clear skin. It was on the opposite cheek, the one Daichi hadn’t touched. He froze for a few moments, letting his brain process the information. He’d seen this happen before, usually after spanking Suga a couple times too many. But that mark hadn't been there when they'd taken a shower together in the early morning.

      “Hey, what’s up?” Suga wheeled around, slightly concerned when he saw that Daichi looked perplexed. “Did I yelp too loud? You know I’m bad at staying quiet.”

      “No. I… I’m going to get dried up. They’re showing that movie about Tsukishima tonight,” Daichi said. “I just remembered. Ennoshita was fanboying over it.”

      “Heh… alright then. Want me to come? I can dry up now.”

      “No, it’s fine. Carry on with your Beyoncé.” Daichi let himself out of the shower cubicle, leaving Suga with a perplexed expression on his face. He stood there, letting the water run over his body for a couple of minutes. Then, he continued to sing Beyoncé songs, making an active effort to stay in tune while holding a bar of soap to his lips as a microphone. Suga couldn’t wait for the day when his twelve years of prison were up. Once he left, his gang life would be history. He could go to the toilet without having to ask C.Os for permission. He could _live_. Although, he’d been here for so long that he wasn’t even sure if the sky would look the same once he left. His life was changing, more and more than he could’ve ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if I just made all of you hate Suga


	15. The Story of a Sadist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi's frustrated, so he goes to Kageyama's favourite spot. (Of course, Kageyama's already there smoking a menthol cigarette.)

      Once the movie rolled to an end, the whole movie theatre burst into applause. Kageyama had been roped into seeing the documentary entitled ‘Tsukishima “Jigsaw” Kei: The Story of a Sadist’. While Tsukishima had been in Karasuno, just like Kageyama, Kageyama didn’t actually know much about how Tsukishima operated. So, even Kageyama found himself clapping when the documentary ended. But he was gritting his teeth, overcome with a sudden wave of jealousy. _I want a movie about me_ , he bitterly thought.

      “I wish I’d been able to direct this,” Ennoshita muttered, a dark look on his face. Yamaguchi had a proud look in his eyes. He’d been featured in the film as Tsukishima’s right hand man. Daichi looked pissed, _really_ pissed. Kageyama was surprised when he saw that Suga wasn’t sitting beside Daichi. The two were near inseparable; they always had been. But lately, the two of them hadn’t been hanging out together as often.

      Turning his attention back to the screen, Kageyama could see that the credits were still rolling. The prison guards usually showed movies like this to discourage the inmates from becoming more like these ‘cold-blooded criminals’, but they failed to realise that the inmates were there _because_ they were cold-blooded criminals. Kageyama suspected that someone would inform them sooner or later, but until then, he’d enjoy his weekly Saturday dose of crime movies.

      “Alright, alright. Everyone back to their dorms,” C.O. ‘Cigster’ Ukai said, switching on the lights and looking around the room. He appeared to be looking for a specific person, his sharp eyebrows furrowed together as he looked around. He frowned. Kageyama figured that Cigster probably hadn’t seen the person he’d been trying to find. But then his eyes drifted over to Daichi, who was glaring deeply at Cigster. _Did something happen?_ Before Kageyama could ponder over the thought, he could feel his two bodyguards urging him forwards.

      “Let’s go, Kageyama,” Kindaichi said.

      “Yeah, alright.” Kageyama began to move out of the room, the events of the movie still bumping around in his head. _Tsukishima’s a real sadist, isn’t he?_ But even with the masterpiece of a movie in his mind, his thoughts kept drifting back to Hinata. His brain wouldn’t allow him to forget the orange-haired ace.

      Meanwhile, Daichi was still hanging around in the movie room, glaring hard at Ukai. His feet wouldn’t let him move. All he could think was, _what’s he done to Suga?_ Sure, Suga and Daichi had been together for a long twenty years. They’d had arguments, disagreements and Suga would have occasional hissy fits. But Daichi had never even _thought_ about the possibility that Suga might fall out of love with him. He’d also never thought about the possibility that a C.O. might be the reason for that. At least, until now.

      “Inmate. Is there a problem?” Ukai moved from the front of the room and approached Daichi, whose jaw was clenched tight in frustration. He didn’t know what to do. _Should he interrogate Ukai, or should he interrogate Suga? Or should he just keep it to himself?_

      “Nothing.” Daichi forced a smile on his face.

      “Alright. Well, could you do me a favour?” Ukai pulled out a piece of paper, folded and sealed with a piece of tape. “Hand this to Suga if you see him. It’s his work assignments for the week,” he explained. _Oh, so he calls him Suga too_. Daichi could feel himself burning with jealousy. He’d never felt so angry in his entire life. He just wanted to punch that lazy look off the C.O’s face, but he knew that he’d end up in max if he did that. Plus, he had to set an example for his quirky friend, Tobio.

      “No. I won’t be seeing him this week.”

      Ukai looked visibly surprised. “Oh. Right. Well, thanks anyway.”

      It was then that the other two guards who had been standing by the exit came over, giving Daichi a look of disdain. Well, Guess Monster looked at Daichi like he was the scum of the earth while Aone looked at Daichi with that same scary stare of his.

      “Inmate. Is there a problem?” Guess Monster sometimes had a sing-song way of speaking. Songs were meant to cheer people up, but he just made songs seem like the most immoral thing ever to exist.

      “No. I was just leaving.” Daichi walked out of the room. He could feel the anger just steaming right off his body, a thick cloud of seething anger that just followed him wherever he went. _Fuck_. He slammed his fist against the wall as he walked in the opposite direction to the dorms. Count would probably be in a couple of minutes, but he didn’t care. He just needed to _breathe_ right now.

      Daichi found himself making his way outdoors, headed straight towards the sheds. Nobody had ever gone to the sheds until Kageyama arrived to Fukurodani Penitentiary. The sheds became his little safe place where he could just smoke and calm down. The habit had spread to the rest of the Karasuno members, including Daichi. It was no surprise that Kageyama was there, leaning against the shed while burning through yet another cigarette.

      Kageyama’s eyes met Daichi’s. He blew out some smoke and nodded in greeting, a gesture which was returned by Daichi.

      “Can I have one?”

      Kageyama raised an eyebrow at Daichi, the motion just as fluid as usual. “You smoke now?”

      “No. But I want one.”

      “Suit yourself.” Kageyama pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. Daichi noticed that it was a fresh box, most likely a little gift from Yamamoto. Even though the energetic cook would never admit it, he had a soft spot for Kageyama, even despite his cold personality. As a fellow smoker himself, he knew that it was hard for Kageyama to just cut himself off from smoking all of a sudden.

      Daichi placed the cigarette between his parted lips. Kageyama lit it for him and slipped the lighter back into his pocket. Daichi noticed that Kageyama had got his hands on a new lighter. It had cartoon flames on it.

      “I thought Suga hated smoking."

      “He does.” Daichi took in a deep breath, only to splutter with all the smoke coming out of his mouth. He almost dropped the cigarette, but he grabbed it once again at the last second. “Oh, _God_.”

      Kageyama dryly chuckled. “Some smoker you are.”

      “Indeed.” Daichi righted himself again and took another puff of the cigarette. He blew out the smoke in a wobbly line, although it was a lot better compared to his last attempt. “This stuff tastes foul. Why’s it so cold?”

      “It’s menthol. The taste grows on you. It’s a smell I know well. It reminds me of life on the outside,” Kageyama admitted. There was a wistful look in his eyes. Kageyama remembered the days where he carried around his beloved sniper assault rifle in its own polished wood case; the days where he wore cashmere shirts and smoked only the best cigarettes out there. The days where he could call himself the king of everything.

      Daichi sighed. “I think we all miss Karasuno life. You know, there was that one hideout we had in Sendai where we all just roomed together and made jokes all day. You used to act like you didn’t care for any of it, but you did really. Didn’t you?”

      “Well, I’ll admit. It grew on me,” Kageyama admitted.

      “See? You’re such a tsundere.” Kageyama simply puffed out a straight line of smoke in response. Kageyama had been smoking cigarettes for so long that he could _communicate_ in cigarette. One short puff meant _yes_ , a long puff meant _no_. Multiple puffs meant _maybe_ or _whatever_. Kageyama could make his puffs waver, spin and he could even change their direction depending on the brand. He was a true cigarette master.

      “I just miss being a sniper. It’s the only thing I know,” Kageyama admitted. “I’d spend ages learning how to assemble and disassemble rifles, I’d learn about all the distinctive features and how to use them to my advantage and… I don’t know. My rifles were the most important thing to me, and the police seized them all. Although, they didn’t get the self-defending rifle.”

      “Self-defending?”

      “A couple of weeks before my arrest, I was finalising a prototype for a rifle that could protect itself. It works using my fingerprints. If it senses fingerprints that aren’t mine, it self-destructs. It was still a bit rough, but it was all starting to come together,” Kageyama explained. “I was getting my hands on the last few parts to protect the rifle itself when I got arrested. I went back to the old hideout and the police were just… there.”

      “So, where’s this rifle now?”

      “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

      Daichi could tell that the man was serious. Kageyama didn’t play around when it came to assault weapons. He’d always been so passionate about all sorts of technology and electronics, so it made sense that he wanted to keep it all to himself. “Ah. Well, maybe if we were to escape from this place, you could finish it.”

      “Escape?” Kageyama’s cigarette had burnt all the way down. He flung it to the ground, stamped on it and pulled out another new cigarette. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of that menthol. Every time he tasted it, he was able to remember every last detail of life on the outside. He missed it; he missed it so much. He hadn’t changed since coming here. To Kageyama, prison just seemed like a waste of time.

      “Yeah.”

      “Are you Nishinoya or something?” Kageyama put the new cigarette to his lips and quickly prepared his lighter with deft fingers. Once the end of the cigarette was burning with that same ol’ orange crust, Kageyama shoved the lighter back into his pocket and let his hands drop down to his sides.

      “No. That boy just does it for a joke,” Daichi said, chuckling at the thought of it. Every year, Nishinoya would attempt to escape the prison. He’d spend time preparing a little escape spot in the prison, whether it be through the sewage system or the prison garden. Then, on his birthday, October 10th, he’d execute the escape plan. His goal was to see how long he could hide before being caught. For the first few years, he’d gotten caught before he’d even had a _chance_ to execute the plan, which was disappointing. But now, he was able to go missing for a week straight before being found. He always got an additional sentence of three years upon being caught, but it didn’t faze him. He’d just break out again next year and hope that he’d never get caught. It had even become somewhat of a national holiday in the prison. October 10 th had been dubbed ‘Escape Day’. The guards didn’t know — at least, not yet. It was all very low-key. But, on October 10th, at least half of the inmates were planning to do a ‘mass escape’. Kageyama was actually intrigued to see how that would turn out. Chances were that some people would get shot, but maybe some might actually manage to escape. Who knows?

      “I don’t need any more time on my sentence. I just want to smoke these menthols and bide my time,” Kageyama said. “I mean, the C.Os here are useless. I can't trust them to defend me or my people. I do that myself. Johzenji go raping the newcomers all the time but they don’t even get in trouble. And then there’s Hinata.” Kageyama had rage burning in his eyes, probably even hotter than the end of his cigarette. He blew out a large, thick cloud of smoke, only for it to dissipate into the night sky.

      “I get you. The C.Os in this place can fucking _choke_.”

      “You sound unusually vicious,” Kageyama remarked. “Something happen? You wouldn’t be missing count right now unless it was important.”

      “You’re missing count too!”

      “I get away with most things. Remember?” Kageyama smirked. It was a rare expression on the dark-haired male’s face, but it suited him. Most of the time, Kageyama just wore a dark scowl on his face. People around him had learnt that Kageyama suffered from a severe case of ‘resting bitch face’. Kageyama wasn’t a bitch. He was just a bit… peculiar, judging by how much he enjoyed the art of sniping.

      “You haven’t even been in the prison for that long!” Daichi frowned. “Why do you get more privileges than anyone else? You’ve even got the Kitagawa bodyguards.”

      “I have bodyguards because I got jumped once,” Kageyama reminded Daichi. “Remember? Yuutarou and Akira came to me right after and offered me their protection. In return, they got a seat at our table. They got a place in our dorm. They’ve offered me their protection to this day. I’m not as strong as I used to be,” Kageyama admitted, the frustration evident in his voice. He’d lost the little muscle he’d built up before coming here. While he was able to scare people with his demeanour alone, he wasn’t actually that strong. Like Tsukishima, he wouldn’t last five minutes in a fist fight.

      “Oh. Yeah.” Daichi blinked at him. “I forgot about that.”

      “Anyway, what happened with you and Suga?” At the mention of Suga’s name, Daichi forced out a thick cloud of smoke. He could feel those cigarettes burning in his lungs. The smoke felt good, so _good_. It helped him to take his focus away from the lingering pain in his heart.

      “He’s cheating on me.”

      Kageyama’s cigarette dropped out from his lips. He didn’t move to stamp it out until he noticed that the grass beneath him was beginning to set on fire as well. “What?”

      “He’s cheating on me.” Even after repeating it twice, Daichi didn’t believe it. But, he couldn’t deny that Suga had changed ever since Cigster had entered the prison. Today had only confirmed his suspicions. _Suga didn’t love him anymore_.

      “Fuck…” Even Kageyama was speechless. All he could do was pull out his box of cigarettes, hand Daichi two fresh ones and place the box back in his pocket. “I don’t have any spare lighters, but ask Yuutarou. He keeps them spare for me.”

      “I think I understand why you insist on smoking yourself six feet under,” Daichi said, salty tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. “Fuck. It hurts.”

      “S…Should I talk to him?”

      Daichi shook his head hurriedly. “No. Let him keep fucking around with Cigster.” It was becoming hard for him to speak. He felt like all the smoke had formed a lump in his throat, preventing him from speaking. Although, he wasn’t sure if speaking was the right thing to do. “They’ll get caught sooner or later. If a mere inmate like me can notice, the higher-ups can.”

      “You don’t need to be mature about this.”

      “Huh?”

      “Be childish. Smash things. Shout. Just be _human_ for once, damnit.” Kageyama sighed. “I know it sounds hypocritical coming from me, but you’ve always been so composed about everything. I can tell you’re pissed, but even now you’re trying to be reasonable. Don’t.”

      “…are you okay?” Daichi was staring at Kageyama with wide eyes. It was his turn for his cigarette to drop from his lips. Chances were that the grass would be littered with cigarettes by the end of the night. _Oh well. Blame it on the guards_. “You just gave _advice_.”

      “Snipers have to be good at reading people,” Kageyama explained. “I read human behaviour. That’s probably why I seem so robotic. I know it, but I can’t fix it.”

      “You’re not robotic. You’re just not good at emotions. Man, you are a hypocrite.” Daichi slapped Kageyama’s shoulder, earning himself a surprised gasp from the dark-haired male. “I would’ve thought that you’d be used to my shoulder slapping by now.”

      “Nah. I don’t get used to things. I just stop caring.”

      Daichi would’ve responded, but it was then that a loud siren began to play over the intercom. It was the same siren that came on whenever inmate count didn’t reflect the official numbers recorded. It was usually so loud that people couldn’t even _attempt_ to speak over the siren. The both of them rolling their eyes in sync, they got onto the ground, holding their hands over their ears as the grass began to tickle their exposed areas of skin.


	16. Your Mixtape's Trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PFFT, you thought Kageyama was scary?¿¿? look at Iwaizumi lmao  
> also, Daichi's a badass. everyone's a badass. three cheers for haikyuu!!! (oh, and some cigarettes for Kageyama.)

      First thing next morning, Daichi and Kageyama were called up to Oikawa’s office. No doubt, it was about their escapade the night before. They’d eventually been discovered by Guess Monster, who had been trying to find a rare beetle outside. He’d recently got into beetle collecting, since the man needed a hobby. It just so happened that he’d discovered the two missing inmates lying down on the grass. _And_ the cigarettes surrounding the two. They’d each been hit with three shots. One for not being in their dorms, one for having contraband on them and one for littering. The both of them were lucky that Guess Monster hadn't given them an extra shot out of spite otherwise they'd both be in the SHU right now. Well, Daichi would. Kageyama would manage to wiggle his way out of things.

      Right after Guess Monster discovered the two, there had been an unannounced contraband search. They’d seized quite the collection of butt plugs and nipple clamps from under Suga’s bed, much to the grey-haired man’s annoyance. Kageyama had almost started a fight after they dared to search _his_ room and take all seven packs of _his_ cigarettes. After much bargaining, he was able to keep his MP3 player, but he was still angry about the loss of his cigarettes. Chances were, the guards had a massive pile of sex toys, cigarettes and pornographic magazines in the staff room. They’d probably take their pick of what they wanted and have their fun with it. After all, the guards had had fun handing out shots and trips to the SHU for all the contraband they’d found. Everyone would most likely hate Kageyama even _more_ once they discovered that he was the one who hadn’t been in his dorm for night count. They wouldn’t hate Daichi though. Most people liked Daichi since he was usually responsible and kind towards everyone.

      “What were you two _doing_?” Oikawa was attempting to sound intimidating as he scolded the two inmates who had been daring enough to skip night count. However, Oikawa was the furthest thing from intimidating. All Kageyama could see was the same old grown man who acted like a lovesick thirteen-year-old the second Iwaizumi entered the same room as him. “Why would you skip count like that?”

      “We were just talking about the C.Os and October—”

      “Idiot!” Daichi was about to slap Kageyama’s shoulder, but he noticed Oikawa’s cool brown eyes, watching the both of their actions closely. He let his hand drop by his side instead. “You’re not meant to actually tell him!” Daichi knew very well that Kageyama wasn’t the best at following social cues.

      “Ehh…?” Oikawa rose an eyebrow at the two in interest. “What about October?”

      “Nothing!” Daichi and Kageyama yelled simultaneously.

      Oikawa tilted his head up at the two, making himself seem even taller than was necessary. “I already know what’s happening. We’re not idiots. We just get more money if we bust loads of prisoners on Escape Day. That’s why we let it happen.”

      Kageyama was genuinely surprised. “Well, I’m not planning to escape or anything—”

      “Of course not, Tobio-chan. I won’t let you escape,” Oikawa said with a bright grin. But then, his eyes darkened, making his grin appear more menacing. “I’m not done torturing you yet.” Oikawa could be even _more_ of a sadist than Kageyama sometimes. If it weren’t for Oikawa’s ego, Kageyama might have found a friend in the eccentric counsellor.

      “Is that his idea of flirting,” Daichi hissed, putting a hand to his lips so that Oikawa couldn’t see his lips moving.

      “I heard that!”

      “You were meant to!”

      “Ah. Should I give you a shot, Daichi? I understand that the both of you have four shots right now. If you end up in the SHU, it will greatly impact the chances of either of you two getting early release,” Oikawa said, stroking his imaginary beard. In fact, the guy had some stubble growing there.

      “Ugh,” Kageyama muttered under his breath. “So _fucking_ irritating…”

      “What was that, Tobio-chan? I heard _fucking_. Is that _your_ idea of flirting, or…”

      “Kusokawa!” Iwaizumi stormed into the room out of nowhere. The sound of his voice alone was enough to startle the two younger men, who froze in their seats. “Can you stop sending me your mixtapes? They’re trash!”

      “I’m busy, Iwa-chan. We can talk more about my mixtapes later,” Oikawa said, suddenly going into fanboy mode. He might as well have had hearts in his eyes as he gazed at the spiky-haired counsellor. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to punch Oikawa.

      “Oh. You two are the ones who weren’t around for count yesterday.” Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the two of them. They sat up, keeping their backs as straight as they could. Iwaizumi could be down-to-earth when he wanted to be, but it was an unspoken fact that you _did not fuck around with Iwaizumi_. The guy was a regular at the gym who could probably knock out most of the try-hards in the prison with nothing but his bare fists.

      “Y…Yes.”

      “I’m guessing this fucktard over here hasn’t bothered to give you an actual punishment yet, so here you go. Both of you, you’re on toilet duty. You wake up at six in the morning and you scrub those toilets until I can see my damn face in them.”

      A shiver went up both of their spines. Even as murderers, the two of them couldn’t help but be intimidated by Iwaizumi. The man knew how to handle himself. Kageyama could easily see Iwaizumi being the leader of his own gang. Kageyama took a quick glance over at Oikawa, slightly surprised when he saw that Oikawa didn’t seem to be intimidated by Iwaizumi. He was just making puppy eyes at the spiky-haired counsellor.

      “We understand Sir, yes Sir!”

      “Daichi, calm down,” Kageyama hissed.

      “Also, Kageyama. I understand you haven’t been assigned any sort of prison job due to the things you do for the prison,” Iwaizumi said. “But if you get another shot, I’ll make sure that changes. Sawamura, you’re alternating with Sugawara on driving. If you get another shot, I’ll make sure you never touch another steering wheel.”

      “Understood,” the two inmates chorused.

      “And last of all, do you understand how late all of us had to stay to find and interrogate your dumb asses?” Iwaizumi’s eyes darkened, only further emphasising the shadows he had underneath them. “I don’t care if your mother’s dying. If the guards say it’s count time, _it’s count time_. Get your ass to your dorm and stand still. Understood?”

      “Yes,” the two of them responded. Daichi looked like he was about to piss himself, whereas Kageyama looked quite unsettled. The two counsellors were so different. Oikawa was just straight-up annoying, whereas Iwaizumi went in _hard_.

      “Why do you listen to him but not to me?” Everyone turned to face Oikawa, who was wearing a bratty pout on his face. “All he does is yell and flail his fists about. Although, I must admit, you’ve got me pretty hot right now.”

      “Kusokawa! Why are you killing my flow, idiot?!”

      “Because you killed my asshole last night! What did it do to you, huh?”

      “Maybe if you weren’t such a pain in my ass I wouldn’t have to be a pain in yours!” Daichi and Kageyama exchanged awkward glances before slipping out of the room, leaving the two in there to bicker. They walked down the hallway for a while, neither of them speaking until they’d put a good distance between themselves and the counsellors.

      Kageyama ran a hand through his already bone-straight hair, slicking down any stray strands. He repeated the action, again and again. “They’re so similar.”

      “One’s scary _scary_ , one’s scary _stupid_.”

      The two of them laughed, clutching their chests while they laughed. “Honestly, we’ve known each other for years but we’ve never talked like this,” Kageyama admitted. “You’re different when you’re not around Suga.”

      At the mention of Suga’s name, Daichi’s smile faltered a little. _Well, Daichi was right. Kageyama can’t read social cues_. “I guess.” The two of them would’ve continued their discussion if not for Cigster, who was approaching them with a bored look on his face.

      “Oi, inmates. It’s breakfast. Make your way over to the cafeteria.”

      _And my fist will make its way over to your face if you keep messing around with my man_ , Daichi thought. He quickly shook the thought out of his head, but he knew that he couldn’t ignore it forever. He needed to talk to Suga properly, and he needed to do it _fast_. But he couldn’t bear to look Suga in the eye right now. He felt so _hurt_ , seeing those comforting brown eyes gleam with admiration for a man that wasn’t him. Daichi had only ever had eyes for his Suga. While Suga had always been flirtatious with other people, Daichi hadn't been too bothered about it since he'd always believed that Suga would remain devoted to him. He'd never expected Suga to take his flirting one step further.

      “ _Inmate_.” Cigster took a step towards Daichi, who had his head lowered and his fists clenched. He was thinking about Kageyama’s words. _Be childish. Smash things. Shout. Just be human_. The more he mulled over the words, the more they seemed to make sense.

      Daichi rose his head to look Cigster in the eye at last. The look in his eyes was probably pretty scary, judging by how the blonde reacted. “Stop talking down to me like that.”

      “Do I need to give you a shot, inmate? Cafeteria. _Now_.”

      Kageyama was standing next to Daichi. He could tell that Daichi probably wanted to get confrontational with Cigster, although he didn’t blame him for it. He’d just stay out of the way. Well, unless Daichi started threatening to kill him. That kind of stuff would get him sent to max. Max was a bad, _bad_ place to go. Shinzen Maximum Security Prison, known colloquially as max, was a place where you weren’t allowed to interact with other inmates. You weren’t allowed to speak any foreign languages _at all_. And the guards would treat you like scum on the bottom of those overly thick leather boots they wear. Once you go to max, you’re never coming back.

      “Shut up.”

      “Inmate, you need to—”

      “Shut up!” Daichi grabbed the man by his collar and thrust him up against the wall. He was acting before he even knew what he was doing. Kageyama went to pull Daichi back, but he could feel himself being pushed out of the way by someone else.

      “Daichi, what the hell are you doing?” Suga pulled Daichi off Ukai’s body, looking at his boyfriend in disbelief. “Do you want to go to max?”

      Daichi surveyed the scene. There was Kageyama, who was clutching onto the wall after being pushed by the surprisingly strong Sugawara. Ukai, who couldn’t keep his eyes off Suga — even in a situation like this — and there was Suga, who was giving Daichi a disappointed look that made his heart ache. _I can take a lot of things, but I can’t take you giving me that look_ , Daichi thought.

      “Fuck.” Daichi took a deep breath in, deep breath out. He’d learnt that if his mind didn’t clear after breathing, then it meant that whatever his mind was telling him was right. Right now, his mind was telling him to avoid violence. He couldn’t let himself go to max. He _couldn’t_. But the one thing he could do was tell the truth. So, that’s what he did.

      “I feel so stupid,” Daichi began to say. “I only ever got myself involved in gang stuff because you insisted on it, and now I’m in prison. I thought we’d be together forever, Sugawara.”

      “Don’t. Don’t call me Sugawara,” the grey-haired man said, his eyes beginning to widen. “You’ve never called me that. Why start now?”

      “Well, you’ve got _him_ calling you Suga now, don’t you?” Daichi forced a smile onto his face. “Clearly, twenty years means nothing to you. Fuck you, Suga. And fuck you too,” he added, his eyes glancing up to Ukai.

      “Wait, Dai-chan—”

      “I was willing to go to prison for you. I… fuck. I killed a man for you. We’ve been together since childhood.” Daichi put a hand to his forehead, steadying himself as he spoke. “I’m so _angry_. But I can’t do anything. I can’t. All I can do is accept it as life and move on. But I don’t _want_ to, alright? Why, Suga? Why?”

      “I… It doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” the grey-haired man eventually managed to stutter out. “I… I just…”

      “Yeah. It means that you hate me.” It was taking every single inch of Daichi’s pride not to burst into tears right now. He didn’t cry often, but right now, it was all he could do. Twenty years of wasted time. Lost opportunities, lost _everything_ , all because he couldn’t stay away from the ever-dangerous Sugawara. And now it was all beginning to backfire on him. “But, hey. The second you two get found out and he becomes an inmate too, I’ll kill him. I killed one man for you, Suga. I can kill another.”

      Kageyama’s eyes widened at the death threat. “Oi, Daichi—”

      “Tobio, leave it. I’m done.” Daichi walked off in the direction he’d come from, dragging his feet against the ground as he did. He’d never felt so depleted in his life. He’d known Sugawara twenty years. _Twenty years_. They’d loved each other for so long. But he’d dropped twenty years of memories for twenty minutes of bliss in some storage closet with a guy he barely knows. Sugawara. He’d dedicated his entire life to the grey-haired guy because it was all he knew how to do. Sugawara. He protected him, he cherished him and even though Suga got on his nerves, he didn’t care. He _wanted_ that.

      “Interesting. So, this is what’s happened in my absence.” A mysterious figure clad in a dark coat walked forwards, putting a hand on Daichi’s shoulder to stop the agitated male from leaving. “Inmates cursing off at correctional officers and correctional officers fucking the inmates. And not just any correctional officer. My grandson.”


	17. Fuck It, I'll Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi's a badass. Even when he's in pain, HE'S A BADASS.

      “I…uh…” Keishin’s face blanched. He hadn’t been expecting this to happen first thing in the morning. He was still groggy from being made to stay at work later than usual last night. As a result, he’d gone to bed even later than usual.

      “Keishin. I want to see you in my office. _Now_.” The man turned his attention to the other inmates who were watching the scene with interest. Quite a crowd had begun to gather. “And all of you, unless you want to end up in the SHU, go to the cafeteria. _Now_.” The crowd began to scatter away hurriedly, but Kageyama, Suga and Daichi were still there. And of course, Ennoshita was still peeking at the small group from behind a corner, making frantic notes about what was happening. The mysterious man still had his hand firmly clamped on Daichi’s shoulder, which probably meant that he still wanted to talk to Daichi about something. Daichi and Suga had no idea who this man was. _Was it a new C.O.?_ He wasn’t wearing the blue uniform though. Kageyama was very well-acquainted with this man, just like Keishin was. It wasn’t often that he came by the prison. He’d been in hospital for quite some time after a disastrous fall which had resulted in a broken leg and a fractured hip bone. He’d made it out of hospital a couple of weeks ago, but that didn’t mean his body wasn’t still aching.

      “Did I stutter?” The man removed his grip from Daichi’s shoulder and approached Kageyama and Suga, who were standing nearby one another. “Get. To. The. Cafeteria.”

      Kageyama didn’t want to go to the SHU. But, he knew that Daichi was in trouble. He wouldn’t let Daichi go down, not like this. Suga was still standing beside him, not letting his stance falter in the slightest. While Kageyama didn’t approve of Suga’s actions, it didn’t change the fact that Suga was the one that had saved him. Along with Daichi.

      “No.” Kageyama stepped forwards. “I can’t leave without Daichi.”

      The man’s jaw tightened as he watched Kageyama, who was performing a rare act of compassion. It was rare that he’d get himself in trouble at the expense of someone else, but right now, he seemed to be doing it pretty often. “Kageyama. Maybe you run things around here, but I’m the _reason_ you can do that. So, you better turn heel and _walk_ , boy.”

      “Reason?” Suga’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Wait… you’re the warden? The one who ended up in hospital?”

      “That’s a shot for you, old man.” Suga’s cheeks flushed at the nickname he’d been given. He remembered being made fun of in junior high because of his grey hair, but ever since then, nobody had ever poked fun at his hair. At least, until now.

      “Old man? Your hair’s even greyer than mine is, grandpa.”

      Daichi was _itching_ to tell Suga to shut up like he usually did, but he just couldn’t. Whenever he did, the two of them would start bickering and right now, Daichi just wasn’t in the mood for it. He wanted to go. But he couldn’t help but be shocked at the arrival of the warden. Most of the inmates didn’t even know who he _was_ , save for the people that had been here for years and years.

      “That’s another shot. Get out of my face.”

      “I never knew wardens could give out shots,” Suga sang, beginning to twirl around and walk as he spoke. “Then again, I don’t really give a fuck.”

      “Sugawara, stop it,” Keishin said, wearing a panicked look on his face. This was meant to be the part where Daichi would apologise on Suga’s behalf, but he still couldn’t speak. He was just burning with so much rage that he felt like he’d spit venom all over people the second he opened his mouth.

      “Warden Ukai.” C.O. Ushijima was walking over to the scene, his eyes narrowed at all the inmates surrounding him. “Is there a problem here?”

      “Take this inmate to the SHU.” He jerked a thumb over at Sugawara. “Take him, too.” He turned his gaze on Daichi, who was _still_ too busy seething with rage to actually notice what was going on around him.

      “Wait, please.” Kageyama put his hand up, waiting until everyone had stopped talking. The only reason they’d stopped talking was because it seemed _weird_. Kageyama really was awkward, wasn’t he? Putting his hand up as if he were in school, speaking to the warden as if he were a teacher… although, you could say that he _was_ a teacher. The warden put a lot of emphasis on respect, after all. “I have something to say.”

      “Say it then,” the Warden said, waving his hand about in annoyance.

      “Daichi did nothing wrong. I don’t think he deserves to go to the SHU. Sugawara’s an idiot, but he doesn’t deserve to go to the SHU either.” Kageyama nodded his head. “That’s all.”

      The four men blankly stared at him, looking as if they’d just had their brain cells decimated. Warden looked like he’d had the holy ghost torn out of his body; Ushijima just _always_ looked like that; Daichi looked like he’d just seen a spider and Suga looked utterly confused.

      The warden was aware of all the inmates who were peeking at them from behind corners, tittering and giggling to themselves. Chances were that by the time that it was lunch, everyone would know that Sugawara was fucking Keishin.

      “Warden. Should I escort these inmates to the SHU?”

      The warden was quick to bark a “Yes” at C.O. Ushijima, much to Kageyama’s distress.

      “Wait, you can’t—”

      “Tobio, don’t. If you talk back you’ll end up in the SHU too.” Daichi’s shoulders slumped as he walked over to C.O. Ushijima. “I’ll be out soon. It’s fine.”

      Kageyama couldn’t stop remembering how Hinata had looked after going to the SHU. He’d been held there for almost a month and when he’d finally made it out, his face had been bloodied and it seemed that Hinata saw Kageyama as an enemy. He couldn’t take the same thing happening to his lifelong friend.

      “No. Warden, I respect you and everything you’ve done for this prison, but I can’t respect this decision. Daichi has done _nothing_ but stand up for what he believes in—”

      “Inmate! You are prisoners! You are imprisoned! You forfeited your rights the second you decided to break the law,” Warden bellowed, the veins popping out of his head. “You serve your time, and you do nothing more. Do you want me to throw you in the SHU with the rest of them?”

      “Wait, old man. That’s a bad idea,” Keishin began to say. “The prison will fall apart if you do that—”

      “If the prison falls apart, that means that it’s the staff’s fault. If they can’t control these prisoners, then they can go somewhere else.” Warden’s snow-white hair was beginning to frizzle. Kageyama could tell that he was getting angry, _really_ angry.

      “Well, since I’m going to end up in the SHU anyway, I might as well do this.” Before anyone could react, Daichi walked up to Keishin and launched his tightened fist at the blonde’s face, causing him to stagger back. There was a loud yelp of protest from Suga. C.O. Ushijima was there in an instant, restraining Daichi by holding his arms behind his back (not to mention, he was doing it so tightly that Daichi felt like the C.O. would break his arms off) but it didn’t matter. Daichi didn’t plan on doing anything else. Keishin’s nose was beginning to drip with blood and his face had gone bright red. All he could do was hold a hand to his nose and wait for the pain to pass. As much as it hurt, Keishin couldn’t blame Daichi. He knew that what he’d done with Suga was wrong. But Keishin knew damn well that he’d do it again and again if he got the chance. He’d fallen in love with the grey-haired kinkster, despite the many times he’d tried to ignore those feelings. He loved Suga.

      “That felt good.” Daichi looked up at the shocked inmates, who were beginning to gather at each end of the hallway. Then, he burst into manic laughter, laughter that sounded almost like he wanted to cry but couldn’t. “Fuck. Well, I just punched a correctional officer. You going to send me to max now? Might as well add a few additional years while you’re at it, huh?”

      “Daichi! Why are you being so childish?!” Suga ran up to Daichi, touching each of his hands to his shoulders. “This isn’t like you.”

      “I’m taking Tobio’s advice.” He looked up at Kageyama, who was still wide-eyed with shock. “Hey, Tobio. You’ve grown a lot since coming here. You’re the last person I’d expect to risk SHU just to defend someone, let alone me. So, thank you.”

      “W…Wait… Daichi," Kageyama stuttered. "You…”

      “I know how to handle myself.” The man forced a smile on his lips as C.O. Ushijima began to cart him down the hall. He was trying to turn Daichi around, but he wasn’t having it. Daichi wanted all his friends to see him take his punishment, take it with pride. “Tobio. Don’t let yourself end up in max. Do your time and do it well, do you understand?”

      “You’re my friend!” Kageyama ran up to Daichi. “Stop trying to act tough! Apologise! Fight for it, damnit! I know you’re pissed about Suga but _you’re going to regret this_. You only have six months left of your sentence, Daichi. Six months. You want that to change into six years?”

      “Well. I feel like I raised you,” Daichi admitted. C.O. Ushijima was still dragging him, apparently immune to the events occurring. “So, I should stick around to raise you from the ground even further. We’re Karasuno. We don’t fall; we rise. Higher, higher and higher. I might be falling now, but fuck it. I’ll go back up.”

      A loud sob could be heard from Suga. The grey-haired man was regretting everything he’d ever done. He was regretting all the times he’d fantasised about Keishin rather than Daichi. He was wishing that he’d left Keishin alone; he wanted to take all of it back. He still loved Daichi.

      “Daichi,” Suga said, rushing towards him. However, another C.O. had arrived to restrain him. C.O. ‘Icicle’ Aone. Somehow, he was always nearby when drama was happening.

      “You two are going to the SHU, right? Save your theatrics for the van,” Warden said, looking thoroughly pissed. He’d gotten so angry that his face was flushed bright red and his wrinkles looked like they’d crack his face open any second.

      The two were dragged out through the door at last, leaving Kageyama, Keishin and the Warden standing in the middle of the hallway. Of course, there were still countless inmates watching the scene. Kageyama was pretty sure breakfast was long over. He was also pretty sure he didn’t give a damn about breakfast.

      “Keishin. Come to my office.” Warden began to walk away. Keishin was hurrying behind him, trying to keep up with the old man’s fast-paced walking. Now, Kageyama was standing there alone. He really _was_ alone. Sure, he had the other members of Karasuno and his bodyguards, but they weren’t really friends. Suga and Daichi had been like parents to him, really. They’d always had his back. They’d always given him good advice. Kageyama couldn’t imagine a world where he couldn’t go to Suga and Daichi for advice. But right now, he was living in that world.

      “Kageyama.” Kunimi appeared by Kageyama’s side. Kindaichi was also running down, wearing a flimsily-wrapped band around his hair. “Sorry. We had to go down to see Iwaizumi. Did something happen?”

      “No, nothing of note.” Kageyama shook his head. “You two can go ahead. I’m going to medical.”

      “Oh. You’re still taking your meds? I thought you were going to try and get off them,” Kindaichi reminded him.

      “I was wrong. I need them.” There was one time where Kageyama had stopped taking his medication, insisting that he’d be fine. During the time that he hadn’t been taking his medication, he saw hallucinations and became even more reclusive than usual. Plus, he always got hot flashes. He couldn’t bear it. He’d lasted four days before finally caving in and taking the meds once again. They made him feel somewhat normal. Not normal, but they made him feel like he could function.

      “Oh. Well, we should walk you to the medical room at least,” Kunimi insisted. “I overheard something about some guy from Shiratorizawa wanting to jump you.”

      “Let him. He’ll learn first-hand what I’m capable of.” Kageyama turned away from the two, making his way down to medical. “You two, go to Taketora. He’ll give you a token of my appreciation. Also, he’ll give you some Gun Gun yoghurt. Bring it to my dorm room.”

      “Are you sure we shouldn’t accompany you, Kageyama?” Ever since getting jumped, Kageyama had _always_ been seen with those two dark-haired men. But recently, he’d been hanging out by himself more and more. He knew that Kunimi was asthmatic, so he couldn’t smoke around him. And while Kindaichi didn’t mind smoking, Kageyama just preferred to be alone.

      “Yes, Yuutarou. I’m sure. I’ll be in my dorm room after going to medical,” Kageyama said. “I won’t be coming down for lunch today. I might skip dinner, too. So, consider today your day off.”

      “Excuse me for saying this, but you’ve been skipping dinner and lunch a lot lately. You can’t survive off Gun Gun yoghurt, Kageyama. You’ve got to eat,” Kindaichi insisted. Kageyama was slightly taken aback by the younger man’s concern for him. Their relationship had been a little rocky at first, although Kageyama understood why. Kageyama had killed off most of Kindaichi’s gang for ‘disrespecting him’ and destroyed their hideout. However, over time, it seemed that Kindaichi had learnt to tolerate the sniper’s often-cold personality.

      “Alright. Escort me to the cafeteria at dinner, then. I’ll pass on lunch.”

      “Alright. See you later, Kageyama.” Kindaichi bowed his head once, along with Kunimi. Then, the two of them hurried off in the opposite direction. Kageyama turned on his heel and made his way over to medical, this time without interruption.

***

      “How was your breakfast, Hinata-kun?”

      “It was okay.” The ace was beginning to regain some of his former energy, although he still felt very much drained. “Tamago gohan’s my favourite. It’s not as good as when my mother makes it, but it still was nice. My throat doesn’t hurt as much now.”

      Takeda came over and cleared away the tray of food for the bed-bound Hinata. It was a few moments before he returned with a cup of water, handing it out to him. Hinata took it, glugging the clear liquid down his throat in a record speed of two-point-three seconds.

      “Thanks.” Hinata handed the paper cup back to Takeda.

      “You’re welcome.” Takeda smiled. “Now, Hinata-kun. I understand you were an athlete on the outside, right?”

      “Yes. I had a very specific dietary plan,” Hinata explained. “I’d wake up every morning to run around the nearest park for a bit, then I’d go and grab a protein shake from the nearest supermarket. I usually tried to eat and drink things full of electrolytes and proteins.”

      “So, you’ve been struggling with adjusting to this new prison diet. It makes sense. That’s the first time you’ve eaten without throwing up, I think.” Takeda retrieved a paper and read through it, adjusting his wide-rimmed glasses. “Yeah. It is.”

      “Well, my chances of becoming an athlete are gone, so. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Hinata smiled, although it was a pretty sad smile. It didn’t have the usual energy it’d had when he was on the outside. “It’s only been a month and my body’s been treating me horribly. I don’t feel strong anymore.”

      “Well, according to the tests I took, you had been eating next to nothing in the SHU. Starvation for that long can lead to rapid weight loss,” Takeda explained. “Lethargy and loss of interest in things can also follow. In other words, you may be experiencing a form of acute depression, although I'll need to observe you for a little bit longer before I reach a conclusion. How do you feel, Hinata-kun?”

      “Weak.” Hinata still had his six-pack — that wasn’t going anywhere — but he knew that he would begin to lose his muscle if he didn’t work out in some way. He remembered Suga saying that there was a running track. He didn’t ask the grey-haired male if there was a gym in the prison, but it didn’t matter. He could ask once he was well enough.

      “Alright. I’m going to keep your dosage the same. You’re not hurting too much, right?”

      “Not physically.” Mentally, Hinata felt like he could die any second. That was the one place that no doctor could reach with pills, liquids or whatever fancy medical tools they’re wielding. They could cut his brain open and they still wouldn’t be able to stop him from feeling any pain. (Well, unless it kills him.)

      “Alright. Well, I’m thinking that you should be able to leave around Thursday. That’s in four days’ time,” Takeda said. “You’re recovering well.”

      “Oh, right.” Hinata clambered out of bed, stretching his legs experimentally. Takeda had instructed that Hinata should try and get used to using his legs so that it wouldn’t be too hard for him to transition back into the usual flow of the prison.

      It was then that Kageyama entered. However, Hinata was too fixated on his feet to notice that Kageyama had entered the room. Kageyama’s eyes glanced over at Hinata for a couple of moments, before shifting to regard the doctor standing in front of him.

      “Ah, Kageyama-kun. I’ve got your medicine right here,” Takeda said, rushing towards a nearby cabinet and grabbing a paper cup with the pills inside. “Wait. Have you eaten anything?”

      “Yes,” Kageyama lied. Hinata looked up from his feet, his head whipping around to face Kageyama. Kageyama was slightly aware of Hinata’s eyes on him, although he chose to focus his attention onto Takeda, who was explaining the benefits of taking medicine after eating. He was a kind guy, but he could ramble on for quite a bit.

      “Alright. Well, here you go, Kageyama-kun.” He handed the pills to Kageyama, who downed them all in one go. Takeda then handed him a cup of water, which went down along with the pills. Kageyama could feel his mind beginning to clear as the effect of the pills sunk in, numbing his brain. He felt good.

      “Thanks.” He turned away from Takeda and looked over at Hinata, who was still looking at Kageyama. Kageyama felt pleased for a few moments, but when he noticed a faint shadow of fear in Hinata’s usually bright eyes, he felt disappointed once again. He felt alone. “I’ll see you later, Takeda-sensei.”

      “Mmm.” Kageyama moved out of the room, his feet carrying him straight to his dorm room. When he thought about it, he was lucky to be in a minimum-security place like this, considering all the crimes he’d committed. But _because_ of the crimes he’d committed, it allowed the staff to throw both him and everyone else around as if they didn’t matter. One wrong step in life leads to eternal judgement from everyone around you. That was what the dark-haired man had learnt in his seven years at Fukurodani Penitentiary.


	18. They Call it SHU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to be with you, but I want to be with Keishin as well."  
> Suga breaks Daichi's heart without even realising it, and Tsukishima makes Kuroo's heart go 'doki doki' without realising it. Yeeahh, these men are oblivious as fuck. In other news, Kuroo could probably get a professional career impersonating people.

      He was thrown onto the concrete ground unceremoniously and kicked. Then, the doors slammed shut. For a few moments, all Daichi could do was wonder where he’d gone wrong. He’d loved Suga with all his heart; he’d always put Suga’s needs before his. He’d treated Suga well. But it wasn’t enough for him, was it? And now he’s ended up in the SHU because he couldn’t control his emotions. He doesn’t even know if his outburst will end up with Keishin losing his job. Either way, Suga probably hates him for ruining his chance with the hunky blonde. But to be honest, if Suga hated Daichi, it would make it easier for Daichi to hate him back.

      It was then that Daichi heard Suga’s low singing voice, slow and sensual. At first, Daichi thought he was just imagining it since he’d heard Suga sing so many times, but then his eyes glanced upon the air vent in the room. It was situated by the futon — well, they call it a ‘futon’, but it’s really just a thin blanket, a chunk of cardboard and a paper-thin pillow on the ground.

      Daichi crawled over to the vent and put his ear right up against it. He spotted a beetle crawling nearby, so he simply slammed his fist against it and left it dead on the ground. However, he’d gotten beetle gunk on his fist and there was no toilet paper around to wipe it off with. So, he began to make sounds of disgust while trying to get the gunk off his fist.

      “Wait, is someone there?” Suga had stopped singing. Daichi froze, contemplated his options. He could tell Suga it was him and have an awkward conversation with him. He could choose not to respond and hope that he starts singing again. Or, he could pretend to be someone he wasn’t.

      “No, it’s just a ghost,” Daichi responded sarcastically. “The ghost of the man you killed.”

      “Daichi.”

      “Oh, that wasn’t a good impersonation? I was going for Tsukishima.”

      Daichi heard the low sigh of Suga. There was some shuffling on the other side. Silence. Shuffling, then silence.

      Finally, he spoke. “You shouldn’t have punched Keishin.”

      Daichi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So, I should’ve just stood aside and let my boyfriend fuck another man? Is that what you’re telling me, Suga?”

      “No, I’m telling you that you don’t punch C.Os in front of the warden. Fuck, Daichi, that’s irresponsible. Especially for you. You’ll end up in max. You’ll get extra time on your sentence. What are you thinking?”

      “What the fuck am I meant to think, Suga? I was angry, alright? I wasn’t thinking straight! Fuck!” Daichi punched the wall nearby him, transferring the beetle gunk onto it. “I’m moving my futon away from this vent. I can’t believe you right now…”

      “Wait, Daichi. I… I still love you.”

      “Fuck you.”

      “No, no. Wait. I was planning to talk to you about it—”

      “No you weren’t! I heard you two in electrical, telling each other you loved each other. Alright?! I went down because I remembered that I’d stashed a wooden plank to trade with someone for some chocolate bars, but then I heard you. I heard you, Suga.” Daichi was shaking as the words replayed in his head, those same words he’d whispered to Suga so many times. _I love you_. “Maybe you’re the one I should’ve punched. I can’t blame Keishin for falling for someone like you, can I?” Daichi let out a bitter laugh. “Fuck. If you’d do it with him, then does that mean you’ve done it with other people? Tsukishima, maybe? He’s blonde. You got a thing for blondes, Suga?”

      “I’m sorry for hurting you, alright?! That wasn’t my intention!”

      “Is this the part where you break up with me? If not, just hurry it up.”

      “W…What…” Suga’s voice had dropped in volume. It was so quiet that Daichi had to press his ear up right against the vent just to hear it. “You don’t want to be with me?”

      “You can’t be fucking serious.” Daichi shook his head at the vent in disbelief. “Fine. I’ll do it then. We’re over, Suga. Have fun fucking him while it lasts!”

      “Daichi!”

      “No, no. You clearly don’t want to be with me—” That was when Daichi’s door slammed open, revealing a disgruntled-looking guard. Daichi inched away from the vent, but it didn’t do much to wipe the irritated look off his face.

      “Shut the fuck up, inmate!”

      On the other side of the vent, Suga still hadn’t realised that Daichi was getting scolded by the guard. So, he yelled out one single sentence. “I want to be with you, but I want to be with Keishin as well.”

      The sentence made Daichi’s jaw tighten with frustration. _Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him_ —

      “Inmate!” The guard walked towards him and grabbed the sitting Daichi by the collar, forcing his head up at an awkward angle. “If you and butt fluff in the other room don’t shut up, I swear to God I’ll make sure the both of you end up with extra time!”

***

      “They’re _what_?”

      “They’re in the SHU,” Kindaichi said. “Daichi and Sugawara.” His words set off a chain-reaction of chopstick-dropping around the table. Karasuno and Nekoma were sharing a lunch table. Or rather, they’d pushed their tables together so that they could talk without having to get up and walk over to each other. Kageyama’s middle seat was empty, although nobody was surprised. Meanwhile, Ennoshita was simply scribbling down notes in his notebook like usual. The man had insanely neat handwriting.

      “Where’s Kageyama,” Tsukishima asked.

      “In his dorm room,” Kindaichi responded.

      Yamaguchi pulled on Tsukishima’s shoulder to catch his attention. “Wait, wait. Tsukki, Kindaichi just said that Daichi and Sugawara are in the SHU and all you care about is Kageyama?”

      “Well, the man’s been going on a downwards spiral for a while. He’s been losing weight recently,” Tsukishima remarked. “He’s the one who brought Karasuno together. Can’t have him dying on us, can we?”

      Kuroo’s eyes widened. “Was Tsukishima just _nice_?”

      “Kuroo, go away. Don’t you have men to flirt with?”

      “Yes, you.” Kuroo winked at the blonde, whose cheeks were slightly tinged pink with embarrassment. It could’ve easily been attributed to the coldness in the cafeteria, though.

      “Guys, this is not the time!” Yaku took an angry bite out of his egg sandwich. He’d drizzled it in ketchup, and olives which he’d sourced from commissary. “Why are they in the SHU?”

      “I want to know about Kageyama,” Kenma said.

      “Me too,” Kinoshita said.

      “Me three,” Kuroo drawled. “If ‘Shima here wants to know, so do I.”

      “Don’t call me that.”

      It was then that Asahi and Nishinoya came over to the table, holding two trays of freshly baked cookies in their hands. “We got chocolate chip, boys!” Nishinoya took his tray and threw it to the table. Surprisingly, it hit the table perfectly, sliding until it reached Nekoma’s side of the table. Asahi calmly walked over to the table and placed the tray of cookies down.

      Everyone turned to face the two cooks. “Thank you!”

      “Ha-ha, you’re welcome.” Nishinoya tilted his head up to the ceiling, wearing a proud smile on his face. “I tasted one. They’re good.”

      “I… I just put them in the oven and took them out,” Asahi murmured, looking down at the ground. “Noya did all of the work.”

      “Hey, guys! Don’t leave me out of it!” Yamamoto began to sprint down to the table, the tassels on his apron flying as he did so. “I chopped the chocolate!”

      “Idiot! Who’s managing the kitchen? Look how long that line is,” Nishinoya scolded. “Get back!” The line wasn’t even that long since nearly everyone had gotten their food. There were three, four people left. However, Nishinoya was known to exaggerate things quite often.

      “Wait, Taketora,” Kenma said. “You’re good with Kageyama, right? How’s he been?”

      “Well, he’s been asking for more cigarettes and Gun Gun yoghurt than usual. He went from asking for two boxes of cigarettes to _six_. That’s per week. And the Gun Gun yoghurt, he asks for three whole boxes of twenty-four rather than one.” Yamamoto sighed. “I haven’t seen him recently. Where _is_ he?” His eyes were glued to the empty spot at the table. On a table that could seat twenty people, there were only fourteen. Yamamoto, Tanaka, Asahi and Nishinoya worked in the kitchens, so they didn’t need seats. But Kageyama should’ve been in that middle seat.

      “In his dorm room,” Kindaichi responded. “I took the yoghurt up to him. He just sits in there using his MP3 all day while eating yoghurt.”

      Yamamoto looked over to the exit. There were two C.Os standing there, Icicle and Statue. Then, he looked back over to the Karasuno/Nekoma table where everyone had stopped eating. Well, everyone except Ennoshita. He just didn’t care as long as he got himself an interesting movie plot. “Oh…”

      “I’m sure he’s not doing good right now since Daichi and Suga are gone. He was really close with them,” Tsukishima said. “We need a reason to get him out of his room. I don’t want him to do something stupid.” Tsukishima didn’t want to believe that Kageyama could be capable of committing suicide, but the sniper had never really had an interest in anything. Realistically, it was possible. It was very possible.

      “It’s Ryu’s birthday tomorrow! We’re making birthday cake,” Nishinoya said, slapping a proud hand to his fist. “But, we can only do that if Taketora gets his damn ass back to the kitchen!”

      “Sexist,” Yamamoto muttered as he slunk back over to the kitchen. “I know my face might look feminine, but that doesn’t mean I have to do all the cooking and cleaning around the kitchen.”

      “Nah, you want feminine, look at Shiratorizawa. They’re practically Johzenji bait,” Yamaguchi pointed out, earning himself a boisterous bunch of laughs from the entire table. However, a nearby member of Shiratorizawa happened to overhear Yamaguchi’s remark. It was a guy with a dark bowl cut — and he was giving Yamaguchi one of the darkest glares known to man. Shiratorizawa were known for their intimidation. They could intimidate anyone, _anywhere_. There were rumours that they’d even intimidated the judges into reducing their sentences.

      “Yamaguchi, you become more and more like Tsukki as the days pass,” Kinoshita remarked.

      Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Don’t call me that.”

      “Come on! Tsukishima is too long, man. Why’s your name so long?”

      “Says the one named Tetsurou,” Tsukishima responded dryly.

      “My name has one, two, two, three kanji! Yours has one, two, four!”

      “So now I’m sitting around idiots that can’t even count.” Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Say, Kuroo. Did you really kill twelve men or did you mistake the number for one-point-two?”

      “Say, _Tsukki_. Do you realise that you sound like a clock when you do all that tongue clicking?” Tsukishima shot Kuroo an irritated glance, while the other was smirking right back at him.

      “They’re going to be fucking by the end of this month, I’m telling you now,” Ennoshita said. His statement was met by various snorts of laughter from around the table — and of course, the vicious glare of Tsukishima. Yamaguchi, on the other hand, seemed quite proud that his best friend Tsukishima had finally found a man he seemed to be interested in.

      “I don’t have any interest in fucking a man who looks like a rooster personified. Acts like one, too.”

      “Oh, come on. You’re secretly loving this look,” Kuroo drawled. “Or am I just too hot for you?” Ennoshita wasn’t even trying to hide his interest anymore. He was just scribbling down notes frantically. Then, he’d look up for a few moments, observe everyone’s movements and then scribble down some more.

      “Kuroo, go shove a cucumber up your ass or something. I’m sick of you being horny all the time,” Yaku snapped, throwing a chopstick at the rooster-haired male. “And can someone _please_ tell me why Suga and Daichi are in the SHU?”

      Ennoshita put his hand up. “Give me a second, I know.” He began to flick past a couple of pages in his notebook, scanning each kana until he discovered the relevant bunch of pages. “Alright. It appears that Suga was cheating on Daichi with C.O. Ukai. So, when Daichi found out, there was an explosive confrontation which resulted in Daichi punching Ukai in front of the warden. And as you all know, C.O. Ukai is the grandson of the Warden Ukai, so it’s pretty inevitable that Suga would end up in the SHU for fucking him, and Daichi for punching him. Chances are that they’ll end up going to max unless Kageyama somehow manages to talk Wardy-boy out of it, which he most definitely will. He’ll probably threaten to induce a riot if Warden doesn’t let them out of the SHU anytime soon. I was thinking for this plot, I could get a lil’ foreshadowing—”

      “Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me Suga, as in Sugawara Koushi _Suga_ , cheated on Daichi. His boyfriend of twenty years. He cheated on him.” The pupils had practically disappeared from Yaku’s eyes, although everyone else on the table was wearing a similar expression. Hearing it twice didn’t make it any easier to believe. The two had seemed like they were so much in love; you couldn’t help but wonder if it was all just some sort of April Fool’s prank. However, it was March 2nd today, far from being April Fools.

      “Yes.” Ennoshita closed his notebook. “Judging by Daichi’s unusually violent reaction, we can infer that Suga fucked the C.O.”

      “He’s going to get even more years on his sentence…” The colour had drained from Tsukishima’s face. If _Tsukishima_ was concerned, you knew that something was definitely wrong. “Idiot. Daichi’s not stupid. Why would he do that? In front of the _warden_?”

      “Love makes you do crazy things, _Tsukki_.”

      “Stop _calling_ me that.” Tsukishima looked like he wanted to throw his sandwich at the smirking Kuroo. Although, I don’t think anyone would’ve blamed him. Kuroo had a flair for getting on people’s nerves when it counted the most.

      “The most important thing is Kageyama. Like Tsukki said, he’s the one who brought Karasuno together. We can’t let him go downhill. Kindaichi, make sure he comes to dinner today. Drag him to the table if you have to,” Ennoshita ordered. “I can’t have the protagonist of my film dying, can I?”

      Kinoshita’s shoulders were slumped in defeat. “You really are an asshole…”

      “What? I’m an asshole for wanting to turn Kageyama into a superstar?”

      “Wait, don’t be an asshole. Kuroo will fuck you, you don’t want that,” Kenma joked.

      “There’s only one man I’d like to fuck.” Kuroo wasn’t even _trying_ to hide his numerous glances towards Tsukishima. Everyone at the table couldn’t help but enjoy the sight of their flirting. The usually impenetrable Tsukishima was actually _blushing_. It was a rare sight that everyone was taking mental screenshots of. There was no doubt that they’d all tease Tsukishima about it at a later point.

      “Inmates. Stop standing around.” C.O. Ushijima was now standing by the table, his hand gripping the baton in his belt. _The man’s really going to baton inmates for standing up?_

      “If Suga was here, he’d probably say something like _you’re standing around though_ ,” Kuroo said, pulling off a near-perfect impression of Suga’s voice. Kuroo was strangely good at impersonating people. Statue glared at the rooster-haired man, but he removed his hand from his baton.

      “Yeah. I told you to get your ass back to the kitchen, Taketora,” Nishinoya scolded, grabbing the man by his shoulders and tugging him back to the kitchen. Asahi was following closely behind. Once Statue was satisfied that nobody else was standing up in the cafeteria, he retreated back to the exit of the cafeteria, simply standing there and watching everyone with those same cold eyes.

      “Oh shit, I forgot Azumane was there,” Yaku said. “He’s really quiet, isn’t he? I can hardly believe someone like him is in Karasuno.”

      “He was in charge of driving getaway vehicles. You know, after we trash rival gangs up, we need a man to come and save us. Asahi was the _man_ ,” Yamaguchi explained. “However, he accidentally killed two men one day. He was trying to evade police, dodged some spikes and took out the police car behind him. Two policemen died, one instantly and one in hospital. The law caught up with him just a couple of months later after a jewellery heist we pulled. He even moved to Hokkaido, but they still managed to catch him and bring him all the way back to Tokyo.”

      “Shit man, I wish _I_ could’ve killed the policeman that arrested me for shoplifting.” Yaku’s facial expression darkened. “It sucked, because I was getting away with all the gang shit I was doing but then I got caught stealing a fucking _cologne box_ of all things. Then, they found out about everything else and threw me in here. Forty-one years left.”

      “Well, maybe you shouldn’t shoplift. Asshole.”

      “Shut up, Kuroo!”

      “Open in, Yaku.”

      “That doesn’t mean anything!”

      “This _does_ nice nothing.”

      “Asshole.”

      “Dick not-hole.”

      “Kuroo, go away. All you’re doing is starting arguments,” Kenma said.

      “Kenma, you’re meant to be on my side.” Kuroo pouted. “I was your first kiss, remember? We were trying to figure out what we liked. We came to the conclusion that you like video games and that I like dick.”

      “If I had a single yen for every time that I’ve heard you say the word _dick_ , I would’ve been able to pay my way out of here by now.” Everyone turned to face Kageyama, who had quietly slipped into his seat amongst all the arguing.

      Kuroo smirked. “And what time do you call this, Kageyama?”

      “Well, according to my MP3, it was twenty-one minutes past twelve when I left my doom room. So, nine minutes until the end of lunch.”

      “You should go get some food,” Yamaguchi said, pointing to his own empty tray. “They have sandwiches today. Some jelly, too.”

      Kageyama shook his head. “No, I’m not hungry. I’m just here because I wanted some water,” he explained, holding up a paper cup full of water. “Smoking really dries out your throat after a while.”

      Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Kageyama. Go get a sandwich.”

      “I just said I’m not hungry. Are your ears working, Tsukishima?”

      “Yes, but your heart won’t be if you don’t fucking eat something,” Tsukishima snapped. He had an irritated look on his face, almost like he was ready to force the sandwich down Kageyama’s throat. “Sandwich. Now.”

      “You’re so hot when you’re angry,” Kuroo whispered. Since the entire table had gone quiet, it was easy to hear the perpetually-horny Kuroo.

      “Kuroo, _shut up_ ,” the whole of Nekoma said, face-palming themselves in irritation. Kuroo _really_ didn’t know when to quit it.

      “I don’t want a sandwich.” Kageyama sipped on his water. “I’m saving room for the nabemono at dinner. I’ve always been a fan of it.”

      “You need to… Kageyama, you—you… agh!”

      “Tsukki, don’t push it,” Yamaguchi said, putting one hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder. “He said he’ll eat at dinner.”

      “Yeah, he says that, but we don’t know if he will.” Tsukishima pushed his tray towards Kageyama. There was a neat cube of untouched jelly left on it. “Eat. Or I’ll find all your cigarettes and crush them in front of your eyes.”

      “Tsukki, you’re such a sadist…”

      Kageyama was glaring down at the sizable cube of jelly in Tsukishima’s tray. “I don’t want to catch your sadism,” Kageyama finally said, pushing it back to Tsukishima. “I’ve finished my water. I’m going to medical.”

      “Wait, idiot—”

      “Tsukishima.” Kinoshita reached his hand from across the table to put it on Tsukishima’s shoulder, stopping the blonde from going after him. “Leave it.” Kageyama could be seen talking to the two guards at the exit, C.O. ‘Statue’ Ushijima and C.O. ‘Icicle’ Aone. Moments later, they moved aside to let him leave.

      Tsukishima slapped both their hands off his shoulders before letting out a growl of annoyance. “For fuck’s sake, don’t you guys see that this is serious? You’re telling me to leave it now but when he’s in medical because he’s so skinny his body can barely function, you’re all going to be like _we should’ve done something_ and _I wish we’d helped him earlier_. _He’s_ too busy flirting with me.” Tsukishima cast a dark look at Kuroo. “ _He’s_ too busy making movie plots.” That dark look transferred over to Ennoshita, who looked visibly shaken by it. “And the rest of you are too busy being fucking oblivious!”

      “Inmate. Keep your voice down.” C.O. Ushijima had come back over to the table once again, wearing that same stoic expression on his face. “If I have to come back to this table, you’re all getting shots.”

      Tsukishima growled, but he didn’t say anything else. No-one did. They _couldn’t_. They knew Tsukishima was right, but they just couldn’t say anything.


	19. Cigarette Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Kageyama have a one-on-one.

      Predictably enough, Kageyama was by the sheds, smoking his menthol cigarettes. Despite the sniper smoking more than he should, Kageyama was able to avoid many of the ill effects of smoking, like the yellow skin and the yellow teeth. Well, his back teeth were beginning to yellow slightly, although he’d never confess that to anyone.

      “Hey.” Tsukishima walked out, hands shoved in the pockets of his prison trousers. Kageyama nodded in response and puffed out a long stream of smoke.

      “You’ve got work duty. Gardening, right?”

      “Took a break.” Tsukishima smirked. “I’m here to check on your stupid ass.”

      “I’m fine. I just want a smoke.”

      “That’s one smoke too many.” Tsukishima plucked the cigarette out of Kageyama’s hand, much to his annoyance. “Yamamoto told us. Six boxes a week? That’s a hundred and twenty, idiot. You’ll suffocate on these tar sticks.”

      “Well, I enjoy my tar sticks.” Kageyama snatched it back and placed it inbetween his lips, now wearing a dark glare on his face. “If you’re here to give the standard _smoking is bad_ speech, then piss off.”

      “No. Weirdly enough, it suits you. All you need is one ear piercing and you’re set.”

      “Yes, because I’m really going to get a prison piercing. I’m not trying to catch an STD, Tsukishima.” Kageyama raised his eyebrows at Tsukishima while puffing out yet another stream of greyish smoke. “Are you done?”

      “What will it take for me to get you back to normal again?”

      Kageyama was slightly shocked by the question. He took his cigarette away from his lips, let his hand drop to his side and then looked back up at Tsukishima. “I was never normal. You should know that, Sadist-sama.”

      “Sama? Hmm…” That smirk was appearing on Tsukishima’s face once again. “I like the sound of that. But, I digress. I’m saying that you need to stop avoiding all of us and start eating lunch again. You’re meant to be in the middle ordering Kunimi to get you yoghurt every two minutes, not in your room listening to depressing metal shit all day.”

      “Avoiding?” Kageyama blinked at him. “I’m not avoiding anyone. I’m just staying out the way.”

      “For fuck’s sake.” Tsukishima slapped his forehead. It seemed like _everyone_ was doing the face-palm these days. People did it so often that it could’ve been classed as a dance move, like the nae-nae or the dab.

      “What?”

      “You don’t still think we’re blaming you for what happened, right?”

      “Well…”

      “You’re an idiot, Kageyama. We knew that. If anything, we’re _lucky_ that it ended with you throwing us all under the bus. If you hadn’t, chances are that our sentences would’ve been even worse. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t get life, considering what I’ve done.” Tsukishima let out a chuckle. Strangely enough, it sounded _sweet_ coming from his lips. “I got sixty-nine years, seven of which I’ve served, a fan base _and_ my own movie. I’ve got it pretty good.”

      “Wait. Why do all of you have different sentences?” Kageyama narrowed his eyes. “Are you telling me that what I did had nothing to do with the sentences?”

      “Hell no.” Tsukishima snorted. “You threw us under the bus, but it’s better than you being under the bus with the rest of us. You have a really, _really_ bad habit for telling the truth. If you’d gotten caught with the rest of us, we’d have all ended up with life sentences. We’re _glad_ you did it.”

      “Why didn’t anyone… why didn’t anyone tell me?” Kageyama was already beginning to think back to the event. That day when everything fell apart; when everything went wrong…


	20. The Jewellery Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kageyama stole away with the getaway van, he accidentally stole Tsukishima's heart in the process.

      “Hurry up, guys! Asahi’s stalling outside, but he won’t be able to wait much longer!” Kageyama was pacing around outside, highly aware that they were running out of time. It was the dead of night, and he was outside a highly-renowned jewellery store. Karasuno was running out of money for weapons and supplies so they desperately needed to pull this heist off. The problem was that none of them had _planned_ it. Suga had spotted the store, said “Let’s rob this store!” and rushed in before anyone could tell him otherwise. They’d all ended up going along with it in the end since it looked like an easy catch. The door hadn’t been locked properly, they were all dressed in black and it would be impossible for them to _ever_ be caught. Karasuno don’t fall. They _fly_.

      Inside the store, the whole of Karasuno was grabbing and taking whatever they could. They were only meant to grab a couple of items, but they were all getting quite greedy. They’d gone _years_ without falling, so their egos had become inflated. They planned to leave the place bare; take every last item in there. Suga had tied up the guards with bondage tape (he insisted that he had ‘accidentally’ brought it with him) and was keeping an eye on them. Gold necklaces, diamond rings and emerald earrings were disappearing into bags and pockets as the seconds passed.

      Kageyama was pulling on his sleeves, pacing back and forth, horribly aware that they could get caught any second. All it takes is one person to walk by and see that there’s people running around taking stuff off the displays. And right now, Kageyama could see a _police officer_ making his way down the street. _Night patrol_. He couldn’t issue any warnings since the street was so quiet that the officer would be able to hear him.

      “Fuck,” Kageyama whispered to himself. _What should he do?_

      It was then that Kageyama snapped. He went towards the van, looked in at Asahi who was also biting on his fingernails. “Asahi, get out.”

      “What—”

      “ _Get out_.” Surprised, the older male replied. He clambered out of the van. Meanwhile, Kageyama could see that the police officer was beginning to run towards the scene. Multiple police officers were now beginning to approach. _An ambush_. It didn’t take Kageyama long to figure out what had happened. Japan’s police force had baited Karasuno by leaving the door to the jewellery store open. It had been a trap.

      “Wait, Kageyama, are they here for—” Kageyama threw himself into the van, turned the key in its ignition and sped down the street without another word. He could see Asahi in the side mirror running down the street, shouting his name again and again. _Kageyama! Kageyama!_ But he didn’t stop. He was focused on self-preservation and nothing else. _I can’t go down. I can’t_.

 

      Subsequently, the police officers reached the jewellery store, busted the door down and caught the rest of Karasuno red-handed, save for Asahi. And if that wasn’t enough, they also found the dead body of one guard and the bruised body of another. Suga had tied both of them up so tightly that they couldn’t breathe. Although, Suga insisted that he’d gone ‘easy’ on them with the tape and rope.

      Asahi himself had managed to sprint far enough from the jewellery store that they couldn’t find him. He’d done ballet in his teenage years, so he had a _lot_ of stamina. He’d decided to hide out in the volleyball courts of his old high school. Conveniently enough, his high school happened to be nearby.

      Karasuno were cuffed and taken out to police vans by the Japanese police officers who were wearing proud smiles. They got paid extra if they caught gang members — but they’d just managed to catch a whole batch of them, especially ‘Jigsaw’ Tsukishima, who was on Japan’s ‘Most Wanted’ list. They’d be swimming in pools of yen for _years_ at this rate.

      Meanwhile, Kageyama was still zooming off in a direction. He didn’t care where he was going, he just needed to get _away_. He was repeating the same mantra in his head. _Why? Why? Why? Why?_

Why?

***

      When Kageyama had finally arrived at the prison, having been caught and detained just three months later, he was met by coldness from the rest of Karasuno. No-one had ever said it out loud, but they all blamed him. They _did_. So, why… why do they care so much about him?

      “We’ve all talked about it. None of us blame you for it. We got way in over our heads, thinking we could take the entire store.” Tsukishima let out a snort of laughter. “We tried to rob both the first  _and_  second floor. Nishinoya was trying to break into the safe. He kept doing cartwheels and shouting ‘Rolling Thunder!’ every time he kicked the safe. Tanaka was trying to steal the paintings. It was a fucking mess.”

      “Seriously?” Kageyama put his cigarette back to his lips, his eyes widening slightly when he realised that half of it had burnt away. He let out another puff of smoke and let it drop back to his hand once again. “We agreed on first floor only. No wonder you were all taking so long…”

      “It’s alright.” Tsukishima flicked Kageyama’s nose, earning himself a dark glare from the sniper. “Maybe Nishinoya will come up with some Michael Scofield-level escape plan and get us all out of here.”

      The two looked at each other, Tsukishima smirking and Kageyama glaring. After a few seconds, they both burst into laughter, Kageyama leaning against the shed in order to support himself. Tsukishima fell into Kageyama’s body, laughing so hard that he could barely stand. His lips gently grazed across Kageyama’s, stilling the man’s laughter all of a sudden. Tsukishima’s hand snaked to Kageyama’s, slipping the cigarette out of his hand and dropping it to the grass below. Now, he was pressing Kageyama right up against the shed wall, but he was still keeping the kiss as gentle as he could. Although Tsukishima was by no means _gentle_ , he wasn’t sure how Kageyama would react. He wasn’t even sure if Kageyama was gay. The man didn’t seem to care about males _or_ females. He only cared about sniping. Even then, Tsukishima had thought about doing this for a long time. He _had_ to know how it felt, how it felt to have his lips touching Kageyama’s. He could taste that cold cigarette smoke on Kageyama’s lips, but it seemed like Kageyama had also become walking nicotine. Tsukishima couldn’t will himself to pull away. He wanted to stay in the touch of Kageyama’s lips, forever and ever. He was becoming addicted.

      It took a while for Tsukishima to realise that Kageyama wasn’t making any effort to return the kiss. Surprised, he pulled himself off Kageyama’s lips. Kageyama didn’t have an expression on his face. He just looked blank, so utterly _blank_. He didn’t seem to like it, but he didn’t seem to dislike it either.

      Kageyama blinked at Tsukishima. He put a hand to his lips, feeling them. They were warm. _Yes, Tsukishima had really kissed him_. He looked down at the cigarette, which had been snuffed out by the damp grass. Then, back up at Tsukishima, whose lips were glistening in the dim sunlight. Kageyama couldn’t read the look in his eyes.

      “Thank you.” Kageyama nodded once at Tsukishima. Before the blonde could respond, Kageyama excused himself and walked away from the sheds. He’d been planning to smoke another cigarette before going inside, but he didn’t feel the need now. He felt… _alright_.


	21. You're Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi steals Oikawa's thunder. (Oikawa pretends to mind, but he really doesn't)

      “Lunch break, lunch break, time to go to lunch break~” Guess Monster was walking down the prison garden, swinging a bento in his right hand. He could see the inmates working in the gardens, actually. _Hmm_. “Hey, six-inches! Stop staring at seven-point-seven inches over there and get to work!”

      The blonde he was talking to flushed a bright red while Kuroo simply shot a grin over at Guess Monster. “Hey, you got it right this time. Nice one, Tendou-san.”

      Guess Monster made his way into the prison and into the corridors, feeling pleased with himself. He’d get to eat his lunch with Wakatoshi and try to see how the stoic man felt about him. _God, it’s ridiculous_. He just can’t stop thinking about Wakatoshi.

      “Hey.” Suddenly, Guess Monster was yanked back into a different corridor. The person who had grabbed him let go, causing Guess Monster to stumble right up into a wall. The bento dropped out of his hand. “Why haven’t you handed in your resignation yet?” Oikawa was standing there, wearing a dark glare on his face. Tendou couldn’t help but be shocked by the look on Oikawa’s face. He’d worked alongside Oikawa for thirteen years and he’d _never_ once seen him look like that.

      “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tendou responded.

      Oikawa grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up the wall once again. Tendou’s head thwacked against the wall, but he didn’t complain. He’d experienced worse.

      “You know what you did,” Oikawa snarled. “You’re sick. The state you left him in… you’re a fucking monster.”

      “Shouldn’t you be drooling over your Iwa-chan?” Tendou had a mocking grin on his face. “And I know. The inmates call me Guess Monster.”

      “I told you that you needed to hand in your resignation by Sunday. It’s Monday and your rapist ass is still walking around. What’s the deal, huh?” Oikawa let Tendou’s collar go and took a step back. “If you’re thinking about going to the staff room, don’t bother. Iwa-chan’s telling them all about what you did to Hinata as we speak.”

      “Wait… Wakatoshi, too?” Tendou’s eyes went wide. The amount of times he’d moaned that name while using that orange-haired man as his toy… what if he’d told Oikawa that? And what if Oikawa had told Iwaizumi that, the same Iwaizumi who was telling the staff what he’d done? “You can’t. You _can’t_.”

      “You had your chance, Tendou.” Oikawa was sickened by the fact that a _correctional officer_ could do something like that. He wouldn’t mind if it had just been flirting, but you don’t touch the inmates like that. You _never_ touch the inmates like that. Especially when they don’t want it. Every time he looked at Tendou, all Oikawa could think of was the Hinata he’d seen, covered in bruises and cuts. Limping when he walked, barely unable to stand up for more than a few minutes. He’d looked like a walking corpse. And Tendou was the man responsible for that.

      Tendou wasn’t listening anymore. He grabbed his bento from the ground and sprinted off in the direction of the staff room.

      “Hey! Get back here!” Oikawa began to run after him. But, Tendou was faster. In a matter of seconds, he’d made it to the staff room and was practically tearing the door apart in his haste to get in and see Wakatoshi. He didn’t want Wakatoshi to be ashamed of him. _Please, no_.

      There were three people in there. Iwaizumi, Icicle… and Ushijima. They all turned to face Tendou upon his hasty entrance. Oikawa was stood behind him, but he quickly realised that there was no point trying to stop Tendou from doing anything. The looks he was receiving from the three men were probably killing him.

      “Tendou.” Ushijima walked towards the red-haired guess monster, whose face had drained of all colour. “Is it true that you took advantage of the inmate?”

      “I… uh… Ayup, gesu…”

      “You’re speaking strangely, Tendou.”

      “Ah…”

      “Tendou, you wanna know how he is?” Oikawa slipped into the room and turned to face Tendou — although, at this point, he was looking more like a ghost. “He’s bed-bound, his throat’s so inflamed that he can only eat soft foods, he can’t walk normally and he’s lost a ridiculous amount of weight. He was a fucking athlete, you know. Now he’s got no chance of playing professionally ever again.”

      “Well, maybe he shouldn’t have broken the law.” Warden walked into the room. The younger Ukai was in tow with him, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. “I don’t appreciate you going in over your head, Oikawa.”

      “But Warden—!”

      “Don’t get me wrong. You’re sick,” Warden said, casting a dark glare over at Tendou. “And I’m glad you brought this incident to my attention, Oikawa. I apologise for the time it took for me to come down to the prison. But, either way, Hinata wouldn’t be able to play upon making it out of here. Nobody wants a felon on their team.”

      Iwaizumi took a step forward. “Are you firing him, Warden?” Since Iwaizumi had actually been a big fan of Hinata’s, he was desperate to see Tendou get some form of justice. He’d suggested paying some of the inmates to jump the red-haired C.O., but Oikawa had argued that it would be immoral to bring any more people into the situation. So, they’d settled for crushing Tendou’s hopes of ever getting the stoic Ushijima to fall in love with him.

      “I’m suspending him so that I can conduct a full investigation—”

      “What is there to investigate?! If someone fucks an inmate, they deserve to be in handcuffs. No questions asked,” Oikawa snapped. Warden shot him a dark look, causing the brunette to mutter a “Sorry” afterwards. Meanwhile, Keishin was beginning to appear very uncomfortable. While he hadn’t actually fucked Suga, he’d done a _lot_ of sexual things with the grey-haired male.

      “For once, I agree with this idiot.” Iwaizumi slapped Oikawa’s back.

      “Uhm.” Aone grunted in agreement, moving to stand by the counsellors.

      The only person left was Ushijima. He looked to Tendou, then to Keishin. Then, he looked over at the three men who were standing in solidarity. Finally, he returned his gaze to Tendou once again, wearing that same stoic look of his. Nobody had ever seen Ushijima show any actual emotion.

      “Tendou. Did you have feelings for the inmate, or was it just about breaking him?”

      “I… no… I just…” Tendou gulped. “I want you.”

      Oikawa looked like he was about to throw Tendou out of the window. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to set Tendou on fire and _then_ throw him out of the window.

      “For fuck’s sake, Tendou, this isn’t the fucking—”

“Iwaizumi.” Ushijima held up his hand to the dark-haired man. His attention was still on Tendou. “Tendou. I’m not a possession. How can you want me?”

      “Forget it.” Tendou had gone even _redder_ than his hair, if that was even possible. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. He spent a few moments straightening it out and then handed it to Warden. “That’s my resignation. I’ll leave with immediate effect.”

      Ushijima put a hand on the redhead’s shoulder. “Tendou.”

      “I raped him, alright? Every night, I paid the SHU guards four thousand yen to let me have him to myself. I only chose him because he seemed like the easiest one to get to. He seemed innocent.” Tendou burst into laughter, slapping Ushijima’s hand off his shoulder. “Fuck. I’d probably do it again if I got the chance.”

      “Oikawa, stop holding me back,” Iwaizumi growled. It was taking the brunette everything he had to stop Iwaizumi from breaking free and beating the shit out of Tendou. Although, the second they stepped out of prison, Oikawa would allow Iwaizumi free rein over Tendou.

      “Tendou. Turn yourself in,” Ushijima ordered. “You committed a crime. All crimes must face retribution, including yours. Right now, all I see is a man who is just as mentally destroyed as the rest of the prisoners in this institution. You are not the Tendou I know.”

      “Wait, wait, wait. Nobody’s turning themselves in. We’ll have a massive scandal on our hands if that happens,” Warden said. “Just resign and we’ll forget it ever happened—”

      “Are you fucking kidding me?! Warden, the man that this monster raped will _not_ be the same. He will never be the same. He won’t forget what happened, so we shouldn’t either, you fucking—”

      “Iwa-chan, _stop_. He’s still your boss—”

      “Kusokawa, get off me.” He finally broke free of Oikawa’s grasp and stepped right up to Tendou. He pushed the redhead back. Tendou stumbled back right up to the wall, his head flying upwards due to the sudden force. Then, Iwaizumi turned to face Warden. “When I was younger, my mother faced sexual assault on a regular basis at her job. She was a bar waitress. Men would slap her ass, try to get her number and that kind of shit. She hasn’t forgotten about any of it. To this day, she’s still scared to go near men. Even Oikawa, and he’s my boyfriend. So, when I say that Hinata won’t be the same after what this fucking _thing_ did to him, he won’t be the same. You’re going to call the police, you’re going to tell them to come and arrest him and then you’re going to go to Hinata and tell him to call his lawyers. Do you understand, Warden?”

      Oikawa didn’t have time to fangirl over the fact that Iwaizumi had actually referred to him as his _boyfriend_. He was too busy thinking about how much better Iwaizumi was at being a warden than Warden himself. Everyone else in the room had similar thoughts — well, except Warden. He was fuming with anger, unable to believe his staff’s impudence.

      “Remember who you’re speaking to, Iwaizumi.”

      “Oh, I know who I’m speaking to. I’m just sick of you preaching about people being criminals and facing justice, yet you don’t actually do anything. There’s criminals standing in this room right now. Fucking Tendou should be in Shinzen and Keishin should be getting fired right about _now_.”

      “Now, Iwaizumi.” Warden cleared his throat. “That’s interesting. They both did the same thing, did they not?”

      “Keishin had a consensual relationship. While illegal, it was still consensual. A bit of an asshole move to mess around with a guy in a relationship though,” Iwaizumi said, casting a glare at Keishin. The blonde looked like he was about to piss himself. Iwaizumi was _scary_ when he got angry. “But Tendou, he paid to take advantage of Hinata. The two are entirely different. Don’t try and compare the two. They’re not the same.”

      “So, Iwaizumi. You’re suggesting that—”

      “Stop saying my name like that. And stop talking down to me like that.” Iwaizumi tore out a piece of paper from his pocket, which was in a similar state to Tendou’s. “This prison’s been going downhill for a while. I wasn’t planning to do this until the end of the month, but I can’t take this anymore. This is my resignation. Once I hand this in, I’m no longer a guard here. So, I’ll beat the shit out of this guy since you’re clearly not planning to do anything.”

      “Iwa-chan… you’re so cool…” Oikawa didn’t get to see Iwaizumi like this often. Thankfully, Oikawa had whispered the words quietly enough that Iwaizumi hadn’t noticed. Or, maybe he had. Either way, Iwaizumi didn’t turn to face Oikawa.

      “Wakatoshi.” Tendou had gone towards the C.O., who appeared like he’d rather be anywhere but in the staff room. “If I go to prison and do my time, will you visit me?”

      Ushijima rubbed his chin as he thought for a few moments. “No. I do not wish to spend any more time in a prison than necessary. Nor do I wish to associate any further with someone of your type.” The words hurt Tendou deep in his heart. He could feel that painful ache, just as poignant as it had been when he’d first met Ushijima. _Nobody was meant to find out. Nobody_.

      “Iwaizumi. Please understand that a scandal this size could destroy the prison—”

      “And you’re _still_ talking about scandals. You disgust me, old man.” He forced the resignation slip into Warden’s hand. “These men need help. There needs to be better rehabilitation for them. But all you care about is the money that you’re making off them.”

      “I’m with Iwa-chan.” Oikawa walked forward, produced his resignation letter and pushed it into Warden’s hand. “I’ll miss the people here, but… I can’t let Iwa-chan take all of the glory!”

      Iwaizumi scoffed. “Don’t be stupid. You can’t quit too.” He pulled Oikawa’s resignation letter out of Warden’s hand and put it back into Oikawa’s hand. “How will we pay the bills, huh?”

      “That’s not fair. Why are you the only one who gets to quit? I’ve been working here longer than you—”

      “Shut up, Kusokawa.”

      “Granddad. I’m quitting too.” Keishin put his cup of coffee down and turned to face Warden. “It’s not right for me to stay after what I’ve done. There’s a job opening at the gym, it pays slightly less but—”

      Warden’s hands flew to his hair, as if he were about to yank out whatever was left. However, he seemed to rethink this, instead choosing to slam his fists down to his sides. “Are you stupid?! You’re in debt, Keishin!”

      “Maybe you should quit too. You’re not in it to protect the men,” Keishin argued. “Suga taught me just how fucked up this place is. People are sent to the SHU to fill quotas, shots are handed out on an ad-hoc basis and they’re all treated like pigs.”

      Warden sighed. “Are we really going to argue right now?”

      Keishin, Oikawa and Iwaizumi yelled a loud “Yes!” which was so loud it almost blew out Warden’s eardrums. Right after, there were so many conflicting voices, arguments and opinions in the room that it was becoming impossible to follow every single one.

***

      After a full hour of yelling and screaming, the seven men had finally come to a conclusion. Keishin and Iwaizumi were resigning from their jobs, although they’d reluctantly agreed to stay on until the end of the month. They’d get a ‘good faith’ bonus on their checks. Oikawa was keeping his job (although he’d have much rather stuck by Iwa-chan’s side) and so was Warden. Aone hadn’t spoken during the hour, so he’d quietly excused himself to go to the toilet. Ushijima had also been fairly quiet during the hour, although he’d had to clean up Keishin’s coffee cup, which had split over amongst all of the commotion. And Tendou had decided that he was going to quit, but not turn himself in. Even after the two, three punches that Iwaizumi had managed to slip in, he still wasn’t going to turn himself in. Warden vehemently refused to have the redhead turn himself in.

      Oikawa and Iwaizumi were walking over to their offices in relative silence. Their elbows knocked together as they walked, right past Oikawa’s door and straight into Iwaizumi’s.

      “Idiot. Don’t you know how to open a door?”

      “You walked into it too, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi flicked Oikawa’s temple before pulling on the handle. The door swung open, allowing the two men to walk inside. It was then that Iwaizumi finally dropped to his knees, wearing one of the most broken looks on his face that Oikawa had ever seen him don.

      “It’s so fucked up,” Iwaizumi growled, punching the ground. “It’s so fucked up!”

      “Iwa-chan…” Oikawa didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he _could_ say. He felt the same way as Iwaizumi; he felt just as strongly, but he couldn’t show that.

      “I went to go see Hinata this morning. I had to bring him his breakfast,” Iwaizumi began to say. “The room was dark. I could hear him crying to himself, whispering ‘Stop’ over and over again. It wasn’t a nightmare, though. His eyes were wide open.”

      “Fuck…”

      “I’ve always looked up to him, Oikawa. My _child_ looks up to him. We’ve gone to see his matches in person. And now, he’ll never get to play again because of that fucking asshole.” Iwaizumi was shaking with rage as he looked up at Oikawa, who was crouching down so that he was at eye-level with the dark-haired counsellor. “What do I tell Shigeru?”

      “You tell him that even though Hinata might not be standing on the court anymore, he’s still just as amazing as he was the day he stepped on it. I’ll be there when you tell Shigeru.” Oikawa took Iwaizumi’s shaking fists in his hands, straightening them out and massaging each shaking palm with the soft padding of his thumbs. “You’re not raising him alone anymore, Iwa-chan. I’m here with you, every step of the way.”

      “Oikawa…” He looked down at his hands, which were being warmed by the brunette’s hands. Then, he looked into Oikawa’s eyes. They were that same startling shade of brown, the kind of intense brown that made Iwaizumi feel things he didn’t even _know_ he could feel.

      “This is the part where you say you love me,” Oikawa teased.

      “Don’t get in over your head, idiot.” Iwaizumi took one of his hands away from Oikawa’s and lightly whacked him over the head with it. Oikawa chuckled. However, the chuckling was cut short when Iwaizumi used his free hand to graze Oikawa’s soft cheek before putting his lips to his. The brunette stilled under his touch for a few moments before returning the gesture, just as passionately as he had the first time they’d ever kissed. Oikawa’s lips were so thick, so sweet-tasting. Iwaizumi couldn’t get enough of his idiot boyfriend. He didn’t _want_ to. He wanted to feel that same way for the rest of his life; to feel like all he ever needed was ninety-point-nine percent of his boyfriend.

      Their hands were locked together, similar to the way puzzle pieces would click together when you finally found the right ones to put together. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were opposites, but at the same time, they were similar. So similar. And there was no hope of either of them falling out of love with the other.

      Finally, Iwaizumi ended the kiss with a gentle nibble of Oikawa’s lip, causing the brunette to let out a gasp. “Hey, Kusokawa. You love me.” Iwaizumi smirked.

      “You love me too.” Oikawa returned the smirk, much to Iwaizumi’s amusement.

      “Unfortunately.” Iwaizumi got up to his knees and pulled his boyfriend up, once again engulfed by Oikawa’s sweet smell. There was that smell of clean linen and autumn days. Autumn, the days where there’s fire and sweet coffee and crunchy leaves. Oikawa had always reminded Iwaizumi of autumn. Oikawa was the reason Iwaizumi loved autumn the most. “Now, don’t you have paperwork to fill out?”

      “Aww. I thought you were about to angry-fuck me over your desk,” Oikawa whined, pouting at his boyfriend. “You know, like you did last week.”

      “You’re so unprofessional.” Iwaizumi shook his head. “You don’t even bother wearing a suit to work. Wait, what the hell is that shirt you’re wearing?”

      “It’s a white shirt with a little alien on the pocket. Duh,” Oikawa said. “And trust me. I appreciate you and your suit, Iwa-chan. Can I take you out of it now?”

       “I swear, all you ever want is sex,” Iwaizumi muttered, pushing his boyfriend up against the desk and snaring his lips in his once again. Pressing himself up against the brunette, he could already feel him getting hard. Meanwhile, Oikawa was smirking against Iwaizumi’s lips, feeling like he’d won.

      “Love you, Iwa-chan.”


	22. Mountain Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cooks debut the 'Kageyama Anthem' to the man himself and Kuroo pushes Tsukishima just a little too far.

      For the rest of the day, Oikawa was walking around the prison strangely. Iwaizumi was wearing a proud smirk on his face when he walked into the cafeteria. It was dinnertime, so he had to retrieve Hinata’s dinner. His eyes set upon the Karasuno table, raising one eyebrow when he saw that Nekoma was also at the table.

      “Iwaizumi,” Nishinoya said, drawing the counsellor’s attention. “Here’s the tray! I made it myself,” he added, slapping his own chest. Nishinoya always got so proud whenever it came to his cooking.

      “Thank you, Nishinoya.” He took the tray and offered the energetic cook a smile before slipping out of the cafeteria and heading straight over to medical. While Hinata still didn’t look the way he had when Iwaizumi had first met him outside of Oikawa’s office, he was beginning to look better. Iwaizumi was willing to do whatever it took to help the man get better. He would’ve preferred to pummel Tendou into the ground, but the redhead had already gathered up his few possessions and left the prison.  So, he had to settle for helping Hinata regain his health somehow.

      Meanwhile, Kindaichi and Kunimi were walking Kageyama down to dinner. Weirdly enough, Kageyama hadn’t tried to avoid going to dinner. He seemed _excited_ about going. While the two bodyguards found it strange, they didn’t question it. They were just glad that Kageyama was finally beginning to seem like his normal self.

      When Kageyama slipped into the lunch line, Nishinoya noticed him instantly.

      “Ka-ga-ya-ma! Ka-ga-ya! Ka-ga-ya! Kaa!”

      Tanaka joined in with the song, having noticed the dark-haired sniper standing in the line. “Kage Kage Kage, Kage Kage Kage…”

      Then, Yamamoto followed up with his own little addition. “Kaga-da Kaga-da, oh Kaga Kaga Kaga!”

      “Ka-ga-ya-ma! Ka-ga-ya! Ka-ga-ya! Kaa!” It seemed like the three of them were going to be singing that song for a while. Kageyama rolled his eyes, but he didn’t complain. He was just overjoyed that his team really didn’t hate him for what had happened. He wasn’t sure if Daichi and Suga had lied about nobody caring to save his feelings, but he knew that Tsukishima wasn’t lying. Tsukishima had no reason to lie to him, after all.

      “Hey, guys… the line’s getting pretty long,” Asahi pointed out.

      “Oh. Well, alright then.” Nishinoya slapped his chest and grinned at Kageyama, who was regarding the cook with a shred of humour in his eyes. “What will it be for you today, Boss?”

      “Nabemono.”

      “Sure thing!” Nishinoya grabbed the ladle and began to spoon an unusually large portion into a blue bowl, making sure it was filled to the brim. Then, he placed it onto a tray and handed it to Kageyama. There was also a pot of Gun Gun yoghurt on the tray and a small carton of milk. “Here you go. Make sure you finish it all!”

      “But this is too much—”

      “What will it be for you today, Kindaichi?”

      Kageyama knew there was no point trying to argue the point. He went down the line, grabbed himself a paper cup full of water and went towards the table. There was the usual space left for him in the middle of the table — although, now that Nekoma had officially joined their table, it wasn’t really the middle anymore. Nevertheless, Kageyama was still pleased to see that they hadn’t forgotten about him.

      “Hey, it’s Mountain Boy! How ya doin’?” Kuroo had that same scheming grin on his face.

      “He’s not the only mountain boy,” Yamaguchi muttered. “I have the kanji for mountain too.”

      “You’re Gucci Boy,” Kuroo reminded him. “There’s only room for one mountain boy.”

      “Wait, so what boy am I?”

      “Yaku, you’re no boy. You’re a demon. Demon-senpai.”

      “Fuck you,” he muttered.

      “If you give me a time and a place, I will.” Kuroo smirked. “You’ll learn why they call me seven inches of sensual slaughter.”

      “Kuroo. We’re trying to eat,” Kenma said, plopping a mouthful of nabemono into his mouth. “Please, go be horny somewhere else.”

      “It’s been one whole year since I last fucked someone, Kenma. His name was Kyotani. He had horrible hair, but the dick was good. Ten inches of some _rock cock_ , I’m telling you. That man used to put those hands on me so _good_. Too bad he got sent to max,” Kuroo said, looking into the distance as if he were talking about something inspirational. “One day, I’ll get to take some good dick into my mouth again—”

      “Kuroo, quick question,” Yaku said. “Are your parents ashamed of you?”

      “Well, they’re both dead. I get the feeling that they would be though,” Kuroo said, chomping on some chicken from his nabemono. “Man, I wish you guys could be more like Suga. He’s the only guy that’s more of a freak than I am.”

      Kenma sighed. “Kuroo, just eat your food. I put up with you masturbating at night when you think I’m asleep, so please. Be quiet.”

      “Hey! Don’t tell everyone!” His face went bright red. Kenma’s statement was met with snickers from around the entire table. However, there was one snicker that was missing.

      “Hey, Tsukki. You’re quiet today,” Yamaguchi said, poking the blonde’s shoulder. “Everything alright?”

      “No, I’m fine.”

      Kuroo got up and walked to the end of the table where Tsukishima was sitting. He grabbed the blonde’s chin, tilted it so that he could stare directly into Tsukishima’s eyes and held the position for a few moments. Then, he let go, punching his fist into the air with a look of triumph in his eyes. “I know what’s wrong! He’s sexually frustrated!”

      “No.” Tsukishima’s foot shot out, stamping on the rooster-haired man’s foot. Kuroo didn’t even flinch. “I’m just trying to enjoy my food like a normal person.”

      “No, Kuroo’s right,” Kenma said. “He’s like Guess Monster. Guess Monster predicts dick sizes, Kuroo predicts levels of sexual frustration. He spends most of his time sexually frustrated, so he can tell when someone’s in a similar state.”

      “Well, if Kenma’s saying it, it’s true,” Kinoshita said. “Hey, who’s got you sexually frustrated?”

      “Me. Obviously,” Kuroo said, pointing to himself. “I’ll take you in the storage closet right now if you want, Tsukki. I’m more than willing to give you my seven inches of sensual slaughter.”

      “You’re making me sick.” Tsukki pushed his tray away from him and got up, making his way over to the exit of the cafeteria. At first, Icicle tried to prevent him from leaving, but after a couple of moments, Icicle stepped aside for Tsukki.

      Ennoshita simply grabbed Tsukishima’s bowl of nabe and poured it into his empty bowl. Then, he proceeded to finish that bowl too, shoving the steaming-hot contents into his mouth. The entire table was staring at the aspiring director with blank looks on their faces.

      “What? He’s not coming back,” Ennoshita said through a mouthful of food.

      “Wait. Did I do something wrong?” Kuroo narrowed his eyes at the empty tray, then at Icicle. He scratched his head, thought back to the irritated look in Tsukishima’s eyes. “I honestly thought he was into me.”

      Yaku facepalmed, then Kenma. The two spoke at the same time, one single word leaving their lips. “Really?”

***

      The next few days were riddled with all sorts of events. One guy from the Johzenji was released from Fukurodani, only to end up right back in there less than twenty-four hours later. Japan’s national volleyball team was thrashed by China. Without their ace, their attacking power had decreased significantly. Even Bokuto was unable to make up for the loss of Hinata. He didn’t have the same speed that their former ace had. Takeru’s trial had also begun. To Ennoshita’s disappointment, it wasn’t being televised. However, through many news channels, Ennoshita had learnt that the Wakunan leader was being indicted on multiple counts of murder, possessing unregistered firearms, theft and evading arrest.

      Meanwhile, birthday cake was made to commemorate Tanaka’s birthday, much to the pleasure of many inmates in the prison. Tsukishima hadn’t talked to Kageyama since their kiss. Kageyama seemed indifferent about it, which infuriated Tsukishima. He still didn’t understand why Kageyama had thanked him. He also didn’t understand why Kuroo was so obsessed with him. Kageyama’s cigarette count began to drop slightly, although that was mainly because he’d been spending more time around Karasuno and Nekoma instead of hanging around the sheds by himself. Daichi and Suga were still stuck in the SHU, although Warden had made the decision that they’d be permitted to return by next week. With the help of Oikawa, Iwaizumi was able to talk to his son, Shigeru, about them not being able to go see Hinata live anymore. Warden had received the ‘horrible’ news that Tendou had driven himself off a cliff, ultimately committing suicide. And of course, Hinata was finally released from medical, one day later than planned.

      “Alright, Hinata-kun. Your body’s beginning to heal, although you’ll need to come down once a day to take your meds. It’ll be a while before the pain goes away, but I’ll keep you on Oxycodone for a month and then we’ll see how you’re doing after that. Does that sound good?”

      “Mmm.” Hinata slipped out of bed and walked towards the doctor, who was holding a bunch of cotton buds in his hands. After having spent most of his week figuring out how to walk properly again, he was finally able to walk about without having to hold onto things for support. He was still a little shaky, but Takeda had concluded that Hinata would be able to heal quicker if he was walking around on a daily basis.

      “It’s just gone eleven. First of all, go talk to Oikawa-kun. He wants to see you. Then, go to your dorm.”

      Hinata frowned. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

      “You’ve got to. He says he has something you’ll want to hear.” Takeda finished dabbing his disinfectant on Hinata’s face. There were a pile of discarded cotton buds in the bin, some stained with fresh blood.

      “Fine.” Hinata let out a deep sigh and shoved his hands into his prison trousers, looking towards the door which would take him out of medical and back into the prison. “Takeda-sensei.”

      “Hmm?”

      “Thank you.”

      “I’m just doing my job, Hinata-kun.” The doctor walked over to the orange-haired ace and patted him on the shoulder. “Keep your spirits high. It gets better, I promise.”

      “Mmm.” Hinata walked out of medical at last, only to walk straight into Kageyama. He usually went in to get his medicine either after finishing his breakfast smoke or before going to lunch, but today he’d chosen to go inbetween breakfast and lunch. Kageyama was shocked when he saw that Hinata was walking, and Hinata was shocked to see that Kageyama was down there in the first place. At first, Hinata thought that Kageyama might’ve been there for him. But then he remembered that Kageyama was taking some sort of medicine, just like he was.

      “M…Morning.” Kageyama took a step back from Hinata and nodded. Hinata couldn’t help but remember the cold reaction he’d garnered from the former sniper after bumping into him on his first day. Now, he’d changed. He didn’t seem cold; he just seemed awkward.

      “Morning.” Hinata returned his nod and stepped to one side, allowing Kageyama to step into medical. Kageyama’s eyes lingered on Hinata’s for a few moments too many, which was beginning to make the orange-haired ace uncomfortable. As many people had said, Kageyama had never been good at reading social cues.

      Finally, Kageyama blinked, as if remembering why he’d come down in the first place. He stepped into medical, leaving Hinata on the outside. That dark-haired man never failed to baffle him, honestly. Hinata let out a deep sigh, regretting it instantly when he felt the dull ache in his ribs. _Ouch_. He didn’t know why, but he was waiting for Kageyama. He’d actually _forgotten_ how to get to Oikawa’s office, so he needed someone to show him. He’d rather it be someone he knows than one of the Johzenji that he’d been warned about multiple times.

      Kageyama stepped out three minutes later, stopping in his tracks when he saw that Hinata was still standing there. The orange-haired man was blinking up at him with wide eyes, which was enough to halt Kageyama’s thought process for a few moments. Or maybe that was just the Prozac speaking. Either way, Kageyama didn’t know.

      Hinata eventually spoke up. “Can you show me where Oikawa’s office is? I don’t know where to find it.”

      “Y…Yeah. Sure.” The two walked in silence, neither of them looking at one another. The last time they’d spoken, it had ended with Hinata yelling at Kageyama to “stay away”. It was the same reason the two of them couldn’t really find anything to speak about.

      “Hey, Kageyama.” Hinata tentatively touched Kageyama’s shoulder, stopping the taller man from speed-walking any further. “I… I’m sorry. About what I said a couple of days ago. It wasn’t you.”

      “I know that, idiot.” The insult slipped out from his lips before he even realised it. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to call you that…”

      “No, no. It’s okay.”

      “It’s not.” Kageyama sighed. He was beginning to regret his days as a recluse. He couldn’t even talk to someone for more than five minutes without insulting them somehow. “Are you okay?”

      “Not really.” Hinata could feel himself beginning to become teary-eyed. “I’m sorry… I always cry a lot when I’m around you…”

      “You’re not the only one. Babies cry around me too,” Kageyama joked. He earnt himself a chuckle from Hinata, although the ace still wasn’t smiling yet.

      “Maybe it’s the smoke. You’re like a walking cigarette.”

      “Yeah. I just got back from the sheds,” Kageyama explained. “They say Prozac’s meant to help you stop smoking, but it’s not doing anything for me.” He rolled his eyes.

      “My fiancée hates smoking,” Hinata said, the image of his blonde fiancée popping up in his head for the first time in days. “She refuses to come to my outings with my friends because some of them smoke. I don’t mind it, though.”

      “Everyone’s always trying to stop me from smoking,” Kageyama said, beginning a slow walk down the hallway once again. “It’s irritating.”

      “Don’t stop.” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand out of nowhere, startling the taller man. Kageyama could’ve sworn that his heart just leaped out of his ribcage from the touch alone. He wasn’t used to people grabbing his hand. He would’ve admonished the ace, but when he saw the proud look that Hinata had in his eyes, Kageyama wisely shut his mouth. “If you like smoking, then keep doing it. You might cut your life span down a little; you might give yourself lung cancer, but who cares?”

      “I’d rather die by cigarette than by boredom,” Kageyama explained.

      “So, you’re bored?”

      “Yeah, I guess.” Kageyama pushed through a set of double doors, leading the two of them through. Oikawa’s office was just a few steps away from where they were standing. “Oikawa’s office is just over there,” Kageyama said, pointing over at the green door. “You’ve got him as your counsellor too, huh?”

      “Yeah. He keeps calling me chibi-chan,” Hinata muttered. “He’s so annoying. I remember he came to visit me once, but I don’t remember what happened. I was really out of it because of the painkillers and stuff… by the way, sorry about what I said to you that time.”

      “You already apologised,” Kageyama pointed out.

      “Well, I’m apologising again.” Hinata squeezed Kageyama’s hand before finally letting go. Kageyama felt the loss of Hinata’s hand straightaway. It had been warm as it clamped onto Kageyama’s cold hand. He smoked so many menthol cigarettes that they were beginning to make his entire body cold. At least, that was the conclusion that he’d come to. “I don’t… I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I called you the K word. I’m also sorry that I got you that shot. I’m sorry for being mean after you came to visit me. Please, be my friend. I don’t have anyone else in here.”

      Kageyama lightly smacked the orange-haired ace’s head. “Idiot. I said I’d protect you, didn’t I?” He let his hand linger for a few moments, feeling the heat coming off Hinata’s hair. Even if he wasn’t smiling, he still felt warm in every way possible. Hinata’s hair was looking even messier than usual since he hadn’t had a chance to brush it, but Kageyama didn’t care. It still felt soft.

      “I guess,” Hinata mumbled. The two stood there staring at each other for a few moments until Kuroo popped up all of a sudden, tapping Kageyama on the back.

      “Boo.”

      Kageyama’s hand flew off Hinata’s head as he wheeled around to face Kuroo, who was wearing that signature smirk on his face. However, when Kuroo found himself in a choke hold, he was beginning to regret sneaking up on the former sniper.

      “I’m,” Kuroo gasped, “losing oxygen!”

      Kageyama let the rooster-haired man go with a warning. “Don’t sneak up on me. I don’t like that.”

      Hinata quickly realised why Kuroo had warned him against getting on Kageyama’s bad side. He seemed _dangerous_ , really dangerous. But Hinata had also seen that Kageyama had a sweet side to him, even if he was awkward. _But so did Takeru_ , that voice in his mind whispered.

      “Why do you even have bodyguards? You could’ve choked me out here… actually, can you choke me again? That shit gets me _hot_.”

      “Ew.” Kageyama visibly cringed. “Ask the Johzenji. They’re more than willing to choke you out.”

      “No. They do some really kinky shit.” Kuroo was mirroring Kageyama’s disgusted expression. Hinata then began to mirror Kuroo’s disgusted look. “I mean, I know I’m kinky as shit, but I draw the line when it comes to bodily fluids. Ew. Plus, all the Johzenji people have a thing for feminine-looking guys. One of them’s a child molester. Kind of creepy, if you ask me. In fact—”

      “Kuroo, you talk too much.” He turned away from the kinkster, returning his attention back to Hinata. “Go talk to Oikawa. Then, ask this idiot here to introduce you to Yuutarou and Akira. They’ll bring you to me so that you can have early lunch.”

      “Kageyama, you’re forgetting that they hate the _shit_ out of Wakuwankers—”

      “Kuroo.”

      “They’re not going to be pleased,” Kuroo warned. Hinata had a sad look on his face. Once Kageyama noticed, Kuroo managed to earn himself one of Kageyama’s super-scary glares.

      “I don’t give a fuck if they’re not pleased. I saved their asses; they’ll do what I say. I’m not letting Hinata walk these hallways on his own. Tell Taketora to get me extra yoghurt, too. I’ll be eating in my dorm room today.”

      “Kageyama, you can’t—”

      “I’ll see you later, Kuroo. See you, Hinata.” Kageyama walked over in the direction of his dorms, tuning out the rest of Kuroo’s complaints. Kageyama was still the ‘King of the Prison’, no matter how much that title irritated him. He was going to use his power as he saw fit. His first duty was to get everyone used to Hinata. He didn’t want Hinata to feel left out; he didn’t want everyone to judge him based on the rest of Wakunan. He was going to keep protecting him. He was going to keep his promise this time.

***

      Hinata’s eyes widened in disbelief. “He’s dead?”

      “Yup. Son of a bitch drove himself off a cliff after getting fired.” Oikawa grabbed his remote and gave Hinata one of his scheming grins. “This calls for celebration!” He pressed a button. Party poppers which had been situated in the corners of the room were now going off, surrounding the carpet with brightly coloured streamers.

      “You… you got him fired?”

      “Yeah. Well, Iwa-chan did most of the talking, but I called the warden in.” Oikawa put down his remote and sat down, his expression now becoming more serious. “Listen, Hinata. I know it’s hard to think about it, let alone tell someone about what happened to you. Iwa-chan says that I don’t seem serious enough about things, but I promise you. I’ll take this seriously.”

      “Thank you,” Hinata blubbered, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You… you…” He couldn’t believe that the vain-looking counsellor had actually done something so… _selfless_. He also couldn’t believe that Iwaizumi had handed in his resignation over the whole fiasco. At first, he’d thought that Oikawa was just there for old time’s sake. But now, looking into Oikawa’s brown eyes, Hinata knew one thing was true. Oikawa cares. He really does.

      Oikawa handed Hinata a fabric flooru, which could absorb tears with ease. Hinata didn’t even blink at the design — he just put it to his cheeks and started wiping the salty tears away. “I cry too much,” Hinata muttered.

      “I cry a lot too,” Oikawa said, poking Hinata’s damp cheek. “You just have to find someone that makes you cry happy tears rather than sad tears. Iwa-chan can be mean sometimes, but if I cry, he’s usually nice to me. Don’t tell him though,” Oikawa added in a hush. “He’ll get mad if he finds out that I’m making relationship hacks.”

      “I’ll try that.” Hinata wiped away the last of his tears before handing Oikawa’s flooru back. Oikawa tucked it into the pocket of his alien shirt and looked back up at the orange-haired ace.

      “You know, he really wants to be your counsellor. His son idolises you,” Oikawa mentioned. “His name’s Shigeru. He’s always been really insecure about his height. But then you popped up on TV one day, destroying all sorts of teams. Height wasn’t a barrier for you, it was a strength. Ever since then, he’s been obsessed with volleyball. Whenever Iwa-chan and I are off work, he always gets us to throw tosses for him.” A fond smile appeared on Oikawa’s face. He loved Shigeru as if he were his own son, the same way he loved Iwaizumi. He remembered how nervous Iwaizumi had been when he’d confessed to having a child. In fact, Iwaizumi had been scared that Oikawa wouldn’t want anything to do with him because of the child. He didn’t realise that it would only make Oikawa love him even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I should mention. 山 is the kanji for mountain, which appears in KageYAMA and YAMAguchi. (Also appears in other names, like Yamamoto and Yamagata. Furudate seems to like mountains a lot.)


	23. The Story of Iwaizumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi and Oikawa finally get their flashback chapter (yay)

      Oikawa took his lips off Iwaizumi’s shaking body, ruffling his Iwa-chan’s dark tuft of hair down below for old times’ sake. Iwaizumi let out a low grumble, but he didn’t try to stop Oikawa. The man had a mind of his own most days. Iwaizumi sat up, rolled his condom off and tossed it expertly to the nearby bin. It went in. Once that was done, he let his head drop right back onto the pillow. His body was heavy with fatigue, but he was also buzzing with that sweet emotion. It was the same emotion that drew him closer to his idiotic boyfriend, that emotion he craved so much.

      “Did I just suck the life out of you, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa slipped into the covers, putting a hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek so that they were facing one another. “You seem more tired than usual.”

      “No. You sucked the fucking _spirit_ out of me. I’m going to hell now,” Iwaizumi joked. “But, Oikawa… before we take this thing any further, I should probably tell you something.”

      “Please don’t say you’re getting hard again,” Oikawa said, shuffling away from Iwaizumi’s body. “You’re a monster.”

      “No, no.” Iwaizumi shuffled closer to him so that he could wrap a lazy arm around the brunette’s waist. “What I want to tell you… it’s pretty big.”

      “I was about to make a joke here, but I see you’re serious.” Oikawa snuggled into Iwaizumi’s touch, smiling up at his ever-loving boyfriend. “Go ahead.”

      “Well… a couple of years ago, I used to live down in Fukuoka, Kyushu. I was working with my father. He’s a fisherman. I met an American woman while living down there, and one thing led to another.”

      “I don’t care if you slept with a woman, Iwa-chan.”

      “No, it’s not that. We… we didn’t use protection. And she got pregnant. So… nine months later, I’m holding a baby in my hands with no fucking idea on what I’m going to do. I still remember what happened. She gave me the baby, rushed out of the house and said she’d be back in half an hour. She never came back.”

      “Fuck…”

      “So, my father had to focus on supporting both me _and_ my baby. I wasn’t going to give him up for adoption. I called him Shigeru, which means ‘to blossom, to cultivate’. I just knew the name would suit him,” Iwaizumi said. “But, after a while, my father admitted that he was really struggling with it all. I tried to help out as well as I could, but it wasn’t working anymore. So, I sold off a whole load of clothes and scraped together enough money for two plane tickets. I made my way down to Tokyo and for a while, we had to go to a homeless shelter. We had no money. Nowhere to go. I had to steal formula milk and nappies just to make sure that Shigeru had _something_. But one day, I got caught trying to steal some bread from the store. We were taken down to the police station; they took Shigeru away from me. I was questioned. They threatened to put me behind bars and put Shigeru into foster care. But then, a police officer called Matsukawa shows up and convinces the rest of them that I wasn’t some sort of criminal. They let me go.” Iwaizumi paused, checking Oikawa’s face to see how he was reacting. Oikawa was intently listening. He didn’t seem surprised or disgusted, like Iwaizumi had feared. _Thank God_. He just seemed… intrigued.

      “It was back to the homeless shelter for the both of us. But one day, Matsukawa shows up there and sees us. They had a section where the public could come in and give in donations. So, he was holding a box full of soup and bread and all sorts. After he handed that in, he called me over and asked about how Shigeru is doing. Then, he asked me to come with him. He got us food. In return, I told him my story. So… he asked me if I wanted to stay at his place until I got on my feet. I said yes. Shigeru let out one of those little baby squeals, but I assume that he was happy too.” Iwaizumi paused, taking a little breather. He was nervous, _really_ nervous. Oikawa was the first person Iwaizumi had ever dated since being walked out on by the American woman he’d met. He didn’t want to scare Oikawa away.

      Oikawa kissed Iwaizumi’s nose. “Hey, breathe. I’m not going anywhere.”

      Iwaizumi nodded before continuing. “Matsukawa had a wife. Her name was Mako. She loved looking after Shigeru. Their kindness… it’s the reason I’m here with you today.” He could feel a lump beginning to form in his throat, but he still continued to speak. “I worked in cafés and little shops until I made enough to start renting my own apartment. That took me three years. Matsukawa insisted that I stay a little longer, but I was determined to make my own way in the world. He gave me his phone number and told me to keep in touch. We still meet up with each other on a regular basis.”

      “Take me to meet him,” Oikawa demanded. “I want him to tell me embarrassing stories about you.”

      “Shut up,” Iwaizumi muttered. Oikawa simply smiled and nuzzled his nose against Iwaizumi’s. Iwaizumi pretended to be annoyed, but he really wasn’t. He was glad that Oikawa was acting just as soppy as usual.

      “He helped me to move into my new apartment. Shigeru was growing up normally. There were no health defects, thank God. It was then that I came across Fukurodani Penitentiary. The pay was a lot better than what I was used to, they offered free healthcare _and_ the hours were flexible. So, of course I took the job. I had to leave Shigeru with Mako over the weekdays, but I was making a lot more money than before. I tried to pay Mako for her help, but she refused my money. She saw Shigeru as a grandson. Family didn’t pay each other to help out, she told me. Now, Shigeru’s six years old and he won’t stop playing volleyball.”

      Iwaizumi should’ve been the one crying, but Oikawa was doing it _for_ him. He wasn’t making loud sobbing noises, but there were tears sliding down the brunette’s cheeks. Iwaizumi wiped them away with one hand, but Oikawa held onto his hand.

      “Did… did you think I’d leave you, Iwa-chan?”

      “Well…”

      “Idiot. Didn’t I tell you already? I love you. And I’ll love Shigeru just as much.” Oikawa could hardly believe that Iwaizumi hadn’t mentioned a child for the whole three years they’d been working together, but he was glad that Iwaizumi had finally told him.

      “I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure that I could trust you. I don’t think I’ll be able to take it if you walk out on me too,” Iwaizumi quietly admitted. It wasn’t often that Iwaizumi allowed himself to be so vulnerable. “I fell in love with you, even though I wasn’t meant to. You were just meant to be my idiot co-worker, but I fucking can’t get enough of you and I just… I want you in my life, for fuck’s sake. I want you in Shigeru’s life. I want… I want to have someone to support me. I can’t do it on my own anymore, Oikawa. Please… say that you will.”

      “Just say that you love me already,” Oikawa blubbered, letting his tears run onto the pillow beneath him.

      “You love me.” Iwaizumi’s lips crushed into Oikawa’s. They were wet with tears, Iwaizumi’s lips were becoming salty and wet too, but he didn’t care. He wanted this man; he loved this man. His hands were unbuttoning Oikawa’s pajama top, then his trousers, then his boxers. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, was already very much naked. Iwaizumi clambered on top of Oikawa, their lips like magnets. They couldn’t stop kissing one another. It was sloppy, the way their lips overlapped, the way their teeth nipped out to nibble teasingly every now and again. It was sloppy. But… it was natural.

      “I—Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispered, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi. “Take it… take it slow.”

      “Wait, I should use a condom,” Iwaizumi said. “Or at least some lube.”

      “I’ll—I’ll be fine,” Oikawa pleaded. “I’ve… I’ve done this before. It won’t hurt. I promise.”

      “Don’t rush this, idiot. I don’t want to hurt you.” Iwaizumi reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a tube of lube that had been lying there, unused. He flicked the lid open, squirted some onto his fingers and applied it where necessary. Oikawa was groaning at Iwaizumi’s touch, his cock twitching every time his fingers brushed against his perineum.

      “Iwa-chan… please, just put it in… _please_ …”

      “I have to prepare you first,” Iwaizumi insisted. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

      “I… I need you, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa’s hands reached up to grip Iwaizumi’s bare back. His eyelashes were still slick with tears. _Man, he really knows how to pull on the ol’ heartstrings, doesn’t he?_ Iwaizumi kissed his boyfriend once again, gently pushing his fingers inside of Oikawa as he did so. The brunette groaned against his lips, but he didn’t speak. So, Iwaizumi did it again, and again. His groans became even louder.

      “I don’t want to leave you,” Iwaizumi said, tearing his lips away from Oikawa’s. “I’ll never leave you. So, you’re not allowed to leave me. You’re the only man I’ll ever know how to love, Oikawa.”

      “You’re mine.” Oikawa’s hands were still gripping Iwaizumi’s back tightly. He could feel Iwaizumi’s strong back muscles rippling as he slipped his fingers out of Oikawa, having decided that the brunette was ready at last. Iwaizumi’s hands were holding either side of Oikawa’s face, making sure that the brunette couldn’t look away from Iwaizumi.

      “Damn right I am.” Iwaizumi slid himself into Oikawa at last, earning himself a loud groan from the brunette.

      “Iwa-chan!” The ‘chan’ rolled off his lips in such a delicious way that had Iwaizumi’s senses going crazy. He loved this man, he loved him so much that it _hurt_.

      “Are you okay?”

      “P—Perfect,” Oikawa whispered. “Keep going.”

      Iwaizumi’s hips continued to thrust into Oikawa’s, a gentle rocking motion that elicited many throaty groans from Oikawa. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure that he was _capable_ of gentle, but now that he knew for sure that he loved Oikawa, he definitely was. He couldn’t go any faster until he knew for sure that Oikawa wanted it.

      Oikawa’s eyes were tightly shut as he groaned underneath Iwaizumi’s sweaty body. “More… please, Iwa-chan…”

      “Open your eyes, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi thrust sharply into Oikawa all of a sudden, causing the brunette’s eyes to swing open all of a sudden. Iwaizumi saw Oikawa’s brown eyes, just as innocent-looking as ever. He also heard the moan, even louder than any other he’d made so far.

      “Ha…Harder…”

      “Harder, what?”

      “Harder, Iwa-chan…” Iwaizumi obliged, breathing heavily as he continued to ravage his boyfriend. Oikawa’s groans were throaty and guttural as they tore from his throat, just as fresh as the last. Iwaizumi let out deep shuddering moans as he thrusts himself into Oikawa. The mattress was letting out that same high pitched groan every time he slammed home, causing Oikawa to let out those erotic noises, again and again.

      “Ha… Ha… Hajime…” The syllables fell fresh from his lips, invigorating a new fire within Iwaizumi. Oikawa’s body was like a furnace at this point, shaking and spluttering fire-hot words every time Iwaizumi hit his prostate at the perfect angle. “You’re… perfect, so fucking… _agh_ …”

      “Say it again,” Iwaizumi demanded.

      “Hajime.”

      “Ah… again…” Iwaizumi’s getting close now. In fact, he’s been there for a while, but he’s focused on making sure that his boyfriend gets there before he does. His precious boyfriend, the same one whose lips are slick with saliva; forehead glazed with sweat; cock leaking precum all over his stomach. Oikawa Tooru.

      “Ha… Hajime… I’m close…”

      “One more time, baby.” It’s then that Iwaizumi gets the idea to grab Oikawa’s cock. He strokes it gently, smiling when Oikawa begins to buck even harder against his body. He’s arching his back, curling his toes and opening his lips in a silent scream as he reaches his climax at last, his come spurting out all over the both of them. It’s coming out in buckets, way more than the both of them are used to.

      “Ha…ji…me…” Iwaizumi comes straight after Oikawa, but he’s a lot louder about it. He lets out one final yell before collapsing right on top of Oikawa’s body. The two lay there, recovering their breaths for a few moments. Then, Iwaizumi pulled out of Oikawa and moved to lie down next to the brunette. He noticed how Oikawa winced right after he pulled out.

      “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

      “No.” Oikawa was smiling. Iwaizumi was very quickly able to tell that this was one of Oikawa’s genuine smiles, not one of those too-wide ones that he donned for appearances. He was happy. “You didn’t, Hajime.”

      “You’re not allowed to call me that.”

      “Eh? Why not? We’ve been dating for a year,” Oikawa whined.

      “I’m used to the whole Iwa-chan thing,” he admitted. “You can’t change it now.”

      “Ehh…” Oikawa pouted.

      “Don’t make that face at me.” Iwaizumi joined their lips for one last kiss. His heart was pounding as their lips grazed against one another, the brunette clutching Iwaizumi’s back (which was now covered in multiple scratches) as they kissed. When their lips fell apart from one another and their eyes snapped open once again, they both smiled. They were content in the knowledge that they had each other, no matter what.

      “You love me,” Iwaizumi whispered.

      “You love me too,” Oikawa responded.

***

      Oikawa blinked. _Shit_. He’d zoned out once again, thinking about his Iwa-chan. He did it quite often, but never when he was in the middle of a conversation. _Especially_ in a conversation this important.

      “Sorry, chibi-chan,” Oikawa said, shaking his head. “What were we talking about?”

      “You were talking about Iwaizumi’s son, Shigeru. He looks up to me.”

      “Oh, yeah. Shigeru always gets Iwa-chan and I to throw tosses to him. He’s only nine years old, but he’s already hooked on volleyball. His favourite part is serving, since he says that scary serves are the coolest thing ever.” Oikawa let a wistful smile appear on his face. “But anyway, going back to the point, it’s not too late to give up on your volleyball career.”

      “I’m in here for fifteen years. I’ve lost weight. I’ve lost strength. I feel like I’m dying inside. I lost my career the second I got my sentence, Oikawa.”

      “Call your lawyers,” Oikawa said. “Your injuries enough will be enough to prove to a court that you shouldn’t be in prison. Right? If you just show them the evidence and prove there was misconduct, then…”

      “It won’t do anything. I’m already in a minimum security prison. If anything, it’ll only be a new headline in some newspaper. _Volleyball Ace to Taking Balls in the Face_.” Hinata’s face darkened at the mere thought of the headline. “I’ve accepted it. I’m going to serve my time and do nothing else. That’s it.”

      “Are you sure?”

      “Yes. I’ve made a friend,” Hinata said. “His name’s Kageyama.”

      “Really?” Oikawa’s eyebrows might as well have shot through the ceiling. “He’s a hard guy to get along with. Doesn’t talk about his feelings much. He doesn’t care for newcomers as well. That’s a surprise.”

      “He’s a nice person,” Hinata insisted. “He wants to keep me safe.”

      Oikawa’s eyes lit up in interest. “Oh. Hmm…” He thought back to that night he’d had sex with Iwaizumi for the first time, that night when Iwaizumi had finally opened up to him. It felt like he was watching that same relationship build-up, just with different people. An orange-haired ace and a dark-haired sniper. Both different personalities, but a common interest. “Have fun with that, chibi-chan.”

      “Yeah.” Hinata nodded. “I will.”

      “I actually taught him some things about how to run this place. Like giving the Johzenji their own dorm so that they don’t cause trouble. He acts like he hates me, but he loves me really.” Oikawa grinned.

      “Wait.” Hinata thought hard for a few moments, rubbing his forehead with one hand. “If people call him the King… that makes you the Great King, doesn’t it?”

      “Um… I guess.” Oikawa pulled out a collection of different-coloured envelopes, each with the same name written on them. _Yachi Hitoka_. “By the way, you’ve got a lot of mail from your fiancée. You should go to see her soon. I informed her about your being in medical, but she’ll be here to visit you tomorrow. Visitation’s from one p.m. to three p.m. on weekends, okay?”

      “Alright.” Hinata stood up and nodded once again at his counsellor. “Thanks. You’ve been really helpful.”

      “No problem, chibi-chan.” Hinata went towards the door and let himself out.


	24. You're in the Wrong Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo Tetsurou: the most lovable asshole you'll ever meet.

      Kuroo was leaning against a nearby wall, waiting for the orange-haired ace. Kuroo somehow managed to look like a delinquent all of the time, which irritated him. He was going more for futuristic ‘model-in-prison’ realness. According to Yaku, it was the hair. But Kenma just thought that Kuroo was a delinquent, full stop.

      “Hey. Looks like you’ve made an impression with the King,” Kuroo remarked. “Nice one.”

      “Don’t call him that. He doesn’t like it.”

      “Okay, okay.” Kuroo held up his hands in defence. “I’m taking you to meet Kindaichi and Kunimi. Well, he introduced them to you as Yuutarou and Akira. Kageyama just calls them by their first names because he can. If he’s close to you, he’ll usually call you by your last name. If he respects you but isn’t close to you, he’ll use first names. Well, except Daichi. Kageyama respects him more than anything. But with everyone else, that’s the rule. He’s weird like that.”

      “Oh. Right.” They walked down from the two offices over to the cafeteria, which had a few people moving around in it. Tanaka, Nishinoya and Asahi were in the eating area, cleaning up the floor and making sure everything was spotless. Kuroo waved at each of them. When their eyes glanced over at Hinata, they stopped moving. All three of them stared at Hinata. He was sporting cuts and bruises that he hadn’t had when he’d arrived. However, they knew better than to question him.

      They went into the back of the kitchen, where Yamamoto was preparing lunch. He had a box full of yoghurt and he was handing it over to a guy with hair that was styled like a turnip.

      “Kunimi, Kindaichi. Meet Hinata.” The two turned around to face Kuroo and Hinata. Kindaichi almost dropped his yoghurt when he realised just who Hinata was. It was the same guy who had called Kageyama ‘King’ in front of his face and ended up with a faceful of dairy milk.

      Yamamoto’s eyes looked over the Wakunan member, before looking back over to Kuroo. “Kuroo, what are you doing?”

      “Boss’s orders.” Kuroo grinned. “Kindaichi, Kunimi. It’s twenty to eleven right now. Take him to the sheds first so that he knows how to get there. Then, take him over to the palace. Kageyama wants him there before twelve.”

      The two men stared at Kuroo for a few moments, not blinking. It didn’t look like they were breathing either, not really. It took Yamamoto tapping the both of them on the shoulders to get them to blink once again.

      “You must be kidding,” Kindaichi said.

      “Well, you can go ask Kageyama personally if you want… although, he’ll be pretty pissed if you question him.” Kuroo smirked. “I’d go along with it if I were you. Plus, come on. Shrimpy here isn’t that bad. We’re rooming together.”

      Kunimi’s mouth was gaping wide open with shock. Or anger. Either way, it wasn’t a pleasant expression. “But…”

      “I’m going to find our dearest Tsukki. Later!” Kuroo dashed out of the room before Hinata could protest. While Kuroo was a bit of an idiot, he didn’t seem to be judging Hinata because he was part of Wakunan. However, these three men staring at him… Hinata knew that they were probably thinking about all the different ways they could show him who’s boss. None of those ways sounded particularly good.

      Kunimi simply stomped back over to the box of yoghurt. He didn’t speak, but his anger at the situation was made clear by the dark look on his face as he took the box of yoghurt into his hands.

      “I… I’m sorry.” Hinata wasn’t sure what else to say. His apology only seemed to make the three men hate him even more, though.

      Kindaichi stepped right up to him, stopping when they were a hair’s width away. “I don’t care if you’re injured. I don’t care if you’re fucking dying. You can rot for all I care. But you’re not just going to earn yourself a spot on our table because you’re cosy with the boss. They’re all filled. And I’m _sure_ that I told you not to come near us or the boss again.”

      “Hey, Kindaichi, calm it—”

      “Shut it,” he snapped at the cook. Yamamoto wisely stepped back, not wanting to face Kindaichi’s wrath. “You… I don’t know what the _fuck_ you’ve done to him, but I don’t like you. You Wakuwankers are bad news. If you do anything to our boss, and I mean _anything_ , I’m willing to pay the Johzenji to deal with you. They’ll have no problem handling scum like you.” Kindaichi was trembling with rage, his hands balled into fists as he loomed over the volleyball ace.

      “Kindaichi.” Kunimi put a hand on his shoulder, stopping it from trembling any further. “I share your sentiments, but calm it down for now. The boss told us to bring him, so we will. Okay?”

      Kindaichi snarled. Took a deep breath in, deep breath out. Then, he turned to face Kunimi, who was just as calm-faced as ever.

      “Fine. Whatever. I don’t like him though.”

      “None of us like this situation. But be mature about it, alright?”

      “Okay.” Kindaichi let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, Kunimi. Let’s go, then.” The two men walked out of the kitchen. Hinata awkwardly followed behind them, but he stayed a few steps behind when he saw the sharp glare that Kindaichi gave him. He was terrified. He didn’t want Kindaichi to hand him over to the fearsome Johzenji that he’d heard so many stories about. He didn’t want anyone to hurt him again.

      That little voice was in his head again. _Please don’t hurt me._

 _Please_. It’s a word that can sometimes hold all the meaning in the world. But other times, it can mean nothing at all. It won’t influence the outcome of your situation, nor will it make your life any less painful. It only makes you seem weak, because you’re willing to use that begging phrase. The only way Hinata might be able to break through these next fifteen years is if he cuts that word out of his vocabulary.

      _Please_.

***

      By the time Hinata made it to the King’s Palace, he’d been tripped up, _accidentally_ hit by swinging doors and even had his bad foot stepped on. He felt even more emotionally drained than usual, much to his dismay. The two men in front of him were looking quite smug about themselves since they were able to show the Wakunan member that they were stronger than him and that he couldn’t one-up them.

      The King’s Palace was a cosy-looking area. There was one bed for each little square, rather than the bunks that Hinata had slept in on his first day at the prison. There were exactly ten squares, but there was nobody in the room. He couldn’t see the dark-haired man he’d grown accustomed to. However, as they walked down right to the end, they reached a small door. Kunimi opened the door. Kindaichi walked through. Hinata got yet another door in his face. But then, Hinata saw just how _big_ Kageyama’s room was compared to the other squares in the King’s Palace. There was a double bed, a mini-fridge, a little heater thing for food and of course, Kageyama himself. He’d been standing at the fridge, but when he saw that his bodyguards had arrived with Hinata, he plucked his earbuds out and nodded at the three of them.

      “Kindaichi, Kunimi. Good afternoon,” Kageyama said, taking the box of yoghurt out of Kindaichi’s hands. Kunimi had originally been carrying them, but once he’d dropped the box one too many times, Kindaichi had taken over. “I trust that you’ve been treating Hinata kindly.”

      “Of course.” Kindaichi nodded. “There’s also some complementary soup in the box, by the way. Yamamoto says it’ll help Hinata recover better.”

      “Give him my regards.”

      “Sure.” Kindaichi bowed his head down low, an act of respect to this man who was so much more powerful than him. “Is that all you need, Boss?”

      “Yes. You can leave now.” Kindaichi and Kunimi nodded once again before slipping out of the room. It was quite dark in the room, actually. Kageyama had turned the lights off in there since he didn’t like the bright lights. They hurt his eyes. So, the only source of light was the heater, which was bubbling away with a small pot on it. “Hey, sorry. I’ll go turn on the lights.”

      Hinata nodded. He was feeling a little shaky after everything he’d just seen. He didn’t understand why Kageyama wanted to help him, he really didn’t.

      “Is something wrong?” Once Kageyama had turned on the lights, he noticed just how red-faced Hinata was.

      “No.” Hinata shook his head. “I’m fine.”

      “Okay.” Kageyama went back towards the pot and stirred it a little bit more before switching it off at last. “I made ramen for the two of us. I hope that’s alright with you. I don’t have any rice packets left, so I’ll have to drop down to commissary later.”

      “I like ramen.”

      “Good.” Kageyama spooned it out into two nice-looking bowls. One of them had a slightly cracked exterior, but it was still just as sturdy as the other. Hinata could smell the aromatic scents coming from the bowls, which made his stomach practically _sing_ with hunger. Once he’d finished dividing the portions equally, he sprinkled some sort of seasoning in each one and handed one bowl over to Hinata, who was more than happy to take it. Then, he handed the small man a pair of chopsticks.

      “Um…” Hinata got even redder at the sight of the chopsticks. “I don’t know how to use chopsticks.”

      Kageyama’s eyes widened in surprise. “Aren’t you Japanese?”

      “Yeah, but… I’ve never used them. The food always ends up going all over,” the orange-haired ace quietly admitted.

      “I’ll show you then.” Kageyama rolled his eyes, but he took the bowl out of Hinata’s hands and placed it back on the small table. Then, he took one of Hinata’s hands into his and placed the chopsticks in them, making sure they were positioned properly in his hands.

      “You hold them like this. Now, you’ve got one on top of the other… the one that is tucked underneath your thumb is the one that you don’t move. The top one is the one you use to manipulate the food. So, try and pick up the sliced egg I’ve put in your ramen.” Kageyama let Hinata’s hand go at last.

      Hinata went towards the bowl, trying his hardest to focus on keeping the positions that Kageyama had instructed him about. He got the egg, lifted it up… but right when he was about to put it in his mouth, it slipped right out of his chopsticks and fell to the ground.

      “Sorry!” Hinata hadn’t been able to get rid of his blush ever since stepping into this room. When Kindaichi and Kunimi had been there, Kageyama had seemed so _powerful_. It was like he could crush them with his palm if he wanted to.

      “It’s okay.” Kageyama put a hand on Hinata’s shoulder and led him back over to the foot of his bed, where the two had been sitting. “I don’t have any forks, so I guess I’ll just feed you myself.”

      “Hey… you don’t need to do that…”

      “What? Is something wrong?” Kageyama genuinely didn’t see anything weird about offering to feed Hinata ramen. _Man, he’s really bad at social cues_.

      “You should at least finish your food first,” Hinata mumbled.

      “Nonsense. You’re injured. I made it just for you. I even chopped up some vegetables and stuff…” It was Kageyama’s turn to blush. Hinata was surprised. He’d never seen someone look so… boyish.

      “Okay.” Kageyama got up and went over to the small table. He retrieved Hinata’s bowl and walked back over to him. Then, he began to retrieve small portions of ramen with his chopsticks, feeding them through Hinata’s parted lips. “Just nod whenever you want me to give you more ramen, okay?”

      “Mmm.” Hinata nodded. “It tastes nice… really nice.”

      “Don’t be fooled. It’s the only thing I know how to make.” Kageyama fed Hinata some more ramen. The man swallowed it up like a vulture, opening his mouth wide for even more just seconds later. “You’ll be disappointed if I ever try to make something like nabe.”

      “I know how to cook,” Hinata said once he’d swallowed the next portion. “I had a really strict dietary plan, so I had to know how to cook it all. Chicken, oyakodon, sashimi… I can make it all.”

      “Ah. Maybe you’ll get work in the kitchens,” Kageyama said. “Have you been assigned a job yet?”

      “No. I’m not in any dorms yet, either.”

      “I’d like if you came to this dorm. Although, there’s not much I can do about where you go or what job you work. Warden won’t give me influence over that,” Kageyama said, now wearing one of those scary glares on his face. When he noticed that the smaller man looked quite scared, he blinked and tried his best to stop his glare.

      Hinata nodded. Kageyama fed yet another mouthful of ramen through the ace’s lips, feeling a slight burst of happiness when he finally broke into a wide smile.

      “It’s so good,” he said, chomping it animatedly.

      “What do you say that I make it for you every Friday? We’ll eat in the cafeteria every other day, but on Fridays, we’ll come down here and talk. Just the two of us.”

      “I… uh…” Hinata wasn’t sure what to say. “Why do you care about me?” _Fuck. Wrong thought process_. He’d been saving the question for a later date, but it had chosen to pop out now.

      “You remind me of myself during a time where I would’ve liked to be protected,” Kageyama replied instantly. “I don’t think you deserve to be here. So, I’m looking after you.”

      “You don’t want to… fuck me or anything, right?” Hinata got redder as the words left his lips. He went as far as to cover his cheeks with his hands so that Kageyama wouldn’t see just how red he was.

      “I’m not Kuroo,” Kageyama responded crisply. “I don’t insist on fucking the first man I see.”

      Hinata gulped. “Oh. Right.” Hinata took his chopsticks out of Kageyama’s hands, positioned them in the same way Kageyama had instructed and thrust them into the bowl. He secured a big portion of ramen between the wooden chopsticks and managed to get the ramen into his mouth without incident this time around. “I did it!”

      “Don’t speak with your mouth full, idiot.” Kageyama could feel something tugging at the corners of his lips, pulling them upwards as he looked at the small ace. He looked so proud of himself that Kageyama couldn’t help but feel proud too.

      “Let me feed you too!” Hinata jumped up from his seat and ran over to the small table, but he stopped once he felt a sharp pain in his bad foot. He almost stumbled over to the ground, but Kageyama was there in an instant, holding the volleyball ace up so that he didn’t fall.

      “Idiot,” Kageyama muttered, calmly leading Hinata back over to the foot of his bed. “You’re injured. Don’t go running around.”

      “But I want to feed you,” Hinata whined once Kageyama had placed him back on the foot of his bed. “I figured out how to use the chopsticks.”

      “I’m not hungry,” Kageyama said. “You can have my bowl if you want. You need all the energy you can get.” Kageyama didn’t want to admit that the sight of food was beginning to sicken him. He wasn’t sure whether it was because he was on a slightly lower dosage of Prozac, but he just couldn’t stomach the thought of food anymore. He usually ate through a whole box of Gun Gun yoghurt to make up for it, but he was beginning to drop pounds quicker than he would’ve liked.

      “Please. Let me feed you!” Hinata internally chided himself, realising that the word ‘please’ had just slipped out through his lips.

      “No.”

      “Please…”

      “You’ll poke my eye out.” Kageyama walked back over to the table, grabbed the now-lukewarm bowl of ramen and then returned to Hinata. He kneeled down and held the bowl out to Hinata, nodding once. “You can feed me one mouthful, but then you have to eat the rest. I heard your stomach grumbling when I was making the food.”

      “You heard that?” Hinata would’ve blushed. But since he was already blushed out, he laughed instead. His eyes swung shut as the laughter burst forth from his lips, bringing warmth to the lonely room. Kageyama felt the change in the mood, warm and sweet like a summer day walking through a park. Hinata’s cheeks were rosy, just like the cherry blossoms in Tsutsujigaoka Park. Everything about the ace reminded Kageyama of nature; warm and comforting. It was then that Kageyama decided. Summer would become his favourite season.

***

      “He’s eating lunch with the Wakuwanker?” Kinoshita wrinkled his nose at Kindaichi. “What the hell is he thinking?”

      “I don’t know.” Kindaichi sighed while taking a bite out of his yakisoba bread. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll make sure that fucking Wakuwanker understands where to go.”

      “What if the fucker’s gutting Kageyama out as we speak?”

      “Keep on going,” Ennoshita said, scribbling down notes in his notebook as per usual. “These are some great ideas.”

      “Kinoshita, you act so bitter and then wonder why nobody even remembers that you were ever part of Karasuno,” Kuroo teased. “You guys need to give Hinata a chance.” Kuroo was frustrated that people could still be so _bitter_ towards Hinata. He was going to make sure that Hinata didn’t end up working with the likes of Kindaichi or Kunimi. In fact, he’d personally ask Iwaizumi to see if Hinata could get a job working in the garden alongside Tsukishima and Kuroo. Somehow, Kuroo got the feeling that Hinata would be slightly happier there. He wasn’t the kind of guy that looked like he enjoyed being indoors.

      Not many people on the table seemed to care much about Hinata. The only people that were visibly angered about Kageyama having lunch with him were Kinoshita, Kindaichi and Kunimi. Everyone else was having conversations of their own. Well, except Tsukishima. He’d been quiet for _days_.

      “Hey, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi nudged the blonde. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

      “This yakisoba bread is more sweet than it is spicy,” Tsukishima said, placing the yakisoba back onto his tray.

      “No. What’s wrong with your emotions?”

      “I kissed Kageyama.” The words came out a little louder than the blonde had intended. Everyone on the table went quiet and turned to face him. When their table stopped talking, the loss was felt largely across the room. Their table had the most people, which meant their conversations were the loudest. Generally, it was ten to a table, but since Karasuno and Nekoma had mashed two tables together, they had twenty.

      “What?” Kuroo appeared a little pissed, since he’d been pursuing Tsukishima for so long.

      “Kageyama. _You_ kissed Kageyama?” Yaku narrowed his eyes at the blonde. “Unbelievable. I was honestly beginning to wonder if that guy was even _capable_ of being intimate…”

      “He didn’t kiss me back.” The sympathetic looks that Tsukishima received made him regret saying the words in the first place. However, he’d started telling the story, so he had to finish it. Otherwise, Ennoshita would get mad. He was looking up from his notebook, waiting for the blonde to speak. “I kissed him, but he didn’t even bat an eye. He just said ‘thank you’ and walked away.”

      Kuroo burst into loud laughter. “God, that sounds like him! He really doesn’t know how to interact sometimes.” The amusement from around the table was beginning to embarrass Tsukishima even more.

      “Stop laughing. I’m embarrassed enough,” Tsukishima said. The look on Yamaguchi’s face was unreadable. He wasn’t irritated, but he wasn’t happy either. He was perplexed.

      “Guys, let’s call Tsukki ‘Tsukkigato Gozaimashita’,” Kuroo joked, earning himself a whole load of laughs from Nekoma’s side of the table. “Yamaguchi, you’ve just earnt yourself the name Mountain Boy. Have fun.”

      “Shut up!” Tsukishima grabbed his yakisoba bread and launched it at Kuroo’s face, his fists trembling once the bread left his hands. Kuroo caught the bread in his hands easily, but he was shocked by Tsukishima's sudden outburst. “I’m so sick of you, Kuroo. How do you expect me to ever like you if all you do is make fun of me? Fuck you!”

      The entire table was shocked. It wasn’t normal for Tsukishima to have emotional outbursts like that. No matter what, he’d always remained cool, collected and sarcastic. But right now, he was acting completely out of character.

      “Inmate.” Cigster was there, holding a shot book in his hands and the cigarette-styled pen between his lips. “I’m giving you a shot. Excessive shouting. Go outside and cool off.”

      Tsukishima stormed off, all the other inmates scattering like roaches when they saw the dark look the blonde was wearing. They knew very well what he was capable of; they didn’t want to get in his way. He left the cafeteria and headed straight for the sheds. Even though Tsukishima had never smoked a cigarette a day in his life, he was wishing he had one of those menthol cigarettes that Kageyama always had on him. It was the scent he enjoyed most on Kageyama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Kuroo says that everyone should call Tsukishima "Tsukkigato Gozaimashita", the joke is that since Kageyama said "arigato gozaimashita" (thank you for what you've just done) after being kissed by Tsukishima, Kuroo's basically being an asshole. Yeah.  
> Also, when he gives Yamaguchi the nickname of "Mountain Boy", since that's what Kuroo always calls Kageyama, the joke he's making is that Mountain Boys (like Kageyama and Yamaguchi) are basically going to embarrass Tsukishima one way or another. Yeeahh, Kuroo's a meanie.


	25. Gucci and Tsukki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi find themselves in Kageyama's favourite spot.

      It was five minutes later when Yamaguchi crept over to the sheds, checking to see if Tsukishima was talking to anyone. The blonde was on his own. He was leaning against the shed, eyes closed and head up. He looked eerily peaceful, almost like a martyr that had come down from the heavens. If the sun had been out, Yamaguchi might have believed that to be true.

      “I know you’re there, Yamaguchi.” He flinched when Tsukishima’s eyes snapped open all of a sudden. His head lowered and turned to face Yamaguchi. “Come here, then.”

      The brunette obliged. He stepped through the slightly damp grass to join Tsukishima in leaning against the shed. “I think I understand why Kageyama spends so much time out here,” Yamaguchi eventually said. “It’s not near the gardens, where there’s a lot of noise, but it’s not too close to the actual prison either. It’s perfect.”

      “Nobody came here before he did,” Tsukishima said. “But now, we all come down here when we’re pissed. He’s starting trends now.” A shaky laugh left Tsukishima’s lips.

      “Hey, Tsukki…” Yamaguchi pulled on his sleeve, drawing the attention of the blonde. He looked sad, really sad. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

      “With all this shit, I never had time for love.” Tsukishima sighed. “Fuck. You know, I didn’t even know I liked him that much until he suddenly stopped showing up to the lunch table. I’d gotten used to seeing him there. I don’t know how to feel now. Do I give up on finding someone, Yamaguchi? How the _fuck_ does a sadist like me find love?”

      “You find another sadist.”

      “That’s just disastrous.”

      Yamaguchi rolled his eyes and let go of Tsukishima’s sleeve, stepping back so that he could look at the blonde properly. “Say… would you ever give Kuroo a chance?”

      “You can’t be serious.” Tsukishima frowned. “The man’s probably got ten different species of AIDS running about in his body.”

      “He hasn’t been having sex recently. You wanna know why?”

      “Because nobody wants to fuck him?”

      “Oh no. People want to fuck him,” Yamaguchi said. “But a couple of months ago, you said you would never go for a player like him. Right after that, he stopped having sex with people. Why do you think he’s always going on about how sexually frustrated he is?”

      “Eh…” Tsukishima rose an eyebrow at Yamaguchi.

      “He’s an idiot, but I think he genuinely wants you to give him a chance. I think you should talk to him,” Yamaguchi suggested. “Although, don’t do it in front of Ennoshita unless you want it to become a movie. _Two Gays Become Gayer_ , written and directed by Ennoshita Chikara. And then the sequel, _Two Gays Become Even Gayer_.”

      “Actually, I kind of fancy someone making a movie about me.” Tsukishima smirked. “And for the record, I’m not gay. I’m not anything. I just like anything that’ll cater to me.”

      “Of course. You little sadist.” Yamaguchi ruffled Tsukishima’s blonde curls up, laughing when Tsukishima slapped his hands away. “Man, you really need to brush your hair. It’s a surprise Kuroo likes you when you look like you rolled out of bed everyday…”

      “Have you seen the man’s hair? He looks like a rooster,” Tsukishima responded crisply. “He makes _me_ look like a supermodel. Even when I’m as scrawny as I am.”

      “Well, you know what they’re saying. Skinny’s the new super.”

      “I beg to differ.”

      “Whatever.” Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “You’re going to stop sulking about now, right?”

      “Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to the idiot when we’re working in the garden later,” Tsukishima said. “Hey, Yama. What about you? Is there anyone you’ve got your eye on?”

      “Have you forgotten? I’ve got a girlfriend on the outside. And a son,” Yamaguchi reminded him. “I don’t have time to be shacking up with prison sweethearts.”

      “Ah, shit. How’s Kaname doing?”

      “Mai brought him to see me last weekend. He’s starting to grow more hair now. It’s nothing like mine. It’s jet black and it’s quite curly. Kind of like your hair. I just wish I could hold him in my arms…” Yamaguchi’s heart clenched at the thought. He missed his girlfriend, he really did. He missed Kaname too. He’d been thrown into prison while his girlfriend was eight months pregnant, so he hadn’t been able to be there when little Kaname was born. It had devastated him. Yamaguchi had been given thirty years, so it would be a long time before he ever got to hold his little boy. He’d only served seven of those years so far.

      “You’ll get to hold Kaname soon.”

      “I don’t know. Twenty-three years is pretty far away, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi sighed. “Plus, I’ve picked up all sorts of unsavoury prison behaviour. I’m not going to be a good father when I make it out.”

      “Nonsense. You’ll be a great father.” Tsukishima tried to be supportive by ruffling his best friend’s hair, but the motion felt awkward.

      “Don’t be supportive. It doesn’t suit you.”

      “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

      “Sorry, Tsukki.” The brunette chuckled when Tsukishima clicked his tongue in irritation. Their becoming best friends had been inevitable the second they’d met. Their friendship had lasted several long years, even under all the immense strain of being part of a gang like Karasuno.

      “But, seriously. If you keep being good, you can get early release. Plus, they always take time off your sentence if you’re good. You haven’t been given any shots; you haven’t been to the SHU. Your sentence could easily be cut in half. You can go from serving twenty-three years to eleven and a half. You’ll be able to get out by the time Kaname goes to uni.”

      “I don’t know… I mean, if the boss is hanging out with that guy from Wakunan, I don’t think it’ll be good for any of us. Ennoshita’s been really excited because of the court case with Nakashima, their leader. If that guy comes here and sees that there’s a Wakunan with us, then shit’s going to hit the fan. Next thing we know, we’re all being thrown in the SHU.” Yamaguchi looked genuinely distressed. “I just want to do my time. That’s it.”

      “I’m sorry,” Tsukishima mumbled. “It’s my fault you’re here.”

      “No. I chose to help you, Tsukki. Remember that.”

      “No. I shouldn’t have let you. The second you told me that your girlfriend was pregnant, I should’ve let you go.” Tsukishima slapped his forehead in irritation. “But, I was too drunk on my own power to see what was happening around me. The police were desperately searching for me, following the blood trail that you’d helped me to make… I guess I wanted to keep that trail going forever.”

      “I’d have been caught eventually,” Yamaguchi insisted. “Just for being part of Karasuno. They got everyone. _Everyone_. Nakashima’s the last gang member out there, I think. As of now, they’ve managed to contain all of Japan’s most notorious gangs within these prison walls.”

      “It feels pretty small,” Tsukishima murmured.

      “Yeah.” Yamaguchi exhaled, allowing himself to inhale that slightly smoky scent in the air. Then, he breathed it back out, allowing the carbon dioxide to roll out through his lips. The two men stood there in silence, thinking over their time in Fukurodani as the clouds slid past in the air.

      Where did they go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I tend to end chapters with questions a lot. It's a bad habit of mine, i'm SORRY


	26. Moral Overlord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's heartbroken.  
> (I cried while writing this chapter. I knew it was coming but I still cried. *clutches box of tissues*)

      “Thanks for lunch, Kageyama.” Hinata licked the ramen broth off his lips and shot a grin down at the dark-haired sniper. “I appreciate it.”

      “It’s okay.” Kageyama stood up and sat down on the foot of his bed once again, looking Hinata straight in the eyes. “Now, Hinata. I need you to tell me the truth.”

      “Ah… okay?”

      “Is Ushijima the one who did this to you?” The rage was burning deep within Kageyama’s dark eyes. “Did he?”

      “No,” Hinata eventually managed to say. _Man, he really can’t read social cues_. Kageyama had spent the lunch being helpful and listening to Hinata talk about volleyball, but now he was asking all of these heavy questions.

      “Then who? It was one of the C.Os, wasn’t it?”

      “Kageyama…”

      “Tell me.” Kageyama didn’t realise that Hinata was becoming uncomfortable with the situation. He was only focused on quelling the rage within him by finding out who had hurt Hinata. He wanted to get revenge, properly.

      “Stop it.”

      “But you can’t let the C.O. get away with it—”

      “He’s dead!” The words tore from Hinata’s lips. “He’s dead, alright? There’s nothing you can do!”

      “Hinata…”

      “Is that why you’re so interested in me? You want to have some dinnertime stories for everyone else? They all fucking hate me, after all.” Usually, Hinata would’ve been crying in a situation like this. But right now, all he could do was shake with frustration. Kageyama was acting the same way that Takeru had. He just kept pushing, pushing, _pushing_.

      “You still think that of me?” There was a jolt of shock in Kageyama’s otherwise dark eyes. “You really think I’m using you?”

      “I’m not stupid! I know how things work in prison!” Hinata stood up. “Now that you’ve fed me, there’s probably some sort of deal. What, are you going to sell me off to someone?”

      “Hinata, I want to help you—”

      “Help me? Help me with what? You’re just as bad as everyone else! You’ve killed! You’ve hurt people! How can you help me, Kageyama? Tell me that. How?”

      “Don’t you dare. Don’t play moral overlord while you’re standing underneath the same roof as I am,” Kageyama said, his tone low. “Don’t.” Hinata sensed the danger behind the sniper’s words. However, he didn’t care. He was angry, _so_ angry.

      “I’m not some injured puppy that you can nurse back to health. I’m not some sort of toy that you can manipulate.” Hinata threw his chopsticks to the ground and walked towards the door. “You don’t come into my life and tell me that you want to protect me. The only thing I want you to do is _fuck off_. Maybe I wasn’t wrong when I was saying you should stay away. I’m engaged! I don’t have time to be messing around!” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

      “Alright then.” Kageyama’s irritation had reached new levels. “I’ll fuck off, that’s for sure. But I’m not leaving my own fucking room. So, why don’t you excuse yourself, Mr Independent?”

      “Don’t mock me!” Hinata wheeled around, pointing a shaking finger at Kageyama. “Don’t you dare! You’re just some sort of fucked-up individual that thinks he can just play doctor whenever he feels like it! I don’t need that, alright? I’m better than that!”

      “I honestly didn’t understand why everyone hated you so much,” Kageyama began to say. “But I think I’m starting to see it. I don’t have time for this. Get out of my room.”

      Hinata was shocked. Kageyama had just been laughing with him five minutes ago, but now he’d gone back to the same cold man he’d been when they first met. There was no shred of kindness in those eyes, no anger. Just coldness.

      “I…”

      “Did I stutter, Hinata? Leave.”

      Did Hinata make a mistake? Usually, when Hinata argued with Takeru, Takeru would usually end up intimidating the volleyball ace into silence somehow. However, now that Hinata was arguing with Kageyama, the dark-haired sniper had just closed off completely. Hinata couldn’t read him anymore.

      Hinata opened the door and walked out, but not before looking back at Kageyama. He was staring blankly at the wall, not even blinking. It was as if Kageyama had gone back to being the same old Tobio that had spent years living in fear of his father. Nothing he ever did was right, was it?

      Hinata would’ve apologised. But the words got stuck in his throat. A mere “I’m sorry” couldn’t make up for what he’d just done. He’d completely altered Kageyama’s mood with his _stupid_ words. _Why does Hinata have to be like this?_ He let the door shut, letting out a deep sigh as it closed at last. Now, Hinata was honestly and truly alone.

      Kageyama was sitting on the foot of his bed, wondering whether it was worth trying to protect the volleyball ace. But every time he even thought about giving up on protecting him, the image of Hinata’s bruised face appeared in his head. He couldn’t leave Hinata alone. Not like he’d left his teammates alone. He had to see it through, no matter what.

      But why does it hurt so much; why does it hurt to struggle like this?

      Why is it so hard?

***

      “Daichi… are you there?” Suga was whispering into the vent. He wasn’t sure how many days had passed, but ever since Daichi had vowed to move his futon away from the vent, he hadn’t heard the voice of his ex. “Please. Talk to me.”

      No response.

      “I know you can hear me, so I’ll just explain.” Suga sighed. “I’ve always been interested in polyamory, but since you’ve always been so possessive over me, I didn’t know how to bring the subject up with you. It’s not that I don’t love you. I’m not trying to be mean when I say that I love both you and Keishin. I want all three of us to be together.”

      There was some rustling on Daichi’s side, but no response. So, Suga continued. “You’re the one I love the most. You’ve looked after me; you’re in here because of me. I love you. But, Keishin makes me feel young, he makes me feel free. I love him too. We could all be together, you know…”

      Finally, there was a response from Daichi. “You’re an idiot.”

      “So, it’s been days and that’s the first thing you say to me.” Suga scoffed. “How kind of you.”

      “What you did isn’t polyamory. That’s just cheating. Either way, I’m not interested. I wanted you. But if you’re giving your attention to another man, I want nothing to do with you.”

      “But you still love me,” Suga reminded Daichi. “Remember? We were both each other’s firsts. We did everything together.”

      “That’s why I can’t believe that you’d fuck around with someone else, Suga.” Daichi could tell that Suga really couldn’t tell what was wrong with the whole situation. Suga hadn’t even _tried_ to apologise. He seemed more focused on trying to convince Daichi that polyamory was the way to go.

      “We didn’t have sex,” Suga said after a few moments of silence. “We touched each other, but I haven’t actually fucked him or anything. I promise, Daichi. I… I don’t want to let either of you go, but if I have to choose, I’ll let Keishin go. I think I’d fall apart without you.”

      Daichi felt an ache deep in his heart. It was an ache which threatened to rip his heart in half if he said the wrong thing. He wouldn’t be able to get over Suga. He knew that for sure. He _couldn’t_. But he couldn’t bear the thought of Suga also loving another man. That hurt more than anything else.

      “You’re my glue, Daichi. If you’re not here, broken ol’ me will fall to a thousand pieces and nobody will be able to salvage me. I can’t be used if I’m broken. I can only be destroyed even further. Stepped on, tossed about and thrown away.” Suga chuckled bitterly. “It’s already happening. Some guard came in and kicked me today for snoring too loud.”

      “I heard you from here, you know. You’re ridiculous.” Daichi let out a deep sigh, trying to alleviate the pain in his chest. It wasn’t working. He could feel his breaths beginning to shorten; his chest beginning to tighten. It felt like his heart was physically breaking in two.

      “I still want to grow old with you,” Suga said, leaning against the vent. “I want you to tie me up like you always do; I want you to torture me the way you do… I want you to love me, Daichi. Because I love you.”

      Daichi’s breaths were becoming quicker, trying to keep up with the spinning in his mind. _What’s happening to me? I need to hold on_ …

      “Daichi. Are you okay?” Suga’s voice was filled with alarm. “Daichi. Talk to me.” Daichi couldn’t speak. His throat was tight with emotions, his eyes were streaming with hot tears. His throat was on fire as he slammed his fist against the ground, his heart straining to keep up with his brain.

      _He doesn’t love me. He loves another man_.

      “Daichi!”

      _He never intended to marry me_.

      “Daichi, what’s wrong?!”

      _I fell in love with a man who could never love me as much as I did him_.

      “Guard! Open his door! Something’s wrong!”

      _I love him_.

      His heart stilled at last, realising the truth. _He loves him_. Daichi’s tense body collapsed to the ground, his joints slowly beginning to loosen as his body relaxed. The tears on his face were now cold, dripping onto the concrete beneath him. The fire in his throat was beginning to engulf his entire body in warmth. Daichi was going out in metaphorical flames, his light having been extinguished at last.

      “I… I love you, Suga.”

***

      They were unable to save Daichi. None of the guards had listened to Suga’s desperate cries for them to open Daichi’s cell door. It was Sunday evening when C.O. Ushijima came and opened their cell doors, only to see Daichi’s cold body lying on the ground. Suga, on the other hand, was sitting in one corner of the room, blankly staring at the other side.

      When the news reached Fukurodani, all of the inmates found themselves experiencing a widespread depression. Or at least, they were beginning to feel the symptoms. The cafeteria food was beginning to lose its touch. It became plain, lacklustre. The usually lively Karasuno and Nekoma tables were quiet, quieter than ever. Once again, Kageyama was nowhere to be seen in the cafeteria. It was as if the progress that had been made over the past few days had vanished, just from that one sentence.

      Daichi’s dead.

      It was a sentence that none of the inmates were able to believe. They didn’t even have the energy to riot. Daichi shouldn’t have been sent to the SHU in the first place; everyone knew that. Warden had done it just to prove his power, and it had resulted in Daichi’s death. If he hadn’t gone there, maybe it could’ve been prevented.

      Maybe Suga might’ve still been laughing.

      He spent a lot of his time sitting in Daichi’s square in the King’s Palace, legs folded on his lover’s bed. It was the same bed they’d fooled around in so many times, the same bed that Daichi had held Suga in as the two of them fell asleep together. Sometimes, Kageyama would come and sit with Suga. They wouldn’t speak, but they’d just think about what could’ve been. And although they wouldn’t say it, they both knew one thing. They wished that they’d never allowed Daichi to get involved with Karasuno.

      “It’s broken heart syndrome.” The expert physician, Naoi, eventually concluded. He stepped away from Daichi’s body and towards Takeda, who wrote down the notes as instructed. The inmates had been demanding answers, so Warden had eventually been roped into getting a physician to come in and diagnose Daichi officially. It had cost a lot of money, much to Warden’s dismay, but he’d gotten the answers.

      “Broken heart syndrome?”

      “Yes. As you informed me, Sawamura-kun had been in a twenty year relationship with his childhood friend, which ended after an act of infidelity. It’s understandable that the man ended up with broken heart syndrome.” Naoi unfolded his glasses and put them on before looking back up at Takeda. “Initially, it shares the same similarities as a heart attack, but there are differences. Sawamura-kun didn’t have any blockages in his coronary arteries. Nor was there any heart damage, judging by the blood tests I’ve taken.”

      “Oh… right…”

      “To condense it down for you in one sentence, the man died of a broken heart.” Naoi sighed. “Quite sad, really.”

      “Could he have been saved?”

      “If there is a quick response once heart failure kicks in, then yes. He could’ve been saved. But that didn’t happen, unfortunately. That’s why I’m here.” Naoi handed a small card to Takeda. It was a business card. It read ‘Naoi Manabu, Expert Physician’. “If you require my services again, you may contact me.”

      “Right.”

      Keishin stopped turning up to work. When he’d seen Suga after he returned from the SHU, it had been disastrous. He’d tried to talk to the grey-haired man, but he hadn’t spoken a word. He’d just pushed Keishin away and walked right past him. He wanted nothing to do with the blonde. Maybe Suga was blaming him for daring to work at the prison in the first place; for being alluring enough that Suga fell for him in the first place.

      Keishin blamed himself too. He couldn’t have known that his love for Suga could hurt someone, but he’d indirectly killed someone. That made him just as much of a murderer as anyone else in the prison. He just wanted the month to be up so that he could collect his check and go find a new job. He was sick of it; he was sick of feeling so much _pain_. Everyone was feeling pain. The Johzenji were mad that they’d been unable to convince Daichi to join their ranks. The Shiratorizawans were mad that they hadn’t been unable to get Daichi either. Everyone had liked him since he was such a kind-hearted person, someone that everyone could get along with. In a way, he had held the entire prison together. It was beginning to fall apart now. People were fighting, getting themselves thrown into the SHU on a daily basis. Everyone was hurting.

      Well, everyone except Hinata. He hadn’t known Daichi, so he just couldn’t care as much as everyone else did. The story had pulled on his heartstrings, sure. But… he just couldn’t feel the same pain that everyone else did. Whenever he went into the cafeteria, everyone would stop talking and turn to face him. Kageyama wasn’t in there, nor was Suga. Kuroo and Tsukishima were nowhere to be seen as well. Hinata had no allies. So, there was no reason for the cooks to even feed him.

      He wasn’t given the nice food that Nekoma and Karasuno were given, the food with rich meat and flavourings and all sorts of sauce. They paid for that food with their loyalty and diligence to their respective gangs. But Hinata, he hadn’t earnt it. He was subjected to the same old slop that everyone else was given. Dry rice and sloppy broth which had strange bits floating about in it. He’d tried going to the King’s Palace on Fridays as Kageyama had proposed, but nobody had been in the dorms around lunch. Kageyama’s room had been empty. The only other person in there had been Suga, who was sitting on Daichi’s bed.

      Nothing had happened with Kuroo and Tsukishima. Tsukishima was upset that Kageyama had become closed off once again, upset that Daichi had died because of the staff in the prison. Kuroo was frustrated at the system. The system which criticised them for being killers. It was the same system that would kill _them_ off without batting an eye. He hated it; he hated everything about it. So did Tsukishima. That was why the two often found themselves sitting in Kuroo’s bunk, eating stale biscuits without really tasting them. They didn’t understand why Daichi had enjoyed these biscuits so much. According to Kuroo, they tasted like an asshole that hadn’t been washed for exactly twenty-three days.

      The counsellors also felt Daichi’s loss personally. It only amplified Iwaizumi’s rage at the Warden, who failed to take any responsibility for the incident. The two counsellors had gathered all the inmates together on Movie Night and given a little speech before the movie began, explaining that they would be willing to talk to anyone if they needed to talk, no matter what. Not many inmates had taken them up on their offer, although some of them had.

      For a few weeks, everything in the prison seemed to come to a halt. It was becoming emptier as more brawls broke out, causing inmates to be hauled into the SHU one by one. Some deaths happened, causing other inmates to be hauled into max. It wasn’t a riot per se, since it wasn’t explosive. But it was a riot which shook the foundation of the prison, slowly destroying everything that had been built.

      Fukurodani wasn’t the same community it had been. It was different now. In fact, none of the inmates were sure that they’d ever be able to recover from it.

      “Inmate. You have a visitor.” Those were the words Hinata heard every Saturday. He’d slip out of his room, walk down to visitation and sit down in the chair. He’d stare at his fiancée through the large sheet of glass and pick up the phone, his only lifeline to the world.

      “How are you?” Yachi would be sitting there, looking prettied up and beautiful as usual. But Hinata couldn’t find it in him to appreciate it. He just… couldn’t. Prison was draining the life out of him.

      “I feel like shit. You?”

      Yachi gasped. “You… you swore.”

      “It’s been a month. What do you expect?” Gone was the sweet Hinata that Yachi had grown to love. Now, there was a hardened criminal sitting in front of her, wearing a dark look on his face as he gripped the phone in his hand.

      “You’re right. I’m sorry,” Yachi whispered down the phone. “I can’t expect you not to change, I guess.”

      “By the way, can you stop sending me so many letters? I really don’t give a fuck about wallpaper and clothes or whatever the fuck they contain. Unless it’s something that can get me out of this shithole, I’m not interested.”

      “Well… if it makes you feel better, the volleyball team’s performing pretty good in tournaments. Bokuto’s been a lot more explosive than usual after breaking up with Akaashi—”

      “I really don’t want to hear that right now, Hitoka!” Hinata didn’t want to hear about any more failed relationships. He was sick of watching people break down, sick of breaking down himself. He just wanted to curl up in a ball for the entire fifteen years and wait for prison life to eat away at his mind. He could already feel himself beginning to lose it, slowly but surely. He wanted something to take the pain away from him. _Anything_.

      “Sorry,” she squeaked. “I… uh… your teammates want you to put them on your visitation list.”

      “No.” He shook his head. He didn’t want his teammates to come into a place like this and see the _thing_ that he’d become. The mechanical, empty _thing_. His teammates belonged to a different world of his, a different world that couldn’t cross into this prison life that Hinata was still acclimating to. If the two worlds were ever to cross, Hinata really _wouldn’t_ be able to recover again. “I won’t let them see me like this.”

      “Shouyou. Do what you do best,” Yachi said. “Jump.”

      “What? Off this fucking building? I’d love to,” Hinata said, slamming his hand against the counter in front of him. “Fuck, I really wish I could!”

      “Inmate.” Hinata heard the C.O’s warning tone from behind him. “Stop the slamming, otherwise it’s a shot.”

      “No. When things get hard, you jump. Just… jump over these obstacles and move forward. That’s what you do best. That’s why I fell in love with you,” Yachi reminded her fiancé. “Keep your head up high. Let your teammates come and see you, please. They’re worried sick.”

      Hinata sighed. He didn’t want to destroy his teammates’ perception of him. Usually, he was able to pick himself up and keep going, but he couldn’t. He just _couldn’t_. He was scared that Takeru would show up one day and take him back; he was scared that he’d never get to speak to Kageyama again. He kept messing things up with his idiocy. One of Kageyama’s best friends is dead and Hinata hasn’t even spoken to Kageyama about it. Although, Kageyama wasn’t speaking to _anyone_.

      “Shouyou…” Yachi was trying to draw her fiancé’s attention.

      He blinked. Looked back up at Yachi. He remembered how he’d once held that face, how he’d kissed her until the both of them were in giggles. But that was a different Hinata, wasn’t it? It was a Hinata that had been able to be carefree. Now, Hinata wasn’t sure if he was capable of that anymore.

      “I should go. I’ll see you next week.”

      “Wait, Shouyou!” Hinata slammed the phone down and got up, turning away from Yachi. She was behind the glass, Hinata told himself. As long as Yachi was sitting behind that glass, she would never be able to understand what he was feeling.


	27. One Zoloft, One Prozac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because the prison's beginning to recover doesn't mean Karasuno and Nekoma are.

      When May rolled around, that was when the prison began to get itself back up on its feet. Inmates were beginning to return from the SHU; the newcomer dorms were beginning to fill up once again. The staff were beginning to do things once again. They had finally assigned Hinata a job working in the garden, although he still hadn’t been assigned to a specific dorm. Everyone else in his dorm had been assigned, predictably enough to the Nekoma dorm they’d been living in before. The other three had only been in the newcomer dorm since they’d all gone to the SHU after being involved in some gang altercation. So, Hinata was stuck with people that he didn’t know. They were all like little copies of Icicle — they wouldn’t talk to him. Although, nobody was talking to Hinata. Usually, Kuroo and Tsukishima would try to include the ace in their small conversations whenever they were all in the garden together, but the two of them were still hurting from the loss they’d faced. Hinata could feel himself beginning to die of loneliness. _What if he dies of broken heart syndrome, just like Daichi did? Wait, no. His heart hasn’t been broken by anyone yet_.

      Cigster and Iwaizumi had also resigned. While Warden had pleaded with them to stay on after the month had come to an end, they’d both refused. After seeing the fall of the prison, neither of them wished to stay. They both blamed themselves for it. Resigning was their way of taking responsibility. And now, the prison was two C.Os short and one counsellor short. Warden hadn’t had time to go and find some people to take their places. Because of that, there was even more trouble in the prison than usual. It was becoming harder to contain all these big personalities under one roof.

      Kageyama’s cigarette count was beginning to dwindle down very slightly after rising dramatically over the past two months. Suga had started to join Kageyama when it came to smoking, despite his previous abhorrence of the activity. Kageyama was slowly turning all of the Karasuno members into smokers. Even Tsukishima had tried a menthol cigarette (before deciding that he hated the feel of it and would leave the smoking to Kageyama). Ennoshita had found that a menthol cigarette every now and again helped to relieve his stress from overthinking plot lines, although he preferred the vanilla cigarettes. Yamamoto was starting to smile again, mainly because of the massive influx of customers he was getting. He’d be smoking rich by the time he got out, all because of the contraband he was selling. And since Kageyama received a fair slice of Yamamoto’s profits, Kageyama was set for life as well.

      The food in the kitchen was finally beginning to improve once again. Slowly but surely, everything was starting to fall into place once again. The puzzle pieces were sliding together; everyone was beginning to get over their sadness. Or at least, it seemed that way.

      “Ah, Kageyama. Sugawara. I’ve got your medication. One Prozac, one Zoloft,” Takeda said, handing out each respective cup. They gulped their medication down with some water and thanked the doctor with a single nod before walking out of the room once again. The two of them walked down the hallways in silence, neither of them speaking until they’d made it over to the sheds.

      “Cigarette?” Kageyama held the box out to Suga. The grey-haired man nodded and slipped a cigarette out of the box, putting it to his lips. Kageyama put a cigarette to his lips as well before putting the box back in his pocket and pulling out a lighter. He lit both of their cigarettes and then leaned back against the shed, taking a deep drag of the menthol delight. The smoke sizzled in a thin line from his cigarette; a sight he’d become used to seeing.

      “I understand why you smoke now.” Suga blew out a lengthy cloud of smoke. “It’s something I couldn’t understand until experiencing pain myself. The Zoloft hurts. My stomach aches, I can’t sleep and I keep losing weight. Although, I haven’t been eating much recently.”

      “It’s the same with Prozac.” Kageyama took another drag of his cigarette. “It’s easy for me to go three days without sleeping. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to dream.”

      “Part of me wants to stop taking this shit… but, it’s the only way I can stop thinking about _him_.” They didn’t say his name. They couldn’t. They didn’t understand how everyone could be beginning to move on, even after two months had passed. They couldn’t get over Daichi’s death. He’d been like a father figure to Kageyama and he’d been Suga’s soulmate. They couldn’t forget.

      “I just smoke because there’s nothing better to do. It’s not like I have anything to live for,” Kageyama confessed. “But… he told me to keep flying. I can’t die now, can I?”

      “In that case, give me your cancer stick.” Suga went to take Kageyama’s cigarette out of his mouth, but he didn’t need to. Kageyama was already handing out the cigarette to him.

      “I’ve already had like twelve of these,” he explained. “I’m thinking of trying a new brand.”

      “Everyone knows you for the menthol though,” Suga insisted, plucking the cigarette out of Kageyama’s hand. He put it in his mouth, now attempting to smoke two cigarettes at once. He spluttered on all the smoke however and ended up throwing both cigarettes to the floor, coughing and holding onto the shed wall. Kageyama simply raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Shut up. I know you’re not speaking, but shut up.”

      “Sure.”

      Suga recovered at last, retrieving one cigarette from the floor which hadn’t burnt out yet. He continued to smoke that while maintaining eye contact with Kageyama. “Hey… did anything ever happen with Hinata?”

      “No. I thought he was different from the rest of Wakunan, but… I don’t know. It was just a hunch,” Kageyama explained.

      “For someone that reads people so often, your people skills are really bad.” Suga poked Kageyama’s shoulder. “Come on. If you think he’s different, then he’s different. When have you ever been wrong?”

      “A lot of times. I let my personal feelings get in the way.”

      “You and feelings?” Suga snorted. “Yeah, right. You’re such a tsundere.”

      “Shut up,” Kageyama muttered.

      “By the way, I hear that you and Tsukishima kissed. How’d that happen?”

      “We did?” Kageyama rubbed his chin for a few moments, trying to remember when it had happened. No memories were coming to mind. “I don’t recall.”

      “Oh God,” Suga said, shaking his head. “Poor Tsukki.”

      “What?”

      “Nothing.” Suga’s cigarette stopped burning at last. He let it drop out of his hands and stamped it into the ground. There were so many cigarettes in that same state. They usually had to clean it up themselves every now and again, but they couldn’t resist leaving their cigarettes lying about. It was like their signature for the world, proof that they’d been in this prison with everyone else.

      “Tobio. I think we should start going to the track,” Suga proposed. “Exercise is meant to encourage well-being and all that shit. Maybe then, we’ll actually have an appetite. I guess… you know. We need to start recovering.”

      “Yeah. I suppose,” Kageyama responded. “I don’t really have stamina though. I get tired easily.”

      “Because you do nothing but smoke!” Suga elbowed Kageyama in the ribs with no warning, earning himself a series of coughs from the sniper. “See, you’re getting smoker’s cough!”

      “I—Idiot,” Kageyama managed to get out in-between coughs.

      “Are you still on toilet duty?”

      “No. I still wake up at six in the morning though.”

      “Then we’ll go at six!” Suga punched a triumphant fist into the air. “We’ll run until our lungs are burning! Running’s like Mother Nature’s way of smoking. Maybe then you won’t smoke so much.”

      “You just said that you understand why I smoke so much,” Kageyama said crisply.

      “Doesn’t mean I support it. You have such lovely porcelain skin,” Suga said. “I’m surprised it hasn’t gone yellow yet. Save yourself and stop smoking before you start to look like your prison sentence.” Kageyama had forty-three years left in prison.

      “Fuck you.”

      “Hey, I should probably tell you something.” Suga looked up at Kageyama, now with a serious look in his eyes. “Recently, my dad reached out to me. He’s been on my visitation list for years, but he’s never come to visit me. Not once. But he sent me a letter last week, asking if it was OK for him to visit me at the end of this month. He left his number on the letter as well. What do you think I should do?”

      “Talk to him.” Kageyama sighed. It was a deep sigh that made his ribcage rattle and his jaw shudder. “If my mother was still alive, I’d definitely want her to come and see me.” Kageyama was envious of all the people that lived in happy families. It pissed him off that people would fall out with their mothers and fathers over trivial matters like forgetting to send in commissary money or forgetting to send letters once a week. At least they had parents that could visit them. Parents that _wanted_ to visit them. All Kageyama had was a bucket full of regrets and memories.

      “Yeah.” Suga touched Kageyama’s shoulder and squeezed it tightly before letting go. “He’s not the only one who reached out to me as well. You… you remember Keishin, right?”

      At the sound of that name, Kageyama took a step back from Suga. “You’re talking to him.” Sure, Kageyama blamed himself for what had happened two months ago. He’d always thought that if he’d argued with Warden harder, it might’ve been enough to stop them from taking Daichi to the SHU. The three of them could’ve easily defeated all of the Fukurodani staff members. _Easily_. But, Kageyama also blamed Keishin. He blamed Keishin for messing around with a man he knew was in a relationship. He blamed Keishin for being the one to break Daichi’s spirit. He very much planned to get his revenge on the blonde the minute his forty-three years were up.

      “He just wanted to know if I was alright. He said that he’d managed to settle down someplace else in Sagamihara. He’s doing construction—”

      “Suga. I’m not interested in him.” Kageyama’s jaw had tightened imperceptibly. “I can’t believe you. You’re really talking to him after all…”

      “It wasn’t his fault, alright? I should’ve left it alone and approached the whole polyamory thing with Daichi properly. I did it wrong, okay? But… I can’t just shut myself away from everyone for the rest of my life.”

      “Of course. You’re going to do a Kuroo and go fuck him, aren’t you? Are you forgetting about what happened to Daichi already?”

      “Tobio. I’m not like you, okay? I’m not okay with being alone—”

      “But you’re okay being with the man that is the _reason_ that Daichi’s fucking dead—”

      “He is _not_ the reason!” Suga grabbed Kageyama by his collar and slammed him against the shed. “He’s the fucking reason I’m getting better, alright? He’s giving me hope—”

      “You really don’t see it, do you?” Kageyama laughed bitterly. “I knew you had your moments, but this is a new low. What the fuck, Suga?” Everyone was changing before his eyes, and there was nothing Kageyama could do about it. There was nothing _constant_ in Kageyama’s life anymore. It was all falling apart. It was ironic how when the prison began to build itself back up, Kageyama only fell apart even more.

      “Keishin didn’t do anything wrong. I know what you’re thinking. But I chose to be with Keishin, okay? I made that choice.”

      “Bullshit. He took Daichi’s life, so I’ll make sure he loses his.”

      “I blame myself for his death too. You blame yourself. Are you going to kill me too? Are you going to kill yourself?” Suga let Kageyama’s collar go. “You can’t keep doing this whole _life for life_ thing. It doesn’t work like that, Tobio. Deaths can never be attributed to just one person.”

      Kageyama tried to walk away from Suga, but he grabbed onto the sniper’s arm, stopping him from going any further. “No. You’re not walking away this time. For once in your fucking life, can you just learn to start facing things head-on?”

      “I don’t _walk away_. I finish what I started, unlike you.” The mood between the two had gone sour. Sugawara and Kageyama had never found themselves in an argument before, even during the numerous years they’d known each other. But now everything was falling apart.

      “No. You’re the coward who killed his father and then proceeded to act like it had never happened. You’re the coward who killed the former leader of Karasuno and took his place like it never happened. You’re the coward who ran away when we were all getting thrown into police vans. Don’t you dare paint yourself as the messiah.” Kageyama would’ve bit back with an equally venomous response, but he found himself actually thinking about Suga’s words. _He’s right_. Kageyama killed, but he didn’t take responsibility for any of it. He killed when it benefitted him, not when it benefitted the world.

      “Yeah. I’m not a messiah. I never claimed to be a messiah. But you’re fucking around with Daichi’s killer, so you’re no messiah either. The only thing you’re doing is disrespecting Daichi beyond the grave. You have _no_ right to be sad. _None_.”

      Suga was the first one to throw the punch. Kageyama responded in kind. Soon, the two of them were wrestling on the ground, punching and kicking at one another. They most likely would’ve tired out if Kuroo and Tsukishima hadn’t heard the thuds and various snarls. It took the duo a while to pull Kageyama away from Suga. But, once they’d finally managed to separate the fighting pair, Suga burst into tears while Kageyama just sat there, quietly shaking. He couldn’t cry. It had been years since Kageyama had last cried. He wasn’t sure if there was something wrong with him, or if he was just broken.

      He wanted to know when it would get better.

      When will his heart stop aching like this, aching the way it is now?

      He hates this feeling. He wants it to stop.

      He needs it to stop.


	28. Rooming with the Johzenji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata finds himself rooming with the gang everyone warned him about. Oops!

      It was two days later when Hinata was finally assigned to a bunk. He was led there by Icicle, who didn’t answer when Hinata asked which bunk he’d been assigned to. He was scared that he would end up in one of the _bad bunks_ that Kuroo had told him horror stories about when he first arrived.

      “Ah, so we got the Wakuwanker.” A guy with a yellow band around his head looked up at Hinata upon his entrance. “He’s pretty young-looking, don’t you think? Terushima would love him.”

      Hinata’s eyes widened at the name _Terushima_. He knew the name well. It was the first person he’d been warned about upon arriving at the prison. Even before Kuroo had warned him about Kageyama, he’d been warned about Terushima by Suga.

      He looked around the dorm. There was a single banner hanging from the wall. The kanji for _Johzenji_. He’d ended up in the worst bunk possible. He would’ve ran back out and gone to his newcomer dorm, but Icicle had already excused himself and left.

      He walked into a random square which had a futon, rather than the comfy-looking beds he’d seen in the King’s Palace. Judging by how empty this square was, it was most likely his. But there were two futons in there. Each square in this dorm had two futons, rather than one futon for each square. And right now, the Johzenji were beginning to file into the square. They were surrounding Hinata, who was currently biting his nails off. He’d never had much nails to speak of, but now, their existence had been reduced to nothing but rumours.

      “Alright. We’ll introduce you to all of us, one by one. I’m Higashiyama. My dick’s just as long as my name.”

      “You use that line way too much,” one spiky-haired man said, giving Higashiyama a look of disdain. “It’s not true, by the way. I’m Futamata.”

      “You’re only saying that ‘cause you’ll never get it,” Higashiyama said, folding his arms with a childish pout on his face.

      “I did,” Futamata said. “It was very disappointing.” The rest of the Johzenji members began to laugh, leaving Higashiyama with a dark blush on his face. He narrowed his eyes at everyone, but he didn’t speak any further.

      “Alright. I’m Numajiri, although they call me Numajitties since I give the ladies numb titties.”

      “Nobody calls you that,” Futamata said. “You just want to give yourself a cool name for no reason.” Hinata was quickly able to tell what kind of guy Futamata was. He made fun of his teammates in order to garner laughs. Although, they didn’t seem to mind too much.

      “Fuck you, Futamasshole.”

      “Foot in my asshole? I don’t have a thing for that, but ask Bobata over there. He’s a freak,” Futamata joked. “He used to be some proper famous pornstar, you know. He called himself Captain Cock.”

      “Futamata! Don’t tell them!” Bobata was a shy-looking guy who was currently blushing even harder than Higashiyama. Personally, Hinata couldn’t believe that someone like Bobata had been _famous_ for something like that. But then again, the Johzenji were known for being overly sexual. They made Kuroo look like an amateur.

      “Oh please, like we didn’t know,” Futamata said, rolling his eyes. Then, he set his gaze onto a guy who was currently hiding behind Higashiyama. “Ay, Tsuchiyu, come out. Introduce yourself.”

      He pretended not to have heard Futamata.

      “Alright, then. That guy over there’s a creep. You might find him _tsuching you_ in your sleep,” Higashiyama joked. Hinata had figured out yet another one of the Johzenji. Higashiyama seemed to be a guy with cringey puns who seemed quite down-to-earth.

      Futamata decided to add onto Higashiyama’s explanation. “If he’s not touching you, then he’s probably touching himself. You’ll want to buy earplugs unless you like the idea of hearing this creep screaming his mother’s name into his pillow every night while he jacks off.”

      Tsuchiyu flushed bright red. “My mother’s called Aki! My girlfriend’s called Akiko!”

      “Yeah, don’t act like you’re differentiating between the two.” Futamata snorted. “There’s two more of these fuckers. Terushima and Izaki, but they’re not here. Izaki’s up in max and Terushima’s down in medical. He has a thing for guys in glasses,” Futamata explained.

      “Oh… right.” Hinata was nervous. _What if they come after him? Kageyama said that they’re all rapists. Terushima’s the guy who cat-called him once_.

      “Anyway, you’re just in time. We’re playing pass the blunt.” Futamata held up a blunt, although it hadn’t been lit yet. “We talk about sports and shit while passing this. They say that if you smoke a blunt a certain amount of times, you reach a weed-induced state of enlightenment. You see little details that nobody else can.”

      “Ahh. Does it give you x-ray vision? I’d like to see what Oikawa looks like under those cringey ass t-shirts.” Terushima walked into the dorm, wearing that signature smirk of his on his face. He had his hands shoved into his pockets and his hair slicked back, making him look like an asshole guy from the nineties. Then, his eyes glanced over Hinata, who was trying to make himself look as small as possible. “Hey, it’s you. The one with the nice ass.”

      “I—I’m engaged,” Hinata squeaked.

      “Half of these guys have girlfriends. Doesn’t mean they can’t have fun,” Terushima said, slowly advancing towards the orange-haired ace. The rest of Johzenji took a step away from Hinata. _Doesn’t look like they’re planning to stop Terushima, then_. “So, what do you say? We’re rooming together, after all.” Terushima smirked.

      Hinata was about to say _no_ , but the words got stuck in his throat. He’d long ago learnt that the word _no_ didn’t hold any power over people like this. So, Hinata said the next best thing that would. “I’ve got AIDS.”

      “Oh shit.” Terushima made a beeline for his futon, that one word enough to make him lose all interest in the orange-haired ace. “Never mind. I don’t care how nice your ass is, I’m not risking that shit.”

      Hinata was wishing that he’d been smart enough to use that excuse when he’d been with Takeru. However, at the time, he hadn’t had the foresight. Now that he’d been in prison for almost three months, he was beginning to learn how to get around on his own.

      “Wait,” Higa said. Hinata couldn’t remember his full name, so he’d resolved to just call him ‘Higa’ for short. “Should we be passing the blunt with him?”

      “HIV doesn’t spread through saliva, idiot.” Futamata smacked Higa on the head. “You don’t have any sores or anything, right?”

      “No. But it’s okay, I don’t want the blunt—”

      “It’s settled! Alright, circle up guys!” Everyone hopped into a circle, settling themselves down on little cushions. They were sitting in seiza, much to Hinata’s surprise. “So, Hinata. What we do is that we pass it around once, and once everyone’s had a go, someone starts a conversation about any random topic. We carry it on and see where the blunt takes us!” Futamata whipped out a lighter and lit the blunt.

      “You sound so cheesy, Futamata. That’s unlike you,” Bobata said.

      Futamata rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Alright, Hinata. We’ll let you begin. Here you go!” He passed the blunt over to Hinata, who inspected it curiously. It had a really strong smell, one that Hinata didn’t like. He wrinkled his nose at it, but he was aware that there were six people waiting for him to give it a go. _Well, it’s only once_ …

      After a long silence, Hinata finally put the blunt to his lips. Through some stroke of luck, he managed to puff on it properly without spluttering all over himself. Since he’d seen his friends smoke so many times, he’d figured out how it should be done. Right after letting the smoke blow out from his lips, Hinata could feel himself beginning to relax. He’d spent so long being tense, but as the smoke left his body, his joints were beginning to loosen up. He wanted to take another puff.

      “Hey, don’t hog it!” Higa nudged Hinata before taking the blunt out of his hands, taking a monster puff right out of it. “Ah, damn. That hits the spot, I tell ya—”

      “Higa, shut the fuck up,” Futamata snapped, snatching the blunt out from Higa’s thick fingers. “You’re meant to be quiet.”

      “Futamasshole,” Higa muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd mention, seiza (literally 'proper sitting') is a Japanese traditional way of sitting. That's why Hinata's surprised that the Johzenji would use such a traditional method for the purpose of blunt-passing.


	29. Day and Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Kuroo finally get back up on their feet, only to fall down once again.

      “Are Kageyama and Suga still fighting?” Kuroo and Tsukishima were working on the garden as per usual. They were shovelling up weeds, planting new tomato seeds and harvesting what there was to harvest. It seemed easy, but maintaining all sorts of plant types on a daily basis was a lot more taxing than people realised. Hinata was in charge of raking up the soil and applying compost wherever was necessary. However, since he’d been moved to his new dorm, he’d been given the day off to adjust. That left Kuroo and Tsukishima on their own.

      “No, but they’re not talking to each other anymore,” Tsukishima responded. “They both said some pretty harsh things to one another…”

      “I told you we should’ve jumped in when they started talking about Keishin,” Kuroo muttered. “You’re like Kageyama. You can’t read social cues to save your life.”

      Tsukishima clicked his tongue at Kuroo while raking through a newly prepared patch of soil. He was preparing to plant some onions there, since he’d noticed that his dinners were beginning to lack diced onions. Tsukishima loved onions, mainly because he liked the idea of people crying while cutting through them. “You’re the one who doesn’t know when to stop talking.”

      “Alright, Clock-san. You going to click your tongue again? Please do.”

      Tsukishima growled, but he didn’t say anything else. The two of them worked in silence for a little longer, both of them shifting heavy plant pots and moving things around until Kuroo dropped the bag of compost he’d been holding and went towards Tsukishima.

      “What is it?”

      “That’s way too heavy for you,” Kuroo said, taking the bag of compost that Tsukishima had been holding. “Let me carry it.”

      Tsukishima was shocked, but he didn’t dispute the decision. “Go ahead.” He let go of the compost bag and allowed Kuroo to carry it into the greenhouse. Tsukishima followed after Kuroo, dragging along the other compost bag the rooster-haired man had abandoned.

      “Hey, it’s fine. I can handle it.” Kuroo tapped Tsukishima’s nose and took the compost bag. Then, in one swift move, he lifted the compost bag and swung it onto the pile with a loud grunt. Then, he turned around and dusted his hands off with a big grin on his face. “Done! We can go get a snack now, if you want. There’s been a lot of heavy lifting.”

      “Y…Yeah. Sure.” Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima’s hand and began to run out of the greenhouse, despite Tsukishima’s protests. They ran into the prison, through the corridors and all the way up into the King’s Palace. Since Kageyama usually ended up with an abundance of yoghurt, he’d sometimes offer some pots to the Karasuno members. They didn’t understand the man’s obsession with Gun Gun yoghurt, although they had to admit that it tasted good.

      Kuroo pulled Tsukishima into his square, only to trip over his own two feet. Kuroo landed smack-bang on his back, managing to fall right on top of the bed. Tsukishima fell on top of him, his glasses slipping off as he fell. They somehow managed to avoid bumping heads, but that didn’t change the awkwardness of the situation. Tsukishima was straddling Kuroo, and Kuroo was blushing hard at the sight of Tsukishima without his glasses. The two stared at each other for a couple of moments, neither of them speaking.

      “Kuroo.”

      Kuroo gulped. The way the name rolled off Tsukishima’s tongue felt different from usual. It felt like a spell, a spell that he was casting on him. Tsukishima was the evil wizard, and Kuroo was the test subject. He did not mind one bit.

      “Do you still have a thing for me?”

      “Well…” Ever since the day where Tsukishima had admitted that he’d tried to kiss Kageyama, Kuroo had stopped trying to make passes at him. Tsukishima had approached Kuroo after the whole incident and quietly explained that he wanted to be friends. But now, Tsukishima was wondering if he could backtrack that statement.

      “A thing would be putting it lightly,” Kuroo eventually said. “I’ve always liked you. At first, I was just wondering if it was because of my thing for blondes, but then it just wasn’t going away and… I don’t know. I made you uncomfortable, though. I’m sorry.”

      “It’s fine.” Tsukishima clambered off Kuroo’s body and went towards his small table, where there sat two fresh pots of Gun Gun yoghurt. He tossed one over at Kuroo and began to open the other one. But, when Kuroo came behind Tsukishima and turned him around by the shoulders, it seemed like fate when their lips just happened to melt together.

      “Stop me… stop me if you don’t want this,” Kuroo mumbled against his lips, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Tsukishima’s prison trousers. He pulled himself closer to Tsukishima, kissing those soft lips so hard he thought that he’d suffocate any second. Tsukishima’s hand grazed against Kuroo’s toned abs, down to his defined hip bones. His hands began to edge the prison trousers off Kuroo’s hips, an action which the dark-haired leader didn’t resist. They were slowly undressing each other, clumsily but quickly.

      Their lips froze against one another when Kuroo’s hand slipped into Tsukishima’s boxers, gently gripping the blonde’s backside. Tsukishima groaned, _oh that was a sound that Kuroo wouldn’t forget for days_ , and bit down sharply on Kuroo’s lips.

      “K—Kuroo…” the blonde whispered, tearing himself away from Kuroo’s lips. “Should we be doing this?”

      “Do you want me to do this,” Kuroo said. It was a question, but it sounded more like a statement when it slipped out from Kuroo’s slightly parted lips.

      “I don’t know.”

      “I’ll tell you the truth,” Kuroo whispered, aligning his lips with Tsukishima’s ear. “I want to ravage you, right now. I want to taste you; I want my name to be the one you think of when we do this. I want to have your name on my lips and nothing else, Tsukishima.”

      His words were enough to stun Tsukishima’s thought process for now. The blonde clutched onto Kuroo’s waist and whispered one word to the dark-haired kinkster. “Please…”

      Kuroo slid Tsukishima’s boxers off, joining his lips with the blonde once again as they stumbled over to Tsukishima’s bed. Kuroo positioned Tsukishima so that he was sitting up and leaning against the wall, which made it easier to touch the blonde. Then, Kuroo’s hand began to slick Tsukishima’s length, slowly and tentatively.

      “Agh… Kuroo…” The groan tore from Tsukishima’s lips, a sound that Kuroo definitely was not used to hearing. He wanted to hear that sound, again and again. “Call me… Call me Tsukki…”

      “Tsukki,” Kuroo murmured, letting the soft padding of his thumb graze against the tip of Tsukishima’s cock. The blonde bucked his hips upwards, throwing his head back as he let out a slient gasp.

      “Kuroo…”

      Kuroo continued to tease the blonde for a while, smiling at his every reaction. It was so painfully obvious that he was new to this, but Kuroo found it endearing. He let his lips nibble along Tsukishima’s as he began to quicken the pace of his hand, jerking the blonde off quicker and quicker. Kuroo’s lips were absorbing Tsukishima’s groans, which were increasing in volume as Kuroo quickened his pace. He was desperate to do more to the blonde, but he kept reminding himself that Tsukishima was new to this. He had to pace himself; he had to get Tsukishima used to this.

      “I’m close, K—Kuroo…” That was the last thing that Tsukishima said before Kuroo performed his finishing move. The dark-haired man let his hand go slack for a few moments, frustrating Tsukishima. But then, out of nowhere, Kuroo lowered his lips right down to Tsukishima’s length and began to lap at his glistening tip, pinning the blonde down to the bed with his two hands so that he couldn’t move. Tsukishima was groaning, biting his lip as Kuroo took him into his mouth, sucking and licking every single area which made Tsukishima buck his hips harder than before. He was coming, coming harder than he could’ve ever anticipated.

      “Kuroo!” He let go at last, gripping the sides of his bed as he reached his climax. Kuroo had moved so that he could catch Tsukishima’s come in his mouth, smiling when he managed to get most of it. The remainder of it dribbled down Tsukishima’s cock, but Kuroo moved to lap that up as well. He was eager-eyed like a cat, lapping up whatever he saw. “K…Kuroo…” Tsukishima was still trembling, his cheeks flushed and his lips glistening. It was different from the Tsukishima that Kuroo knew. He liked this Tsukishima. He liked being the reason for this dramatic personality change.

      “You okay?” Kuroo grabbed the folded blanket on the floor and placed it over Tsukishima, knowing that the blonde would most likely start beginning to feel conscious of himself if Kuroo spent too long admiring the sight.

      “Yes.” Tsukishima nodded, pulling the blanket up over his body. “I am.” He smiled at Kuroo. This wasn’t one of his mirthless smiles, not one of those sadistic smirks… this was an actual, _actual_ smile. Kuroo couldn’t stop staring at the blonde. He was entranced, entranced by how beautiful one man could be. So was his cock, apparently.

      It was then that they heard the sound of a door opening. Kageyama poked his head out, looking at the duo in disdain. He’d been listening to his music, but not even his MP3 could block out Tsukishima’s moans. “You two are disgusting.”

      “Don’t hate, masturbate!” Kuroo put a thumbs up in Kageyama’s direction. Kageyama slammed the door shut in response. Kuroo looked down at Tsukishima, who was now blushing once again.

      “He heard us…”

      “Good. You sounded beautiful.” Kuroo flicked the blonde’s nose and got up, already beginning to pull his prison trousers back on. “Now, you’re probably exhausted. Get some sleep. It’ll be dinner soon,” Kuroo said. “You can come to my square afterwards if you want, but I’ll warn you now. Yaku _will_ kick my ass if I try to seduce you in there, so you’re safe.” Kuroo winked before leaving. Tsukishima would’ve reminded Kuroo that he’d forgotten to put on his shirt before leaving the King’s Palace, but he was so tired that he couldn’t even mouth the one word he’d just spent the past few minutes groaning.

      _Kuroo_.

      Tsukishima drifted off to sleep, feeling as if he were a new person. Is that what love is, Tsukishima wondered. Is love something that can change a man so drastically? If so, Tsukishima wanted more of it. He wanted as much love as he could get.

***

      Come dinnertime, Kageyama had chosen not to show up once again. Neither had Tsukishima, although that was because he was still tired from earlier. In fact, half of the usual table members had disappeared. Kuroo was gone; Kinoshita was gone. Even Kenma had disappeared, and he was _never_ late for dinner. Suga was there, although he was nowhere near as lively as he usually was. He was quieter than usual.

      Meanwhile, Hinata was finishing up in the Johzenji dorm. They’d all spent quite a long time discussing the pros and cons of tourism, a subject that none of them could even remember getting to in the first place. Hinata had been shocked to see that the Johzenji weren’t as evil as everyone made them out to be. If you looked past the whole _they’re-in-there-for-sexual-assault_ part, they were actually kind of… _normal_. They’d all accepted Hinata into their dorm without question, unlike any of the other people there. They hadn’t even asked him anything about his time in Wakunan, much to his relief.

      “Hey, Hinata.” Higa nodded at the orange-haired ace. “You’re pretty chill. I was honestly expecting you to be terrified of us…”

      Terushima cackled. “Maybe he hasn’t heard the stories about us.”

      “Well… I heard that one of you molested a child…”

      Terushima was the one to speak again this time. “First of all, I didn’t molest her knowingly. It was a woman who was in a bar, she looked like she was in her mid-twenties so I made a couple of moves on her, touched up on her a little. You know, the whole shankey-doodle. Turns out she’s a fourteen-year-old. So… yeah. I have a thing for young-looking people, but I didn’t actually know she was a child. I’m not _that_ creepy.” He shuddered at the thought.

      “Oh…” Hinata nodded. While they were all definitely creepy in their own way, they also weren’t as scary as many people depicted them to be. Although, Hinata couldn’t look past the whole idea of them being in prison for sexual assault. As a victim himself, he still wasn’t completely sure about them. But… he also couldn’t overlook the fact that they were one of the few people being kind towards him. One of Hinata’s weaknesses was that he could often be too trusting, even after everything that had happened to him.

      “Anyway, it’s dinner,” Futamata said, rushing towards the door. “Let’s eat, boys! I’ve got the munchies.”

      “I wish we got those Nekoma dinners,” Higa muttered, following after Futamata. “It’s ridiculous how Nekoma and Karasuno get priority just because of their stupid gang code. And they literally let a _murderer_ run the prison, like is the warden okay?”

      “For real,” Bobata said. “It’s ridiculous. I hate them so much. They think they’re all that just because they’re famous and have movies and fan bases and shit and… and…”

      “Bobata, don’t make yourself envious,” Higa warned. “Your head will burst.”

      “Which one?” Futamata quipped. “Captain Cock over there has a humiliation fetish.”

      “Futamata!” Bobata flushed a bright red once again. “Shut… shut up!”

      “You should be telling yourself that. Man, all the moaning you did in those videos. So fake,” Futamata teased, skipping down the corridors with a smirk on his face.

      “Guys, I’m going to go,” Hinata said, quickly excusing himself.

      “Sure thing. Have a good one,” Numajiri called out. Hinata skipped down the opposite direction where the Johzenji were going and went outside. He was headed towards the sheds. He remembered when Kindaichi and Kunimi had taken him there (albeit quite reluctantly) and explained that Kageyama spent more time there than he did in his own room. Hinata was hoping that he would be there. He needed to apologise to the sniper, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to move on any further from himself.


	30. The Notebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's determined to talk to Kageyama, even if the sniper's still holding his grudge.

      As Hinata had expected, Kageyama was standing behind the sheds, blowing smoke into the air as per usual. It was a surprise that he hadn’t been busted by any C.Os yet, actually. But since they were understaffed, they were only standing about in the areas where there were more inmates. Hardly anyone went near the sheds, so there were almost never C.Os around there.

      Hinata finally opened his lips and mustered a loud “Hi!”

      Kageyama turned to face Hinata, who was knitting his fingers together. In response, Kageyama blew out smoke. Right in Hinata’s face. _Oh_. Hinata stepped back. His eyes were beginning to water; he wanted to cough. So, he did. He let out a cough, one which rattled his sore ribcage. Hinata had been running on the track every day, which had greatly improved his healing, but he still had a long way to go before he was fully recovered.

      “I know you’re angry at me. I’m sorry. But… I was wondering how you are!” Hinata had to resist the urge to slap himself. He sounded _way_ too happy. He was trying too hard, he knew that.

      “To borrow your words, I feel like an injured puppy.” Kageyama’s eyes were wide and empty. One certain kanji popped up in Hinata’s mind. A kanji that meant sky, but it also meant empty; void. That was the best way to describe how Kageyama’s eyes were right now. He looked skinnier than Hinata remembered. When Hinata had arrived, Kageyama hadn’t been exactly muscular. But now, he looked like he could simply melt into the back of the shed wall.

      “Can I nurse you back to health, then? It’s my turn to play doctor.”

      “I don’t get you.” Kageyama puffed out some more smoke, this time making an active effort to avoid blowing it into Hinata’s face. “You come to me, you talk to me but then you push me away. Make up your mind. Do you give a fuck or not?”

      “It’s not that simple.”

      “Well, I don’t want to talk right now. I’m tired.” Hinata knew that Kageyama wasn’t talking about physical exhaustion. He was mentally exhausted. It was clear in the way he warily lifted his arm up to take a puff of his cigarette; in the way he slowly turned to face the sky above him. It was dark, cloudy. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the sun, even though it was nearing the end of May.

      “It was Tendou.”

      “Eh?” Kageyama’s eyes were on Hinata’s once again, scrutinising the small volleyball ace. “What about him?”

      “The C.O. who… hurt me,” Hinata quietly admitted. “It was Tendou. Something about me reminded me of Ushijima, so… he chose to use me. I was ashamed, so I didn’t want to talk about it.”

      Kageyama sighed. “You made it clear you don’t want anything to do with me. Why are you telling me this?”

      “I’m sorry.” Hinata clamped his hands around Kageyama without warning, startling the sniper. Kageyama pushed the orange-haired man off him without hesitation, taking several steps away.

      “Don’t,” he snapped harshly. “Don’t touch me like that.” The only person who had ever been granted the privilege of hugging the sniper had been his mother, back when she’d been alive. Kageyama wasn’t going to let this man just come and comfort him whenever he decided that it was convenient.

      “Wait, Kageyama.”

      “I don’t have any interest in you anymore. Leave me alone.” Kageyama would’ve walked inside, but he’d only made it halfway through his menthol cigarette. He wanted to at least finish it before going inside.

      “Fine. Take this, then. Please.” Hinata was holding out a small notebook to Kageyama. “I bought it from commissary.”

      Kageyama took the notebook into his hands. On the cover was written ‘Note Notebook’. Kageyama raised an eyebrow at the title, noted the kanji which had been written with completely messed up stroke orders and the colour itself, dark blue. He opened it up. There, Hinata had written a short summary in his scrawled handwriting.

 

**I’ve noticed that we’re not good at talking to each other. So, I figured that we might be able to get along better if we write notes in this notebook and pass it back and forth. We have to ask each other questions and we have to answer all of them. We can also talk about our day and strange things that happen to us. You know, that kind of thing. The only deal is that we’re not allowed to talk about anything here in real life, unless we both agree that it’s okay. Also, if either of us don’t ask the other a question (rhetorical or not) then that means the conversation will come to an end. That means we’ll have to invest in a new notebook.**

**You still with me? Good. You don’t have to talk to me face-to-face. But at least, talk to me this way. I… I want you to be able to understand me. So, I’ll start. (Man, my hands hurt.) What’s your favourite colour?**

**-Hinata**

 

 

      Kageyama looked up at Hinata, whose eyes were strangely dull. They hadn’t been like that before. He had opened his mouth to give Hinata an automated “No”, but upon seeing his facial expression, he shut his mouth once again. His cigarette had drifted to the ground, clearly forgotten about.

      “Give me a pen,” Kageyama ordered. Hinata produced a pen and handed it over to Kageyama, who began to write down a response.

 

**I don’t have a favourite colour. They’re all dead to me.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Kageyama passed the notebook to Hinata, who then began to scribble down a response straightaway.

 

* * *

 

**You’re meant to ask a question, Bakageyama. *sigh*. I’ll ask another, I suppose ^o^**

**Why do you call people you’re close to by their last names?**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**Who told you that?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

**This time, you didn’t answer my question. *even bigger sigh*. Answering a question with a question does NOT count, Kageyama. But it was Kuroo who told me that.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**First of all, don’t believe everything Kuroo tells you. There’s no ‘rule’ to the way I call people. I’ve always thought that first names don’t have the same touch of intimacy that last names do. There’s a history behind my last name, so I’ve always seen other people’s last names as the same. That’s my opinion on names, but I just call people whatever I want.**

**Why did you say those things to me after I made you ramen?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

**I’m not good at trusting people. I was in an abusive relationship for a lot of years, I guess. You remind me of him. It’s not your fault, but… yeah. I don’t want to talk about it.**

**Will you make me ramen again? It’s Friday tomorrow.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**Ramen’s not cheap, you know. I was going to trade my ramen for some new earphones. Mine broke.**

**Do you think I’m made of ramen?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

**Course not, Kageyama. You’re made of nabe.**

**What’s your favourite food?**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**You just said it. Nabe. It’s what my mother used to make.**

**How long do I have to keep doing this? My fingers are made for sniping, not writing.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

**We can stop now if you want. But, you didn’t answer my question. You answered my question with a question, Kageyama. CAN WE EAT RAMEN TOMORROW?**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**CAN YOU STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THIS?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

**IF YOU SAY YES, THEN MAYBE?**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

**I still haven’t forgiven you. I know I struggle with showing my emotions, but the things you do hurt. Especially when I’m trying my hardest.**

**I’m giving this to you, and then I’m going inside. I’ll see you at quarter to twelve tomorrow.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Kageyama stayed true to his promise. He handed the notebook to Hinata and walked inside, leaving Hinata on his own. He was clutching the notebook in his hands, reading over those words that Kageyama had written. He was surprisingly eloquent. He also seemed to be quite sensitive, despite his cold exterior. _Suga was right. He’s a tsundere_.

***

      It was five in the morning when Hinata found himself creeping into the King’s Palace. Everyone in there was asleep, thankfully. Hinata’s eyes widened when he saw that some of the Nekoma members were in there, lounging on some of the empty beds. Not Daichi’s, though. Suga slept in that one. He’d always sleep on top of the bed, never under the covers.

      He tentatively opened the door to Kageyama’s room, the one which was separated from everyone else’s. He went to such lengths to keep himself away from the rest of the prison. Hinata couldn’t help but wonder how lonely someone like Kageyama must feel on a daily basis.

      Hinata stopped for a moment when he spotted Kageyama’s sleeping face. The man had dried tears on his cheeks. _Tears_. He’d left the lights on in the room, so Hinata could see them just as clear as ever. There were dents in the wall where he’d punched it. And there was a single sheet of paper at the foot of Kageyama’s bed. It was a letter. Hinata couldn’t stop himself from picking it up and reading it, his heart throbbing as he scanned the words on it.

 

**Tobio. It’ll be a while before I get to see you again. But, I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m doing just fine. The doctors don’t know what they’re talking about. If anything, the view from my hospital window’s beautiful. I can see the cherry blossoms and the sun from here. I loved your father because he reminded me of the sun. He reminded me of the summer. When you were born, it was like I was holding the stars in my hands. So precious, so sweet. I know you’ll grow up to make me proud, won’t you? I love you so much, Tobio. I’ll come home and then we’ll go and visit Okinawa, just like we promised. We’ll see the beaches and we’ll soak up the sun, just the two of us.**

**I promise, Tobio.**

 

      Hinata was instantly able to tell that this was the writing of Kageyama’s mother. She sounded like such a sweet woman. Judging by how crinkled and tatty the letter was, Kageyama had owned it for a long, _long_ time. Hinata let it drop back onto the foot of the bed. Then, Hinata dropped his notebook right next to Kageyama’s sleeping body before slipping back out of the room as if he’d never been in there. Hopefully, Kageyama wouldn’t mind.

      “Ah! Intruder!” Suga pointed a finger at him, startling the small man. “What are you doing?!”

      “Nothing!” Hinata sprinted out of the room before Suga could question him even further, although he could feel himself flushing a bright red. He hadn’t expected anyone to be awake so early. If only he hadn’t dawdled around in Kageyama’s room for so long. But… Hinata was starting to understand just how complex someone like Kageyama was. He wanted to figure out the enigma that was Kageyama Tobio, no matter how long it took.

***

**I never wanted to be part of Wakunan. I met my boyfriend in an alleyway, and he’d killed a man. Since I witnessed the murder, he forced me to join the gang. My grades began to plummet and I was beginning to wonder if I could ever grow to play volleyball professionally. I loved him. I still do, even though he abused me the way he did. I’m so scared of him.**

**How do you deal with fear, Kageyama?**

**-Hinata**

 

      When Kageyama woke up to see that Hinata had dropped the notebook in his bed, the first emotion that went through his mind was shock. _Hinata saw him sleeping naked_. Kageyama was praying that Hinata hadn’t actually seen anything, although Kageyama usually buried himself in blankets. They’d all still been intact when he awoke, so he was hoping that he was safe on that aspect.

      But then, realisation hit Kageyama. If Hinata had been forced to join the gang, then Hinata really wasn’t a criminal. It meant that Hinata _really_ couldn’t defend himself against anyone in here. He was just a normal guy who had been roped into a bad situation.

 

**I wouldn’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever been scared of anything.**

**Have you ever killed a man?**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Kageyama got up and checked the time on his MP3. It was seven thirty-three, just under half an hour until count. He pulled on a pair of boxers, a fresh prison uniform and hurried outside so that he could get in a cigarette or two before count. He decided to walk past the running track today. When he spotted Hinata running however, he paused by the fences and watched him. He had speed, amazing speed. He was running around, again and again. He was like a fresh burst of energy, energy that just wouldn’t slow down. Suga was also there, but compared to Hinata, he was like a snail. There were some other inmates that Kageyama wasn’t really bothered about. His eyes were glued to Hinata. He was like fire in every way possible. Unpredictable, fast and hot-headed.

      Kageyama slipped through a hole in the fence and walked over to the starting point on the track, waiting until Hinata had made his way around. When Hinata looked up and spotted Kageyama, who still had a slight bedhead, he ran even faster to reach the slightly groggy sniper.

      “Morning.” Kageyama handed the notebook over to Hinata. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

      “You should join me for a run,” Hinata said, pocketing the notebook. He hadn’t read Kageyama’s response yet. “It’ll make you feel good. Plus, you can trade the spare cigarettes for those earphones. Higa has some spare. He’s been wanting to try menthol, actually.”

      “Higa?” Kageyama reluctantly stepped onto the track and joined Hinata in his sprinting. “Take it slow, by the way. I’m not a good runner.”

      “Sure. I’ll go at your pace.” Kageyama could tell that Hinata was probably only running at fifteen percent of his full potential. It frustrated him that he was so slow that he couldn’t even begin to compete with the ace’s speed. Hinata had been beaten, bed-bound and unable to walk properly, yet here he was, literally running circles around the rest of the other inmates. Kageyama couldn’t help but admire Hinata for his tenacity.

      “Higa’s in the dorm I’m staying in. I can’t remember his full name, though. It’s way too long,” Hinata muttered.

      “You got assigned to a dorm? Heh…” Kageyama got a dark look on his face. He’d specifically requested that Hinata get assigned to the Karasuno dorm. “Just because I’m pissed at you doesn’t mean that the warden can just defy my orders like that…”

      “It’s fine! I like my dorm!”

      “What dorm are you in?”

      “Johzenji.”

      Kageyama stopped running. Hinata stopped running shortly after, turning to face Kageyama with a confused expression. “You can’t stop running while you’re on the track—”

      “Hinata. Do you know how dangerous those people are?”

      “They’re just like anyone else in here. They made mistakes,” Hinata insisted. He _really_ didn’t want to argue with Kageyama again. Every time they spoke in person, they always ended up arguing about _something_. That was the entire point of the notebook.

      “Yeah, because accidentally raping someone’s a thing.” Kageyama’s eyes were cold. While there were dark shadows under the sniper’s eyes, it didn’t dull the effect of those eyes.

      “Stop being so judgemental, Kageyama.”

      “Then stop being so gullible.”

      “Gullible?!”

      “I’m going to smoke.” Kageyama turned on his heel and left, trying to keep his steps calm. He probably wasn’t aware that he was causing minor earthquakes with every step that he was taking. Meanwhile, Hinata broke into a jog once again, frustrated that he’d managed to make Kageyama angry once again. But Kageyama kept running away from their arguments. He’d just cut himself off from everyone and go off on his own, rather than communicating his point clearly. Maybe that’s why he was so bad at socialising.

      Hinata went off to one side and retrieved the notebook from his pocket, reading through what Kageyama had written. Hinata pulled out his pen and scribbled down his response.

 

**You’re wrong. You’re scared of opening up to people, aren’t you? You’re also scared of emotions. That’s why you run away when we start arguing.**

**And no, I’ve never killed a man. I was forced to witness murders, but I would never do something like that. Remember? I got charged for armed robbery, Kageyama.**

**Did you know that my family name, Hinata, means ‘place in the sun’? My given name, Shouyou, means ‘flying heaven’. Or ‘positive sunshine’, depending on how you choose to look at it. You said that you like family names because they have more meaning than given names. I think both of them can have just as equally important meanings.**

**-Hinata**

 

      He shoved the notebook in his pocket and walked off the running track. He decided that it was worth going to take a shower before count began. While making his way back inside the prison, it occurred to him that he might as well drop the notebook over to Kageyama. So, he slipped over by the sheds and slid the notebook right over to his feet. Kageyama crouched down to pick it up. Hinata sprinted away before Kageyama could have the chance to engage in conversation (although Hinata was pretty sure Kageyama was still pissed at him).

      Kageyama read through Hinata’s words, gritting his teeth together at the words. They were just letters on a page, but Kageyama wanted to snipe them so that they’d disappear. It pissed him _off_. When someone was saying it to him, it was easy to pretend he hadn’t heard it. But reading the words on paper felt entirely different. They were in black and white; they were permanent.

 

**I never knew you were a psychologist, Hinata. And no, I don’t run away. Don’t be stupid. It’s called _stopping before I do something that I don’t want to do_. You know, remember? I’m kind of a murderer? Yeah. You really do piss me off sometimes.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Kageyama had never met someone so _irritating_. Hinata had only had what, four conversations with him? Yet, he was acting like he could read Kageyama just as easily as Suga could. He slapped the notebook to his head, taking in a deep breath as he looked up to the sky. He always reacted violently when he didn’t want to. He always did the wrong thing. It made sense that he wanted to avoid doing the wrong thing, right? But everyone always tells him that he’s wrong. He doesn’t know what the right decision is anymore.

      He wished that he did.


	31. Jack Off Lantern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo might be an asshole, but he won't stand for slander.

      “Kuroo, you look like a jack-o’-lantern.” Tsukishima was back to his usual self, letting his usual phrases slip through with that signature smirk on his face. “Why are you smiling so much?”

      “Because.” Kuroo couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened between the two of them yesterday. He’d thought about it all night while lying awake in his futon. He’d thought about those sounds Tsukishima had made, the things that they’d said to one another. _Tsukishima likes him_. Ever since realising that, Kuroo had been unable to stop smiling.

      “I sense something,” Suga said, scrutinising the two with careful eyes. Although it had taken him a while, Suga was slowly beginning to regain his usual liveliness. His eyes were still dull and his hair was desperately craving a good wash, but he was beginning to smile again. It would never be as radiant as it had been all those months ago, but it was a smile nonetheless.

      “They fucked,” Kenma said, taking a bite out of his tamago gohan. “Kuroo spent the entire night whispering ‘Tsukki’ to himself. He’s gone a whole morning without complaining about how much he wants some dick. That’s a new record.”

      “Kenma!” Kuroo had gone bright red. Usually, Kuroo didn’t get embarrassed when it came to sexual things, so this was new. _Very_ new. Kenma could tell that this meant that his best friend might actually be planning to take things with Tsukishima seriously. “We didn’t fuck!”

      “Well, something happened.”

      “Stop being so forward about it!”

      Tsukishima himself had gone a little quiet. He was sporting a small blush on his cheeks as he thought back to what had happened with Kuroo. Since he still didn’t find himself regretting it a day later, Tsukishima had decided that it meant that he might be feeling something for Kuroo.

      Kageyama sat down at the table, having just arrived. He’d dropped the notebook off at the Johzenji dorm before going to breakfast. While he hadn’t been there for the whole conversation, he had an idea about what they were talking about. “He’s telling the truth. Kuroo was just—”

      “Kageyama, shut up! You need to stop telling the truth!”

      “But Kuroo, lying is bad,” Kenma said.

      “Well, maybe if Kageyama had lied in court, he wouldn’t have gotten such a long court sentence,” Kuroo muttered. “Like, come on. Why would you confess to _every single crime_?”

      “I didn’t confess to all of them, otherwise I’d be behind these bars for life. I just chose some of my favourites,” Kageyama explained. “Like that time I accidentally got a double headshot. Then, some guy crashed his car right after because of the dead bodies that fell in the street. They called it a ‘triple homicide’.”

      “Tsukishima, Kageyama’s here to take your sadist title. What are you going to do about that?” Ennoshita was thirsty for drama, as per usual. The others could’ve sworn that Ennoshita was selling gossip to the Shiratorizawans in exchange for new notebooks and pens. Ennoshita didn’t have anyone on the outside to put money into his commissary, so it was the only way he could be getting new ones on a weekly basis.

      “Sadists enjoy inflicting pain. Snipers kill instantly. I don’t. I let my victims suffer,” Tsukishima explained. “Weren’t you there for the debut of my documentary?” He had a proud grin on his face.

      “You killed like one person a month. You worked slow, Tsukishima. If anything, I deserve the movie,” Kageyama muttered. “Where’s my recognition?”

      “You’ll get it when my time’s up,” Ennoshita said. “You’ll all be on the big screen. I’m telling you. It’s gonna be Hollywood. Flashing lights, Walk of Fame. We’re all going to be there.”

      “Someone wake this boy up,” Kinoshita said, whacking Ennoshita over the head. “Hollywood’s on a whole ass different continent, you know.”

      “Then what’s the Japanese version of Hollywood?” Kuroo pursed his lips in interest. “I’m genuinely curious.”

      “There doesn’t need to be one! Hollywood is Hollywood!” Ennoshita was looking pretty pissed off for once. Everyone was taking a mental screenshot of the look on his face.

      “Alright, Mr Hollywood.” Tsukishima’s smirk appeared once again.

      “Alright, Mr Moans-Like-A-Banshee. Yeah, Kageyama told me.” Tsukishima flushed a bright red once again, unable to argue the point. He was definitely going to kill Kageyama later, he knew it. It would be a miracle if Tsukishima managed to make it through forty-three whole years without gutting Kageyama.

      “Well, I wouldn’t say banshee,” Kageyama said. “More like a… bird, maybe? You know, the way they let out those little chirps…”

      “Hey, stop it. You’re embarrassing him.” Kuroo’s tone was unusually serious. “Kageyama, you really have no right to go telling people things like that.”

      Silence hit the table.

      Yaku’s eyes widened. “Did Kuroo just… _defend_ someone?”

      “Yes, he did,” Kenma responded.

      “He’s got it _bad_ ,” Yaku sang. “Ooo, he does, he does, he do-o!”

      Kuroo sighed, but he didn’t say anything else. He didn’t need to. The look Tsukishima was giving him was making him feel happy all over again. His heart felt like it would take off and crash right up to the ceiling if he wasn’t careful. Although, Kuroo wasn’t sure what it meant to be careful anymore.

      It was then that Hinata walked over to their table, holding a notebook in his hands. Everyone turned to face him. He received many hostile glares, especially from Kindaichi and Kunimi. He didn’t care. He was only there for one reason.

      “Here.” He handed Kageyama the notebook before hurrying back over to the Johzenji table, where he’d managed to make himself feel at home. Kageyama narrowed his eyes at Hinata when he noticed that he was sitting with the Johzenji. He flicked the notebook open, shocked when he saw just how much Hinata had written in response to his angry response.

* * *

**No, it’s called being a coward. That I’m sure of. And listen, you might be mad just because I’m not doing what you’re telling me to, but your entire lunch table hates me. All of Karasuno hates me. Some of Nekoma like me, but it’s not enough. They all judge me because of my past. Johzenji don’t care about that. They accepted me under their wing, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. That’s the difference between them and you. You offered me your protection, but you didn’t offer me your respect. You just expected me to do everything you asked without batting an eye.**

**So, if you still want to get pissy over me rooming with a gang that isn’t Karasuno, remember that. Karasuno are the same ones who constantly herald themselves as the top of the top, the best of the best. They’re the ones who constantly remind all of us lesser members that we’re not shit. Not only are we prisoners, but we’re not shit. We’re not good enough to be classified as that. They think of us as lower.**

**You have the privilege to run away. You have the privilege to smoke cigarettes behind the shed; the privilege to lock yourself up in your own little room. I don’t. I’m not like you, Kageyama. I can’t just turn away when something bothers me. I fucking have to go through it and I have to bear with it, even when every bone in my body feels like it’s breaking under the pressure. That’s what you fucking do, alright?**

**THAT’S WHY YOU’RE A COWARD.**

**I’d say that you piss me off, but you don’t. You just frustrate me.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

      Kuroo took the notebook out of Kageyama’s hands. “Hmm, what’s this? Note Notebook?”

      “Give it back.” Kageyama reached for it, but Kuroo was holding it way out of Kageyama’s reach. Kuroo was just that little bit taller. _No. Those are Hinata’s innermost thoughts. He can’t let Kuroo read them out to everyone_.

      Kuroo slid it over to Ennoshita, who scanned the contents of the page. He was highly proficient in speed-reading. “Hey. Was Hinata a poet in his past life? This is really descriptive.”

      Kageyama’s hand slammed down on Ennoshita’s, causing the man to draw back his hand while rubbing it. However, Kageyama was nowhere near as strong as he had once been. Before, he would’ve been able to break someone’s hand with a slam of that power. Now, all it did was make someone’s hand ache slightly.

      Kageyama took the notebook back and stood up, glaring down at the whole table. “You guys can mess around all you want, but not with this. Don’t touch this.”

      “Do you see now, Kageyama? It sucks when people find out about something so personal, right?” Kuroo had been smiling, but now he looked a lot more sinister. “So, next time, try not to embarrass Tsukishima the way you did today.”

      Kuroo’s relationship with Kageyama had always been quite rocky. While Kuroo didn’t like Kageyama that much, he was able to tolerate him. However, Kuroo really didn’t like the way Kageyama was towards Tsukishima. Tsukishima had really been upset after being let down by Kageyama just like _that_. Thing is that Kageyama probably didn’t even _realise_ that he’d upset Tsukishima.

      “Alright, inmates! Breakfast’s over!” Everyone else stood up and began to hustle and bustle their way out of the cafeteria, deep in conversation. There were conversations about the best fast food joints on the outside. The competition seemed to be between Wendy’s and McDonalds, although Five Guys had come out in the top five as a dark horse. Then, there were conversations about the best flavours of Tango. Conversations about the hottest porn stars. And then there was Kageyama, who was stood watching all of these conversations pass him by. Then watching his own conversation with Hinata on paper, the progression of anger and hostility in the words that had come from the pen that was snug in his waistband. For a moment, he had to stand there and wonder why he couldn’t have carefree conversations like these people could. They were all part of the Mukankei dorms, the ones which received the worst treatment. Some didn’t even get futons to sleep on. Yet, they were smiling and laughing every single day without fail. _What’s Kageyama doing wrong?_ Suga still hadn’t spoken to him ever since their fight. **You have the privilege to run away.** Kuroo always gave off a vibe like he couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Kageyama. **You offered me your protection, but you didn’t offer me your respect.** And Hinata…

      **You’re a coward.**

      Kageyama slams the pages shut and almost wants to fling the notebook into the nearest bin he can see, but he doesn’t. He clamps both sides of the notebook tightly, almost as if it could burst open any second and expose all of the things that Kageyama has spent his entire career (if you can call it that) trying to avoid. But the words are all in his head; Hinata’s voice is in his head, screaming these words at him. **Coward. Coward. Coward.**

      “Inmate.” He opens his eyes, seeing that C.O. Ushijima is standing there, watching him with that same impassive look of his. “Please vacate the cafeteria.” Kageyama nods this time and moves his feet, although he’s barely aware of it. He feels like he’ll faint any second, and he almost does, but then Kindaichi and Kunimi leave the kitchen and rush towards their boss, both of them going to support him from either side.

      “Kageyama! Are you okay?”

      He nods, rights himself quickly and looks around himself. “Yes. I just need to go back to the dorm right now.”

      “We’ll escort you,” the two bodyguards say in sync. And they do. They walk into the flow of inmates, all headed in different directions and walking along different paths and corridors. Amongst these inmates is Tsukishima, who’s rushing towards Kuroo. The latter is storming off towards the Nekoma dorm and Tsukishima’s trying to catch up, but all these inmates keep getting in his way and cutting him off from Kuroo. They’re too busy lagging their way through the corridors, stopping to fix their bulky boots or to fluff up their hairstyles. With no other choice, Tsukishima stood there, both feet firmly planted in the ground as he put both hands to his lips.

      “Kuroo!”

      At the sound of Tsukishima’s voice, the man turned around, raising an eyebrow as he said “Mmm?” As if it were magic, the inmates began to clear away, creating a path for the two to step towards one another. And Kuroo suddenly appeared more relaxed, nothing like the irritated Kuroo that Tsukishima had seen just moments earlier.

      “I… I’ve never been defended like that before. Thank you.”

      At first, Kuroo was slightly taken aback by how sincere Tsukishima sounded, so much that he almost forgot to respond. But then he went forwards and slipped his hand onto Tsukishima’s waist, keeping a careful eye on the blonde’s reaction.

      “I’m serious about you,” he murmurs at last, noting how Tsukishima’s eyes widen at the words. “I want to make it work.” And that’s all he needs to say. For Tsukishima relaxes in Kuroo’s touch, a soft smile appearing on his face as he looks up at Kuroo.

      “I believe you.” The two of them began to walk down to the Nekoma dorm, ignoring everything around them. Kuroo was focused on the way his arm wrapped around Tsukishima so easily, the way his heart leaped for joy in his ribcage as he felt Tsukishima’s soft hand moving to reach for his own, the way Tsukishima went from looking straight ahead to glancing over at him with that serious, focused expression of his. It’s taking Kuroo everything he has not to kiss him in that corridor, everything he has to not push him against that brick wall he can see to his left, everything he has not to ravage this blonde with everything he’s got.

      Once they were in the Nekoma dorm room, they sat down on Kuroo’s futon and leaned their backs against the wall. Tsukishima found himself leaning his head against Kuroo’s shoulder, an action which Kuroo definitely didn’t mind. “I just had a thought,” Tsukishima admitted. “I never actually did anything to you yesterday…”

      “It’s fine. You don’t need to, not yet.” Kuroo wrapped a lazy arm around Tsukishima’s shoulder, keeping the blonde close by his side. “You let everyone think you’re a sadist, but you’re honestly such a cutie.”

      “Now, I can’t tolerate you calling me a cutie. Don’t make me go Jigsaw on you.”

      “I’ll let you go Jigsaw if you use rope.”

      Tsukishima burst into laughter. “You really don’t want to know how I enjoy using rope, Kuroo. I can’t use it for your kinky fantasies.”

      “Oh, I know. You tie nooses and shit. All you have to do is tie mini-nooses for my wrists and ankles. Duh.” Tsukishima shifted his head off Kuroo’s shoulder, looking up into his hazel eyes. The next few moments consist of Tsukishima simply staring into Kuroo’s eyes, causing the latter to blush. And when Kuroo goes to kiss Tsukishima, the blonde falters, leaning away slightly. Kuroo pulls back, looking at Tsukishima in confusion. Before Kuroo can say anything, Tsukishima averts his gaze from Kuroo’s eyes at last and speaks.

      “I’m sorry, Kuroo.”

      “Why?” Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Please don’t say that you just want to be friends…”

      “No, it’s not that. Not exactly. It’s just… you don’t feel like a rebound, do you?”

      Kuroo hesitated, not sure if he liked the direction in which this conversation was going. “Well… when you first proposed that we become friends, I wasn’t sure how to feel. But, no. I don’t.”

      “I wasn’t sure how to feel about this at first. Part of me still likes Kageyama,” Tsukishima quietly admitted. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re second best. I like you, but it’s not fair if I’ve got another man on my mind.”

      Kuroo was quickly being reminded of yet another reason as to why he hated Kageyama so much. There were some days where Kuroo just couldn’t stand to be around the sniper. Today had been one of those days. While most people seemed to have respect for him, Kuroo just… _couldn’t_. Tsukishima had had his eye on Kageyama for years, but the sniper had been too busy in his own little bubble to notice what was actually happening around him.

      “Kageyama’s not capable of love. No gay man could resist you, I tell you that.” Kuroo laced his fingers into Tsukishima’s.

      “What are you thinking, Kuroo?”

      “I’m thinking about all the ways I could make you forget Kageyama.”

      “What are they?”

      “They all involve me making love to you.”

      “Fucking? Really?” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Kuroo.

      “No, not fucking. Making love. You know, vanilla. No ropes, no anything. Just… love.” Kuroo felt awkward as the words left his lips. “Not today, though. I shouldn’t.” Kuroo could tell. Tsukishima was still holding out for Kageyama, still watching him. Kageyama couldn’t see just how much he was hurting Tsukishima. And Tsukishima couldn’t see just how much Kageyama didn’t care.

      “Well… I’m kind of new to this whole thing. I’ve never had time for this,” Tsukishima said. “It’s hard to find time to find someone to pound my holes when you’re trying to evade the police and help out with team heists and whatnot…”

      “Pound your holes?” Kuroo burst into laughter. However, when he noticed how Tsukishima’s blush had grown in intensity, he tried to stop the laughter from gushing out. “I’m sorry.”

      “No, no. It sounds ridiculous, now that I think of it.” Tsukishima’s smile didn’t wane. “I know it might take a long time, but please wait for me to love you.”

      “I’m under this roof for forty long years. That should be enough time, right?” Kuroo was longing to kiss the blonde. He wanted Tsukishima to look at him like that forever; he really did. But the second Kageyama walked in, he would be the one getting that look from Tsukishima. Kuroo just wanted Kageyama to disappear. He wanted to de-throne the king from his palace.

      “I wish I didn’t want him,” Tsukishima mumbled, burying his head into Kuroo’s shoulder once again. “I hated him, but then I didn’t and now I’m here…”

      “I’ll wait. It’s fine.” Kuroo ruffled Tsukishima’s hair. “Even if it means I go without sex for a couple of years.” The thought of _no sex_ made Kuroo’s cock feel like it would shrivel up any moment, but when he reminded himself of the pure bliss he’d felt yesterday, the urge disappeared. _He can wait_.

      “I’m sorry.”

      “Don’t apologise. We’ll make it work, Tsukki.” Kuroo’s lips touched upon Tsukishima’s, just as sweet as it had been the first time. Tsukishima could feel that familiar sensation in his heart, that light; fleeting sensation. He liked it. He liked Kuroo.

      If only his heart would forget about Kageyama so that he could start to love Kuroo properly. He’d be the first man that had ever loved Tsukishima.


	32. Yakisoba Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An especially long chapter in which Kageyama and Hinata try not to argue

      Hinata was a little late in getting to Kageyama’s room. The dark-haired sniper was sitting on the foot of his bed, devouring a pot of Gun Gun yoghurt when Hinata finally entered. The lights were off in there as per usual, so Hinata switched them on. Kageyama seemed visibly pained by the lights for a few moments, although after a bit of blinking, he seemed normal once again. Before Hinata could ask if he should turn the lights back off, Kageyama began to speak.

      “I wasn’t sure if you were still coming,” he admitted, putting his empty pot of yoghurt down and handing the notebook over to Hinata. “I haven’t got any ramen. I have yakisoba bread, though.”

      “No, it’s okay.” Hinata shook his head at the sniper and took the notebook out of Kageyama’s hands. “Yakisoba’s worth a lot in this place.”

      “I insist. Eat something,” Kageyama said. “You were doing a lot of running. You need to keep your energy up.”

      Hinata didn’t respond. He opened up the notebook and read through Kageyama’s response.

 

**I never knew you felt that way. I’ve always been told that I’m not the best at understanding people’s feelings. I can read them, but I can’t understand them. You’re right, Hinata. I am a coward. I’m one of the biggest cowards you’ll meet. I hide behind my reputation because I’m scared to let anyone get close.**

**But, Hinata. Don’t think that I’m too scared to face reality. I’ve been facing reality my whole life. Why else do you think that I want to hide? There’s only so much a man can take before he starts to break. It’s my way of remaining somewhat sane. It doesn’t really seem to be helping, though. All I can think about is how much I’d like to die. I want to be with my mother. I’ve always thought that I was making her proud every time I shot someone dead, but I was probably doing the opposite. I’m really fucking crazy, aren’t I? Someone like you should stay away from me. I’m nothing but bad news. Unless you want to end up with more than fifteen years, you should walk away from me. Just… give me this notebook and leave.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**I don’t have much to live for either, if I’m honest. The only thing I cared for was volleyball and I’ve lost that. I haven’t touched a volleyball in months. It hurts.**

**And you still don’t seem to get it. You need to stop telling me what to do, Kageyama. I’m a grown man. It’s my choice whether I stay by you or not, alright?**

**And to answer your question, yes. You might be crazy. But that’s okay, because you never claimed to be sane.**

**-Hinata**

 

      Hinata passed the notebook over to Kageyama and traipsed over to his small table, where there was some warm yakisoba bread. Hinata ripped it in half and handed it to Kageyama, who shook his head. He was writing.

      “You can stop for a minute, you know.” Hinata placed one half into Kageyama’s free hand. “Eat something. Please. I noticed that you haven’t been eating in the cafeteria.”

      “So, you’re a voyeur now. Interesting.” A smirk appeared on Kageyama’s lips.

      “No! I just… I just… you have a big presence.”

      “They say it’s all the cigarettes. I have an invisible smoke cloud following me wherever I go.”

      “See, you say that you’re bad at human interaction but you’re really good at sarcastic jokes,” Hinata said, nudging the sniper as he sat down at the foot of his bed. “You’re capable of it. You just don’t try.”

      “I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I don’t like being analysed.”

      “I also made it clear that I don’t like being bossed around.” Hinata took a bite out of his yakisoba bread. He wasn’t really tasting it, though. He was more focused on trying to figure out just who Kageyama really was. “I took a bite. Your turn.”

      “I’m not hungry.”

      “Fine.” Hinata took the bread out of Kageyama’s hand. “Respond to me. I won’t respond back until you take a bite out of this.” Kageyama clicked his tongue, but he began to write down a response nevertheless.

 

**First of all, aren’t you engaged? I seem to remember you throwing around that term during one of our arguments. Either way, that’s something to live for. A marriage. My parents were never married. They’d briefly fallen in love, but they’d soon moved on from one another. But then I was born. My mother loved me, but she couldn’t raise me on her own. My father was pursuing a career in volleyball, but he had to stop so that he could help my mother in raising me. I loved her more than anything. But my father… he and I were never close.**

**And yes, I’m sorry. My assertiveness is a recent personality trait of mine. It’s hard to control it. You can scold me in this notebook every time I cross the line, alright? I don’t want to argue anymore. Although, it seems inevitable when our words cross that invisible line from paper to lips.**

**By the way. Stop asking me to eat. I’m not hungry.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Kageyama handed the notebook to Hinata, but the ace shook his head. “Take a bite and then I’ll read it. That’s the deal.”

      “That wasn’t the deal! You said you’d _respond_ if I took a bite.”

      “I changed my mind. Come on, Kageyama. You’ve lost a lot of weight,” Hinata scolded. “I heard Takeda-sensei telling you off for it.”

      “It’s the Prozac.”

      “No, it’s the refusing-to-eat thing you’ve got going on.”

      Kageyama sighed. “Fine. But I’ll just throw it all back up later.” He took a bite out of the yakisoba, shuddering at the way it felt in his mouth. He hated it. _Hated_ it. He didn’t care if it was seasoned with the utmost care, he didn’t care if the bread was feather-soft. He wanted to spit it out. _Damn you, Hinata_.

      Hinata stayed true to his promise. Once he saw that Kageyama had swallowed the food, he took the notebook out of Kageyama’s hand and read through his response. After a few minutes, he began to pen a response.

 

**I’m engaged, but I don’t love her. Not the way I used to, anyway. We’re living in two different worlds. My love for her passed long ago.**

**And was your father ever famous for volleyball? Was his name Kageyama too, or was that your mother’s name?**

**Also, maybe we should just forget about speaking to each other in person. All we ever do is argue. It makes me sad. It also makes me sad to see that you’re starving yourself like this, Kageyama. Eating yoghurt doesn’t count. You’re still starving yourself. I know there’s not much that I can say, since your eyes died a long time ago. But if it helps, I’ll try and give you something to live for. That’s something we have in common. We both need a reason to live. All the Johzenji are living because they see enjoyment in everything, no matter what. If something gets boring, they’ll scream and shout until it gets fun. Their energy’s infected me a little. I feel a bit happier nowadays, although not much. They’re not bad, Kageyama. I promise. Johzenji are looking after me well.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**My father’s name was Kageyama. My mother’s was Chigusa. My father died before he could ever become famous.**

**I’m sorry that I’m making you sad. But, I’m not much good at making people smile. If you’re looking for smiles, you’ve come to the wrong person. I’m glad you’ve found a gang that you can fit in with. I’m sorry that you couldn’t fit into mine.**

**Did anyone from Karasuno ever wrong you, Hinata?**

**-Kageyama**

 

      “Another bite,” Hinata reminded Kageyama, holding the bread out to him once again. Hinata had already finished his yakisoba bread. Kageyama grumbled under his breath, but he reluctantly shoved the bread into his mouth. He wanted to throw it up, he wanted to throw it up _now_. He would. The second he was done with this notebook writing, he would go and throw up every last bit of it.

      “That doesn’t count. You only nibbled a little bit of the yakisoba,” Hinata said. “It has to be a proper bite.”

      “I can’t.” Kageyama threw the bread right up against the wall and stood up, making a beeline towards the door. “I’m sorry. I can’t.” He disappeared through the door just seconds later, letting the door slam shut behind him. Hinata knew where he was headed. Straight to the toilets to throw every last bit of it up. He hadn’t even eaten that much of it. It had been what, about the same width as a medium-sized button?

 

**Chigusa is such a pretty name. Chigusa Tobio… although, I’m a lot more used to calling you Kageyama. Question. Have you ever allowed anyone to call you Tobio?**

**To answer your question, yes. You’re not allowed to get angry at them though. I don’t want to be in trouble with anyone. Your bodyguards… the one with turnip hair and the other one who looks like a younger version of you. They just said some things and let some doors hit me. But it’s okay. I don’t come near you that much anymore, so they don’t say anything to me.**

**-Hinata**

 

      He sat there for a few moments, wondering if Kageyama would return. Hinata was beginning to feel a bit guilty. Kageyama had looked almost _scared_ when Hinata had held the yakisoba up to him, yet Hinata had still coerced him into eating it. Maybe Hinata should’ve gone about the situation more delicately.

      It was ten minutes when Kageyama walked back into the room as if nothing had happened. He quietly sat back down next to Hinata, took the notebook and read through what Hinata had written. Then, he grabbed the nearest pen and spent a few moments carefully thinking about his response before actually writing it down.

 

**Yes. I’ve never liked being called Kageyama, but the family name stuck. If I could go back in time, I’d take my mother’s family name. And to answer your question, yes, two people. Suga and Daichi call me Tobio. I met them during my childhood. They called me that the second they met me. There wasn’t that distance with the whole ‘Kageyama’ thing. Maybe that’s why we were all so close.**

**I see.  I wish you’d told me about how my bodyguards had treated you.**

**-Kageyama**

**P.S. You mentioned something about us needing a ‘purpose to live’. What is that purpose?**

 

      The second Kageyama had read about how his bodyguards had treated Hinata, he’d been so tempted to get up and tell them just how he felt about it. But then, he thought back to the first page of the notebook. _We’re not allowed to talk about anything here in real life_. He’d promised to keep the rules, just like Hinata. So, he couldn’t. Although, he wasn’t going to let his bodyguards get away with it.

 

**You mentioned something about us making a perfect pair when we first met. Since we can’t seem to stay away from each other, let’s make a deal. I’ll stay alive if you stay alive. If you die, I’ll be angry. (Yes, it’s possible to be angry at a dead person. One of my favourite manga characters died to protect someone and I was really, really angry at her.)**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**I didn’t pin you down as a manga reader. Or a reader of ANYTHING, really. So, you’re saying that you’re my purpose to live? That sounds oddly romantic, Hinata.**

**-Kageyama**

**P.S. You got angry at me for not putting a question a few pages back, but where’s yours? Huh? I don’t see it. O_O**

 

      Hinata couldn’t help but laugh when he saw that Kageyama had drawn his own little emoticon. Kageyama was blushing slightly, but much to his relief, Hinata hadn’t noticed. He was too busy staring down at the note Kageyama had written.

 

**And I didn’t pin you down as an emoticon guy. The way you’re wording it makes it romantic. You’re just weird. What’s so weird about me wanting you to be my purpose to live? If we just stick by each other, then maybe we’ll discover new purposes as we go along.**

**QUESTION: Why are you so strange, Kageyama?**

**-Hinata**

**P.S. Your eyes look like eggs. But without the yolk. Mmm… eggs… Thanks a lot, baka. You made me hungry.**

* * *

  **You better not be talking about my real eyes. For the record, my mother said that I have beautiful eyes.**

**Also, as for my question, I’m not strange. You just don’t know what normal is. But then again, who does?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**RHETORICAL QUESTIONS DON’T COUNT, BAKAGEYAMA!!! Jeez. Your mother might have been right. Right now, your eyes are a bit lacklustre. Smile a bit, why don’t you? I’d like to see you smile. Or just do _something_ that isn’t glaring. You’re glaring at me while I’m writing this. You’re scaring me.**

**QUESTION: How old were you when you had your first kiss? (This came into mind because you started rubbing your lips for some strange reason. By the way, do you want some lip balm? I have some spare. I think you might need it.)**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**First of all, fuck you. My eyes are fine. Second of all, fuck you. My lips are fine. And third of all, I’ve never kissed anyone. (If you make fun of me, I’m leaving. Even if this is my room.)**

**What about you?**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**First of all, no thanks. My butthole is fine. Second of all, no thanks. My butthole is dandy. And third of all, my first kiss was with a Mikasa volleyball in junior high. Ah, memories~**

**Question: What do you say we try talking properly now? This conversation seems to be going pretty fine… I guess we should work on actually talking. The pages in this thing are running out and there’s no more notebooks left in commissary. Some director guy bought them all.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**THAT DOESN’T COUNT, IDIOT. Who was the first _human_ you kissed? Also, I don’t know if I want to risk it. I really can’t handle another argument right now.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**Fine. First person I kissed was my guy friend, Izumi. We were playing truth or dare and we were dared to kiss. We were like six when it happened though, so… yeah.**

**I think we should try putting this down and just… see what happens. I guess?**

**-HEEnnaaaHHHttaAAhhh**

 

      “Did your pen have a spasm while writing your name?” Kageyama’s smirk was just as teasing as usual. “I hear volleyball can fuck up your fingers, but damn.”

      “Nope. I just thought it sounded cool.”

      “Alright.” Kageyama set the notebook down and looked at Hinata, who was blinking right back at him. “Well…”

      Hinata began to speak. “Well…”

      Then Kageyama. “Well…”

      Hinata once again. “Um…”

      And then Kageyama. “Ah…”

      The various noises went on for a while until Kageyama finally thought on something to say that would be _sure_ not to trigger an argument between the two of them.

      “You have nice eyes.”

      Hinata flushed bright red at the sudden compliment. “Where did that come from?”

      “I just noticed.”

      “Well… thanks.” An embarrassed smile appeared on Hinata’s face. “You have a nice butt.”

      “Man. You really are a voyeur. You’ve caught the Johzenji influence,” Kageyama teased. For once, he wasn’t speaking about the Johzenji with that judgemental tone. He said it like it was just another word in the wide vocabulary he possessed.

      “What? I just… I just noticed!”

      “Yeah.” Kageyama laughed while lying down on his bed, stretching out his arms. “When you’re a sniper, you have to be able to hold positions for _hours_. Just to get one shot. It’s hard. I used to be pretty strong.” He held his arms out in front of him. They’d once been quite muscular, but now they were just… weak.

      “When you’re playing volleyball, you have to run about the court, dive and jump about, all so you can score one point. And then you repeat that again and again for five sets,” Hinata murmured, also lying down. “It’s hard, but I love it. It’s so fun.”

      “Say. You know Nishinoya, don’t you?”

      Hinata nodded. He knew Nishinoya, although he wished that he didn’t. Nishinoya was the guy he’d accidentally seen naked on his first day. He’d been _mortified_ when he later discovered that Nishinoya was the one who was serving his food. Although, Nishinoya didn’t seem to remember the incident.

      “On October 10th every year, his birthday, he tries to escape from the prison. This year, there’s a lot of people planning to mass-escape. The Johzenji are doing it, too.” Kageyama chuckled to himself. “You can try it if you don’t mind an additional three years on your sentence. I hear they’re raising it up to five, though.”

      “Nah. I’ll do my time,” Hinata said. “I’ll keep on playing volleyball when I get out. Will you keep on sniping?”

      “I wish I could. But by the time I’m out, arthritis will’ve kicked in. Forty-three years does not a man well.” Kageyama sat up, so Hinata followed suit.

      “Oh. I was meaning to ask you something else. Why did you get so angry when I tried to hug you yesterday?”

      “We don’t know each other well enough. It makes me uncomfortable.” Kageyama shuddered. “Usually, if someone’s putting their hands on me, it’s to hurt me. So I react in kind.”

      “Oh. What if I warn you beforehand?”

      “I don’t know…”

      “Hugs aren’t as bad as you think. Let me show you,” Hinata insisted.

      “I’d rather die.” Hinata was shocked by just how serious Kageyama sounded. He couldn’t believe that he’d just met someone who _didn’t like hugging_. Hinata had been raised on daily hugs, whereas Kageyama wanted nothing to do with them.

      “You’re not allowed to.” Hinata picked up the notebook and began to scribble down something. “I can feel you reading over my shoulder. _Not_ allowed,” Hinata scolded. Kageyama glared down at the notebook but nodded.

 

**Come run with me tomorrow. I’ll be up at six.**

**QUESTION: Will you run with me?**

**-Hinata**

 

      Kageyama opened his lips to respond, but Hinata shook his head.

      “If it’s in the book, you respond in the book.”

      “Fine.” Kageyama took the pen out of Hinata’s hand and settled it inbetween his fingers before penning out a response.

 

**You could’ve just asked me that right now, idiot. And I don’t like running. I get tired quickly and it makes me sweaty. There’s a reason I used to get picked last in school when it came to sports, you know. My answer’s no.**

**QUESTION: Do you mind if I buy the next notebook? I don’t want you to spend more money than you need trying to find one.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

  **You get tired quickly because YOU AREN’T EATING. Listen, Kageyama. We’ll go at your pace. We can even just _walk_ if you want. But, exercise will make you feel a lot better than you think. I promise. Please, will you reconsider? (Dang, I just said please.)**

**By the way, if you glared at everyone in school like that, it’s no wonder they didn’t pick you. I’ve noticed that you’d be really good at volleyball. You’d make a great setter. You’re tall, you have slender fingers and you overthink everything. Perfect!!!**

**To answer your question, no. I don’t mind. But you seem to be forgetting that I was famous, Kageyama. I have more than enough money to spare.**

**-Hinata**

 

      Kageyama got up, went towards his mini fridge and pulled out two tubs of yoghurt. He then sat down on his bed and started to eat both at once, looking up at Hinata every now and again. Once he’d finished both tubs, he tossed them into the nearby bin and picked up the notebook before writing in it once again.

 

**If I’m not eating, then what do you call that? (Me: 1 You: 0)**

**And most of the time, I’m not really aware that I’m ‘glaring’. Everyone's just sensitive.**

**And what is it with you and checking me out, Hinata? I might start thinking that you have a thing for me, you know. Although I wouldn’t really understand why.**

**You don’t need to show off, Mr I-Was-Famous. I’m just saying, Taketora knows people who can get their hands on some really nice-looking notebooks. The ones in commissary look like they were made out of cardboard and red paint. I suggested that since I know Taketora most likely wouldn’t do business with you (he’s very selective about who he gets contraband for) so I thought it would be better if I did. That’s all. I don’t want you to be in trouble.**

**To answer your question, no. Suga asked me to run with him a few days ago, but we had an argument. I’d rather not run into him, and I mean that literally.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**BAKAGEYAMA I TOLD YOU! YOGHURT! DOESN’T! COUNT!!!**

**Fine, maybe I am checking you out. Also, please elaborate. What do you mean you ‘wouldn’t understand why’? You’re not ugly, you know. You’re intelligent. A little awkward, but I don’t mind.**

**How long do you think it’ll be before everyone stops hating me? I got pushed over in the showers today by that turnip haired guy. He took my towel as well. I had to rip down one of the shower curtains and walk back to my bunk in that.**

**And Kageyama, I don’t think you realise. That’s you being a coward again. Don’t avoid Suga just because you had an argument <_< Chances are, he’s probably waiting for you to buck up and just talk to him already.**

**-Hinata**

 

      Kageyama’s cheeks flushed a bright red once he read what Hinata had written. He couldn’t even steady the pen in his hands long enough to pen down an adequate response. He looked up over at Hinata, who was staring back at him with an innocent look on his face.

      “You said that if we want to talk about something written here in real life, we both have to agree to it,” Kageyama began to say. “Can we talk about this note you just wrote?”

      “Which part?”

      “The first part. I’d feel embarrassed writing down an explanation.”

      “Well.” It was Hinata’s turn to blush. “I… I guess.”

      “I’m not a nice person, Hinata. That’s why. Plus, I see how I look in the mirror most days. It’s… I feel depressed just looking at myself. I get the feeling most people feel the same.” Everyone was always barking down Kageyama’s ear about how he’s losing weight, how he should eat _something_ or about how he looks like a skeleton. _He knows_. He sees himself every morning when he wakes up, every night before he goes to sleep. He sees himself, and he _hates_ himself.

      “I meant what I said. You’re not ugly.” Hinata put a tentative hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. He didn’t make any move to stop the ace. “Your eyes are a nice colour. They probably shone with life at one point, didn’t they? Tell me, Kageyama. What made you happy on the outside?”

      “Guns. Rifles. Anything electronic. It all fascinated me, seeing how it worked. I liked to develop my own things, make them myself. But the police seized every last thing when I finally got arrested. It’s either all lying in some room somewhere or in an incinerator. Either way, I’ll never get to see the things I spent years creating.”

      “I knew there was a reason you seemed a bit dorky to me. Electronics. That’s pretty cool, actually. Can you tell me about something you made?”

      “Yeah. I can.” For the first time since Hinata had ever met Kageyama, the dark-haired sniper sounded somewhat _excited_. “My first ever pistol. It was a mess. It couldn’t hold bullets properly, it got jammed up most days… but it was the first thing I’d ever made. I was proud of it. I think that’s one of the few pistols the police didn’t seize. It’s lying in some forest somewhere, probably. Maybe if I get out one day and they haven’t cut down all the forests, I’ll go and find it.”

      There was a glimmer of joy in Kageyama’s eyes. _Woah_. Hinata was shocked by how different the sniper seemed now. Now that he was thinking about something which he loved, his face had completely changed. He didn’t look so drained now; his cheeks didn’t look so sunken and his lips didn’t look so _sad_. But, it was already beginning to fade away as the memory disappeared from Kageyama’s mind.

      “I hope you do.” Hinata took his hand off Kageyama’s shoulder and smiled. “Is that all you wanted to ask about?”

      “Yeah. I’ll respond now.”

 

**There’s a rule that says that we’re not allowed to SAY anything about what happens in this notebook. But it doesn’t say that I can’t ACT on anything. Remember that, Hinata. I’m not letting Yuutatou and Akira get a pass on what they did. Not just to you, but to the rest of the inmates. I'm aware that they've abused their privileges in ways that I don't approve of.**

**And are you just going to throw around the term ‘coward’ every time I do something you don’t approve of? You’re starting to remind me of my father. That’s not a good thing.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**No, it’s fine. If I just wait, he’ll leave me alone. Don’t do anything.**

**Well, you sometimes remind me of my ex as well. That’s not a good thing either.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**You didn’t answer my question~**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

**No. I’m not ‘throwing’ it around, Kageyama. It’s something you need to hear. You’re allowed to get angry, as long as you own up to it afterwards. Don’t pretend that nothing happened. Nonchalance isn’t going to save you forever.** **By the way… I need to tell you something. You can’t trust your bodyguards.** **Higa and Futamata were talking about how they made tons of money off them after getting them to do something during your first few weeks here. I didn’t catch what it was, but Higa and Futamata would be willing to tell you in exchange for some jam donuts. Unless you already know what happened?**

**-Hinata**

 

      “We’re out of pages,” Kageyama said. “Fuck. This thing barely has any pages in it. Although, your handwriting’s way too big. I’ll go to Taketora at dinner and see if he can get me a notebook for Sunday, maybe. We’ll have to spend Saturday talking face-to-face.”

      “Okay. Sure.” Hinata nodded. “Can we talk about something in here?”

      “What is it?”

      “Your bodyguards.”

      Kageyama’s jaw tightened. “I’m not letting them get away with it, Hinata. Don’t try and convince me otherwise.”

      “It’s that behaviour which reminds me of my ex.”

      “Well, Hinata. I’m not your ex. So, if you could _please_ stop talking about exes and fiancées and whatever, I’d love that.” Kageyama could already tell they wouldn’t be able to make it through Saturday without arguing. That was a full twenty-four hours. They couldn’t go twenty-four minutes without getting mad at one another.

      “Alright. Sure.” Hinata sighed. “But please, just don’t… _kill_  them.”

      “Yes, because I’m really going to kill every single person that crosses my path.”

      “Is that sarcasm?”

      “No, I’m being completely serious.”

      “I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic, Kageyama. Your face isn’t changing.”

      “Yes, Mr Oblivious. I am being sarcastic.”

      “Hey! Who are you calling oblivious?!”

      “You.”

      “Well… fuck you.”


	33. When Darkness Meets Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama's a scary ass motherfucker ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )  
> 

      When Hinata finally left Kageyama’s room, it was with a dark glare on his face. They’d spent so long bickering that they just couldn’t bear to be around one another anymore. However, Hinata saw that the rest of the Karasuno members were in there. There were a couple of people from Nekoma as well. They were all sharing chocolate and whatnot with each other, although they seemed to be running low on the sugary treats.

      “So, what business does the Johzenji bonus have with our boss?” Kindaichi was standing there, a lot closer to Hinata than was necessary. “Huh?”

      “Kindaichi, leave him alone,” Kuroo drawled. “You’re a bodyguard, not a bully.” At this point, Kuroo might as well have been part of Karasuno. He spent more time in Tsukishima’s square than he did in his own.

      Kageyama’s room door swung open. Instantly, Kindaichi took a step back from Hinata and looked up at Kageyama, who was standing there.

      “Good afternoon, Kageyama.”

      “Don’t good afternoon me.” Hinata turned around to face Kageyama, who looked _nothing_ like the pissed-off version Hinata had seen just minutes ago. He looked strangely calm, so calm it was even _more_ terrifying than the usual glare he donned. “Hinata, go to your dorm. I’ll speak to you later.”

      Hinata gulped. “Yeah.” He knew that it was a bad idea to try and talk Kageyama out of it while he was in a mood like that. He’d learnt a lot from his years with Takeru.

      Once Kageyama was sure that Hinata had gone, Kageyama stepped right up to Kindaichi and clamped a hand on the turnip-headed male’s shoulder.

      “What makes you think that it’s okay to terrorise the people in this prison, Yuutarou? You think that because you sit with Karasuno, you sit at the top of the prison? You’re wrong. I can discard you whenever I choose.” Everyone else in the room looked up at Kageyama. Even though he wasn’t addressing them, they could all feel that shiver going down their spine. It wasn’t often that they saw Kageyama angry — in fact, it wasn’t often that they saw Kageyama, full stop.

      “Is this about Hi—”

      “No, it’s about everyone else. You think I don’t notice when you bully the newcomers, Yuutarou? You think I don’t notice when you pick on everyone who isn’t part of Karasuno or Nekoma? Do you remember what I did to Kitagawa Daiichi, Yuutarou? I don’t mind doing it again. I might not be as strong as I used to be,” he said, looking at his limp arms, “but I’m by no means weak. I will destroy you if you cross me like that; if you dampen Karasuno’s name the way you have.”

      Kunimi was trying to get out of the room unnoticed but Kageyama spotted him in his peripheral. “Kunimi. You too. Get over here.” The Kageyama lookalike slumped over until he was standing alongside Kindaichi, who might as well have been pissing himself. He’d only ever remained as Kageyama’s bodyguard because the guy terrified him. Kunimi had remained as the other bodyguard since he liked the benefits of being with Karasuno.

      “I also learnt something interesting, you two. I seem to recall being jumped during my first few weeks here. Of course, Wakunan took credit for that. But it’s my understanding that Johzenji and Wakunan were quite close at the time, so it made sense that the Johzenji helped out with that. Right after I got jumped, you two came and offered to be my bodyguards. I accepted. Not once did I think that it was you two who got me jumped in the first place.”

      Everyone in the room gasped. Before Kageyama had become as prominent in the prison as he was now, he’d been jumped. He’d been seen as weak. But after all the acts of badassery he’d done, he shot up in the prison ranks and made it right to the top. His two bodyguards had been there to witness that.

      Kindaichi stuttered. “I… uh…”

      “I ought to kill you right now. The both of you.” Kageyama was smiling now. Kunimi shrieked, but Kindaichi was still managing to keep his fear contained. “How do you think I should do it?” One of Kageyama’s hands was on Kindaichi’s shoulder. So naturally, Kageyama’s hand went onto Kunimi’s shoulder. Kunimi was pretty sure he could feel pee trickling down his leg now.

      Kindaichi was _still_ stuttering. “I… ah…”

      “I asked you a question. How should I kill you two?” To say that Kageyama was angry would’ve been an understatement. Kageyama had almost _died_ after being jumped by all those people. There’d been Johzenji members, Wakunan members. There were at least ten people there when he’d been jumped. If Oikawa and Iwaizumi hadn’t been nearby when it happened, Kageyama might’ve died.

      “Alright. Doesn’t look like you two want to speak up.” Kageyama let their shoulders go. “I’d really like to beat the both of you up right now, but that’s hardly becoming of someone like me, right?” It was then that Kageyama pulled out a toothbrush. It looked like a regular toothbrush, but instead of bristles, there was a razor. “Kill yourselves.”

      “Eh?” Kunimi’s eyes widened at the sight of the ‘toothbrush’.

      “Kill yourselves. Here.” Kageyama threw the toothbrush over at them. “If you try to use that on me, remember. I know you all have family on the outside. I also know where they all live. Osaka’s a beautiful place, isn’t it? They do onigiri best.”

      Hinata hadn’t been able to stay away. He _had_ to know what Kageyama was doing. But… he hadn’t expected something this damn _terrifying_. Kageyama made Takeru look like a child. Takeru’s style had been to scare with numbers. But Kageyama… he was scary because he just didn’t care. He wasn’t losing his temper. He was staying calm. It was his calmness in a situation like this which scared Hinata.

      “Oi, Kageyama.” Kinoshita was the first to speak up. “You’ll get extra time on your sentence just for having that toothbrush…”

      “That’s the last thing on my mind right now.” He hadn’t stopped staring Kindaichi in the eyes. “You first, _Yuutarou_.” The name rolled off his lips in a way which made Kindaichi feel like the sniper could kill with words alone.

      “Hey, hey. Kageyama. Don’t do that in here,” Nishinoya warned. “Asahi’s here. He’ll pass out if he sees blood.”

      It had been so long since anyone had seen this side of Kageyama that they weren’t sure if they _wanted_ this side to exist anymore. They all understood the reasoning behind Kageyama not wanting the two bodyguards to live anymore, but the way he was going about doing it was shocking, to say the least.

      “Do it, or I’ll do it myself.” Kageyama wasn’t backing down.

      Kindaichi knew it was best if he ended it now, rather than allowing Kageyama to do even more damage. Kindaichi had seen just what Kageyama was capable of all those years ago. He’d seen it. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. So, he put the bladed toothbrush to his throat, whispering a silent prayer to himself as he prepared to do it. His fingers just wouldn’t move. _He needs to do it_. They felt like stone. He didn’t want to die. He _didn’t_. He wanted to live. He needed to live.

      “Stop!” The blade jerked against Kindaichi’s throat all of a sudden, nicking the skin. He was bleeding, but he wasn’t dying. He threw the toothbrush down and backed away, stumbling over his own two feet and landing onto the ground. Kunimi had already sank down to his knees long ago, unable to support his weight any longer. Hinata was standing in the middle of the room, one hand held out in a ‘stop’ gesture. “Kageyama, I know you’re angry, but don’t!”

      “He must really be stupid,” Tanaka whispered to Nishinoya. The short cook nodded in response. They both knew that interrupting Kageyama at a time like this was just _asking_ for trouble.

      “Hinata. I told you to go back to your dorm.”

      “You said that you want to get out of prison one day. You won’t if you do this.” He stepped towards the sniper, who had an extremely irritated look on his face. “You know what? I don’t care what happens to them. I care about what happens to you. That bladed toothbrush? You’ll get sent to max just for having one.” Hinata crouched down and picked it up from the ground. He shoved it in his pocket and stood up once again. “Don’t be a coward, Kageyama.” Hinata moved to walk away, but Kageyama grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

      “No. Don’t take that with you. You might get searched.”

      “Why do you think I’m taking it?” Hinata pulled his arm out of Kageyama’s. “I don’t want you to be in trouble.”

      Kageyama reached into Hinata’s pocket and took the toothbrush. “I’ve told you. I don’t want you in trouble either.” His eyes had softened. It wasn’t noticeable to the average person, but everyone in the room could sense the change. Kageyama was aware that Kindaichi was starting to get up, so he kicked the turnip-headed man in the face. He went back down.

      “You’re an idiot, you know. You’re a sniper, not a knifer. The two are different.” Hinata took the toothbrush out of Kageyama’s hand and threw it back to the ground. He was still touching Kageyama’s hand. “If you’re going to get revenge, then at least be responsible about it. I think you need to take a breather right now, okay? Let’s go outside. Have a cigarette. Just… relax. Okay?”

      Kageyama nodded. “Yeah. Okay. But… what do I do about—”

      “Kageyama, we’ll deal with it,” Asahi rushed to say. “You can go.”

      Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand properly and began to tug him away from the two ex-bodyguards, who were still shaking on the ground with fear. Tsukishima watched the two of them carefully, already able to see that they were close. Very close. Kageyama liked Hinata. Maybe that was why Kageyama had thanked Tsukishima after the kiss. Tsukishima probably helped Kageyama to realise that he’d rather it be Hinata kissing him. It hurt a little, but Tsukishima knew that he could get over it. He would. Kuroo’s hand gripped his, a silent reminder that he was still there.

      Once the two men had disappeared, Kageyama’s scary aura had also disappeared.

      “That was fucking intense,” Nishinoya said, standing up at last. “I thought I was about to die there.”

      “I think we need to thank Hinata, you know,” Suga said. “That could’ve ended really badly if he hadn’t come here.”

      “No. We need to apologise,” Ennoshita said. “We’ve been really sour towards him. Plus, if we keep him around, it’ll give me more ideas for plots. For example, those two getting terrified would look _great_ for my debut movie. You know, their reactions are so realistic…” Nobody bothered to tell Ennoshita that the bodyguards’ reactions _were_ genuine. He cast a look over at Kindaichi, who was curled up tightly in a ball. Kunimi was shaking in his own pee.

      “That reminds me,” Asahi said. “What are we going to do about those two? And the toothbrush?”

      “Simple.” Tsukishima stood up and retrieved the toothbrush. He could feel that sadistic glint in his eyes as he advanced towards the two dark-haired man.

      “Guys, should we be letting Tsukishima hold that—”

      “It’s fine. He won’t kill them,” Kuroo drawled.

***

      Kuroo had been telling the truth. All Tsukishima had done was plant the toothbrush on Kindaichi and force them out of the room. Then, Tsukishima had whispered into their ears that if they didn’t try to kill each other, he’d hunt down all of their family members. So, predictably enough, Kindaichi and Kunimi had broken out into a big brawl right in the middle of the corridor. Tsukishima had made everyone pay him in chocolate bars, ramen and cigarettes if they wanted to watch. So, not only did he get to see a good fight, he also got to profit off it. Tsukishima was happy, _very_ happy.

      Meanwhile, Kageyama and Hinata were standing by the sheds. Kageyama was leaning against the shed as usual, blowing out long streams of smoke through his parted lips. Hinata stood by his side in silence, not speaking until Kageyama had finished smoking his cigarette.

      “Are you okay now, Kageyama?”

      He nodded. “Yeah. T…Thanks. I didn’t think I’d be saying this, but I’m glad you stopped me there.”

      “It’s okay. Man, you say that you want to protect me, but I think you’re the one that needs to be protected.” Hinata poked Kageyama’s cheek teasingly. “Hey, you have influence in this place, right? Tell them to put some weights in the weights room. There’s nothing in there but two guys fucking every now and again,” Hinata muttered.

      “And who’s paying for those weights?”

      “I will,” Hinata insisted. “I need to start building my muscle back.” For the first time, Kageyama found himself looking over the smaller male’s physique. Hinata’s arms still looked quite muscular. Kageyama didn’t see what the problem was. Nor could he see that Hinata was very much aware that Kageyama was checking him out. Well, at least until Hinata started laughing.

      “W…What?”

      “You’re joining me in my voyeurism now. Interesting, Kageyama.”

      “No I’m not.” Kageyama folded his arms stubbornly. “I’m just wondering what you mean. You look muscular.”

      “No, feel.” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand and put it on his arm. Then, Hinata tensed his muscles, allowing Kageyama to feel. “They _look_ muscular, but it’s starting to get a bit flabby. I don’t like it.”

      “Well, you could still beat me in arm wrestling.”

      “I think a baby could beat you in arm wrestling, Kageyama.”

      Kageyama glared at him and pulled his hand away, letting it drop down to his side. “See. I try to compliment you and you turn it into criticism.”

      Hinata frowned. “You’re not upset, right?”

      “How weak-willed do I look?”

      Hinata sighed. _Great_. He just managed to start yet another argument. “I think you’re the only person who manages to get so pissed off by me, you know.”

      “Well, if you’d like that to change, you could start by using that smart mouth of yours less often. It’s irritating.”

      There was a certain flash in Hinata’s usually-clear eyes. He thought for a few moments before responding to Kageyama. “Well, talking’s kind of my thing. What else do you expect me to do?”

      “I don’t know.” Kageyama raised his eyebrows at Hinata. “Just don’t be annoying. And I’ll see what I can do about the weights. I’ll ask Oikawa to bring it up with the warden.”

      “Who’s going to replace Iwaizumi, by the way? I really liked him,” Hinata said. “He was a volleyball fan. His son looks up to me.”

      “Someone looking _up_ to you? That’s a first.” At first, Hinata didn’t get the joke. But then he looked up at Kageyama, the man who was very much taller than him. Then down at his legs, which were very much shorter than Kageyama’s.

      “Shut up. You’re so mean, Kageyama.”

      “I never claimed to be nice, idiot.”

      “Whatever.” Hinata pouted at him. “I should probably go to the garden. I’ve got work to do. I’ll see you later though. But, I want you to remember something. If you feel like you’re going to snap mentally, then just think of something that makes you feel calm. Or happy. Whatever works for you.”  _Think of me_ , Hinata willed.

      “I don’t need you to tell me that.” Kageyama flicked Hinata’s head.

      “Ow! That hurt, idiot!”

      “Have fun at work. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Kageyama walked away before Hinata could fully absorb the words. _Tomorrow morning_. Hinata had been planning to go and convince Suga to talk to Kageyama so that the sniper would run with him, but it looks like he didn’t need to. Kageyama was saying yes.

      “See you!” Hinata couldn’t stop grinning. He finally had a running partner. _At last_. He pumped his fist into the air as he skipped over to the garden. The sun wasn’t out. It was cloudy, but that didn’t matter. Hinata was outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey want to write a spinoff where Tsukishima and Kageyama are like partners in crime because they're both so SCARY but I love it.. Kageyama's there to drop truth bombs and Tsukishima's there to be salty. *sprinkles salt on my laptop* perfect.


	34. Porcelain Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warden finally gets around to hiring some new C.Os and a head C.O. who goes by 'Towada'. His first action is to send two of Karasuno's cooks to the SHU, which elicits a reaction from Kageyama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porcelain Heart (the title) is a song by Opeth which Kageyama mentions in this chapter. If you like, you should listen to it while reading this chapter. It sums everything up PERFECTLY, I promise.  
> \---  
> I lost all I had (that April day),  
> I turned to my friends (nothing to say),  
> I wrote down a name (and read it twice),  
> I wallowed in shame.
> 
> I said that I loved (eternal schemes),  
> I cling to my past (like childish dreams)  
> I promised to stay (and held my breath)  
> I went far away.
> 
> Icy roads beneath my feet,  
> Lead me through wastelands of deceit,  
> Rest your head now, don't you cry,  
> Don't ever ask the reason why
> 
> Kept inside our idle race  
> Ghost of an idol's false embrace  
> Rest your head now, don't you cry  
> Don't ever ask the reasons why.  
> \---

      “A notebook?” Yamamoto’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Usually it’s Ennoshita asking for notebooks. Is it for him?” It was dinnertime at last. Kageyama had gone straight to the back of the kitchens, determined to get his hands on a notebook.

      “No, it’s for me.” Kageyama smirked. “What, is the idea of me wanting to write weird to you?”

      “N—No. Of course not,” Yamamoto said. “I’ll put in a call to my guy. The delivery comes tomorrow, so I should be able to get it to you by lunch. By the way, you know the Gun Gun yoghurt?”

      “Yeah. What about it?”

      “It’s being discontinued.”

      Kageyama’s smirk switched into a glare. Yamamoto had known Kageyama for a long time, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t any less intimidated by the sniper.

      “When?”

      “At the end of this month. It’s the twenty-fifth today, so there’s seven days until the first of June.”

      “June the first.” The date held a special place in Kageyama’s heart. _1 st June_. His mother’s birthday. Every year, he’d request a bouquet of flowers and an Okinawa postcard. Then, he’d refuse to speak to anyone for the entire day. He’d go sit outside by the sheds and lie on the grass all day, with his eyes closed and the same tatty letter resting on his chest. The sun would always be out on that day. Always.

      “I want you to order every last tub of Gun Gun yoghurt they’ve got.”

      “What if it’s hundreds—”

      “Every. Last. Tub. I can afford it, can’t I?”

      “Well, yeah. But it’s a big delivery, Kageyama. If I’m bringing in _that_ much contraband, the C.Os are going to start asking questions. They might make me change the courier. Then what will I do?”

      “The C.Os won’t ask questions unless I tell them to. I grew up on that yoghurt. I want that yoghurt. You’ll get me that yoghurt, Taketora.”

      “I think I preferred you when you were sending Kindaichi and Kunimi to me,” Yamamoto joked. “Oh well. Fine. It’ll be done. Now, can I interest you in dinner today—”

      “No, I’ll be fine. Have a good day.” Kageyama walked out, grabbed a plastic cup of water and went over to his table. There were two empty seats where Kindaichi and Kunimi usually would’ve been sitting. And of course, the one empty seat next to Suga. Karasuno’s size was beginning to dwindle. However, Tanaka came over and slipped into Kindaichi’s former seat. He had bandages all over his fingers, since he’d made quite a few mistakes when trying to chop up some onions.

      “Tsukishima, you’re the one who looks like a jack-o’-lantern now,” Kuroo joked. Kageyama was surprised to see that the table had changed a little. Usually, Kuroo sat next to Kenma and Tsukishima sat next to Yamaguchi. But Kuroo had swapped places with Yamaguchi. Kenma and Yamaguchi were having a quiet conversation of their own, which the both of them seemed to be quite invested in.

      “Of course. Did you see how much food I got from that fight?” Tsukishima was chewing happily on a chocolate bar. “Hey, Kageyama. Your problem’s solved. Both Kunimi and Kindaichi are in max now. Although, you know they’ve hired some new C.Os?”

      Kageyama’s interest was piqued. “New C.Os?”

      “Yeah. I’m talking brand new, badge-toting C.Os.”

      “Anything about a new counsellor?”

      “Yes. It’s a woman.”

      At the sound of that, everyone turned to face Tsukishima. “Ehh?”

      Tanaka’s eyes were alight with interest. “What does she look like?”

      “I only saw her briefly, so I can’t tell you eye colours, but she has dark hair. She’s five-foot-four. She wears glasses—”

      “I’m going to find her.” Tanaka stood up and looked towards the door, slapping a hand to his chest. He took in a deep breath before yelling out one name. “Noya-san!”

      The short cook dashed towards Tanaka, slapping a hand to his chest in response. “What is is, Ryuu?”

      “It has come to my attention that there’s a female counsellor. Dark hair. Five-foot-four. Glasses—”

      “Glasses?” Nishinoya’s hand swept out to his right, his head swinging in the same direction. “This is… monumental. We must find this counsellor.”

      “Yes, Noya-san. We must.”

      “But first… what is her name?”

      “Shimizu.” Tsukishima was looking thoroughly amused by the two men. So did Kuroo. He was snickering beside Tsukishima, a noise that was like music to the blonde’s ears.

      “Shimizu! We will find you,” Tanaka yelled.

      “And we will cherish you!” The two raced out of the cafeteria—or at least, they attempted to. They were stopped by a C.O., but it wasn’t one that they’d seen before. He looked different.

      “Inmates. She’s taken. So, why don’t you skedaddle and do your jobs?” The C.O. smirked at the way their faces fell. “By the way, disruption in the cafeteria. One shot each. Abandoning your jobs. Another shot each. Dying your hair. One shot.” The C.O. pulled out a pair of scissors and attempted to snip the piece of dyed hair out of Nishinoya’s hair. However, the short cook had the foresight to step back before he could.

      “Are you insane?” Tanaka stepped forward to defend his best friend. “You deserve a shot for being an asshole! Who the hell are you, anyway?”

      “Ah. Boys, we got an aggressive one here. Take him to the SHU.” Tanaka’s eyes glanced over the badge the C.O. was wearing. _Towada_.

      Nishinoya’s eyes widened. “Wait. No. Who are you?”

      “Resistance! Hey, take his buddy too. We’ll fill those quotas in no time.” Suddenly, a whole crowd of unfamiliar C.Os swarmed in, looking over all of the inmates who had stopped eating. The main C.O. marched out, baton out in plain sight. Meanwhile, in the background, Tanaka and Nishinoya were being dragged out through the hallways and over to the prison van by two buff-looking C.Os. They didn’t allow inmates to drive the van anymore; they’d hired a driver for that purpose.

      “Inmates! You might’ve been allowed to roam about wherever you please before today. But now, we’re telling you that you can’t do that. You inmates, you treat us C.Os with little respect. No honorifics. No politeness. We won’t stand for it anymore. If you step out of line, you get a shot. Look at us the wrong way, you get a shot. Homosexual activity? Three shots. You don’t run this prison. We do.”

      Kageyama stood up. “No, that’s where you’re wrong.”

      “Excuse me?”

      Ennoshita looked up at the sniper, a look of alarm on his face. “Kageyama, stop—”

      “I’m Kageyama Tobio. This is my prison.” Kageyama had walked right up to Towada, who was glaring at Kageyama. The two of them were the same height, so they were seeing eye-to-eye. However, Kageyama somehow managed to make himself seem bigger than he actually was. He had a big presence, a presence that nothing could dull.

      “Nonsense. You’re an inmate.”

      “I’m an inmate who could get your ass fired if I wanted to. Do what you want. But don’t tell these people lies. You’re not the owners of this prison, you’re just outsiders.” Kageyama’s eyes darkened. “You’re going to tell your little buddies to bring Tanaka and Nishinoya back. Now.”

      “Do you all see this?” Towada burst into laughter. “I’m being told what to do by this scrawny little inmate! Hilarious!”

      “Well, this _inmate_ has more power in his pinkie than you do in your entire body!” Hinata was standing alongside Kageyama, folding his arms stubbornly. “Right, Kageyama?”

      Kageyama would’ve told the orange-haired ace to go and sit down, but he knew that if he were to start arguing with Hinata, it would greatly diminish his credibility. He had to roll with it.

      “Do they feed you people in this prison? He looks like a prop in a horror movie,” Towada said. “Anyway, shot for you, shot for you. Go sit down.”

      “Give me a shot and I’ll tell all these inmates to start rioting.”

      “Go ahead. We’re armed,” Towada said.

      Kageyama chuckled, a cold chuckle that sent a chill going down the C.Os’ spines. “Alright then.” He turned to face the inmates, who were blinking right back at him. “You all know what to do. They send some of ours down, we take some of theirs. Let’s go.”

***

      The second the command had left Kageyama’s lips, food went flying across the cafeteria. The men went wild. Throwing chairs; tipping tables. The C.Os were hitting inmates with batons and trying to handcuff them, but there wasn’t enough of them. There were twenty of them but hundreds of inmates. Although not everyone agreed with Kageyama, there was one thing that everyone could agree on: riots were fun.

      Amongst the rioting, Kageyama and Hinata had slipped out of the room, not wanting to be involved. They hurried down to the King’s Palace, into the room which Kageyama was glad to call his own and shut the door fast, breathing heavily once they’d made it.

      “Kageyama. Did you really just start a riot?”

      The sniper chuckled. “Why not? That asshole sent Noya and Tanaka down. Taketora will struggle without their help and Asahi will feel lonely.”

      “How long before it’s over?”

      “It’ll be over by tomorrow. I usually induce riots whenever the C.Os piss me off.” Kageyama had made the mistake of not inducing a riot when Daichi had been sent to the SHU. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

      Hinata could barely believe what he was hearing. “You take being a diva to a whole different level, Kageyama. Don’t people get in trouble?”

      “Only if someone dies. But most people in here aren’t stupid enough to go around killing C.Os. We’ll be fine as long as we stay in here, okay?” Kageyama began to touch Hinata’s hair. The orange-haired ace could feel himself flushing bright red. He loved hair rubs, he really did.

      “Do you make it a habit to stick plastic spoons in your hair?” Kageyama was holding two plastic spoons in his hand. Upon noticing that Hinata was blushing, the sniper allowed himself a small smile. It was nowhere near being a full-blown smile, but his muscles were reacting on their own.

      “Damn. It was probably Futamata.” Hinata went and sat down on Kageyama’s bed. It was quite cool in this room, since there were no windows for light to peek through. Nor were there any heaters to speak of. “I was wondering why he wouldn’t stop touching my hair.”

      “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you actually brush your hair?”

      “Of course I do! It’s just curly!”

      “Then how were these spoons stuck in there so firmly?”

      Hinata looked away from Kageyama. “Shut up. Bakageyama.”

      “Okay, okay.” Hinata could feel a dip on the other side of him. Kageyama was on his bed as well, lying down. He had his MP3 in his hands. “I’m playing some music. I hope you don’t mind.”

      “Go ahead.” Moments later, some metal music began to play. It wasn’t clashing symbols and screaming nonsense like Hinata had expected, but it still sounded pretty heavy. The instruments sounded like they were in _pain_ , which fascinated Hinata. There was a guitar playing a heavy riff and some drums accompanying, drums which seemed to calm the dark-haired sniper down. The vocals themselves felt melancholic; the gentle plucking of the guitar strings were making Hinata feel as if the guitarist were plucking at his heartstrings. It was heavy, but gentle at the same time. Hinata wasn’t sure how to classify the song. But whatever it was, he liked it.

      Kageyama’s eyes were closed as he murmured the lyrics to himself. He looked peaceful, even despite the melancholic lyrics. “I… said that I loved, eternal schemes. I, cling to my past… like childish dreams. I, promised to stay… and held my breath. I went far away.”

      The strumming and instrumentals went on for a while. Kageyama didn’t sing along after that, but he had tears gathering in his eyes. They’d never fall down, but they were there nevertheless. When Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand, the sniper’s head jerked in shock. The sudden jerk caused one of those tears to slip out. It ran down Kageyama’s porcelain cheek, fell onto the sheets.

      “Kageyama…”

      “It’s called Porcelain Heart.” The sniper could barely speak. He stared up at the ceiling as the song filtered out, before coming to an end. Right after that song came another one with gentle strumming, although it sounded like an instrumental. There were no lyrics in this one.

      “You relate to it, don’t you?” Hinata wanted to comfort him so badly. But… he wasn’t sure what to do. Touch made Kageyama uncomfortable and Kageyama wasn’t good at talking about his feelings.

      “I can’t stop thinking about the past. You know, there was a time where I was able to love.” Kageyama thought about his mother, her red tresses and the sun she carried around with her. She was bright in every way possible, but Mother Nature had decided that her time to shine was no more. And now Kageyama was alone.

      “Hey…”

      “I couldn’t even mourn her death. I never got to visit her grave. I was always forced to shove my emotions away and _move on_. Even when I was covered in his blood… I couldn’t think about anyone but her. I’m not over it. She shouldn’t have died. I take all these lives, hoping that it’ll help me to feel any better about hers being lost, but it doesn’t, alright? It doesn’t!”

      “Kageyama. I’m here.” He blinked up at the ace. His orange hair, the sun he was carrying around with him. He was still bright in every way possible; his eyes. They were unwavering in their brightness; they were absolute.

      “That’s why I can’t stay away from you,” Kageyama said, grabbing Hinata’s face. “You’re just like her. Your hair. Your spirit. I missed that spirit so much, Hinata. I fucking miss it.”

      Hinata wasn’t thinking when he put his lips to Kageyama’s. He remained there for a few moments, seeing if Kageyama would make any sort of move. Kageyama took his hands off Hinata’s face and pushed Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata detached his lips from Kageyama’s. The sniper looked even more broken than ever; unable to speak or do _anything_.

      “I can’t love you, Hinata. If that’s what you want, I can’t.”

      “Kageyama…”

      “I’m sorry.” Kageyama stood up, pulled his blankets back and got under his sheets, turning away so that he wasn’t looking at Hinata. “There’s a futon under my bed. Sleep whenever you’re ready.”

      All Hinata could feel was that faint trace of menthol on his lips. Cold, unforgiving. That was Kageyama. But… he wasn’t sure how to feel anymore. Kageyama was just as confusing as he was interesting.


	35. What's Happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama can run his mouth when he's angry, but he can't run FULL STOP.
> 
> (I get the feeling that if there was ever an anime in which Haikyuu and KnB kind of just merge into one, Akashi could probably get along really well with Kageyama and Tsukishima. I can see it happening.)

      “A riot? Are you okay, Suga?”

      Suga sighed. “Yes, Keishin. I’m fine. But I don’t think you’ll be able to visit me tomorrow. They usually don’t allow visitation right after a riot happens. Well, unless Warden works his magic. I’ll text you when I’m sure though.”

      Keishin groaned. “Damn. It’s been a while since I last saw you…”

      “Yeah. But at least I got my hands on a phone,” Suga murmured, grinning to himself. It had cost him twelve packs of ramen and four chocolate bars (hopefully Tsukishima wouldn’t notice that some of his chocolate had disappeared) but he’d gotten his hands on a pretty techy phone. Not one of those crappy flip phones, an _actual_ phone. It even had the video call ability. However, Suga didn’t want to use it until he’d had a chance to make himself look like he _wasn’t_ a zombie.

      “Are you okay?”

      “You already asked me that,” Suga pointed out.

      “I know. But… I’m worried.”

      “No. Not really,” Suga admitted. “Kageyama’s not talking to me. He got angry when I told him that I was talking to you. We had a fight, but we haven’t talked since then. It’s not just him. Everyone’s been avoiding me lately.”

      “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Keishin eventually said. “If I wasn’t in the picture, then…”

      “No. I… I loved the both of you. I don’t want to lose both of you, too.” Suga took a deep breath. “Okay?”

      “Alright. If you’re sure.”

***

      When morning rolled by at last, any evidence of a riot had magically disappeared. Warden had burst into Kageyama’s room along with the asshole C.O. Towada, demanding an explanation for the riot he’d induced. Then, they had spotted the orange-haired ace who was lying on a futon nearby. He was still fast asleep. They didn’t say anything about it, although the warden raised an eyebrow at the whole ordeal.

      “I did it because he underestimated me,” Kageyama said, yawning into his cupped palm. “Tell your C.Os to remember who they’re talking to next time.”

      “W—Warden!” Towada looked like he wanted to rip his hair out. Oh, and Kageyama’s. Even though he’d only just woken up, Kageyama’s hair was just as bone-straight as usual. There were no strands out of place.

      “Towada. He’s correct,” the warden said through gritted teeth. “Although, Kageyama. You don’t control the prison. You control the _prisoners_. There’s a difference.”

      “Alright. I’ll accept that,” Kageyama said. “Now, tell him to get on his knees. And apologise.”

      “B—But! Warden!”

      “I’m not afraid to start another riot. I know how much work you put into hiding these riots from the media, Warden.” Kageyama smirked. “Now, on your knees. Like the dog you are.”

      “Kageyama,” Warden said in his warning tone. “Don’t get in over your head.”

      “No. He disrespected me. I want him on his knees, _now_.”

      The warden stood there for a few moments, letting out a deep sigh as his eyes looked over the room. Kageyama had been wise enough to keep his contraband out of plain sight. He didn’t want his cigarettes to be taken. _Again_.

      “Towada. Do what he says.”

      The dark-haired C.O. let out a choked gasp as he looked from the warden to Kageyama, who was smirking. He was being told what to do by a _prisoner_ who was still in his pajamas. It all seemed like some sort of sick joke, except it was really happening.

      The C.O. got onto his knees and bowed his head down in an act of dogeza. He had to keep his head like that for a good few minutes. Finally, once Kageyama had gotten enough amusement from the act, he stood up from his bed.

      “Alright, fool. Raise your head.” Towada did as told. Suddenly, the scrawny prisoner from yesterday seemed stronger than any of his other muscular C.Os. “Now. I want Tanaka and Nishinoya out of the SHU. Last time that you C.Os threw my people in there, one of them came out dead.”

      “That’s been dealt with, Kageyama. They’re asleep in their own squares right now. They haven’t been harmed.” Warden nodded.

      “Good. Also, while I’ve got you here in person, what do you say we put some actual weights in the weights room? If C.O. Towada here wants to cut down on ‘homosexual activity’, then maybe it’s a good idea not to have so many empty rooms.”

      “You’re awfully demanding today, Kageyama.”

      “And you should expect nothing less. After all, it’s me and my people who keep the rest of the prisoners in line, even after the way you wronged Daichi.” That was the reason why Kageyama was given so many privileges. Karasuno kept an eye on the newcomers, making sure that the Johzenji didn’t try to go after them. They made sure that fights were at a minimum _and_ they also kept drugs out of the prison. Yamamoto would _never_ let drugs pass through his kitchen. Never. It was because of all of this that the warden was able to save money on staff. In exchange for some privileges, Kageyama was more than willing to lead Karasuno to do whatever was necessary.

      “Yes. That’s true.” Warden nodded. “I’ll review the budget for this year and see what I can do about it.” Ever since Daichi’s death, the warden had become a _lot_ more compliant with Kageyama’s orders. The one time the warden had defied him had been the one time the prison had gone crashing down. He’d learnt an important lesson there.

      “Brat,” Towada muttered under his breath. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. How could he keep everyone in line if there was a megalomaniac like Kageyama running things? “I remember you now. You’re the sniper who went by the alias King.”

      “Warden. Do we really need more C.Os around here? Especially types like _him_.” Kageyama wrinkled his nose at Towada. “If anything, it’s only going to result in more riots.”

      “Kageyama. Please remember that you’re still an inmate. Your words can only carry so much weight,” the warden said.

      “I’m aware of that.”

      “There’s been a lot of contraband about lately, by the way. I’m pretty sure you’re meant to be keeping contraband _out_ ,” Warden reminded Kageyama. “If I were to search your room right now, I’m pretty sure I would find contraband. If I were to search the kitchen, I’d probably find contraband. Right?”

      “Yes. You would.” Kageyama had a really bad habit for telling the truth. Unfortunately, it only kicked in when he needed that habit the least.

      “So, we need C.Os like Towada over here to do the things that you won’t. Getting rid of contraband is one of those things. So, by all means, continue to do what you’re doing. But don’t undermine Towada or his staff in front of the prisoners. We _will_ have problems if you induce another riot like you did yesterday, Kageyama.”

      “Alright.” Kageyama began to make his bed, the same way he did every morning. “Is that all?”

      “Yes. Everything will run as normal today, including visitation. Good day, Kageyama.” Towada shot a glare at Kageyama as he walked out. Warden walked out afterwards, shutting the door behind him. It was then that Hinata sat up, looking at Kageyama through bleary eyes.

      “You’re not in trouble?”

      Kageyama laughed. “Nope. Have you forgotten? Without me, the prison falls apart. Same for the other members of Karasuno.”

      Whenever one of the Karasuno members disappear, the loss is felt around the entire prison. If one of the cooks go, the food lacks a bit of life. If Tsukishima goes, then there’s nowhere near enough vegetables to cook. The garden will cease to thrive. If Ennoshita goes, suddenly nobody knows what’s happening around the prison. There’s no-one to spread information. If Yamaguchi goes, there’ll be nobody to organise movie night. If Kinoshita goes… well, nobody actually notices. (Oops.) When Daichi went, it shook the foundation of the prison itself. It’s still not the same to this day. And as for Suga, if he goes then the prison stops feeling so bright. Although, the grey-haired man hasn’t been himself recently. He’s been keeping to himself. If Kageyama goes… it’ll most likely induce a massive riot since there’ll be a battle for someone to take his place.

      “Ah. Right.” Hinata nodded. “Are we still going for a run? Sorry, _walk_.”

      “Yes. Just fold the futon up and put it under my bed,” Kageyama ordered. “We’ll go.” Hinata obliged and did it at record speed, before hopping up to his feet and going towards the door.

      “Done!”

      “Alright. Let’s go, then.”

      The two of them walked, Hinata slightly ahead of Kageyama. Hinata was still feeling a little embarrassed about what had happened yesterday, but Kageyama seemed to have forgotten about it already. He was acting just as he normally did.

      Once they reached the track, Hinata broke into a light jog. Kageyama groaned.

      “That’s too fast,” he complained.

      “I’m _jogging_! Come on, Bakageyama!” Hinata pulled on the sniper’s arm and coerced him into jogging. Kageyama was beginning to regret agreeing to this tomfoolery. He was becoming breathless, his lungs were burning and he felt like his legs would buckle from beneath him any moment.

      “You’re doing good,” Hinata said, his tone encouraging. “Keep going. We’ve almost made it halfway.”

      “Halfway?!” Kageyama was gasping for breath. “How long is this fucking thing?!”

      “Two-hundred metres,” Hinata responded.

      “And you run around this again and again… you’re a monster.”

      “No, Kageyama. See? Your running posture’s good. You need to work on your breathing, but you could run just as much as me. The only problem is that you need _energy_.” They hit the halfway point, much to Kageyama’s relief.

      “I have lots of energy,” Kageyama huffed. “Shut up.”

      “Says the one who’s breathing like he’s on Mars.”

      “Shut up!” Kageyama reached for Hinata’s hair, but the boy smartly dashed out of reach. Kageyama began to sprint after Hinata, who had also broken into a sprint. They ran lap after lap until Kageyama’s knees buckled from beneath him at last. His eyes were streaming as he gasped for water, _something_ to stop his lungs from burning so much.

      “Hey, Kageyama. You had me running at forty percent of my total speed. That’s pretty good for a first-timer.”

      Kageyama felt like he was going to pass out. “Forty percent.” The sniper had been running at potential he didn’t even _know_ he had, yet he still hadn’t been able to make Hinata run at least _half_ of his potential speed.

      “Let’s go inside. You can have some water then.”

      For the first time in a long time, Kageyama was beginning to feel hungry. _Really_ hungry. His stomach let out a large growl which embarrassed both him and Hinata, who thought that it was his stomach at first.

      “See? When you exercise, you start to feel normal.” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand and pulled him back up onto his feet. Kageyama was still struggling to support his own weight, however. He felt like he’d pass out any second.

      “Stop. I really… I can’t walk.” Kageyama’s head was spinning. He’d _definitely_ pushed himself too hard on the track.

      Hinata allowed him to sit down once again. They’d gone to one side so that they wouldn’t get in the way of the runners (well, _runner_ ) and Hinata was currently trying to fan Kageyama with his hands.

      “Sorry,” Hinata eventually said. “I understand if you don’t want to do this again.”

      “No.” Kageyama managed to stop gasping for breath long enough to get out a sentence. “Next time, I’ll make you run at one hundred percent.”

      “Is that a bet, Kageyama?”

      “No. It’s a promise.”

      “Pretty hard to believe when you can’t even walk on your own…”

      “Shut up!”

      Hinata laughed. “Man. You only managed to keep me at forty percent for what, thirty seconds?”

      “You’re an athlete, idiot! I’m not meant to be able to overtake you on my first try!”

      “At least I can beat you at something, huh?”

      “Shut up,” Kageyama insisted. “Such an _idiot_.”

      “Says the one who’s wearing his shirt the wrong way round.”

***

      It took a while before Hinata and Kageyama were able to stop arguing long enough to go inside and head over to the showers. There were seven dorms in the entire prison — Nekoma, Karasuno (commonly referred to as the King’s Palace), Shiratorizawa, Johzenji, the newcomer’s dorm, Mukankei Ichi and Mukankei Ni. Both Mukankei dorms were full of people who weren’t from the four major Japanese gangs, so you’d expect to find small-time gangs and foreigners living in those dorms. Mukankei Ichi was the biggest dorm in the entire prison. Mukankei Ni had had to be formed once more and more gang members began to roll in. If you weren’t part of those four gangs, then expect to be treated lesser-than. Even the Johzenji, despised by many, were given their own dorm. It was mainly to keep them from causing trouble around the prison.

      The upside to being in a dorm that _wasn’t_ Mukankei was that you got to have the shower room to yourself. Each dorm had their own shower room (except Ichi and Ni, they had a shared shower room). Of course, Karasuno and Nekoma were the ones with the best water. Theirs was always warm and the jets ran clear. There _were_ times when they found themselves having to share with Johzenji or Shiratorizawa due to water leakages and pipe problems, but most of the time, they were able to keep their own shower rooms.

      So, when Hinata and Kageyama stepped into the shower room, Kageyama was surprised when Hinata began to strip in front of him.

      “Hey, what are you doing?” Kageyama put a hand on Hinata’s, stopping the small ace from taking his shirt off. Kageyama could feel himself blushing. “There’s stalls over there. Ours are bigger than the Johzenji ones. You can hang your clothes on the pegs inside.”

      “Won’t they get wet?”

      “The shower doesn’t reach that far.” Kageyama pointed over to a stall at the end. “Use that stall. There’s a fresh towel in that one.”

      “Alright.” Hinata hopped over to the stall and shut himself in there before stripping off and turning on the water. It _was_ quite spacious in the shower, big enough to fit at least two people in it. And the water jets felt so nice on his back, nice and hot. It reminded him of his shower back at home. It had had LED lights and temperature-changing tiles. While this one wasn’t on _that_ kind of level, it was beginning to feel pretty damn close.

      Kageyama, on the other hand, was staring blankly at the shower curtain as the water washed over him. He was wearing a shower cap on his head and nothing else. He was wishing that he could take a bath right now. With baths, he could hide his entire body underneath the water and cover it with sudsy water that smells nice. But like this, anyone could just tear the curtain to one side and intrude on him. The thought terrified him. It was for this reason that he couldn’t just _focus_ on having a normal shower. He usually just tried to wash everywhere as quickly as he could before drying off and getting out.

      It was a couple minutes later when Kageyama stepped out of his stall, wrapped in a towel from the chest down. He went over to the nearest mirror, grabbed a safety razor and began to shave away the stubble that had been beginning to grow on his face. For some reason, Kageyama wasn’t able to grow much hair, but wherever he had hair, he shaved it. It usually took him three, four minutes at the most. Once he’d done that, he slipped back into his shower stall and put his clothes back on. He came back out once again to see that Hinata was proudly walking around butt-naked.

      “H—Hinata!” Kageyama flushed bright red and covered his eyes with both hands when he realised that Hinata wasn’t wearing anything. “There’s a stall right there!”

      “Yeah, but I need to comb my hair while it’s still wet. I can’t do it without a mirror,” Hinata explained. “How are you dressed already? And _how is your hair so straight_? Tell me your secrets, Kageyama.”

      “Can you _please_ go and put on some clothes?”

      “Wait, wait. Question. Is it normal for my fingers to go all pruny after standing under the water for so long—”

      “Hinata.”

      “Fine. Jeez.” Hinata walked back over to the stall and shut the shower curtain, confused as to why Kageyama seemed so embarrassed. In the Johzenji shower room, _everyone_ let it all hang free. There wasn’t any room for embarrassment. In fact, everyone in Johzenji was so _positive_. Usually, Hinata could expect to hear a compliment from at least one of the members. They all complimented one another. Most of the members were so comfortable that they could ask each other to shave their buttholes for them (Hinata hadn’t quite reached that level of trust yet).

      Once Hinata stepped out, this time wearing clothes, Kageyama seemed to have recovered his composure.

      “Hey, idiot. We have count in five minutes. Hurry up.”

      “Okay, okay. I just gotta tame my hair,” Hinata sang, hurrying over to the mirrors and dragging his comb through his locks. Well, technically, it was Kageyama’s comb, but since Hinata was holding it, he chose to claim it as his. He seemed to be making progress with his hair—well, at least until he started to dig down to the roots. It was then that the comb chose to break in two. “ _Damnit_.”

      “What? What’s wrong?” Kageyama rushed over to Hinata.

      “The comb broke.” Hinata managed to tug out one half, which had been lodged in there pretty deep. “Now my hair’s going to be all tangled.”

      “It doesn’t look any different from usual.” Kageyama hadn’t even been trying to antagonise Hinata — the sniper was being completely serious. That only irritated Hinata even more than it should have.

      “Shut up, Bakageyama.”

      “Says the one who broke my comb. You owe me a new one.” Kageyama frowned at himself in the mirror. He had one strand of hair sticking out of place. “Thanks.”

      “Don’t say _thanks_ like that! You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?”

      “No. I’m seriously thanking you. Now I get to walk around looking like I’ve downgraded.”

      “Kageyama, I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic!”

      “I’m not. I’m genuinely happy that I get to look worse than usual, Hinata. Thank you so much.”

      “Are! You! Being! Sarcastic?!”

      “Of course not, Hinata. How could someone like me ever be insincere in such a manner?” Kageyama was smirking. He was wondering how long it would take before the ace was able to understand how sarcasm worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Mukankei (無関係) is a Japanese word meaning 'irrelevant'. (It's also one of my favourites, hehe. I love saying it. Mukankeiiii....)


	36. Passing Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ennoshita's pretty much the Haikyuu fandom personified, lmao.  
> Everyone's also surprised that Kageyama seems to be adept at flirting (even if he doesn't realise it).

      “He’s eating,” Kinoshita whispered.

      “Shut up, Kusoshita. You’ll put him off,” Ennoshita hissed.

      Kageyama looked up from his bowl of tamago gohan. The entire table was staring at him, Nekoma included. They weren’t even trying to hide their shock. “Do you all have to stare like that?”

      “Oh… um, go ahead.” Kinoshita nodded. “Tastes great, right?”

      “ _Kusoshita_ ,” Ennoshita hissed once again in his warning tone.

      “What? I’m asking if he likes it!”

      Kuroo and Tsukishima were snickering to themselves. Kenma and Yamaguchi were quietly chuckling. Even Suga was able to shake his head while smiling at the bickering two.

      “It’s okay, I suppose.” Kageyama continued to eat from his bowl without another word. He was just focused on finishing his food since he had nothing else to do. Those new C.Os were _really_ focused on enforcing the rules. They wouldn’t allow anyone out of the cafeteria, not even Kageyama himself. The C.Os would go into dorms personally and make sure that everyone was out for breakfast, dinner and lunch. It had only been one day, so Kageyama wasn’t sure of what else they wanted to do, but the prison was about to change. It was going to change a _lot_.

      “Kageyama!” Yamamoto was rushing towards Kageyama, holding a notebook in his hands. “Your notebook’s come. It came with a complimentary pen as well.”

      “Oh, that’s great. Thank you, Taketora.” Kageyama scraped up the last of his tamago gohan with his chopsticks, put it in his mouth and retrieved the notebook from Yamamoto, along with the pen. “By the way. Did you make the order for the yoghurt yet?”

      “Yeah, I asked my guy about it. I’m still waiting to hear back.”

      “I’ve changed my mind. Just get me my usual three boxes of twenty-four. With these new C.Os, I don’t want to have any big orders coming in.” Kageyama sighed. “Be careful about it, too. They’ll be watching you a lot more closely than usual. I trust you know what to do.”

      “Of course. I’m not the Head Cook for nothing,” Yamamoto said, slapping a hand to his chest. Kageyama had noticed that all the cooks had a habit of chest-slapping. He’d also seen the towel-whipping that went on whenever they were in the back making meals. They were idiots, but _god were they good at making food_. If only they had even more ingredients to work with.

      With that said, Yamamoto walked away. Kageyama placed his bowl back onto his tray and looked down at his notebook. It was a beautiful notebook; leather cover and the word ‘Notebook’ written in golden cursive. He flicked it open to the first page and allowed himself to take a deep breath. Hinata had started the last notebook, so now he had to start the next one.

* * *

 

**Hey. So, this is part two. I’m guessing that the rules from the first notebook carry into the second, right? Yeah. Heh. I’m glad this thing finally arrived. Ennoshita spotted it and now he’s giving me one of his envious looks. He’s the director guy, in case you don’t know.**

**I’ve got a question. When you buy me my comb, can you make sure it’s narrow-toothed? I don’t like wide-tooth combs. My hair has to lie down as flat as possible.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

      Kageyama stood up from the table and walked over to the Johzenji table, where everyone was currently laughing about something. The sight made Kageyama feel like… _smiling_. Hinata was throwing his head back and laughter was bubbling out, the sound just as sweet as it had been when Kageyama heard it for the first time. It was so different to the Karasuno/Nekoma table, where everyone either argued or had their own little conversations. There were no complications here. Everyone was just relaxed; they were doing their time and enjoying the ride. Kageyama was beginning to understand why Hinata was so fond of them.

      “Hey, the King’s here. Stop laughing,” Bobata said, tugging on Hinata’s shoulder. The name made Kageyama’s jaw go tense, but he didn’t bother to react. It was what everyone referred to him as, not realising that Kageyama couldn’t stand to hear that _stupid_ nickname.

      “Hinata.” When Hinata heard his name rolling off Kageyama’s tongue, he instantly turned his head so that he was facing the dark-haired sniper. “The notebook came earlier than expected. Here.” He tossed it to Hinata, who caught it one-handed. “By the way, I notice you’ve got the hang of chopsticks.” He was looking at Hinata’s bowl of tamago gohan, which had been half-eaten. There were chopsticks sticking out of the bowl.

      “Yeah. Thanks.” Hinata grinned and put his thumb up over at Kageyama. “By the way, this notebook looks real nice. You always have to one-up me some way, don’t you?”

      “Shut up.” Kageyama walked away before Hinata could even retort, although the ace wasn’t surprised. He simply chuckled to himself as he opened up the notebook and read through Kageyama’s short entry. The rest of the Johzenji members had been watching the two interact, but now they wanted answers.

      “Hey! Why’d he give you a notebook?” Bobata was pulling on Hinata’s shoulder once again, intrigued by the sight of the notebook. “What does it say? Let me see—”

      “No. This is personal.” Hinata closed the notebook and shook his head at everyone.

      Terushima raised an eyebrow at the ace. “Say, are you two fucking?”

      “Hinata’s got AIDS, Terushima,” Higa reminded Terushima.

      “No, he only said that to get me off his back,” Terushima responded, bursting into laughter. “You think I didn’t catch that?”

      “Well, it got you off my back, didn’t it?”

      Terushima winked. “Any chance I could get back in?”

      “God, you’re such a flirt,” Futamata said, shaking his head at Terushima. “The only thing you need to get back in is the SHU.”

      “Oh, shut up Futamata. You’re acting like you don’t flirt with Bobata every chance you get,” Terushima said, giving the dark-haired Futamata a noogie. “Can you two just fuck already?”

      Bobata flushed bright red. “I have a girlfriend!”

      “And I have a mole on my left asscheek! Who cares?!”

      “Terushima, that’s way too far,” Tsuchiyu murmured. “We’re eating.”

      Hinata shook his head at his table’s antics, smiling to himself. He was so glad that he’d found a place where he could fit in at last. Johzenji, one of the most hated gangs in Fukurodani. And he’d found a place right there. Hinata wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing, but he was finally starting to feel at home in this big prison. Suddenly, fifteen years didn’t sound so far away.

* * *

 

**I’m not going to write too much, since I can feel Bobata reading over my shoulder. These guys are so nosy that it hurts. I can’t even take a piss without being asked something like ‘is it normal to piss orange?’ It’s mad.**

**And yes, I’ll make sure you get your desired comb. After all, we don’t want your hair to become picky like you are.**

**Question: How do you feel about yesterday? It’s really bugging me.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

 

      Hinata got up and rushed back over to the table, dropping the notebook in front of Kageyama. He had been staring blankly into space, but at Hinata’s arrival, he seemed to perk up a little.

      “Please, respond as quickly as you can or I’ll die,” Hinata said.

      “Just for that, I’ll take my time. You’ll get your response at lunch.”

      “Kageyama! So _mean_ ,” Hinata muttered, folding his arms at the sniper. “Treat me like that and I’ll put wax in your shampoo. You won’t have any use for a comb then, Bakageyama.”

      “You might want to be careful with your threats, Hinata.” Kageyama stood up and looked straight into Hinata’s eyes, although the smaller man didn’t seem to be intimidated. Kageyama’s tone had gone low, almost sensual. “I can be just as threatening.”

      “I’d like to see you try.” Hinata was holding his ground. Sure, he might’ve been smaller than the six foot sniper. But, he could be just as intimidating. The Karasuno/Nekoma table were watching the interaction, clearly interested by what was happening. The other tables were in their own conversations, but the sudden drop in conversations wasn’t missed.

      “Would you?” Kageyama’s lips pulled into a smirk, a smirk that made Hinata’s heart skip a beat. _Fuck_. He didn’t realise that this was flirting, but _this was flirting_.

      “Of course.”

      They were so close that they could’ve been kissing right now, but they weren’t. _Why weren’t they kissing yet? That’s all Hinata wants…_

      “Well, then. I’ll just have to go the extra mile, won’t I?” Kageyama still wasn’t backing down. “Let’s see how far you can stretch me. Hinata.”

      Hinata let out a slight gasp at the words. Upon realising that he’d allowed himself to get flustered by Kageyama, he internally slapped himself. _Damnit_. Kageyama, on the other hand, was looking quite pleased with himself. The two of them stood there for a few moments, simply looking at one another until Kuroo decided to make his debut.

      “Just fuck already!”

      Kageyama took a sharp step back from Hinata and glared down at Kuroo, who was smirking right back at him. “We’ll be doing no such thing.”

      Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Yeah. That’s why he slept in your room last night. Tsukki might’ve let it spill.” Kageyama could tell that Kuroo was _still_ paying him back for the time that he’d embarrassed Tsukishima. While Kuroo acted stupid sometimes, he was fiercely loyal to those he cared about. It was that quality which made him the leader of Nekoma. Maybe that was why Kuroo and Kageyama clashed so much. They were both leaders.

      Somehow, Kageyama was able to not blush at the revelation of the news. “Everyone was busy rioting. We both wanted to sleep,” he offered as explanation. Yeah, he _definitely_ wasn’t going to mention the fact that Hinata had kissed him.

      “Inmates! Sit down!” The asshole C.O. was watching the two of them with an angry look in his eyes. He was just _waiting_ for the chance to take Kageyama down. He didn’t care what the warden had said. Kageyama needed to be taken down, and he needed to be taken down _quick_.

      Hinata stepped back over to his table eventually, but not without looking back over at Kageyama a couple of times. Kageyama sank back down in his seat, feeling like his _brain_ was blushing rather than his cheeks. He drank a cup of water before looking up at the table. They _still_ hadn’t stopped staring at him.

      Yamaguchi cleared his throat. “Um… Kageyama… you _do_ realise you just made a sexual innuendo, right?”

      “When?”

      It was then that they all burst into laughter. They were all laughing so hard that even nearby tables began to laugh, despite not knowing what was funny. It was when the C.Os finally intervened and told the tables to “keep it down!” that everyone started to calm down their laughter at last. Kageyama was just blinking at everyone, genuinely unable to understand what he’d said wrong.

      “Let’s see how far you can stretch me,” Kuroo said, impersonating Kageyama’s voice. The scary thing was that it sounded near-perfect. “Come on, Mountain Boy. You really don’t see it?”

      “Yes. I was referring to miles. What’s the problem?”

      Tsukishima shook his head at Kageyama. “I’m starting to understand you more as the days pass.” Tsukishima felt slightly relieved that Kageyama probably hadn’t blown him off on purpose. He was just so painfully oblivious that it hurt to watch.

      Kuroo turned his attention to Suga, who was sipping on his cup of water. “Suga, didn’t you ever give Mountain Boy the sex talk?”

      “I tried. He wanted nothing to do with it.”

      “Say, Kageyama. Do you even know what a dick is?” Kuroo was just kidding, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if Kageyama didn’t know. Maybe Kageyama was secretly an alien who didn’t possess any sort of _organ_ down below. It would explain how he was so clueless about all things sexual, even after having spent years being friends with Suga.

      Kageyama flushed bright red. “We’re at the breakfast table!”

      “I don’t see anyone eating.” Kuroo’s eyes scanned the empty bowls and trays on the table. At this point, everyone was just watching Kageyama’s end of the table, since there were some pretty interesting conversations happening down there. “Yup. So tell me. Do you know?”

      “I’m not an idiot, Kuroo. Yes. It’s an English dessert.”

      “Oh, dessert’s one word for it,” Kuroo said, that signature smirk appearing on his face. “If you asked Tsukki, he’d describe it as a _phallus_. Right?”

      “Of course.” Tsukishima was also smirking. “A phallus, often referred to colloquially as a dick, dong, snake, cock or slocker. It is an organ that most males possess, and it has the ability to harden or soften depending on the male’s mood.”

      “Jesus Christ, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s eyes widened. “Did you swallow a dictionary?”

      “No. I swallowed his dick,” Tsukishima responded nonchalantly, pointing at Kuroo. “Well, not literally, but…”

      “Oh my God.” Ennoshita was scribbling down notes in his notebook. “You two are canon. I saw this coming! The plotline saw it coming!”

      “Say, Ennoshita.” Kuroo smirked. “Who’s the next canon couple?”

      “Well, I was gunning for a polyamorous relationship with Kageyama, Kunimi and Kindaichi so that I could call them the three K’s, but…”

      At the sound of that, everyone’s heads turned sharply to give Ennoshita a look of disbelief. “Ehh?”

      “Ennoshita. You do realise that _the three k’s_ are the KKK? Ku Klux Klan? A white supremacist group?” Tsukishima’s tone was as crisp as ever. “You know… _racists_?”

      “I don’t recall.” Ennoshita crossed out a couple of things in his notebook. “Okay, okay. I know that wouldn’t work. I was also hoping for Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. What happened there, you two? It was practically inevitable. Yamaguchi, the right-hand man to Japan’s biggest sadist, Tsukishima. Come on! Why is nobody following my plotlines?!”

      “I’m not gay,” Yamaguchi pointed out. “And I have a son…”

      “But the plot!” Ennoshita looked like he would burst into tears any second. “The plot, guys!”

      “He’s my best friend,” Tsukishima said. “That’s just creepy.”

      “But the plot!”

      “There’s literally no sexual attraction there, though? I mean, Kuroo and Tsukishima have been flirting for _how long_ now?” Suga was beginning to put his two cents into the conversation. “If anything, we all saw KuroTsukki coming. You’re the director, Ennoshita. You should know better than anyone else.”

      “Fine. Whatever.” Ennoshita looked pissed, but he was still determined to get out one successful pair. “I was gunning for Kenma and Yamaguchi, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen either… um… I was thinking me and Nishinoya—”

      The whole table let out a collective “What?”

      “Okay. So, that’s a no too.” Ennoshita crossed that out on his list. “God, you’re all such downers. Um… next, I’ve got Kageyama and Sugawara—”

      “Chikara, bad idea. They’re still not talking,” Kinoshita hissed, nudging the director in his ribs. “Man, how stupid can you _get_?”

      “You’re the stupid one, Kusoshita!” Ennoshita was beginning to look like a fire-breathing dragon, considering how heavily he was breathing in and out. All he needed was the smoke and he’d be complete. _Maybe he should borrow some from Kageyama_. “Anyway, anyway. Here’s a good one. Hinata…”

      Everyone was willing him to say _and Kageyama_. But they knew Ennoshita well enough to know that things were never that black-and-white with him.

      “…and Kinoshita.” There was a collective face-palm around the table, complete with expressions of _‘the-holy-ghost-just-left-my-body’_.

      “Are you stupid? I’ve never even spoken to him!” Kinoshita took the notepad out of Ennoshita’s hand and flicked through the pages, his expression becoming one of disgust. “What the hell is going on in your brain? Nobody knows who I am, _everyone_ knows who he is. You know. _Hinata Shouyou, from the concrete_ ,” he added, trying to mimic Hinata’s voice. He failed miserably.

      “Exactly! It’s the perfect plot! The popular boy meets the shy boy, who nobody knows. Together, they discover that they’re perfect for one another, embarking on wild prison rides together. Sharing razors, getting prison tattoos of one another…”

      Kinoshita sighed. “Guys, can we kick him out of Karasuno?”

      Kuroo nodded. “I second that.”

      Ennoshita slapped both of his hands to his cheeks in frustration. “Kuroo, you’re not even _in_ Karasuno! And don’t kick me out!”

      “If I marry Tsukki, then I will be,” Kuroo responded. “Plus, I’ve been putting up with you fuckers from day one. Nekoma might as well be an _extension_ of Karasuno.” Tsukishima went bright red and punched Kuroo on the shoulder.

      “Don’t talk about marriage so lightly,” Tsukishima scolded. “You think it’s that easy to put a ring on my finger?”

      “Well, it was easy to put a ring on your you-know-where…”

      “Kuroo…” Tsukishima was blushing even harder.

      “Okay, okay.” Kuroo nuzzled up to Tsukishima, letting his lips stop within a hair’s width of Tsukishima’s. “Sorry.” They would’ve kissed if the asshole C.O. hadn’t ‘accidentally’ bumped the table, causing the two to bump heads instead.

      “Jee, sorry about that,” C.O. Towada said, even though his face _clearly_ showed that he was insincere. “Although, I should remind you. PDA will get you three shots each.”

      “Tsukishima, you got any shots?”

      “No. You?”

      “I got one.”

      “Alright.” The two of them kissed then and there, partly because they’d been wanting to kiss each other for some time now but mainly because they wanted to spite the asshole C.O. that was watching with disdain in his eyes. Kuroo loved the way Tsukishima would trace along the line of his jaw with his hands while deepening the kiss. He loved how Tsukishima managed to take control, even when Kuroo was usually the one who led things. He loved Tsukishima. He loved him _so much it hurt_.

      When they pulled away, they saw that Towada was writing shots down in his shot book.

      “That felt good,” Kuroo said, smirking over at Towada. “Hey. Don’t break your fingers trying to write those shots down so quickly, _Tokkun_.”

      “The name’s _Towada_ ,” the C.O. responded, an even darker look on his face.

      “Kuroo, don’t get yourself thrown in the SHU trying to impress me.” Tsukishima flicked Kuroo’s nose. “Alright, Towada. Move along. Nothing else to see here.”

      The C.O. growled, but he walked away from the table. He’d get his revenge on all of those Karasuno and Nekoma people later. He _would_. No matter if it cost his job. Nobody wronged Towada and got away with it. _Nobody_.

      “God, there’s so many stupid pairings in here,” Kinoshita said, flicking through Ennoshita’s notebook. “And what the fuck is this. Kageyama and _Oikawa_? He’s a counsellor, for fuck’s sake.”

      Ennoshita sighed. “Yeah, but they’re both arrogant as hell.”

      Kageyama’s glare appeared at the word _arrogant_. “Arrogant? Is that what you think of me?”

      Ennoshita sighed. “Man, I know being scary is your whole trademark, but give it a rest. It’s not even nine a.m. yet.”

      “I am not _scary_.” Kageyama took a swig of his water before continuing to speak. “I am Kageyama Tobio.”

      “See? Arrogant!” Ennoshita put his hands up in front of him. Then, he turned them so that his palms were facing the sky before slamming them down on the table. “I don’t think there’s a single person in this room who doesn’t know who you are.”

      Kageyama turned his attention to Kinoshita, who looked like he was ready to stab Ennoshita with the chopsticks in his hands. “Kinoshita. I agree with kicking him out.”

      “Hey, come on Kageyama! Don’t be like that!” Ennoshita frowned. “Why does nobody love me?”

      “Because you make the stupidest fucking pairings ever! You and _Nishinoya_? Kenma and _Warden_? You don’t even know what the warden _looks like_! Oh God, this takes the cake. You and _me_?”

      “Actually, that one doesn’t sound so ridiculous,” Kuroo said. “It’s the most reasonable one. At least, out of all the ones he’s said so far.”

      “I second that,” Tsukishima said. “It’s better than Kenma and Warden.”

      “I third that,” Kageyama said.

      “I fourth that,” Suga said.

      Kinoshita sighed. “That’s not a thing…”

      “I fifth that,” Kenma quietly added.

      “You’re all assholes.” Kinoshita handed Ennoshita the notebook before slamming his head down onto the breakfast table. “I’m going to die. Wake me up when breakfast’s over.”

      “You’re all so mean,” Ennoshita whined. “I’m not reading out any more pairings.”

      “No! I want to hear more,” Suga insisted. “They’re interesting.”

      “ _No_ ,” everyone else snapped collectively. “No more!”

      “As it was said, it shall be done,” Ennoshita said, slamming the notebook shut. “And alas! The future pairings are sealed away, only available to thine eye for the price of three ramen packets and—”

      Once again, the table spoke collectively. “Shut up!”

      Ennoshita sighed. “You’re all so mean.”


	37. I'll Destroy You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama isn't letting anyone mess with Hinata. Nobody.

**Well, about yesterday. I assume you’re referring to the time you kissed me. I told you already, didn’t I? I can’t love you, if that’s what you want from me.**

**If you’re talking about the riot, I feel indifferent about it. I got Tanaka and Nishinoya out of the SHU, so all’s well that ends well. My hair isn’t picky. I’m not picky. Don’t be mean.**

**By the way… do you like me? I’ve been wondering for some time.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      As promised, it was lunchtime when Kageyama delivered the notepad to Hinata as he made his way off the garden and into the cafeteria. Hinata opened it up straightaway and read through what Kageyama had written. Hinata’s hand was poised at the next blank page, already prepared to scribble down a response for the sniper.

 

**Kageyama. I’m not asking you to love me. I’m asking you to decide what you feel about me. You really confuse me, do you know that? I never know how to feel when it comes to you.**

**Also… it really took you this long to realise? Yes. I do like you. A lot. I wasn’t sure if I did at first, but… you make me feel different. In ways that I like. You’re moody and unpredictable, and you can be scary when you’re mad. But I get the feeling that you wouldn’t hurt me. I mean, after seeing what you did to Kindaichi and Kunimi… I know that for sure. I like you, Kageyama.**

**I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you to kiss me.**

**I’m going to regret writing that sentence down later, I bet. But we’re meant to be honest in this thing, right? So… yeah.**

**When’s your birthday?**

**-Hinata**

 

      Hinata felt like his brain was going to melt any minute. Kageyama had flirted with him like _that_ in front of the entire cafeteria, but he was still talking like this? How come Kageyama was so… _clueless_? It didn’t make sense. It just _didn’t make sense_. Kageyama spent his time around people like Kuroo. He should be adept when it comes to romance. But he just didn’t know, did he?

      Hinata slapped his hands to his face before walking into the cafeteria. His eyes went straight to the Karasuno table. Kageyama was sitting in his usual spot, eating his lunch. _Wait. He’s eating_. Hinata stared for a few moments, realising that Kageyama seemed to have regained his appetite at last. Looking at the tray itself, he saw that there was a bowl of rice, some sushi and a plate of cooked pork. _Yum_ …

      “The line’s moving.” Hinata turned to see that Kenma was standing next to him, blinking at the orange-haired ace.

      “Oh. Sorry.” Hinata moved up and got his tray of food. He’d been expecting to get a bowl of rice and sushi, but today he was given a plate of cooked pork as well, glazed with some delicious-looking sauce. His eyes widened at the sight of the tray. It was the exact same thing that Nekoma and Karasuno would eat.

      “Thanks,” Nishinoya said, nodding his head at Hinata. “You’re the reason he’s eating again. You should feel proud.”

      “T…Thank you!”

      Nishinoya simply chuckled and moved to serve the next guy in line, Kenma. Hinata held his tray in his hands, grinning as he headed over to the Karasuno/Nekoma table. He was going to sit with the Johzenji, but he wanted to give Kageyama the notepad first. Kageyama turned to face Hinata, who was holding out the notepad. He took it without a word, nodded and turned back to his tray of food. Hinata walked over to his table, thankfully without incident.

      “Hey! Man, is that _pork_?” Higa’s eyes widened at the sight of fresh, seasoned meat on Hinata’s tray. “Jesus Christ, that smells good…”

      “Right?” Hinata got his chopsticks and placed one chunk of meat each onto everyone’s plates, grinning widely once he’d finished. “All of you can enjoy it with me. Let’s go!”

      “Man, I love this guy,” Terushima said. He was the first to eat his chunk of meat. “Whoever put you in our dorm, I love them. And I _love_ this meat.”

      Futamata laughed. “Terushima, you just love meat, full stop.”

      “Yes. No matter the size, shape or type.” The mood at the table seemed even brighter than usual. The happier Johzenji was, the more sexual their puns became. Although, Hinata was beginning to learn a lot about sex from these guys. In their ‘pass the blunt’ circle, they often exchanged tips on how to make a kiss better and the best ways to extend a relationship. They were like _relationship gurus_. And of course, they wouldn’t stop hinting at the idea of Hinata getting with the ‘king of the prison’, Kageyama.

      Meanwhile, Kageyama had currently gone bright red upon reading what Hinata had written. _I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you to kiss me_. Kageyama wasn’t sure how to respond. He _couldn’t_. He just kept thinking ‘dumbass’ over and over again. While they were meant to be honest, that was _way too honest_. Ah. He can’t stop blushing. He looked like he’d just dyed his cheeks the colour of Hinata’s hair.

      “What, did he just draw a picture of his dick?” Kuroo joked. Kageyama looked up at Kuroo, shook his head at him and looked back down at the notebook. Kuroo was shocked. Usually, Kageyama would go to great lengths to deny it verbally, but the man genuinely couldn’t speak right now. He had a lump in his throat. _Oh God. How does he respond? What does he say?_ It’s like he’s a teenager going through the relationship phase he never got to have. He wished that he hadn’t fallen out with Suga. Maybe then, the kinkster might have been able to offer his advice.

* * *

**Well… I think you’re cute, I guess. But you’re being way too honest. You can’t just say things like THAT, dumbass. Kuroo keeps making jokes because I’m blushing. Thanks for that, Hinata. (Before you write an essay asking me whether that thanks was sarcastic or not, yes. It was.)**

**I want to protect you. After all, what kind of man would allow the sun to stop shining? If anything, I should be helping you to shine even brighter. It’s the only thing that’ll stop me from losing my mind in this place.**

      “Aww! God, Kageyama. You’re such a _romantic_ ,” Ennoshita crooned. The director had crept up behind Kageyama and read the words to himself in his head as he’d been writing. At the sound of Ennoshita’s voice, Kageyama flushed even deeper and slammed the notebook shut. He swung himself around on his chair so that he was facing Ennoshita.

      “Ennoshita. Don’t read over my shoulder like that.”

      “Why not? It’s cute—”

      “Chikara,” Kinoshita warned. “Stop it.” He was crossing his arms in a _stop-being-an-idiot_ gesture. The rest of the table were wearing similar looks. They’d all realised that Kageyama’s notes to Hinata seemed to make him look a little happier, so they’d left him to it. But the idiot director was about to shake it up just so that he’d have a new plotline to write about. It wasn’t uncommon for Ennoshita to irritate people just so that they could give him some inspiration for a plotline. However, Kageyama was definitely the wrong person to irritate.

      “But it’s cute. Come on. He called Hinata the sun—” Kageyama’s foot swung out, hitting Ennoshita in the knees. Ennoshita was so shocked by the sudden action that he fell to his knees, unable to move.

      “You can write your plots about whoever the fuck you like. But keep Hinata’s name out of that damn notebook of yours or I’ll destroy you.” Kageyama’s eyes were deep, calculating.

      “Hey, don’t be so…” Ennoshita drifted off when he realised that Kageyama wasn’t kidding.

      “Suddenly, I’m not so sure if we need a director in Karasuno anymore.” Kageyama’s jaw was tense. He didn’t like the idea of Ennoshita writing plotlines about Hinata. He’d seen some of the stuff that Ennoshita could come up with, and it really wasn’t pretty.

      “I was just admiring your writing skills.”

      “Those words are for Hinata to read, and Hinata only. You will not intrude on our words. Now, get up. Sit down. And stay in your seat. If I see you reading over my shoulder again, I’ll make sure you never write another plotline in your life.”

      Ennoshita nodded and got to his feet. He was shaking a lot, even after trying to make himself sound like he wasn’t scared. Nobody could _not_ be scared of Kageyama when they were on the receiving end of his wrath. While Kageyama might’ve seemed like an asshole to some, it all came down to the fact that Kageyama was possessive over things that he liked. It just so happened that he liked Hinata.

      Kageyama flipped the notebook open again and retrieved his pen from the table, penning down one last thing.

* * *

**My birthday’s on Dec 22 nd. A long time away from now, I suppose. When’s yours?**

**-Kageyama**

      He shut the notebook and got up. He walked over to Hinata, dropped the notebook in front of him and walked the long distance back over to his table. Their tables were far enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear one another.

      Hinata opened the notebook and flicked to the most recent page. When he saw that Kageyama had written, he could feel himself beginning to blush. _Idiot. How can he get annoyed about Hinata’s soppiness but then call him cute? Idiot_. Hinata had never found himself so _frustrated_ before.

* * *

**Kageyama.**

**We’re like night and day.**

**You don’t get the moon without the sun, the darkness without the light.**

**But, maybe it’s because of that we can’t mesh together so well. You know, it’s not often that you see the moon and the sun together. They call it an eclipse. It only happens once every couple of years. What if us meeting was an eclipse, Kageyama? Eclipses don’t make much sense. But they’re nice to look at and they fascinate people. The longer you observe them, the more sense they seem to make. I’m starting to understand my feelings for you. And don’t you dare get mad at me for being honest. Maybe you should be more honest with yourself. *-***

**My birthday’s June 21 st, AKA the best day ever. June’s coming up, actually. So, maybe you should get me something? Wink wink? (I’d love meat buns. They’re my favourite.)**

**-Hinata**

 

      Hinata felt a little embarrassed by what he’d written, but he was being honest. He knew Kageyama wouldn’t judge him for his feelings. If anything, Kageyama would value this. They were both learning how to be honest with one another. Hinata had never been able to be honest with the people in his life; Kageyama had never been able to be honest with himself. But Hinata could be honest with himself; Kageyama could be honest with everyone around him. They were as opposite as the word itself suggested. They were an eclipse.

      Hinata stood up and walked towards Kageyama’s table. His legs felt like jelly. _It’s not too late to go and rip this page out_ , Hinata thought. It was true. He could throw the page away and act like it didn’t exist. But he was already handing the notebook to Kageyama, who was looking up at Hinata with an earnest look on his face.

      “You know, we might as well sit together if we’re going to be passing notes all lunch,” Kageyama said. “There’s an empty seat by me.”

      Hinata’s heart was singing with joy, _oh god he wants me to sit next to him_ , but then he remembered that Karasuno and Nekoma hated him. _Wait, what?_ They were all looking at him, but there was none of that hostility that he’d seen when he first arrived. Some looked unbothered while some were smiling. _Especially_ Suga. It looked like they’d warmed up to him a little now. _Did Kageyama say something?_

      “Well?” Kageyama was still looking up at him.

      “Oh… um… I shouldn’t. I know how you like to read over my shoulder,” Hinata teased. That wasn’t the true reason, though. He was starting to get so nervous around Kageyama that he couldn’t even think straight.

      “Oh. Okay. Well, the seat’s free if you ever want to.” Hinata nodded before practically sprinting away. He’d somehow managed to avoid blushing until he’d gotten a good distance away from the table. Hinata was wondering when his blood vessels would _stop making him blush_. It was ridiculous. He never used to get flushed cheeks like this because of a _person_. It would always be because of volleyball. Kageyama seemed to have the volleyball effect on him.

      Kageyama read through Hinata’s entry. He would’ve blushed, but it looked like his cheeks had finally gotten tired. They remained at their default pink flush. He often tended to have life in his cheeks now. Maybe it was because he’d started eating again. He did sometimes feel the urge to throw it all back up, but after a smoke, the urge usually went away. The idea of Hinata being disappointed in Kageyama scared him a lot more than the idea of eating food. Besides, he wanted to be able to keep up with Hinata. He wasn’t going to let the ace leave him in the dust.

* * *

**God, you’re so cheesy. An ‘eclipse’. But I see you’re being serious. I don’t know what to say. Is this really the kind of thing we discuss on paper? Then again, I don’t think I could say all this in person. That’s embarrassing. But, I didn’t think that I could say that I liked you when I first met you. I proved myself wrong there. Actually, I should probably confess something. You have a nice butt. It’s round and… I don’t know. It somewhat pleases me. I noticed in the shower room (so don’t call me a pervert. You should’ve stayed in your stall, dumbass.)**

**I’ll keep your birthday in mind. I’m fond of the month June. You share the same month as my mother.**

**-Kageyama**

* * *

 

      This had to be one of the most embarrassing conversations Kageyama had ever had. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how much more embarrassing it would be if they were talking face-to-face. Kageyama could act like he wasn’t affected by the whole ordeal on paper, but Hinata could read him like a book.

      Kageyama had decided that he wouldn’t pass the notebook back until dinnertime. He couldn’t let this conversation continue, not yet. He needed to _think_. He wasn’t sure what he felt for Hinata. He wasn’t sure what to call it. Kageyama would’ve been lying if he said he hadn’t imagined what his first kiss would be like, but he’d never actually _imagined_ it. When Tsukishima had kissed him, he hadn’t reacted. When Hinata had kissed him, he hadn’t reacted. Why couldn’t he react? He didn’t understand. With Tsukishima, he’d at least been able to say something but Hinata had left him damn near speechless for a couple of minutes. Both men had been wearing disappointed looks on their faces when they saw that Kageyama wasn’t reacting. He didn’t know how to explain that he wasn’t sure how to react. It wasn’t them. It was him.

      He was broken. He just couldn’t react to things. He’d spent his whole life suppressing his emotions, so now that people were expecting him to wear his heart on his sleeve, he _couldn’t_. But in this notebook, he could try. He could try and tell the truth to the volleyball ace. He could say what he felt and leave it to Hinata to try and tell Kageyama what he was feeling. When it came to that, Kageyama trusted Hinata one-hundred percent. Hinata wouldn’t lie. He would only tell Kageyama what he saw, and nothing else.


	38. When Lovers Become Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FORR!!!  
> (or at least I hope it is. what do y'all want from me)

      Hinata was a little worried that Kageyama hadn’t responded to him yet. He was wondering whether he’d been too forward. He’d tried to be a little light-hearted by mentioning his favourite food, but he wasn’t sure if that would be enough. That was why he wasn’t listening to Yachi as she spoke to him.

      “Shouyou. _Shouyou_.”

      Hinata blinked. _Oh, right_. It was that blonde woman, his fiancée. She was still wearing their engagement ring.

      “Hitoka.”

      “Yes? What is it?”

      Hinata let out a deep sigh. “I don’t think this is working.”

      “This phone thing?” She held up the phone, which had previously been resting against her ear. She tapped it with her fingers before placing it back at her ear, a smile on her face. “Yeah, I know. It’s a little rattly, isn’t it?”

      “No. This relationship. We don’t love each other anymore.” Hinata’s tone was a lot colder than Yachi remembered. The other inmates would’ve seen it as standard ol’ Hinata, but Yachi knew a happier version of Hinata. That version had died the second he stepped off the ground and through those prison doors.

      “W…What do you mean? Of course we do!”

      Hinata raised an eyebrow at Yachi through the thin piece of glass. “Cut the bullshit. I can see the hickey on your neck. Is Akiteru treating you well, Hitoka?”

      Yachi flushed a bright red. “Shouyou… you’re in here for fifteen years. Surely you don’t blame me for…”

      “No, it’s cool. Although, since I bought the engagement rings, I’d like them back. I’ll make plans to get my stuff placed somewhere else at a later date,” Hinata explained. “It was nice knowing you, Yachi. Anything else you want to say? I’ll be taking you off my visitation list after today.” Hinata wasn’t going to lie, it hurt. He’d known Yachi ever since his college years. But at the same time, he’d seen it coming. He knew that they wouldn’t last. They got along well, but they got along _too well_. They’d never had any arguments; never disagreed over anything. He and Kageyama argued more than was healthy, but the sniper kept him on his toes. He liked that. He needed that.

      It made it easier to ignore the slight twinge of pain he felt when Yachi started crying. She’d always been a really emotional person.

      “I’m sorry, Shouyou.”

      “Don’t be.” Hinata smiled. “I think coming here might’ve not been so bad.” Yachi was shocked when he saw that Hinata was _smiling_. “Plus, we’re too different now. We only work when we’re the same.”

      “I… I guess.”

      “Well, if that’s all…”

      “Wait.” Yachi let out a deep breath. “Wait.”

      “I’m waiting.”

      “How can you be smiling in a place like this? I mean, come on. Muddy brown prison clothes? They’re so _unflattering_. And do they give you razors? Your face looks a little stubbly.”

      “That’s really your question?” Hinata laughed. “If anything, you should be asking why you’re so close-minded.”

      Yachi seemed visibly hurt by Hinata’s thoughtless insult. “Shouyou…”

      “Only able to see what’s on the surface, but you don’t think to ask about what’s underneath. That’s what drew you to me, right? You got angry because I didn’t tell you about my past, but you never asked. Not once. We got along since we both liked volleyball and took the same course, but we were never able to sympathise with each other’s pasts. You didn’t even know that I was bisexual, did you?”

      “You’re bisexual?” Yachi seemed shocked, but to Hinata’s relief, she didn’t seem disgusted. But even if she _had_ , Hinata wouldn’t have cared. He’d gotten used to his sexuality long ago.

      “Born and raised,” Hinata responded. “See? That’s something all of my friends know. My family know. How don’t you? I’m pretty sure I would’ve mentioned it to you.” Hinata knew he did. It was one of the first things he’d said when they first started officially dating. But, maybe Yachi had just tuned that part out. He wasn’t sure.

      “You’ve made your point. We weren’t right as a couple. Friends, yes. But not couple. Wait, you’re not mad that I’m with Akiteru?”

      “No. Although, what’s his family name again?”

      “Tsukishima.”

      Hinata chuckled to himself. _Of course_. “You know about his famous brother? Tsukishima Kei?”

      “Who?”

      “Ah, nobody. Only the guy who’s responsible for this century’s most gory deaths ever seen. His body count’s close to a hundred. Man, some people have some really interesting stories in this place. I heard one story about this guy who used to steal coconuts from the kitchen, carve holes into them and fuck them. Then, he got maggots on his dick a couple of days later and he had to go to medical ‘cause some of them had tried to crawl down his urethra.” Hinata burst into laughter, but Yachi was sitting there, unable to recognise the man sitting in front of him. This wasn’t Hinata. Hinata didn’t swear. Hinata didn’t find amusement in gory things like this. Who is this man and why is he claiming to be Hinata? This isn’t the man Yachi loved. This is just another felon, another hardened criminal receiving retribution.

      Maybe it’s right if they stop talking to each other. They’ve stopped being able to relate to one another. Who would’ve guessed that a piece of glass so thin could separate the couple so far away from one another? When Yachi slipped off her engagement ring and put it into her pocket, that was when Hinata knew that it was over.

      “Well… I should probably start making my way home. Traffic will be horrendous at this time,” Yachi eventually managed to say.

      “Yeah.” Hinata nodded. “Get home safely.”

      “Yeah.” Yachi put the phone down, got up and walked away from Hinata. It was then that the asshole C.O., Towada, came over to escort him back to his dorm.

      Meanwhile, Suga was talking to Keishin. Keishin looked just as fresh as usual and Suga seemed happy enough to be talking to the blonde. They were discussing all of the nice countries in the world they could go to once Suga got out.

      Tsuchiyu was talking to his girlfriend, Akiko.

      And Yamaguchi was talking to his girlfriend, Mai. And of course, his son. Kaname. Kaname looked more like Mai when it came to facial features — in fact, he looked nothing like Yamaguchi — but he’d been lucky enough to inherit Yamaguchi’s eye for detail. Mai often brought in Kaname’s drawings to show Yamaguchi, who was more than happy to stare at them. The six-year-old boy was a talented artist, that was for sure. If only he could reach out through the glass and hold those drawings in his hands; hold _Kaname_ in his hands.

      It was cruel what the prison did. They gave the inmates a thin sheet of glass to look at the outside from, but they wouldn’t let the inmates reach out. It was like they were reminding the inmates that no matter how hard they tried, they’d never be able to get back to the outside version of themselves once they were the ones sitting behind that glass.

      “I love you, Akiko,” Tsuchiyu could be heard saying. “I’ll be out soon. I promise. I love you.”

      Yamaguchi could be heard saying similar words. “I’ll get out of here, even if it kills me. And when I get out, I’ll be the father I never got to be. I promise you, Kaname.”

      And of course, Suga was blubbering once again as he talked to Ukai. Visitation often felt quite sad. There was always some crying, some “I love yous” and the ‘touching-hands-through-the-window’ tradition. If only they’d get rid of those windows and let them kiss, already. Akiko and Tsuchiyu. Yamaguchi and Mai. Suga and Keishin. Get rid of the window; let them see one another. Let them touch one another. Let them _be_ with one another. Even if it’s for a few minutes, a single minute, a single _second_. Just let them feel like they’re human.

      But then, Hinata would make it back to his dorm at last and remember. He’d look down at the futons on the ground, think back to the bunk beds in the newcomer’s dorm and then to the proper-looking beds in the King’s Palace. They weren’t human. They were never considered to be human. They were just cattle; cattle that belonged to the warden.

      Hinata hated that. He really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "coconut story" that Hinata mentions while talking to Yachi is actually based off a true story. I got it off Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/)


	39. I'll Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love was never meant to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case any of you forgot what Kageyama's last note to Hinata was, I'll put it here:
> 
> God, you’re so cheesy. An ‘eclipse’. But I see you’re being serious. I don’t know what to say. Is this really the kind of thing we discuss on paper? Then again, I don’t think I could say all this in person. That’s embarrassing. But, I didn’t think that I could say that I liked you when I first met you. I proved myself wrong there. Actually, I should probably confess something. You have a nice butt. It’s round and… I don’t know. It somewhat pleases me. I noticed in the shower room (so don’t call me a pervert. You should’ve stayed in your stall, dumbass.)  
> I’ll keep your birthday in mind. I’m fond of the month June. You share the same month as my mother.  
> -Kageyama

      “Hello to you too.” Kageyama nodded his head at Hinata, who had been secretly watching him from behind a shed. It amused Kageyama that the ace genuinely thought that he could escape Kageyama’s sight when he had hair that bright; hair that shone even brighter in the sun like it was now.

      “Hey.” Hinata looked slightly flustered since his cover had been broken, but he stepped forward from the shed he’d been hiding behind and went to stand nearby Kageyama. Predictably enough, the sniper was smoking one of his menthol cigarettes.

      “You had visitation, right? How was it, seeing your fiancée?”

      “I broke off the engagement.”

      At this, Kageyama’s head turned sharply to face Hinata. “What?”

      “I broke it off.” Hinata grinned. “It wasn’t working out, so… yeah!”

      “You’re an idiot.” Kageyama simply shook his head at Hinata, although the sniper was amused. Hinata never failed to interest Kageyama. “You missed your chance at a wedding.”

      “Maybe. But weddings aren’t always the end goal of a relationship. You can love someone with all your heart without being married. It’s just a label that people somehow seem to value above any other label when it comes to relationships,” Hinata explained. “My parents never got married. They love each other more than anyone I know.”

      Kageyama blew out some smoke. “Fair point.”

      “Anyway, Bakageyama. When the hell are you going to give me the notebook?”

      “Soon.”

      “When’s soon?! I want it now!”

      Kageyama chuckled. “Come on, have some patience.”

      Hinata frowned. “But Kageyama. I need to know how you feel. I can’t wait any longer, otherwise I think I’ll die.”

      “You talk about dying all the time,” Kageyama pointed out crisply. “ _Oh no, I dropped my pen. I’m going to die. Oh no, it looks cold today. I’m going to die. Oh no, Kageyama just touched me. I’m going to die_.”

      “Hey! That first one is _not_ true!”

      “But the last one is?” Kageyama was smirking at Hinata once again. He loved watching the ace get flustered. It had taken Kageyama a while to figure it out, but this must be flirting. It was like what Tsukishima and Kuroo had spent _months_ doing. It was weird, though. Kageyama was really good at flirting, but he’d never actually realised it until now.

      “Shut up. Give me the notebook.”

      Kageyama pondered over it for a few moments. He took a long drag of his cigarette, let the smoke wander out through his parted lips. Then, he turned to face Hinata, his face alight with excitement. “If you say you’ll sit by me at lunch tomorrow.”

      Hinata was taken aback by how excited Kageyama looked. The only other time Kageyama had ever looked so joyous was when he’d been talking about life on the outside, with his rifles and pistols. He couldn’t refuse Kageyama when he looked so _happy_. Even if he wasn’t smiling, he looked _happy_.

      “Fine. But don’t be so _teasing_ towards me. That Towada asshole guy might give us three shots,” Hinata reminded Kageyama.

      “No, he’s not allowed to give me shots. He’s not allowed to send my people to the SHU unless I agree to it. I consider you to be mine.” When that last sentence left Kageyama’s lips, Hinata could’ve sworn that his heart kind of just stopped beating… his heart was making heart eyes. Hinata didn’t know how he knew that, but he did. He also felt like Kageyama could see right through him, with those piercing blue eyes of his. They’d been so lifeless when Hinata first met him, but now they were so intense that Hinata couldn’t focus.

      “Ever since what happened, I’ve been given a lot more power over what happens,” Kageyama continued to explain. “I don’t want a repeat, after all.” The two of them didn’t need to say his name to know who Kageyama was referring to. The backbone of Karasuno _and_ the prison. That was him.

      “Oh. But still… don’t be _you_.”

      Kageyama chuckled. “Yeah, alright.” He pulled the notebook out of his pocket and handed it over to Hinata. Hinata grabbed it, but Kageyama wasn’t letting go of it.

      “Hey, hand it over then.”

      “Hinata. I… I was quite honest in this entry. So, don’t laugh or anything…”

      “Don’t be stupid. I told you that I wanted you to kiss me, for God’s sake. I don’t think you could’ve said anything more personal than that…” Hinata could feel himself blushing. _Idiot. You’re not meant to say it out loud_. Kageyama also seemed quite awkward.

      Kageyama cleared his throat. “Um… I guess.” He let the notebook go at last. Hinata stared at the leather cover. Then at the _Notebook_ , written in cursive gold letters. Lowercase. It was situated slightly above the middle of the cover, aligned right in the centre. The leather was a soft brown which felt good in Hinata’s hands. He was focusing on that as he opened the pages, flicked to Kageyama’s most recent entry. He read it as carefully as he could, making sure he didn’t miss a word. He didn’t want to forget anything the sniper was telling him. He wanted to remember every last word of it.

      When he finally finished reading through the entry, he looked up at Kageyama. He was avoiding eye contact with Hinata, blowing his cigarette smoke in the other direction. _Alright_. Hinata scribbled down a response, trying to ignore how rapidly his heartbeat was beginning to race.

* * *

**I really don’t mind you checking me out. Also, you’re right. We should be saying stuff like this in person. But look how embarrassed we both are. We’d chicken out if we even TRIED to cross the barrier from paper to lips. What is it with us and only being able to put down our true feelings on paper?**

**We’re weird, too weird. Really. But… I’ll tell you how I feel right now. My palms feel a little sweaty, kind of like they do after I spike a volleyball really good. My heart won’t stop racing. It’s like I just ran twenty laps around the track and I get the feeling like I can keep going, but if I do, I’ll pass out.**

**And I keep looking at you while I’m writing this. You’re completely facing away from me, so you probably can’t tell. Or maybe you can, who knows? But… you’re affecting me in ways I never knew were possible, Kageyama.**

**I feel like I’ve lost. That fleeting sensation of disappointment I get when I try my hardest, but it’s not enough to beat the team in front of me. It makes me think. Did I not train hard enough? Should I have gone for a slice rather than a straight? What should I have done?**

**I know what I should’ve done here. I should’ve stayed away from you before I had a chance to start falling in love with you. But now, here I am.**

**I love you, Kageyama Tobio.**

**-Hinata**

 

      “You’re crying.”

      Hinata slid down to the ground, putting the notebook down to one side as he clutched his face with his hands. He was covering his eyes, trying to contain his tears.

      “Oi. Hinata.” Kageyama forced his hands away, revealing those same golden eyes to him. Hinata’s eyes were laced with regret, _such regret_. Kageyama wanted to know what he’d written. He needed to know. “Here. It’s a flooru. Oikawa told you about those, right? Oikawa Tooru… flower… flooru… you know.”

      Hinata nodded, tried to gulp down the lump in his throat. He took the flooru out of Kageyama’s hand and wiped his tears away, holding Kageyama’s gaze the entire time. It _hurt_. He knew that when Kageyama read his confession, he’d close off the same way he had after Hinata had kissed him. It would hurt him so bad and there was nothing that he could do to protect himself. He’d bared himself of all armour; he’d allowed himself to stay by Kageyama for so long. At first, Kageyama had been able to find the chinks in his armour but then he’d stripped him of the armour entirely. Now he was naked. His feelings, his emotions. Naked. It was Kageyama’s choice what he chose to do with them.

      “Can I read your entry?” Kageyama’s hand was resting on top of the notebook. “I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

      “No.” Hinata grabbed the notebook and pushed it into Kageyama’s chest. “Read it. Take the words into your heart and read it. You can choose not to respond if you want. I… I won’t blame you.”

      Kageyama opened up the notebook. He flicked through all the notes they’d written to one another. They made Kageyama’s lips quirk up in unnatural ways. _Is that what smiling is? When your lips do that ‘thing’ even when you try to stop it from happening?_

      And then he reached the most recent one. It had a tear stain on it. _Idiot. He cried on the paper_ , Kageyama thought as he read through the entry. He could feel his heart going _doki doki_ , just thumping against his ribcage. He was nervous. He hadn’t felt this nervous ever since meeting Daichi and Suga. That had been the most nerve-wracking experience of his life; making friends. What kind of experience would this be?

      _I love you, Kageyama Tobio_. Kageyama’s eyes couldn’t move away from the sentence. He just kept reading it in his head, over and over. _No. He can’t. He can’t love me_.

      He looked up at Hinata, who was still wiping away his tears with the flooru. The sight was pulling at Kageyama’s heartstrings. The small ace was precious to him, so precious. But Kageyama didn’t want to hurt him. He was nowhere near perfect, nowhere near _good_. He got angry, unpredictable and people were scared of him. Was Hinata an idiot? Why would he fall for someone like him?

      “I’m a murderer,” Kageyama eventually whispered. “Why?”

      “Remember.” Hinata gulped. “We—we can’t talk about what’s in the paper if we don’t both agree to it. You have to write.” Hinata wasn’t ready to say it out loud. He couldn’t. Kageyama wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear Hinata say it out loud too.

      Kageyama nodded. He took the pen from the ground and penned a response. His hand was a lot less steady than usual, to the point his writing began to resemble Hinata’s.

 

**I’d tell you to stop loving me, but I don’t think it’s an option anymore. You get angry when I tell you what to do.**

**So, I’ll tell you every single reason why you shouldn’t love me. It’s the only way I think you’ll understand, Hinata.**

** One. ** **I killed my father. Not just that, I killed him on my mother’s birthday. I’m a fucked up individual, aren’t I?**

 ** Two. ** **I threw my teammates under the bus. I left them to the police and sped off to save myself. You can’t trust me to protect you forever. I run away when the going gets hard.**

 ** Three. ** **I’m a coward. You’re not. I’m trapped in the past.**

 ** Four. ** **I’M FUCKED UP. I take Prozac every day in the hopes that it’ll help me to keep my sanity, but it’s really not. I can’t stop seeing my mother’s face whenever I sleep. It hurts.**

 ** Five. ** **Everyone will start to hate you, just like they hate me.**

 ** Six. ** **I don’t know anything about love. Killing people’s the only thing I know.**

 ** Seven. ** **You’ll see me crying myself to sleep a lot of nights. But you won’t see the tears. Most of the time, I’m all cried out. I act infallible, but I hurt so badly that I can’t help it. I want to die.**

 ** Eight. ** **There will be days where you’ll see that I’m hurting and you won’t be able to do anything about it. You’ll be unhappy.**

 ** Nine. ** **I don’t know how to love. I can’t tell when I’ve done something wrong. Not always. I’m not good at communication. I’m the fucking reason we have to talk through these damn pages, for fuck’s sake.**

 ** Ten. ** **You can do better than me.**

 ** Eleven. ** **Every time I look in the mirror, all I see are flaws. Everywhere I look.**

 ** Twelve. ** **I’m in here for forty-three years. You’re in for fifteen. And no, you’re not allowed to purposely make your sentence longer. I’ll be old and ugly by the time I get out of here. By then you’ll have come to your senses.**

 ** Thirteen. ** **I’m scared of hurting you.**

 ** Fourteen. ** **I’m scared of loving you.**

 ** Fifteen. ** **I’m scared, full stop.**

**Will you please understand now? I’m not a good man.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      His heart was painfully throbbing as he set the pen down. He clutched a hand to his chest, trying to stop the pain he was feeling. _What is this? Is this the broken heart syndrome that killed Daichi?_

      “Kageyama.” Hinata took Kageyama’s hand, pulled it away from his chest. “You need to stop forcing yourself to suffer alone.”

      “I can’t see anyone around me.” Kageyama’s head was hung low. It was a contrast from the Kageyama that always had his head high, the Kageyama who could make anyone bow to him. He was broken, utterly broken. “Read it. You’ll understand.”

      Hinata understood. He took his hand off Kageyama’s and grabbed the notepad. For a simple leather notepad with nothing but lined pages, it held a lot of weight. It weighed heavy in Hinata’s hand; in Hinata’s heart. He wanted it to stop hurting. _Wasn’t love meant to feel good? Why does reaching a conclusion hurt like this?_

 

* * *

**Please.**

**I don’t care what you’ve done.**

**I don’t care what you did.**

**I don’t care what you will do.**

**I just need you to love me, Kageyama. Please.**

**-Hinata**

 

      Hinata forced the notebook into Kageyama’s hand. It was already open to the specific page. Kageyama felt like a malfunctioning robot when his hands grabbed the pen and began to spurt out _words_ , just _words_ that he needed to string together. He needed Hinata to see.

 

* * *

**You’re not listening. We are not right for each other. You’re not like me, Hinata. You’re not fucked in the brain. If I were to repeat those three words to you, it would turn you into me. I don’t want that. It’s because I care that I’m not going to tell you that.**

**Does this notebook end when we stop asking questions, Hinata?**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Hinata grabbed the pen and started pumping down a response. Why is Kageyama so focused on getting rid of Hinata? Doesn’t he see that Hinata doesn’t want to give him up? Doesn’t he see that Hinata’s addicted to him?

 

* * *

**Yes, it does. But you’re not going to stop asking questions. You can’t, Kageyama. Don’t stop talking to me.**

**What, do you want me to take it back?**

**We can rip out the page. We can pretend that I never said it.**

**-Hinata**

* * *

**No. I’m not ruining your life.**

**Hinata Shouyou, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You walked into my life and you gave me hope. Fuck, you gave me so much hope. I started to believe that there was a purpose. But all I could ever do is drain you of that hope. You started to look sadder right after meeting me. I’m a bad luck omen. We argue and we get mad at each other. We’re bad luck. There’s a reason you never see darkness and light at the same time.**

**It wasn’t meant to be.**

**We won’t rip out the pages, we won’t pretend that you never said it. You’ll keep the book with the chapter I started, and I’ll keep the book with the chapter you started.**

**I love you, Hinata.**

**You’ve found your way in the prison now. You’ve become so close with the Johzenji. Nekoma and Karasuno have accepted you. Nishinoya speaks fondly of you. He says you’d be great in the kitchens. Maybe you’d make a better leader than me. People only respect me because they know what I’m capable of. People respect you because you’re such an optimistic person. You get pushed down, but you bounce back up even higher. You do the things that I can only dream of doing.**

**I guess I should consider myself lucky that I managed to make it into that heart of yours, Hinata.**

**I guess I should consider myself lucky that I got to feel like someone loved me, even if it was only for a few brief moments.**

**I love you, Hinata. It’s not enough to say it once.**

**I love you.**

**-Kageyama**

 

      Hinata couldn’t take it anymore. He slammed the notebook down and grabbed Kageyama by the shoulders. His hands were shaking so much he could barely grab his shoulders properly.

      “Stop being so stupid! I still love you! Stop talking like it’s in the past!”

      “You can’t love me, dumbass! How many times do I have to tell you!”

      “You can tell me until your face goes blue,” Hinata snarled. “I’m not going to fucking listen.”

      “Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn?! I’m telling you this for a reason—”

      “And I don’t care about that reason!” Hinata was shaking; his eyes were threatening to leak with tears once again. “Isn’t it enough that we’re in love, Kageyama? Isn’t that enough?”

      “No. Because you deserve better—”

      “Stop talking about better! All you ever fucking do is protect me, Kageyama. You got your hands on that toothbrush blade, you risked the SHU, just so you could protect me. You care about me more than you do yourself, you fucking idiot. Idiot!”

      “You’re the idiot! Why can’t you see that I’m bad for you?!”

      “Because you’re not!”

      “God, even now, we’re arguing.” Kageyama sighed. It didn’t do much to stop his heart. It was still thumping rapidly; more rapidly than ever. “What kind of relationship works when we’re arguing all the time?”

      “What kind of relationship works when we’re not arguing?”

      “Hinata.” Kageyama was finally beginning to show some visible signs of sadness. There were tears gathering in his eyes. Kageyama was starting to wonder if he was really a robot, but the tears gathering in his eyes said otherwise. His mechanical heart was starting to malfunction. “You’re such a fucking dumbass.”

      “Can you please just kiss me?” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s shoulders, pulled him closer. “Please. I’ll die if you don’t kiss me.”

      “You use that excuse for everything. Dumbass.” Their noses were touching. “I don’t even know how to kiss. Remember? I’ve never kissed anyone. What, do I do this?”

      “Just—” Kageyama pressed his lips against Hinata’s at last. The sniper pressed against his lips, tentatively and unsure. He was nervous; nothing could hide that. By now, he wasn’t sure if he was still breathing. No, he wasn’t breathing. He was just crying. The tears were merging with Hinata’s as the ace pulled away, slapped his hands to Kageyama’s face.

      “You have to breathe, you know.”

      Kageyama took in a shaky breath. “Don’t you think I know that?”

      “Clearly not.” He sucked in some snot that was beginning to leak out of his nose. _God, he’s so gross_. “Idiot. You’re way too shy when kissing.”

      “It’s my first time! Why do you argue about _everything_?!”

      “Because.” He pressed his lips to Kageyama’s this time, having ascertained that Kageyama’s breath had returned. He could taste the menthol on Kageyama’s lips, just as pungent as Hinata remembered. He loved it, loved that cold taste he’d grown to crave. This was Kageyama, this was who he was. The dark-haired man who had tears streaming down his cheeks as his arms hung limp by his sides, unable to do anything.

      Hinata pulled away this time. Kageyama didn’t look any less broken than before.

      “Why can’t I put you back together?” Hinata punched the ground beneath him. “Damnit! Why!”

      “I told you. You’ll hurt yourself trying to get me to love you the way you deserve.” Kageyama was still shaking too much to get back up onto his own two feet. “You just don’t listen, dumbass.”

      “No. It’s not over. I’m… I’ll write…”

      “I didn’t write a question. You can’t.”

      “But…”

      “Stop it. I’ll get angry if you keep hurting yourself like this. Just… get up. Walk away. Do your fifteen years and just _get out of here_.” It hurt Kageyama to say the words. He didn’t want to, he didn’t.

      “No. Why would I abandon you?”

      “When you put a broken piece of china next to a shining piece of china, which piece of china will the shopper choose? The shiny one. The broken one isn’t worth anything but a dime in a thrift shop. Sometimes, not even that.” Kageyama was able to get up onto his feet at last, using the sheds nearby to support him. “You either put two broken pieces of china together to make a whole, or two whole pieces of china together to make a complete set. You don’t get broken china and new china together.”

      “Kageyama… no, Tobio. Listen to me. Tobio.” At the sound of his given name, Kageyama felt his heart clench even harder. Hinata was just making it harder and harder for Kageyama to walk away. “If you run away from this now, it’ll mean you haven’t changed from all those years ago.”

      “Well. Shouyou. I never claimed to be different. And I never claimed to be easy to love.” He bit down on his lip, tried to stop himself from saying anything he didn’t need to. “I need distance right now. Please. This is too much for me right now.”

      Hinata wanted to decline. He wanted to make Kageyama stay there, make him see that he was the right person for him. But… he knew that this was hurting Kageyama.

      “Yes. Right.” Hinata nodded once, even though the motion felt stiff. “But… you have to come back.”

      “I’ll try.” The two stared at one another for a few good moments. It was then that a C.O. happened to come by and spot the two behind the sheds. It wasn’t one of the asshole C.Os, it was one of the normal C.Os. Icicle. He came behind the sheds and ushered with his hands that the two inmates needed to go inside.

      “Sorry, Aone.” Hinata got up and dusted himself off.

      Kageyama couldn’t speak. He just walked away, the same way he did from everything else. He’d walked away from his father’s body. Pretended it didn’t happen. He’d walked away from his friendship with Suga. Walked away from anything which ever got hard for him. And now, he was walking away from Hinata. This was one of the few times where he could genuinely ask himself whether he was making a mistake or not.

      _Why can’t he let himself be happy?_

_Why can’t he find peace?_

_Why… why does it hurt so much?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck. It's really over *lets out big sigh*  
> Well, not really. There'll be a second part to this, I promise! (It's just easier to split it into separate parts rather than having like 300k words condensed into one story, lmao.. I mean, Hinata has fifteen years. Can't squash it all into one.)
> 
> I don't know WHEN I'll start writing the sequel to this, since I've started my GCSEs (which means I'll be way too busy to sit down and power through 100k words, edit them all and proof-read them like a gazillion times in the space of one week) but I promise I WILL write one. Maybe around the end of this year? Either way, this was my first time ever writing a story in third person. I think I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoyed the ride, I guess. Thanks for reading <33 (and pray for Kageyama and Hinata, poor souls) I love you all, just as much as Ennoshita loves shipping everyone in the prison together. Thank you!!
> 
> Man, I do ramble on a lot. I'm sorry. I'm a lot like Kuroo. But, seriously. I hope you enjoyed reading this! If anyone has any ideas as to what I could do in the second part, please feel free to comment your ideas down below. I'm running high on story ideas, but I'm running low on common sense unfortunately (I know, it's sad).
> 
> I love you all; thank you for putting up with my cliffhangers and angst!! (and hold out for part two, hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it'll be up soon, I promise)  
> \---  
> Update as of 26/12/17:  
> Hii again, guys. I've been updating this story over the whole of December (it was originally written a couple months prior to this) and changing little bits that contradict the sequel and stuff. I'm also a little worried that this first story is overly sexual, so I'm trying to change that. It'll most likely take a while, but this is just a note for anyone who's decided to pick this up. As of now, I've just made changes to a few little scenes, added warnings to some and reworded things a little, but the plot's still the same. In 2018, I'll most likely be changing things up a little bit more. I'm leaving things the way they are for now, but I'll probably end up changing some major plotlines soon (e.g. key relationships in the story) and other things, like Hinata ending up in the Johzenji dorm. There's a lot that dissatisfies me with the way I've written this now that I look at it, and since I feel like my writing style has changed from the last time I started writing this, it's in dire need of a proper rewrite. As for the sequel, 'When the Moon Starts Shining', that will still go on as usual.  
> Again, thanks for all the support with this story! Love you guys! <3


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